Tell a classic joke, tell a very classic joke.

One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly, a big Ben rushed past him, and as it drove past him, the driver shouted at him:

Dude, have you ever driven a big run? After saying that, the "whoosh" soared away.

Mr. Wang was very angry and increased the throttle to chase after him.

Seeing that he was about to catch up, the driver stuck out his head and shouted at him again:

Dude, have you ever driven a big run? Then, the "whoosh" disappeared again.

Damn, bull bs what! After Mr. Wang finished scolding, he felt a little more comfortable, so he stopped chasing.

After driving for a while, Mr. Wang saw that the car had just overturned on the side of the road, and he was very curious and slowly drove closer.

I saw that the driver was crushed under the car, and said weakly

Dude, have you ever driven a big run? Do you know where the brakes are? ”

A question for everyone? Which is stronger, Chinese football or our school team?

I'm a primary school student, now the Chinese football team is going to play against our school team, who is stronger?

A: I think your varsity team won, because I support you.

B: It is a brother who is even and has a strong strength o( o....Haha top you sure you win C: I think it's a draw, you are also Chinese, you also belong to Chinese football a: I heard that you play in the national team?

b"Who are you scolding?

B: You're just playing in the national team!! Your whole family plays in the national team!

After the match between China and Belgium:

Q: What is the value of Zheng Zhi?

A: The value of Zheng Zhi is that he can turn his opponent into Zheng Zhihua.

A: A black horse is a black horse, a white horse is a white horse, and a black and white horse is a zebra.

The answer is: shy zebra ......

A: There are three bottles of soda for chickens, ducks and geese, why do chickens have to drink every time?

Q: Because of the graceful (goose takes many branches).

It would be clearer if the landlord could speak Cantonese.

A woman asks for marriage, and there are two conditions for making friends.

1.Be handsome. 2.Have a car.

The computer went to help her search for the results of the chess game, and the woman was not satisfied with the search results and typed them again.

1.To have a beautiful house.

2.To have a lot of money.

The computer went to help her search again for the results of the bank.

The woman was still not disappointed and continued to enter the conditions.

1. Be cool-looking.

2. And have a sense of security.

As a result, the result of the search was Ultraman.

The woman was still not disappointed and continued to enter the conditions.

1.Be handsome. 2.Have a car.

3.To have a beautiful house.

4.To have a lot of money.

5. Be cool.

6. And have a sense of security.

The computer went to help her search for the results again Ultraman was playing chess in the bank.

Police: What the hell, wandering the streets so late!

Miss: Prostitute!

The police were in awe and worshipped!

Police: Which newspaper is it?

Miss: Late hugs!

Police: Which evening newspaper?

Miss: Hug the man at night!

Police: Henan Evening News is good!

Miss: This is something that can only be done at night!

Police: It's really hard to rush the manuscript at night! Pay more attention to your body!

Police: Okay! Manuscript by all means! Manuscript by all means!

A student climbed over a wall to enter the school and was caught by the principal.

Principal: Why don't you go through the school gates?

The student pointed to the clothes: Metersbonwe, don't take the usual path!

Headmaster: How did you climb over such a high wall?

The student patted his pants: Li Ning, everything is possible!

Principal: How does it feel to climb over the wall?

The student points to the shoe: Xtep, the feeling of flying!

The next day, the students came in through the front door.

Principal: Why didn't you climb over the wall today?

The student pointed to the shoes: ANTA, I choose what I like!

Principal: Why aren't you wearing a school uniform?

The student lifted his pants: Semar, you can wear whatever you want.

Principal: Aren't you afraid that I won't let you into the school?

The student patted the clothes on his body: the noble bird, no one can stop it.

The principal was furious: I want to make a big mistake for you!

Student Dissatisfaction: Why?

The principal sneered: Dynamic Zone, I am in charge of my territory!

There is one, the Chinese drive to the United States. But when I arrived in the United States, I was happy and the car went into the ditch. The American police saw it and asked''howareyou?''But the man casually said, "iamok.""As soon as the police heard this, they left. The victim climbed up on his own and rode home!

