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I don't think it's your parents' restraint on you, they just love you very much, afraid that you will learn badly outside, afraid that you will be bullied outside, they will lose their control over you and have no sense of security, everyone will encounter these situations on the way to grow up, it may be that you can't accept this way of your parents, but I believe you will understand their feelings.
Parents' love will be somewhat overbearing, at least at the age when we need to be free, maybe they have no trust in our self-care ability and ability to behave in the world, I believe that parents love their children, if they can't accept it if you talk to them openly and honestly, you can find other methods, such as writing letters, although it is very old-fashioned, but it is often very effective, at the same time, you are already a big child after all, but you yourself will be more willing to treat yourself as an adult, then let your parents see your mature side, When they have confidence in you, you will study hard, be a good person, and will not be a bad boy, they will not be so restrictive to you.
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Ask them how they would feel if you treated them the same way, completely depriving them of their own space, privacy?
If they tell you that adults and children are not to be compared, tell them that you are old enough to think and judge for themselves.
For example, if they do this, they will ruin your friendship with your classmates, and if they continue to hinder your life, you will have fewer and fewer friends, and a person who only has family affection and no friendship will not be happy. What if they say they want you to make good friends, tell them that you have the ability to judge and who doesn't make mistakes?
You can also tell them that the Cold War will not solve the problem, and if you can come and talk about your feelings every week, or at least every month, it will increase your understanding of each other a lot.
And you understand that they are doing this for your own good, but it is also really hurting your relationship with the outside world.
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Exercise your rebellious eloquence.
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Summary. In Glasgow, Scotland, a little girl hates parental discipline and nagging. In order to escape from her parents, she ran away from home.
When he ran out of money from home, he didn't find a job to make ends meet. She was depressed by multiple setbacks, but she didn't want to go home - she didn't think her parents loved her at all. Eventually, he ended up on the streets.
During this time, her father died and her mother grew old. The girl never sent a ** or wrote a letter to her family.
An example of loosening parental restraints.
In Glasgow, Scotland, a little girl hates parental discipline and nagging. In order to escape from her parents, she ran away from home. When he ran out of money from home, he didn't find a job to make ends meet.
She was depressed by many setbacks, but she didn't want to go home - she didn't think her parents loved her at all. Eventually, he ended up on the streets. During this time, her father died and her mother grew old.
The girl has never written a ** or a letter to her family.
Parents are the only ones who can be selfless about themselves.
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Summary. Hello dear, happy to answer for you! The bondage of the family refers to:
The family restricts its freedom in some ways, and the original family, mainly the mother's restraint on a person, is divided into two situations, one is that the mother controls herself excessively, and the other is that the mother is very weak and has always asked the child to bear and resolve the mother's anxiety <>
What is the bondage of the family?
Hello dear, happy to answer for you! The shackles of the family refer to: the family restricts its freedom in some aspects, and the original family, mainly the mother's bondage to a person is divided into two situations, one is that the mother is too controlling herself, and the other is that the mother is very weak and has always asked the child to bear and resolve the mother's anxiety <>
Kiss, give you an expansion: get rid of the shackles of the family: 1. Don't have illusions about your parents, not all parents love their children; 2. Learn to understand your parents, because only by learning to understand can you make yourself better; 3. Accept your own shortcomings and recognize your mistakes, so that you can better correct them; 4. Make more positive friends, because positive friends can influence you and pull you from the darkness to the light <>
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1.Express your thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes parents are overly involved because they are worried about their children's safety and future, but if children are able to express their thoughts and feelings and let parents know their thoughts and decisions, it may be possible to alleviate parents' worries and interference.
2.Build trust and communication.
Building trust and communication is key to addressing excessive parental interference. Children can convince parents that they are able to handle things independently through positive communication and demonstrating their abilities and sense of responsibility.
3.Find your own interests and hobbies.
Finding their own interests and hobbies allows children to have more time and energy to pursue their dreams and goals, and it can also allow parents to understand their children's interests and hobbies better and reduce unnecessary interference.
4.Develop the ability to be independent.
