Ask for hilarious jokes

In Chinese class, when the word "wellspring of thought" was mentioned, the teacher said, "When you write essays, you feel a flash of inspiration in your mind, and what will flow out continuously?" ”

Xiao Ming woke up from a big dream and said loudly: "Brain." ”

Today I heard another interesting thing. My little nephew ran home from school and said to his mother, "Mom, Mom, the teacher praised me today!" ”

When his mother heard this, she wondered, he was usually criticized! I asked him, "What did the teacher praise you today?" ”

My little nephew grinned: "The teacher said, among all the students who were punished for standing today, I stood the straightest!" ”

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, you talk again in class, go to the outside of the classroom and stand outside!" ”

Xiao Ming was at the same table: "Teacher, can I also go out and stand with Xiaoqiang?" ”

Teacher: "You didn't speak, why did you punish the station?" ”

Xiao Ming was at the same table: "He hasn't finished the joke yet!" ”

The son asked his father, "Dad, why don't I have any brothers and sisters?" ”

After hearing this, my father, who was reading the newspaper, became angry and roared, "Who told you not to go to bed early?" ”

The robbers succeeded in hijacking an escort vehicle. After going back, a new robber said, "Boss, let's count how much money we robbed, and the boss said:

You stupid! When will you have to count so much, won't you know when you watch the news tonight? "News:

Today, there was an incident of robbers hijacking college entrance examination papers.

One day a friend took the bus, crowded to death, I don't know who put a fart, just started to check the ticket, the friend had an idea and said: "The fart cow buys a ticket", and after a while, a fat sister hurriedly said: "I bought a ticket".

One day a rabbit unfortunately fell into a box and turned into a duck when it came out, do you know what the reason is? Because there's a transformer in the box...

12 apples are divided equally among 13 children, how to divide them? Answer: "Strangled 1".

Game ID One is called "hoe he" and the other is called "noon" Come to a cute girl paper called "Sun".

It was snowing, and I went out to see an uncle fall.

I went over and asked, "Uncle, my monthly salary is less than 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" ”

Uncle: "Young man, you go, I'll wait a while."

I was so moved that I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there."

The uncle also said excitedly: "You young man. It's quite real, don't leave me to be a witness, and buy you a car to go to work and drive ...... when you're done”

Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy.

1. Funny**: Are you trying to me off, and then do you remember your teacher's status?

I smoked on the balcony, I smoked half of the wind, and I didn't bother with the wind, and maybe the wind was troubled, and then I thought about it, and the more I thought about it, the more angry I became, why did the wind smoke me, so I started to smoke the wind.

A woman took a counterfeit bill to buy breakfast, and the vendor was annoyed and said very seriously

Eldest sister, you can give a fake banknote, at least it is printed, your banknote is actually painted!

Even if you take 10,000 steps back, you can draw a ten-dollar or five-dollar one, right? You gave the painting back seven pieces!

Seven pieces are seven pieces, not to mention, at least you have to draw color, you actually use a pencil to draw!

Forget it, I'll put up with it! Black and white is black and white! You can't draw with hand-paper! The feel is too bad.

Even if it's a piece of paper, I admit it! But you also have to use scissors to cut the edges, this one is torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated.

Okay, I don't want to talk about the raw edges, but you can also tear a rectangular shape! This triangle is too much to say!

This is the legendary counterfeit banknote!

A: "The dog is in a hurry and jumps strongly!" ”

B (quietly): "I knew you would jump off the wall".

New tortoise and hare race.

Since the rabbit lost to the tortoise, he was very angry, and once, he met the tortoise and asked to compete with him, and the tortoise agreed. The rabbit lost the first game, it turned out that he was too anxious and ran in the wrong direction, and by the time he came to the finish line, the turtle had already won, and the rabbit refused to admit defeat.

