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Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are born to contradict each other, and no matter how good the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are, there will be conflicts when they get pregnant and give birth to a child, and there are differences in various aspects such as living habits and parenting concepts. And once a woman is pregnant, her body, emotions and appetite will change very much, and she will often be inexplicably upset. If you can get along with the relationship in the future, don't be together for a long time!
It's definitely not that you have a psychological problem!
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This mentality is very normal. It's a stranger in the first place, and it's easy to be uncomfortable living together.
Why do three generations live together? If you want your mother-in-law to help you take care of your children, and you don't like her to live, then you have a problem with your mentality.
After getting married and having children, you must be independent, and don't bother the elders to help you take care of the children, so that you don't owe her favors. You are the real mistress of your house, and you can stiffen your back and say to someone you don't like, "Don't come and disturb our lives!" ”
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It may be that your views are not at the same as your mother-in-law's, and you are more introverted and don't talk to her.
It is also possible that you have a strong desire to possess and your husband and children do not want others to share it.
In short, you are not sick.
You should also understand that your mother-in-law, the elderly, wants to see the children and grandchildren, that is a normal thing.
If you are pregnant, you should relax and be good for your child.
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Would you like your mother to come to live at your house?
The only difference between your mother and your mother-in-law is that she didn't give birth to you herself, so what else do you have to make trouble?
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Seeing my mother-in-law is annoyed by psychological problems, and the specific reasons are as follows:
1. Have been injured.
There are many daughters-in-law who have countless conflicts with their mother-in-law since they got married, especially when women give birth to children, I believe that many people are deeply touched, so they have scars in their hearts, so they have a strong resistance to their mother-in-law.
2. I can't get used to my mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law's habits are too different from her own habits, or the mother-in-law does not pay attention to hygiene in some aspects, which makes the daughter-in-law very helpless, so sometimes the mother-in-law's habits always make the daughter-in-law resist.
3. Mental poisoning.
There is no estrangement between himself and his mother-in-law, but he has always seen a bad relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law before, so he is also very afraid of this situation, so he has subconscious resistance to his mother-in-law in his own thinking.
How to avoid the psychological problem of "annoying when you see your mother-in-law".
1. Try not to live under the same roof to avoid contradictions. It is said that "distance and separation form beauty", and don't live together after starting a family.
2. If there are contradictions that need to be resolved in time, don't let the contradictions accumulate deeper and deeper, and if there are contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they should be said in time.
3. As a daughter-in-law, you should be more considerate of your mother-in-law and communicate with your mother-in-law calmly, because the concept of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is different.
4. Reduce the time spent together in the same space, many times your mother-in-law annoys you because she is always shaking in front of your eyes. There are too many differences in each other's living habits, educational concepts, and values, but when you often share the same room, it is difficult to avoid the world.
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Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not enemies, what is there to resist, if it is really a problem of living habits, you can either communicate directly, or endure silently, or buy a house and move out, there are only three ways. The issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has developed into a specific social phenomenon in China, unlike other European and American countries, our tradition is to honor our parents, so most people will let their parents move in with them after getting married and buying a house, while in Western countries, there is basically not much contact with the children when they are independent, and they belong to each other. Two generations are under the same roof, and because of their different concepts and lifestyles, it is easy for conflicts to erupt.
But the other party is her husband's mother, and her lover must be towards her, so she usually just says patience for this kind of thing. So what can be done to change this?
First, understand that no one is forever young and everyone will grow old. The present of your parents is the future of you and me. Think about how you would feel if your child's wife disliked you in various ways and didn't want you to stay in their house.
So don't be too selfish when you encounter things, and put yourself in the shoes of others。When the elderly are old, they may be careful about some things, they may accidentally stain the floor, they may speak very verbosely, and you just need to think about these problems and you will be relieved to do it in the future.
Second, more communication is the fastest way to resolve conflicts. Sometimes conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law break out because the two do not communicate well, so that it is difficult to reach a consensus on some things. Communication can open the knots and make each other understand each other's ideas better, so that many problems will be avoided naturally.
At the same time, only heart-to-heart communication can build trust between each other, and the trust and tacit understanding between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can enhance mutual feelings, make the family more harmonious, and the overall cohesion is stronger.
Third, if you really meet the kind of mother-in-law who is difficult to get along with, you can also explain your thoughts to your lover. Change the permanent residence into a short stay, and leave more private space for the couple to live. At the same time, you can also take your parents over for a short stay, so that the two families will not suffer, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be well balanced.
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I am very resistant to my heart, and my mother-in-law has been in contact for a long time, and I am the same for a long time in contact with my mother-in-law, which is a kind of torment for me, because my mother-in-law's three views are completely different from mine, and his way of doing things is also different from mine.
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If you are resistant to contact with your mother-in-law, then shorten the contact time. For example, moving out and spending time alone with your husband is a little farther away, so that the number and time of seeing each other every day is reduced, and it is possible to go back once on weekends. It's far away, everyone sees each other less, there are fewer contradictions, and it's easier to get along.
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I am very resistant in my heart, and I have been in contact with my mother-in-law for a long time, so I should negotiate with my husband, then you and your mother-in-law will be separated for a period of time and cannot be together, which will reduce the conflict between you.
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Then you should take the initiative to talk about these things, and hope that you can make your mother-in-law understand yourself, so that you will not be particularly resistant.
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At this time, you must learn to accept your mother-in-law, and you can usually communicate with your husband, you must learn to respect and understand each other, and you must be very thoughtful when doing things, and don't offend your mother-in-law.
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If you are very resistant, you can try to have as little contact with him as possible. If you really can't, then you can only change yourself.
