My father s problem, how to solve it

Do you want to go to graduate school or go to work in other places, hehe, I think to solve your problem from two aspects: the first is your own problem, think about why you don't want to go to the field? Because in most people's eyes, the farther you go, the more promising it may be.

As for the graduate school entrance examination, if you can't study anymore, I don't think it's really necessary to take the exam, it's a waste of time, and the result is not ideal. You tell your father, even if you are admitted to graduate school, what can you do, after three years of graduate school, you are still a fledgling, and your college classmates are basically mixed very well, just like you are now in college, what is the use (including me), now it is difficult to find a job, many friends who do not go to college have mixed very well, and we have spent four more years in college, and it is not empty-handed to come out? You have to reason with your dad about these things, you have to talk about it carefully, the family wants us to climb as high as possible, but there are many roads.

You can tell your father that you don't want to go to graduate school (tell him the reason for not going to graduate school), and you don't want to work in other places, I want to find a stable job first, and prepare to take the civil service or public institution examination (I think this is a very good way, you have to go to school if you are admitted to graduate school, and if you are admitted to these, you will eat the imperial grain, which is better and which is bad, I believe your father understands), I don't want to go to other places, because it is easy to be distracted if you are not familiar with life, I know that you are for my good, but I am so old, I also have my own ideas, I hope you will give me some space and I will not let you down ...

I think it's OK, hehe.

Of course, your family does this for your own good, but your own future is still up to you, and no one else can replace it, so communicate all your thoughts to your family.

Psychoanalysis:! I am the ancient road west wind skinny donkey.

It is suggested that the subject can try to think about how we get along with people who meet people in life and work who give us a feeling of "bar essence", this kind of person, maybe some of them have a more square personality, what to think of and say, and some may simply want to prove that they are different from you and that they are special. The subject feels that the father has many shortcomings, but the subject also feels that the father in front of outsiders is diligent, and the subject feels that the father does not take the initiative to do housework. Some people are not naturally good at doing chores, so I am not good at tidying up the housework, so I don't usually do much; But the parents' generation may also be cognitive, that is, the male protagonist is outside the female protagonist, so he usually does not like to do housework at home.

It is recommended that the subject feel what kind of father his father belongs to. It is difficult to change a person's established personality, and it is recommended that the subject can usually pay attention to what the content of his father and his "bar" is related to. See if you need to change the way you get along with your dad.

1.Dad's "bar essence" attributes,Whether it affects his social interaction,Is whether he can work normally in the environment outside of you and your mother,If you can suggest that the subject doesn't have to worry too much,He may just be like this to you,Many of us will get along with outsiders,But we can't learn to get along with relatives,Maybe it's to give your family the worst side。 2.

Try to discover the strengths of your father, usually express affirmation, let your father feel that he is noticed and admired, few fathers hope that their image in the eyes of their children is bad, and they all hope that they are the children's role models and learning objects, which helps to ease the relationship with their father. 3.If Dad's point of view is really valuable, whether he can seek common ground while reserving differences, and appropriately express affirmation, so that Dad can feel his prestige as a father.

After all, everyone is independent because they have an independent spirit and thought. If you really feel that there is no value for the sake of leverage, then can you objectively uphold my right to respect your right to speak, and forget it. Many times when we get along with our loved ones, small differences will evolve into big quarrels, and more emotional factors.

4.There may be many reasons for the quarrel between Mom and Dad, which may be one of the triggers, and it is recommended that the subject look at it objectively and rationally. In dealing with these issues, it may depend more on the tolerance of both sides, and if you can't rub sand in your eyes, you will see that nothing is right.

5.It is suggested that the subject can change his mindset and get along with his father. In fact, if you move the way you treat the company's veteran colleagues to your family, you may have a higher happiness index, and you may stay away from nitpicking colleagues; It may be that I disagree with you, but I respect your right to speak.

But it's rare to quarrel over a little unimportant difference of opinion! 6.Avoid being influenced by "PUA", we know that the other party's point of view is problematic, no matter what we say, but we must insist on our own correctness in our hearts, so that we will not let ourselves deviate.

In my humble opinion, for reference!

Hello subject! After carefully reading your problem description, there are indeed many helpless and helpless places in the family of origin, but at present, it is more important to find out the reasons and countermeasures.

I try to help you analyze and suggest the following:

Meet the "Gong Jing"].

In real life, people who always like to work against you, like to lift the bar, and like to pick thorns are called "bar spirits".

Exists in a variety of social relationships, including the family of origin.

This is consistent with the subject's description of "he is very good at PUA", "he will deliberately stand on the opposite side of you", "he will not admit his mistakes, and then he will accuse you of being emotional and sick, etc., or he will start to be passively aggressive".

