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1. Balancing one's own needs and the needs of othersWe often say that to communicate with others is to have insight into the needs of others, to listen, to empathize, and to stand in the perspective of others to see what others are experiencing. There is nothing wrong with taking care of the needs of others, but many times we tend to ignore our own needs. We must know that we also have needs, and once our needs are not met, it is easy to cause emotions such as anger, grievance, anxiety, etc., and emotions often hinder good communication.
In communication, the needs of others are very high, blindly putting the needs of others first, ignoring their own needs, and it is easy to fall into "pleasing grievances". The needs of others are very low, and the needs of oneself are very high, and it is easy to become "strong" in communication, neither caring about the needs of others nor paying attention to one's own needs. This kind of person is called "learned helplessness."
For example, those who label themselves often do not trust others either. In TV dramas, we will often hear women who have been hurt by feelings say:
Hmph, man, not a good thing. Respect the needs of others, but also not wronged yourself. It's called "Respect and Cooperation".
2. Process emotions first, then information. The biggest obstacle to communication is our emotions. Even if we understand a lot of truths and the principles of communication, many times it is difficult to communicate calmly because we are too emotional, angry, and wronged.
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Basic communication principles: accuracy; Progressively; Promptly. Accuracy is a basic principle and requirement, and communication is only effective if the language and manner you use can be understood by the other party.
When carrying out vertical communication, including downward communication and upward communication, the principle of "step-by-step" should be followed as much as possible. It is not possible to prioritize and skip the communication. Timely principle: Information is only valuable if it is fed back in a timely manner.
Communication is often less effective due to untimely information delivery or insufficient attention from the recipient.
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Target attention. Role positioning.
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As follows:
1.Purpose principle: Before communication, you must be clear about the purpose of your communication, which is the premise and key to effective communication.
2.Consultative principle: In the process of communication, we should fully listen and negotiate amicably, and we should not monopolize the right to speak and a lot of time.
3.Consensus principle: step by step from small consensus to large consensus to final consensus, efficient communication is the accumulation of consensus.
Seeking understanding, avoiding or eliminating misunderstandings, and preferably gaining two or three confidants—a need that may not be the most important for human beings, but certainly very important.
In order to meet this need, we are passionate about communication and expression. Some communication behaviors get twice the result with half the effort, which is enjoyable for others and oneself, but some communication ultimately backfires.
There are many people who are lazy to communicate and think that communication is not so important - "those who understand me naturally understand and do not need to explain; People who don't understand me don't want to understand my suffering, no matter how much they explain it." This view seems free and open-minded, but how irresponsible!
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The first is called the principle of openness, the second is called the principle of sincerity, and the third is called the principle of timely feedback, which are the three basic principles of effective communication and the three most basic characteristics of effective communication.
The principle of openness is that when you communicate with others, you should let them know as much as possible about you. For example, you can ask the other person: "Are you a ** person?"
What year were you born? "What do you do?" "What do you do?"
Wait. These are open-ended questions. The principle of sincerity is to make the other party feel that you are equal to him and stand on the same starting line.
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1. Know your communication object: Know yourself and your opponent, win all battles, and you must understand your communication object before you can formulate a communication strategy. It is best to compare your heart to your heart, think from the other party's point of view, and how to express your ideas is most acceptable, so that communication will definitely get twice the result with half the effort.
2. Enthusiastically convey firm beliefs: if you can't even be persuaded yourself, how can you convince others? As long as you believe that something is right and right, then express it with enthusiasm and firmness, this emotion will be contagious to others and can also increase your persuasiveness.
Cowering and hesitation will only make the other person suspicious.
3. Listen more and talk less: close your mouth and listen to hear the truth, so that the communication object can also express opinions, so that you can not only hear the real voice of the other party, but also explain the questions raised, do not interrupt the other party's statement without listening to a few words, which will only accelerate the closing of the door to communication with each other.
