20 points for jokes The latest, most positive and most awesome jokes

Confession. I like you so much, and there are many people like me who like you because you're so cute! You're good, really, but I have to choose to give you up because you're too noble for me to dominate you!

You are so noble, only those who have money can get you! You are really too expensive, a little pig actually bought two hundred and five!

1. My daughter is clamoring to buy sportswear on the grounds that she can wear it for a morning run.

Dad said, "Why do you have to buy sportswear?" It's the same with a morning jog in a school uniform. ”

The daughter said, "How can it be the same?" Running in a school uniform, people don't know I'm exercising, and they think I'm going to be late for school! ”

2. Dad said: "Science and technology are developing rapidly, and mankind has realized its desire to land on the moon. ”

When he heard this, he said, "When I grow up, I will ascend to the sun." ”

Dad said, "It's so hot in the sun that people can't go up at all." ”

The child laughed: "Dad is so stupid, won't I go at night?" ”

3. Xiao Ming said to his friends: "My father is very fierce and can beat people, but my mother never beats me." ”

The little friend said with envy: "Then your mother must love you very much." ”

Xiao Ming was very resentful: "It's not likely, as long as I don't obey, my mother will hand me over to my father." ”

4. Children fall in love.

Boy: I love you, would you like to look at the moon with me?

Girl: I'll go if I have candy.

There are three little pigs, pig A's name is "who", pig B's name is "where", and pig C's name is "what". One day, pig A and.

Pig B is standing in the doorway, and pig C is on the roof. A wolf spotted them and wanted to eat them, so he rushed to pig A ......

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: That's right! Wolf: What?

Pig A: What's on the roof.

Wolf: I'm asking what is your name?

Pig A: Who am I called, what is on the roof.

The wolf asked Pig B again.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig B: I am not who it is, who it is (pointing to Pig A).

Wolf: Do you know it?

Pig B: Yes. Wolf: Who is it?

Pig B: Yes.

Wolf: What? Pig B: What's on the roof.

Wolf: Where? Pig B: Where's me?

Wolf: Who? Pig B: Who is it? (pointing to pig A again).

Wolf: How do I know?

Pig B: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What? Pig B: It's on the roof.

Wolf: Where? Pig B: It's me.

Wolf: Who? Pig B: I'm not who I am, who it is.

Wolf: Oh my God! Pig A Pig B: "Oh my God" is our dad.

Wolf: What, your father?

Pig Calendar B: No. Wang Bi.

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore, and looked up to the sky and sighed: "Why? ”

Pig ABC: Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf: What? Pig A: No, why our grandfather.

Wolf: Why?

Pig A: Yes! Wolf: What is it?

Pig A: No, it's "why".

Wolf: Who? Pig A: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: yes, who am I.

Wolf: What? Pig AB: It's on the roof.

In the end, the wolf committed suicide.

Fun fact about the fish pot.

The fish said, "I keep my eyes open because I am reluctant to leave by your side." ”

The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day long to surround you and hold you tight." ”

The pot said, "It's all ripe and so much nonsense." ”

You can't even brush a bowl well.

When I was washing the dishes, I didn't get it right, and I fell one, and the old lady heard it.

Suddenly yelled at me:

If I had used your money to raise pigs, I would have made a fortune a long time ago, and I wouldn't even be able to brush a bowl with you!

Teacher: What is 8 minus halving?

Elementary school students: vertical cut is equal to 3, horizontal minus is equal to 0.

Teacher: ...What a powerful formula.

Have you calculated the above formula?

Is it worth fighting over trivial matters?

Knowledge changes destiny.

A child who was in a car accident and flew 100 meters unharmed because he had a large schoolbag to cushion him, he said that he felt for the first time that knowledge could change his destiny ......

"Uncle, I'm going to reverse, you help me watch it, and tell me when I hit it. ”

Okay, okay, you pour. Pour, pour, pour ......(Bang-) Okay, bumped in. ”

I remember one time when I went to buy a fruit called Elizabeth, I opened my mouth and said, "Boss, how much is Shakespeare?" The owner was stunned on the spot.

2. The physics teacher talked about waves: "This is a thick spring, I push it from both ends to see if it has become dense (constipated)?" ”

3. I heard from my classmates that once a girl in their dormitory went to buy sanitary napkins and said to the boss: a pack of sanitary napkins.

The boss actually asked: Do you want three fresh or spicy?

Then the classmate was stunned for a moment and said: Sanxian, I'm afraid I can't stand the spicy.

1. The teacher asked, "What is saturation?", and the student replied, "Teacher, teacher, I know that saturation is when the bus is crowded, there is a person at the front door, and a person is squeezed out of the back door".

2. A couple on the subway, due to the large number of people, relative to the station, the boy said to the girl, you see there are a lot of people today, and then took a random picture with the mobile phone**, and handed it to the girlfriend**, the girlfriend nodded knowingly, so the boy took the mobile phone to close the distance, aimed at a beautiful woman diagonally opposite and began to take pictures, the boy looked at his girlfriend and said silently, there are really a lot of people, the girl smiled shyly, and nodded affectionately. Voiceover "Your boyfriend is photographing beautiful women, did you make it??" ”

3. At the beginning of military training, colleges with a large number of people are often assigned to conduct military training on football fields with poor environments. One day, the girls' team began to kick the right step, just as everyone was concentrating on kicking the right step, only to listen to the instructor's order to turn back in turn", and then came everyone's hearty laughter, everyone looked at each other and found that because they were too hard to kick the right step, the soot that ran to was too big, and many students had a black soot around the tiger's mouth, which looked like little Japanese devils.

The security environment on campus is very poor, and bicycles are often lost. A certain gentleman lost several cars and was angry. In desperation, he locked seven locks in the car, and attached a note in order to anger the thief.

Above: Look how you steal!! After class, he was pleasantly surprised to find that the car was safe and sound, and the note was still there.

When I got closer, I was surprised.

He found that in addition to the original seven locks, there was one more lock on the car, which became eight. Looking at the note again, it was not the original one, but a new one. Upper book: Look how you open!!