Understood from motivation].

But the subject must also realize psychologically: the father's heart is actually very fragile and inferior.

His presence in reality is very low and is not taken seriously.

This is also the true reason for the judgment that "his diligent side has come out in front of outsiders", rather than "I feel that he is very hypocritical" as the subject thinks.

In fact, his heart is very eager to receive praise, recognition and attention from the outside world, including his family.

So the father can only vent his inner dissatisfaction by raising the bar.

His motivation is to express his desire to be cared for by the outside world in order to gain attention.

Advice to the subject].

It is suggested that the subject, as a junior, should first adjust his cognition from the above analysis;

Secondly, always stabilize your emotions. At any time, don't let your father's bad mood affect your original mood. It is also necessary to avoid their irrational behavior;

Try to communicate with your father again, find a good time and occasion, talk to your father well, talk about your feelings, and talk about what is worthy of affirmation and praise together;

Finally, under the relative grasp of the subject, help the father take appropriate psychological assistance, such as one-on-one psychological counseling in Pingduyu Fengtai, etc., to fundamentally solve the problem.

Hope it helps you a little.

I have some suggestions for dealing with family relationships:

1. Be humble, don't be a needle to each other about everything, give each other more opportunities to talk, think more about each other, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and family affection is priceless.

2. A surprise creates a dramatic effect, and often many contradictions are lost in jokes.

3. Divide responsibilities, assume your own responsibilities and obligations, do more for the family, and think less for yourself.

4. Dualized communication, many conflicts are due to the lack of communication between family members, which exacerbates the conflicts.

5. Be open-minded, life is short, we should create a harmonious society and a harmonious family, think about everything, don't worry about everything, don't intrigue, don't be greedy, be open-minded, and be grateful to live a relaxed and happy life.

In a word, don't give up easily!!

1. Express admiration for the filial piety of the landlord.

2. Under the current circumstances, it can be negotiated again to pay maintenance expenses in a fixed manner. If there is no agreement, ignore it.

3. Family affection is mutual, if one party only knows how to ask and does not know how to reciprocate, the relationship will not last long. In addition, the relationship between the husband and wife should be considered so as not to affect family life.

4. Even if the father sues for payment, the four siblings must be listed as defendants and jointly bear the obligation of support, which is not jointly and severally liable, and the landlord has no obligation to bear the responsibility of support for the other three. Even if a lawsuit is filed, whether the father has the right to receive financial support depends on whether he has no or little income and is living in difficulty. The obligation to maintain is not the same as a monetary obligation.

The relationship between a father and a son is the closest one.

If you want to deal with the father-son relationship well, the most important thing is that both people should be able to understand each other and tolerate each other. After all, blood is thicker than water, and all fathers want their children to be well, and in essence, both people have common goals and desires. Since two people have the same desire, how can they not get along well?

Just be a little more understanding and tolerant.

Respect for fathers, and communication skills.

First of all, I wish you success in your studies. Now let's talk about your dad, it's not that he likes to brag, your success is his pride. How many parents don't want their children to get ahead?

So far, to borrow your words, his life has been a failure. The only success is to have such a wonderful daughter as you. How could he not be proud?

This shows that you have a lot of weight in his mind. You said that Dad is a high school student, he is a cultural person, and he may have a kind of loneliness at the wrong time, so he will often use wine to drown his sorrows. You're also older, you can sit down and communicate with him calmly.

Take a look at his interests in life, what his skills are, give him a social positioning, so that he can give full play to his strengths. He doesn't want to be motivated, I think he just feels that he is useless in this society. is also content with the status quo and messing around.

You know that you feel sorry for your mother and love your brother, you are so good. Sensible and ambitious, there are too few of your peers like you right now. The ideological education of the little brother should be harder, you must grasp it, and don't go astray.

The children of the poor are in charge of the family at an early age", the economic conditions of the family are not good, and it is not a good thing to be unpaid. In this way, he can exercise his independence, self-confidence and self-improvement. If it weren't for the fact that your home life requires you to put in more effort than ordinary people to change, you may not be where you are today.

What about you? Talk to your family. Complaining doesn't solve the problem.

Give everyone some time, the transformation doesn't happen overnight. Take your time. Anyway, you still have a whole home.

I wish you all happiness and happiness.

This close friend, your father has suffered from the sequelae of a brain operation, and if you don't use drugs to control your temper, he will be very irritable", which shows that your father is a sick personality. He reacts pathologically to how you "abuse". So don't worry about your father, it's really not necessary to have a person who is your father and has a serious mental illness.

You also have to swallow your anger, you can't afford to hide, for the sake of his love for raising you, don't go head-to-head with your father. In the end, you still need to treat your father well and give your father warmth and affection.