In the second game, the rabbit identified the direction, ran and ran, and when he was about to reach the end, he wanted to see the turtle in **, so he turned his head to look, he saw that the turtle was not there, and he was secretly happy in his heart, thinking: I won this time, how old is the turtle? By the time he turned around, the turtle was already on the finish line.

The rabbit was strange and asked the tortoise, "How did you win me?" The tortoise said to the hare

I've been biting your tail, and when you turn your head, you'll throw me here! The rabbit got angry: "No, no, no, the turtle cheats!"

In the last race, the rabbit was extra careful, for fear of being taken over by the turtle again. When the rabbit was about to reach the end, it looked like a turtle in front of it from a distance, but when it walked in, it was really a turtle. The rabbit threw in the towel.

It asked the tortoise, "Brother tortoise, I admit defeat, but you have to tell me how you won me?" The tortoise said to him:

Brother Rabbit, what age is it now, I came here by taxi! ”

1: Lao Wang went to the hospital: he injured a finger, stayed in the hospital for two days, saw three experts, used four plans, took five CT shots, did six laboratory tests, found seven acquaintances, spent more than 8,000 yuan, prescribed nine large packages of medicine, and took it to great ineffect.

2. On the night of his birthday, his wife allowed Lao Wang to watch the ball, Lao Wang was excited, hugged his wife and kissed him, Lao Wang's son saw it and wanted to kiss, Lao Wang said: "This is my wife, find your wife!" The son thought for a while and said, "This is my mother, go find your mother!" ”

3: Cupid said: "One arrow represents love at first sight, two arrows represent consensual thinking, and three arrows represent three lives of happiness." Sample, ten thousand arrows are fired together, I don't believe you can't become a hedgehog! ”

Confucius said: Fight with bricks!

Confucius said: Fight with bricks! It's messy! Shine on the head! Don't die, don't die!

The Buddha said: My Buddha is compassionate! A brick is dead and can be!

Confucius said: Fight with bricks, according to the face, should not be messy, since it cares, how can it be alone, there are friends together, not happy, not care.

It's about going to death, it's about being dead!

The Buddha said: !My Buddha is compassionate! With a knife, there is less pain, and it is compassion to alleviate suffering!

Confucius said: Fight with bricks, according to the face, should not be messy, since it cares, how can it be alone, there are friends together, not happy, not care.

Cry out to the dead! Heroes too!

Confucius said: Fight with bricks, according to the face, not chaotic. Since it cares, it can be alone, with friends, hard work, and happiness. At.

Don't care anymore, don't care about death, pull down to death! Do you know, don't know? It's clear, it's not clear, it's not clear that it's already a face to take a brick photo! It's clear.

Confucius said: Fighting is done with bricks, not chaotic, according to the face, scream fiercely, can't breathe again, the right hand is finished with the left hand, and the bricks are broken with shoes.

Hu Zedong said: With atoms, it doesn't hurt, and there is no feeling at all!

The Buddha said: My Buddha is compassionate, less painful, and early to Bliss!

Don't be crazy with me! Easy to die! Don't pretend to me! Easy to get hurt! No one beats you in the group! You can't go it alone! I'll beat you up as Zhang Haidi! Heavy.

I'll mummify you! Give you some face! Beat you so that you can't take care of yourself. Don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother is Qin Shi Huang, don't pretend to me, my backstage is ***, I'm not afraid that you won't be convinced, bin Laden is my uncle. Bomb first, then poison, and the old beauty will have to be convinced!

Have the habit of reading in the morning. Today is no exception, at more than 6 o'clock in the teaching building, suddenly came to feel, happy after the hair found that there was no paper, so I called friends to send paper to the toilet, just as I informed my friends of the location, the toilet partition was knocked, a weak voice said: "Classmates, let him send more OK, I have been waiting for a long time......."”

Back then, I punched the Nanshan Nursing Home, kicked the Beihai Kindergarten, and put it all under one meter, I stomped my feet in the morgue, and no one dared to gasp! "

Your title is so funny, hahaha, it's funny