The policeman called a man to pull the car to the side of the road and said to him, "Sir, please exhale into this breathalyzer." ”

The man said, "I have severe asthma, and if I do this, I will have an attack. ”

So, could you please come with me to the checkpoint for a blood test?”

It's not okay, I have hemophilia, and as soon as I take a blood test, I will die because the blood does not stop flowing."

Then let's take a urine test. ”

I have diabetes and my blood sugar levels become very low when I take a urine test. ”

Then please get out of the car and walk on this white line. ”

Officer, this is not going to work. ”

Why?"Because I'm drunk".

..At this time, I can deeply understand the feelings of the police officer,...!

One day, a woman and three men met, and the woman asked, "How long are you?"The first man said, "18 centimeters".

The woman said, "No, it's too long," and she asked the second man, "What about you?"

Finally, when the woman asked the last man, the man said, "I'm 9 centimeters." And the woman said,

Okay, it's up to you. When she was in the bed, the woman touched her and said, "Damn, I was deceived, with a radius of 9 centimeters !!."

A smart child and a stupid child go to the oral exam, and the teacher asks the smart child;"Who invented the electric light","Edison","Who found the thunder","Marie Curie", who discovered that the earth has gravity","Newton", 100 points, the smart child told him the answer in order to help the stupid child, the teacher asked;"Who is your dad","Edison","Who is your mother","Marie Curie","Who told you","Newton".

An electrician walks into the operating room and says to a patient who is dying of breath: "Listen, take a deep breath, I'm going to have the power out."

Five minutes!”

We had a very cute joke back then.

A certain wolf was very hungry and passed by a house. As soon as the child keeps crying, his mother will dangerously say, you are crying, you are crying, I will throw you out to feed the wolf. The child continued to cry, and the wolf waited for a long time, but the child did not throw it out.

The wolf cried and said. Women are all **.

orz。Every time I think of the wolf's expression, I find it funny.

1. On the subway, I gave up my seat to my aunt, who happily talked to me and asked: How old is the child?I: 26. Aunt said enviously: You look so young, you look like you're in your early 30s, and your children are 26 years old!

2. At night, on the last bus, a woman in white sat in the last row. The driver looked in the rearview mirror, the woman was gone, surprised! Brake sharply and turn around, and the person sits there.

Continue to open and look in the rearview mirror, the woman is not, the sudden brake turns back, and the woman appears again. Continue to open and look in the rearview mirror, no more women! Suddenly, the woman walked slowly, her hair was messy, her face was full of blood, and she said in a deep voice: "You immortal, the old lady has a grudge against you?"

As soon as you tie your shoelaces, you brake suddenly, and as soon as you tie your shoelaces, you brake suddenly. ”

3. The biggest feature of the old Beijing noodle restaurant is the shouting. One day, the two of them went to eat noodles, and they ran to the hall and shouted: "Table 5, two bowls of fried noodles" After eating, the checkout was completed, a total of 25 yuan and 8 cents.

A said: "Give you 26, don't look for it" ran the hall took the money and shouted: "There is a guest at table 5 who will give a tip of 2 cents" The people in the hall looked back at him, and A blushed:

Gotcha, you still look for me for the 2 cents" ran the hall and shouted again: "The 2 cents tip for table 5 is going back again!" ”

31. Shopping with a sister, there are many people on the bus, standing at the standing handrail at the back door, the girl is tired of standing, leaning her head on a pair of hands holding the handrail, I said to her, "That's not your hand." She said, "I know," and rubbed her head against her hands, comfortably continuing to enjoy herself.

I said calmly, "That's not my hand either." The girl's face turned red in an instant, ......The most calm is the owner of the hands, who has been silently watching us.

32. The 3 most difficult words to say every day: I'm hungry; The 4 most poignant words: I'm hungry again; The most helpless 5 words: why are you hungry again; The most comforting 6 words are to hear the other party's response: Actually, I am also hungry.