4. Think and plan in advance: Success always belongs to people who are prepared in advance, and the same is true for communication, check your strengths and weaknesses in communication every day, and think about how you can use or improve, so that even if there is an emergency, you will not panic.
5. Be careful of cultural differences: This is one of the common mistakes made in communication, many things are not absolutely right or wrong, just regional or cultural differences, resulting in what I like is not what he likes, then it is important to understand your communication object in advance, so as to avoid making mistakes.
6. Make good use of story metaphors: A good story can strengthen the impression and bring in the projection, if your story can leave a deep impression on the communication object, the thing is half the success, if you can also integrate the image or purpose you want to achieve into the plot, and let the other party have an empathetic projection, the subtle effect is even more amazing.
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Active listening, sincere praise, timely response, focus on feedback, avoid arguments, and think systematically.
Interpersonal communication refers to the process of information exchange and thought transmission between people through language, words, symbols or non-verbal symbols, which includes the communication between individuals, between individuals and groups and between human groups, which is a basic function of society, the main way for people to communicate information, and one of the cornerstones of social information system.
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1. Accurate expression
In the process of business communication, accurate expression is the basic requirement, you can use different ways to express, but must be clear, not ambiguous, so that the other party has a misunderstanding, which requires skilled language skills, and at the same time very clear about the actual situation, so as to overcome various obstacles in the communication process.
2. The principle of timeliness
Information is time-sensitive, especially in the ever-changing business market, in the process of business communication with customers, we must pay attention to the timeliness of information, whether it is to convey downwards or to provide information upwards, we should follow the principle of timeliness, because timely feedback, business communication is valuable.
In actual work, many people do not pay attention to this, and do not inform users at the first time when they encounter problems, and wait for customers to learn the news from other channels, and then it is too late to communicate with them.
3. Peer-to-peer communication
Usually we always say that everyone is equal, there should be no distinction between superior and inferior, but business communication is not better than daily chat, people involved in business communication will be different due to different backgrounds such as education and position, in business communication, the two sides of the dialogue must be equal.
Communication is not a command, if there is a compulsion of the command, we don't need to communicate with people, we can't force anyone to communicate with us, so we have to stand on the same level as the other person.
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There are three basic principles of communication: the principle of accuracy, the principle of step-by-step, and the principle of timeliness.
The basic structure of communication includes three aspects: information, feedback, and channel, and communication cannot be completed without any party. According to the specific structure, communication can be divided into two types: informal communication network and formal communication network.
Through the study of "gossip", it is found that informal communication networks mainly include cluster, gossip, and accidental. Formal communication networks are available in the form of chain, wheel, full channel, and Y.
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Give people 100% attention, take the initiative to care about the career development of team members, and show enthusiasm for the progress of the organization and the people who make it better. Ultimately, emotion will be the most important factor in whether or not followers identify leaders as effective communicators.
But if people can't understand what you're saying or how to draw conclusions, then all authority and empathy won't help. Logos is the way you appeal to reason, which is logic. Expertise in strategic thinking, problem-solving, and analytical skills is why modern leaders influence end results in a clear and persuasive way.
While some people can act intuitively, such as Steve Jobs, who tried to convince us that he was, most leaders still need to provide an analytical process to explain their decisions. This is the most grounded part of leaders when they present and analyze information to illustrate the problems of the organization. But I must warn you that presenting information is not an equal sign with explaining it clearly (it would be helpful to explain it in full sentences), and that simply presenting information is not the same as rearranging and combining information to clearly show the merits of an action.
The information doesn't speak for itself, but if it speaks for itself, it saves a lot of time. Effective leaders understand that it is well worth the time and effort to make it clear to everyone that there is a correlation between data, analysis, and conclusions.
These three communication essentials are mutually reinforcing. Perhaps you rely primarily on data and analysis (logic) to make a point, but at the same time create a professional image and authority (personality) on a topic. These three elements are necessary for perfect communication, but by strengthening one of them, you can become a better communicator and thus a better leader, and combining them is a good path to great achievement.
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