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In today's society, this kind of people who are afraid of marriage are called "marriage-phobic". Why are they afraid to get married?
Marriage refers to the union of a man and a woman, the formation of a family by mutual consent, the social union or legal binding of kinship between people. There are many forms of marriage depending on the concept and culture, but the marriage is declared in a ceremony that is recognized by the surrounding public. Marriage is a legal contract for two people to live together.
People don't want to enter into this legal contract too early, because they don't want to be tied down too early, and they are afraid that they won't be able to get out of this stable relationship. Marriage is guaranteed by law, once you want to terminate the marriage, you must go through a formal legal way, and marriage is the marriage of two people, and divorce is the separation of a family, so the people who are afraid of marriage are always afraid and firmly believe in a sentence: "Marriage is a besieged city, people outside want to rush in, people inside want to rush out."
Rushing in is sometimes easy, but it's not so easy when you want to escape. This means that if you choose a marriage partner, it will be difficult for you to completely walk away from each other's lives in the rest of your life, whether you are together or not.
1. Hesitation about the marriage partner.
When you choose to get married, you take marriage very seriously, and you think that you must go on with the person who can stay with you in this life, so when choosing a partner, you will definitely fully consider and weigh the pros and cons, and the requirements for the marriage partner are too perfect to cause you to be unable to choose, and eventually lead to your fear of marriage, because you are afraid that your choice is wrong, causing huge risks.
2. Fear of being bound by marriage.
You are afraid of losing absolute autonomy, two people need to compromise with each other together, you are not willing to compromise too much, lose yourself, I like independence, I am afraid of being disciplined, you think that marriage is the shortness of the family, firewood, rice, oil and salt, you don't want to live around these, you feel that marriage restricts your life.
3. Fear of marriage failure.
Survey studies show that two-thirds of marriage-phobic people are afraid of marriage because they are afraid of divorce, divorce is too hard for them, they would rather not get married, this fear of facing the anxiety of failure, fear of betrayal, rejection and a series of emotional crises, this may be because they have experienced the divorce crisis of their loved ones, so they are worried that the tragedy will happen to themselves.
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Because many people feel that after getting married, they will not be free, or even have the feeling of being in love before. They feel that after getting married, they have to revolve around some trivial things every day, and it will be very difficult to interrupt or even get along with each other.
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The appearance of marital phobia is mainly due to a lack of confidence in married life, while others are due to a lack of confidence in themselves, when they are about to get married, they will feel an invisible pressure, as well as a fear of married life, and they must face their emotions in order to improve the symptoms of marital phobia. Be open-minded when there are persistent doubts and fears about marriage.
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Marriage phobia is because some people are afraid of taking responsibility after marriage, and he just lacks a sense of responsibility, modern people lack patience and like to go straight to the point in everything, and marriage is not serious, which will cause marriage phobia. In fact, the psychology of people who form this disease is very complicated, because they want to get married but are afraid of getting married, but they can adjust slowly. I hope these help you.
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What is Marriage? People of the older generation may feel that marriage is a necessity in life, something that must be done at a certain age. But for today's young people, marriage is the icing on the cake of a good life, not a send-off.
Therefore, we must choose a person who suits us, and it depends on what married life can bring to ourselves, if we just let us blindly accommodate others, then most women will choose not to get married, especially women who have the ability and financial freedom.
Just like many girls around me say, I live a good life alone now, I can cook a meal I like to eat if I want to cook, and if I don't want to cook, I can order takeout or go out to eat, I don't have to think about what others want to eat, and I don't have to wronged myself.
As for housework, you can do it whenever you want, anyway, it's for yourself, and you don't need to be unwilling and unhappy.
Think about it, it is true, this kind of life is enviable, especially many women who are married, and they will regret why they want to give up their original leisurely life and let themselves fall into endless firewood, rice, oil and salt and cannot get out.
However, I also want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with getting married or not getting married, you don't need to envy anyone, but don't be too remorseful, because every decision you make at the moment must be the most suitable for you, too lazy to get married because you haven't met the right person, because there is no one who makes you feel that your life after marriage will be better than now, and choosing to get married is also because you have met this person, which makes you feel that you can change your life.
As for the unhappiness after marriage, I admit that they all exist, but think about the happiness you have, is it also worth it? But if you really feel that getting married makes you unbearable, then I also support you to stop losses in time, as a woman in the new era, making yourself happy is always the top priority in life.
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Fear of marriage, also known as fear of marriage, refers to the feeling of confusion and fear of the future marriage of one of the couples who are about to get married. So why do people fear marriage? Shouldn't marriage be nice and happy? Let's analyze why people are afraid of marriage.
1. Why do people fear marriage?
1. Fear of intimacy.
Fear of intimacy can also be called detachment from the group. This kind of person generally lived in an indifferent family when he was a child, and the dialogue between family members was almost zero, which led to the character of this type of person has a very strong need for loneliness and privacy, and when getting along with people, as long as they are a little intimate, they will be very afraid and panicked, afraid of losing their only freedom.
2. Fear of losing love.
There is such a group of people, fundamentally, they yearn for intimacy and love, which is what they seek all their lives. You can give up everything because of a sentence I love you, but on the other hand, they are just enjoying the vigor of love, and they can't stand the test of time, and once they calm down, they will choose to break up, and marriage will become a constraint for them.