The ability to be independent is one of the necessary abilities for everyone, and children can make parents believe that they can live and deal with problems independently by learning the ability to live independently and deal with problems, reducing interference and constraints.
5.Stick to your principles and values.
Sticking to one's own principles and values can give children a clearer goal and direction, and it can also allow parents to better understand their children's thoughts and decisions, 6Learn to say "no".
Independent thinking and decision-making is one of the necessary abilities for everyone, and children can learn the ability to think and make decisions independently, so that parents can believe that they can deal with problems and make decisions independently, reducing interference and constraints.
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1. Emotional blackmail of children with socks.
The mother feels that she has sacrificed too much in exchange for the control of her child.
This manipulation may be reflected in the fact that when looking for a job, the mother wants the child to find a job according to the parents' ideas, ignoring the child's real emotional needs.
Or when it is time to get married, the mother will urge the child to get married and have children as soon as possible.
The child will think that his mother has given him a lot, so he will sometimes choose to compromise and obey his mother's wishes.
However, the temporary compromise may bring calm, but it has planted a time bomb for future contradictions.
2. Limit children's freedom of choice.
The mother almost poured her mind into the child, and did not even have a life of her own. At this time, the mother must have hoped that her efforts would be rewarded.
The mother's hope in return may be to want her child to live the way she wants, from not allowing her child to go out and play with classmates on weekends, or as big as choosing a job and partner for her child.
However, as children grow up, they also have their own ideas. At this time, this kind of mother's love becomes a kind of bondage for the child.
3. "Swallow" the child.
Since mothers naturally want to be rewarded for their efforts, children live in the midst of their mother's great needs.
The child can't bear to see his mother cry sadly for him so much, so the child will do a lot of things in accordance with his mother's will many times, so that he may gradually lose himself in life.
How can mothers guide their children correctly?
1. Don't try to manipulate your child.
Proper management can help children develop self-discipline.
However, the mother's excessive manipulation of the child can easily cause the child's psychological resistance and cause dissatisfaction with the mother.
After a long time, the child may become bored with his mother as soon as he sees it.
The mother must not try to manipulate the child, as this will make the child feel tired.
2. Give children the freedom to choose.
The child is also an independent individual, and the mother must learn to respect the child's ideas.
In some small things, you can let your child make their own decisions, and in some big things, you can discuss with your child as a friend.
3. Don't let your child walk with a sense of guilt.
Although the child is born to the mother, the child is also the only life in this world, and has its own way of living.
Mothers should accompany their children as both relatives and friends on the road of their children's growth, and do not make them feel that they are living for you.
Let your child leave behind the heavy guilt of "living for you" and let your child move forward with ease, which may give you unexpected gains.
Many mothers think that they have given so much for their children and deserve to be understood by their children.
But this kind of self-sacrificing maternal love is not what the child wants, and the child cannot bear this heavy maternal love.
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If your parents are just showing their different suggestions and ideas out of concern for you, but they don't force you to accept and comply, then you don't have to be too nervous, you can have a good chat with your parents about what they are against, maybe the stalking will give you some new perspective on how to maintain your relationship. For example, parents will worry about some very practical problems, such as being in a different place, financial difficulties, etc. You can take such objections as a reflection on your relationship and prepare for the difficulties that may come your way.
If you feel that these ideas or suggestions put forward by your parents are reasonable, then you can choose to accept them or propose corresponding solutions. For example, you can talk to your parents specifically.
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The difficulty between the father and the mother when they are old is mostly because of the values of both parties, the original family, the pattern formed in the long-term relationship, and the sense of crisis caused by the aging of the elderly parents.
Whatever the reason for the difficulty between parents and children, it is important to solve the problem.
Understand and tolerate parents.
Many of their parents' habits have been with them for decades and are hard to change. We should respect them and respect the differences between us and them.
Parents are not perfect people, they will make mistakes, there will be times when they say the wrong things, and there will be times when emotions are out of control, at this time, we need to be open-minded, use generosity to tolerate parents, and forgive some mistakes of parents.
Change the way you respond to your parents.
When getting along with your parents, don't be in a hurry to get angry, don't be in a hurry to reason, don't be in a hurry to teach them how to do it, and change the way you respond to them.