33. There was a rich man looking for a servant, and the topic of the interview was to go to the toilet, and the first few came out without washing their hands after going to school, so the rich man sent them away and only one washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he had come out without washing his hands, and the rich man asked him why? The servant replied

I brought a paper today....”

34. The four most depressing things in life: peeing and peeing a shoe....Drink the soup and sprinkle a crotch....Fart and shit....Wipe the torn paper....The four most embarrassing things in life: at a friend's house....No paper....at a friend's house....There is paper....There is no water to flush....at a friend's house....There is paper....There is water to flush....I can't go down....at a friend's house....There's paper, there's water....Rush down....The ...... came up again

35. A man went to visit his grandmother with a friend. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friend started eating the peanuts on the coffee table and finished eating them all When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts" and the grandmother responded, "Oh!

Well! Alas! Ever since my teeth fell out, I had to suck out the chocolate on their outer layers.

Old, cough...

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: 1+1=?

The teacher said go home and ask your father.

When Xiao Ming came home, he saw his father singing karaoke

The lyrics go like this:

The great river flows eastward, and the stars of heaven tell me.

Let's go, you have me, I have everything.

Xiao Ming understood.

The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: 1+1=?

Xiao Ming said: The big river flows eastward.

The teacher asked: Who told you that?

Xiao Ming said: The stars in the sky tell me.

The teacher got angry and said, "You give me a penalty station in the corridor."

Xiao Ming said: Let's go.

The teacher said, "You have a nervous disorder, right?"

The teacher spurted blood.

1. One day, the geography teacher asked the students, does the river flow to **?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more sentence ...

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to shoot....

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Storm in Kyushu!

The four most depressing things in life: peeing and peeing a shoe....Drink the soup and sprinkle a crotch....Fart and shit....Wipe the torn paper....The four most embarrassing things in life: at a friend's house....No paper....at a friend's house....There is paper....There is no water to flush....at a friend's house....There is paper....There is water to flush....I can't go down....at a friend's house....There's paper, there's water....Rush down....The ...... came up again

: Once upon a time there was a eunuch.

What's next? Without.

A woman got off the night shift, a man followed the plot, the woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, I'm back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbing fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, nnd, they carved my name wrong......The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be tender..."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, and the old man was startled, when suddenly a voice said, "You are looking for death!"

Changing the house number of my house!! "The old man is rolling down the hill!

At this time, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "He is x mother, it takes such a big deal to make a piece of iron!" ”

Note: NND is "grandma's" (expletive).

1. Question: A student, whose grades are the first to last every year, often fights with others, according to the requirements of the leader, the teacher wants to give the students a better final comment, how to write it?

A: The student's grades are stable and his hands-on ability is strong.

2. Q: Li Yuchun and Sister Furong fell into the water at the same time, you have a brick in your hand, who are you smashing?

Answer: Whoever saves whom.

Answer: You can sell 30 QQ cars, form a team to drive, one will be lined up in the S type, and the other will be in the B type.

4. Q: When we walked our dog last night, our big Tibetan mastiff and a bald wild dog bit by the edge of the grove. Dry! Unexpectedly, the Tibetan mastiff was defeated by a straw dog!! Why?

Answer: The bald dog said, before the bald dog, they all called me lion!

5. Q: I am so rich, what car should I buy for my nanny?

A: Then it depends on what kind of relationship she develops with your husband

6. Q: Why do you have to sound the siren when you catch the bad guys? Aren't you afraid that the bad guys will hear it and run away from afar?

Answer: The superior unit will generally notify the subordinate unit in advance before coming for inspection

7. Q: Why do children born have the same surname as their fathers?

A: Because the money spit out from the ATM belongs to the cardholder.

8. Q: I bought a new manor, how big is it to scare you to death - it took me two and a half hours to drive around!! Do you think it's big?

A: Well, I used to have such a broken car.

10. Q: When you were a child, you fantasized about what kind of scene would make you stand out in front of everyone when you grew up?

Answer: Pick a load of dung on the street, and if anyone is not pleasing to the eye, throw a scoop on him!