What should I do about the psychology of children s wealth comparison

Researcher Sun Yunxiao, deputy director of the China Youth Research Center and an expert in the study of youth issues, believes that first of all, adults must realize that the comparison between children is normal and natural. For children who have been in a "backward" and "catch-up" position in the process of comparison, this kind of comparison behavior will definitely constitute psychological pressure, if there is no adult, mainly the guidance of teachers and parents, this pressure will erupt under the accumulation, and it is likely to produce excesses similar to Xiaoliang's behavior.

For a city like Shenzhen, foreign children may face a greater psychological gap. This requires parents and the local education system to provide some adaptive education for their children in a targeted manner. Parents should let their children have a correct understanding of the environment they will face in the future before they arrive in a new environment that is very different.

This includes awareness, acceptance, and control over one's own family's actual situation.

Sun Yunxiao suggested that schools should inculcate more "difference" consciousness in ordinary education. The core value of "Education for Sustainable Development" formulated this year is "respect". As educational institutions, schools should tell students that the difference between the rich and the poor is a reality in the current society, and that the rich and the poor themselves do not determine the high or low of people.

Respecting the differences and diversity of society and respecting every individual living in this world of differences and diversity should be the focus of young people's values education.

In addition, learn to be grateful, understand the hardships of parents' lives, and tell children that in addition to money, spiritual wealth such as love and personality are equally or even more precious, and should be imperceptibly instilled in them in their daily contact with them.

Poor children cannot look down on themselves.

Wang Jian, deputy director of the Mental Health Education Guidance Center for Primary and Secondary Schools in Shenzhen and professor of the Shenzhen Institute of Educational Sciences, believes that from a psychological point of view, poor children and rich children are likely to have a natural sense of "zoning" when they interact. For this estrangement, "inspirational" education should be emphasized for poor children, so that they know that they have equal opportunities with rich children on the future development platform. For rich children, it is not feasible to adopt a one-sided way of forced personalized consumption, allowing children to show their desire to individuality, but luxury and waste should be strictly eliminated.

He said that more than half of the children from outside the school in Shenzhen are currently in school, and the current training of teachers has also strengthened teachers' concern for material differences. For example, teachers are consciously required to treat the children of temporary residents equally in their attitudes. At the same time, guide children to shift their attention to personal interests and the cultivation of personal abilities.

In terms of correcting the psychology of comparison of children, the school can complete the harmonious coexistence of poor children and rich children by adding more extracurricular psychological courses. For example, the school allows poor children and rich children to sit together, provides them with an opportunity to sit down and exchange their ideas, and arranges for professional psychology teachers to guide them. Parents and teachers can guide their children first and conduct professional counseling in the school's psychological institutions, and professional teachers can give further suggestions according to the actual situation.

An excellent child is often inseparable from a good family education, but the growth process of each child is not smooth sailing, which will go through many twists and turns, and finally can go to maturity.

The child's age is young and there is no correct concept of right and wrong, so it will develop some bad psychology and habits, especially when the child enters school, it will be easy to form a comparison mentality.

As a parent, how should you educate your child about this kind of overly comparative?

1.Parents set a good example.

Parents are the first teachers of children, parents in daily life every word and deed will have a great impact on children, some parents usually have a strong sense of comparison, children do not have the correct concept of right and wrong, so they will follow the imitation of parents, over time will develop a bad habit of love comparison. Therefore, parents should set a good example for their children, start from themselves, learn to be diligent and thrifty, and only parents can take the lead for their children by setting a good example.

2.Not too spoiled.

Nowadays, many families are only children, so parents will try their best to meet the requirements of their children, which will cause children to be too strong to compare, so it is recommended that parents do not spoil their children too much, and learn to rationally educate their children Zheng Youzi, in fact, less doting on children will grow up well.

3.Change the direction of the comparison.

Children with the psychology of comparison actually have a strong sense of competition, so parents can use the psychology of children who like to compare to change the direction of children's comparison, such as encouraging children to compare with others in learning and behavioral habits, so that children can form a correct sense of comparison, which can naturally reduce the demand for materials.

4.Let children understand that money is hard to come by.

Parents can create some opportunities for their children, so that children can experience how hard their parents' work is, how hard money is, especially children with a strong sense of comparison should visit their parents' working environment more, and through this way of education, children can also correct their strong sense of comparison.

5.Find out why your child compares.

Every child is simple and kind, when the child has the psychology of comparison, the first thing parents do is not to scold and blame, but should fully understand the reasons for children's comparison, some children are because of inferiority, some children want to attract the attention of parents, starting from the reason for comparison in order to fundamentally solve the child's comparison psychology.