By keeping your mouth shut, you can avoid conflict, and then put yourself in the shoes of your parents and consider why they are doing it.
You know, parents are not bad people, they are just used to it, used to worrying, and used to nagging.
With such an understanding and a calm response, it is possible to figure out how to solve the problem effectively.
Find an outlet for your parents' emotions.
Many times, the impenetrable love of parents for their children makes children who are accustomed to getting along with each other feel suffocated.
Then keep parents busy, encourage them to develop hobbies, meet new friends, parents who have their own life circle will not focus on their children, no one will be annoyed by their children.
Perhaps, aging parents become difficult to get along with, but as children, we should be more patient and start to change from now on, starting from the heart.
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Ah I also encountered a similar problem, the professional universities were chosen by my parents for me (because I didn't do well in the college entrance examination, I had no confidence to follow) They chose a school in the province for me, I got the best subject for the major, and the sea instilled something too realistic to bind my mind (in terms of employment), and occasionally there was distrust (I studied obediently since I was a child, and "doubt" is really unbearable!) )
Once, I cried for the profession that I was not good at, maddened that my mother had squeezed the poor space of my dreams, and saddened by their distrust... There are really many times when there is a gap between me and my parents!
But it's okay! When I look at these things from other angles, my attitude changes a lot: First of all, no matter what we do, they want us to have a better life in the future, and the original intention is good, but there is a bit of a problem in the practice; Secondly, after all, they have more social experience than us, and they have more twists and turns than us, and the reason why they go to great lengths to make choices for us is to avoid us from taking detours and receiving unnecessary harm, and to invisibly form a restrain us: Also, they choose to go to school and work nearby because they want to protect us, and most importantly:
They watch themselves grow old day by day, and they are afraid of the insecurity and loneliness of their children not being around; In the end, "distrust" is just a manifestation of their expectations for their children, and only they know the toil and pain of providing for us to go to school, but they have swallowed it in their stomachs for the sake of our future, and this tone of questioning is for fear that their efforts will be in vain, and it is also the hope that we will have a better future
If you think about it, our thoughts or dreams are nothing compared to what they have done and endured for us, even if they are not suitable. After all, the rules in life must be realistic, and you must shoulder your due responsibilities...
Try to understand In fact, if you change your mentality and way to get along and communicate with them, you will find that they are not completely incomprehensible to their own ideas, but that both parties should take an extreme approach for their "love" for each other
It's just some of my own feelings... Hehe··· Hope it helps you in some way!
I think there are three points: first, you persevere in this aspect and move the other party's parents with sincerity; The second is your girlfriend's aspect, your girlfriend will be the same to you as you are to her, never give up, let your girlfriend communicate more with her parents, and get recognition for the next step, especially after graduation; The third is to communicate with the woman's parents about your plans and measures to face difficulties after graduation, the parents just want their children to live happily, as long as you can prove this and get the approval of the woman's parents, then it's OK.
I suggest that if you really love him, give him some time to develop, don't blame your parents if you are killed, your parents will not harm you, as long as he has a prospect and can give you happiness, your parents will accept him sooner or later, and you don't want to have only love, drink the northwest wind to live. Just fall in love, keep your purity, and if he is really good to you, I believe there will be happiness. Don't pass on all your parents' words to your boyfriend, I'm sure no boy will be grateful to his girlfriend's parents for not liking him.
Simple Love - Jay.
Word: Xu Ruoxuan. >>>More
Jiang Zhishu's parents, Liu Mei and Xia Donghai, and Yu Zhouzhou's aunts and uncles. I want to be a parent who respects his child's wishes, doesn't put pressure on him, doesn't force him to make a lot of choices, and lets him live the life he wants. It's better to be able to open up with your child, like a friend, rather than the current relationship between me and my mother, who quarrels when they don't get along. >>>More
I was also very touched when I heard it, your future parents-in-law are very good to you, which means that you are very cute, and his parents are also good people. It's just that as we get older, our parents are getting older, and we will have our own families and children, should you also love them well? When we were young, it was our parents who took care of us, so when they grew old, shouldn't we take care of them? >>>More