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If you are resistant to long-term contact with your mother-in-law, don't contact for a long time, you can move out and live, and go back to see it occasionally.
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I think this can only be your own independent housing to live on, I went to my mother-in-law to meet during the New Year's holiday, there will be fewer contradictions, and there will be no resistance.
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Don't have resistance, if you really have resistance, then it is difficult to recover, it is recommended to think about the mother-in-law's goodness slowly, so that you will change and try to communicate with your husband.
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You should tell your husband these thoughts and hope that your husband can solve this matter by himself, so as not to trigger some conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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If you can't get along with your mother-in-law, it's best to be able to go out and live alone, so as to reduce the chance of meeting and conflicts.
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At this time, you can choose to go out, you may be able to live outside with your husband, if you can, but the premise is that the elderly should be taken care of.
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Can you elaborate on why you are so resistant? Alas, find the source of this, and if you want to solve it, then you have to solve this source.
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We should try to get to know the elderly and talk to them more often, so as to promote family harmony.
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Moving out is the standard answer. Occasionally go to see her or ask her to come over for two days.
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I should calm down and reflect on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law with my mother-in-law.
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Take your time, everyone will be moved, and people are not cold-blooded animals.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a problem since ancient times! When two people with completely different concepts of life are together, it is natural that there will be a lot of contradictions! Especially the mother-in-law feels that the daughter-in-law has snatched the child, so there will be a particularly uncomfortable feeling, and there may also be hostility by the way, if you have the conditions, it is best not to live together, stay away from the mother-in-law, and let your object praise your benefits more from the mother-in-law!
It's going to get better!
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Don't talk to her. You have to believe that all the Venerable Master wants the good of their children. You touched her with your heart. If this is true, the stone can be touched and become hot.
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This problem is common in Chinese society and in Chinese-style families, which requires both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have common, understanding and tolerance, to be sincere to sincere, to understand to understand, to treat each other sincerely, not to treat others in the way of others, but also to govern their bodies, so that the effect will not be good, you pay, others will see that the time is long, and the hearts of the people will grow in the future, and they will slowly change, this sentence is said to both sides, and it is applicable!
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The landlord believes that people's hearts are flesh and blood, and as long as you are always friendly to your mother-in-law, one day she will be moved. Every time the landlord goes to see her, he can buy her delicious and beautiful clothes. Help her cook, eat and wash dishes, clean, buy medicine when she is sick, and ask for warmth.
After a long time, she will be able to understand your filial piety and will eventually accept you.
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Do what you have to do, don't get angry about it, it's important that your husband thinks you're right. You do what you have to do, and she can't help you.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more delicate and sensitive, you don't think too much, think about the good place, no matter how she treats you, you have to be sincere and good to her, and you have to cover her with warmth no matter how cold your heart is, of course you have to bear the grievances. Home and everything, chat with your mother-in-law, care more about her life, don't get too close, give each other a free space, thank you you will make your wishes come true.
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Your mother-in-law is always hostile to you, so you can ask your husband to ask what is causing it, and if there is nothing wrong with her, don't bother with her.
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Hostility is hostility, you do what you have to do, say what you should say, but it is not recommended that you have the same hostility as her, everything will be fine after a long time.
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In fact, the problem of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a very difficult problem to deal with. Although my mother-in-law did not give birth to us and raised us, we married his son. We will spend the rest of our lives in this family, they may become our dearest people, I think that when getting along with my mother-in-law, we must first treat each other with our hearts and not play some tricks.
Only when everyone treats each other with their hearts and feels the heart-to-heart communication with each other, then there will be no hostility in life. Secondly, we can find a time to communicate together, after all, it is also our own relatives, we believe that as long as we communicate well, there will be nothing to do if we talk about the problem. Finally, I believe that as long as we handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law correctly, it will not be a problem.
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Touch her with your sincerity! Sincerity to the golden stone for the open!
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There are many discordant relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and it is normal for you to think that your mother-in-law is always hostile to you, after all, the son raised by your mother-in-law belongs to you, and she is still obedient to you, and your mother-in-law is definitely unhappy, you have to deal with the relationship with your mother-in-law, try to let your husband care more about your mother-in-law, often create a little surprise for your mother-in-law, eat, buy gifts, go out to travel, etc., your relationship will definitely ease.
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I think you should be kind to your mother-in-law, she will slowly feel your heart, and she will slowly be good to you.
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People can't always be hostile to you for no reason, first of all, you should think about what you are not doing right, if you feel that you are not doing it wrong, then you should talk to your mother-in-law, communication can solve the problem, otherwise you think you are right, your mother-in-law thinks she is right, the two people can run in, no communication is always like this, sooner or later there will be a big problem.
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Try not to live under the same roof, each has its own way, usually hit a **, and then go to see her during the holidays and New Year, in addition, whether your husband can adjust your care is very important, how this man maintains the relationship between two women, it is also crucial, in front of the mother-in-law to say that the daughter-in-law is good, in front of the daughter-in-law to talk more about the mother-in-law is not easy, over time, your relationship will be eased, I believe that people's hearts are flesh and blood, it is impossible to be like stubborn ice.
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I think you shouldn't think too much, find a suitable opportunity to sit down and talk with your mother-in-law, family and everything is prosperous, you must remember this sentence.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs to be slowly run-in. Have a bottom line and bear with it.
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To change a person is very difficult、Be yourself、The other let time to fade slowly。
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At the beginning, it was a little bit, and the son who has raised you for many years is always a little uncomfortable in your heart. It's good to be kind to your mother-in-law for a long time, don't think too much. Let a sleeping dog lie.
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Communicate with her husband, let him play the role of an intermediary, find out if there is a misunderstanding, and strive to eliminate the misunderstanding as soon as possible.
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