1. Parents set an example and reflect in time.

When children have a comparison mentality, parents should first examine whether they have invisibly set a bad example. Maybe you will say that I never compare cars with others, scatter and destroy houses, compare salaries, so have you compared your husband with others, compared with your children, and compared with your mother-in-law? Don't think that material comparison is called comparison, comparison is comparison with high level, covering all aspects.

In front of children, it may involve more comparison with other people's children. For example, your child happily tells you that I scored 95 points in this exam, but you ask him what the highest score is. If he happens to be the highest scorer, everyone will be happy.

But if someone else happens to be taller than him, and you think he needs to work harder, he will feel very frustrated.

2. Pay attention to creating a good family environment.

With the growth of "the influence of the social climate" and "self-awareness", various emotions obviously have "intentionality", this problem mainly relies on education and guidance, first of all, parents should be mentally prepared, pay attention to demonstration education, imperceptibly, pay attention to guidance, so that children's emotions develop in a positive and healthy direction, without the interference of comparison emotions. Secondly, children's comparison is largely influenced by parents.

3. Guide children to study hard.

The main task of children in school is to learn, which is the most internal and core task, and whoever learns well will have high prestige and win. We should naturally guide our children to learn more than they learn, and should not be deceived by superficial aspects. It should be pointed out that comparing with each other is a vulgar trend in society and a manifestation of no interest, and the normal atmosphere should be to study hard, be uplifted, and keep up with outstanding students, and guide children to focus on learning.

4. Understand first and then persuade education.

Students' vocation is to study, students go to school to seek knowledge, school is not anyone's show, not a place to eat and wear more money than anyone has money. However, don't criticize your child, and don't directly say that your child is not right to compare like this, and make sure your child understands him.

You have to affirm the fact that the child has grown up and praise the child: "Baby, mom (dad) wants to congratulate you, congratulations on growing up!" Because you already know that you love beauty, you have your own aesthetics!

Moreover, mom (dad) understands you very well, after all, everyone has a love for beauty! You are no exception. ”

However, we also have to tell our children: you don't need to feel inferior to others, inferior, because everything they have is only given to them by their parents, they have nothing to be proud of, as long as you dress neatly, simply and generously, sit upright, study hard, and you can hold your head high. You are who you are, unique!

How to educate children not to compare and feel inferior? We should empathize with our children, let them feel that our parents understand them and care about them, and then we will guide them step by step to develop in a positive and healthy direction.

Teach by example, the best role models for children and young people and understand the goal is Mom and Dad. If you want to encourage your child to have a correct outlook on life, first of all, parents must teach their children by example and use their own personal behavior album to raise the child's reputation. For example, from some things in life, if you take a baby on the bus, if you see an elderly person who does not have a seat, and actively stand up and hand over the seat to the elderly, this kind of child will see it in his eyes, and then when he encounters such a thing, the child will follow the personal behavior of his parents.

Children can learn to help others.

According to the child's favorite characters, for example, observing the child's favorite star or favorite story or character in the game, Mom and Dad can understand and educate the child according to the child's favorite character stories, and let the child learn and train his spiritual essence and values from the person he loves, the child will have the overall goal of diligence and will be more willing to work in these directions.

Giving children responsibility, sometimes taking responsibility is one of the right attitudes in life. For example, if the child makes a mistake in his daily life, parents should not protect the child, because you will make the baby learn to shirk responsibility. Let the child learn to take responsibility, because only then can the child learn to take responsibility for his own personal behavior.

I don't think it's a matter of school for parents to educate their children. Because, for the first time, the children learned from their parents. Mom and dad and the danger to the child is crucial. If you want your child to be excellent, you have to be a good role model.

I have to admit that in today's society, in everyday life, in the workplace, there will be"Communication"Soul winning is very popular with everyone. People with high emotional intelligence, can speak, generally, no matter where they are, they can be valued by others in different places, especially in the place where they are working in Sakura, they can relax easily, they can form a team and communicate with customers, and most importantly, they can speak in a state!

Parents don't buy brands when buying things for their children, parents don't love the rich in front of their children, parents don't tell their children about their family situation, they should tell their children that this kind of comparison psychology is not right, and it has nothing to do with whether or not there is money.

Divert children's attention and induce children to compare in other ways, so that they can clearly understand themselves and enhance their psychological construction.

Children will have this kind of psychology, usually the surrounding people of the silver god peers gave him this feeling, I personally think that more attention should be paid to the child's emotional changes, but also to let the child understand the hardships of parents to make money, only to fight the old so that they understand the first loss of life is not easy, they will not distort their mentality.