3. Parental influence.
There is nothing wrong with saying that the best education for a child is that of his parents. The impact of a failed marriage on a child's child is enormous. When I was a child, I saw my parents fighting and arguing for a long time, and I began to be full of disgust for such a family, which led to the child's reluctance to contact with the opposite sex, and did not learn how to get along with the opposite sex.
The most serious is domestic violence, which is extremely harmful to women, and often makes them stop believing in men as creatures.
4. Evading responsibility.
4. Evading responsibility.
Marriage is not child's play, and once you get married, you have to bear the pressure of the family, which is also the responsibility of men. Some men want to end their free life through marriage, let their lover make decisions, and thus dump the pot on each other, do not want to face the pressure and responsibility given by married life, are afraid to take responsibility, and want to escape.
5. The impact of the previous marriage.
If you have been divorced, your last marriage may affect your choice of spouse for the rest of your life. The impact of a failed marriage is very strong, and this influence is a subconscious effect, and you are afraid that the next marriage will repeat the same mistakes, and you are afraid that you will be hurt or abandoned again.
Sixth, the child's problem.
Some newlyweds, one party longs for children, and the other does not want to have children, such a union will only be the intensification of contradictions, and marriage with such contradictions will not be happy, and they are afraid of marriage: "I may have it all my life."
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Many marriage-phobic people are not actually afraid of marriage, they are actually afraid of entering the marriage hall. They have expectations for love and hope for a stable environment, but they are resistant to marriage and are afraid to live together!
This fear will have a great impact on young men and women in society, it is easy to disrupt the rhythm of our lives, marriage is not like love, it is not a simple relationship between two people, it is often the reorganization and cooperation of resources between two families. Once the two reach the point of talking about marriage, but there is a fear of marriage, this is to make the two families passive, and the whole rhythm will be disrupted. So why do some people also crave love, but they are afraid as soon as they get married?
Regarding the reasons for fear of marriage, it can be summed up as psychological shadows, economic pressure and other reasons. From the perspective of psychological shadows, many people's fear of marriage is brought from childhood, when they were children, their parents' unhappy marriages left a deep impression on them, so they worried that they might not be able to achieve happiness, that is, "I didn't see successful cases, and I didn't want to make my life unrecognizable because of marriage." ”
Some people are afraid of marriage because of a crisis of trust, which is not due to their parents, but their own personal experience. was hurt by the opposite sex in the process of falling in love, and since then he has been secretive about marriage. This kind of crisis of trust tends to form a mindset, and the more you think about it, the more you will feel fearful.
Some people have encountered scumbags too many times, and then they were bitten by snakes once, and they were afraid of the well rope for ten years.
In fact, Xu Xiangxian was scared off by his own imagination. If you are imagining how difficult it is to do anything, why do you need to get married? All in all, economic pressure is one thing, and more I am worried that there is too little time and space for my own development after marriage, which is a subconscious self-protection of self-repetition.
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Seeing that there are more unfortunate marriages, Lu Nian is afraid of being like them, so he doesn't dare to get married, in fact, even if girls don't want to get married, they can try to get along with the boys they like, and to a certain extent, they may not be afraid of marriage.
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There are some people who are afraid of getting married, and there can be a variety of reasons. Here are some possible factors:
1.Family environment during adolescence: Growing up in an unhappy family can affect a person's perception of marriage, leading to fears about marriage. For example, quarrels between parents, divorce, domestic violence, have a negative impact on marriage.
2.Different views on love: Different people have different views on love and marriage.
Some may see marriage as an oppression and bondage, while others see it as a safe and happy one. This different view of love and marriage can lead some people to fear marriage.
3.Independence and self-worth: People who seek personal freedom and independence may fear that marriage will limit themselves. Marriage can mean the loss of independence and certain freedoms, which can be contrary to their values.
4.Experienced a marital crisis: A person who has experienced a marital crisis may be afraid of being in the same predicament again.
If they have ever been hurt or cheated on in a marriage, then they may have a fear of marriage, especially considering the psychological and financial consequences of experiencing a failed marriage again.
5.Mistrust of Responsibility and Ability: Some people may not believe in their ability to take on all the responsibilities required for marriage.
Marriage needs to be run and maintained, and there are many factors to consider, such as finances, career, personal goals, and family, to name a few. Fears of these responsibilities and challenges can lead to fears about getting married.
In general, the reasons for fear of marriage are different for each person, and this needs to be analyzed and addressed specifically for each person's situation and background.
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"Marital phobia" is a long-term, abnormal, and unrealistic fear of marriage or intimacy.
As for why there is a fear of marriage, there are the following psychological reasons:
1) Trauma in childhood.
Every kind of constant intimidation can be found in the final analysis, in the past, in childhood.
It is generally believed in modern science that fear of a thing can be traced back to external trauma and internal heredity.
The reason why marriage-phobes are full of fear of marriage is probably because most of them have been hurt by their parents and family in childhood, and they are extremely unconfident in marriage and do not believe in love.
Marriage-phobic people often say that they are emotionally traumatized or have the shadow of their parents' marriage breaking down.
Therefore, many people are afraid that they will have the same experience as their original family in marriage. Therefore, the fear of contact with the opposite sex and the fear of establishing intimate relationships is actually a manifestation of insecurity and fear of abandonment.
2) Don't dare to face responsibility.
Many people have been single for a long time, feel free, do not get married, have no children, and have no constraints.
In fact, it's not that they really hate marriage, it's just that there are too many unknown variables hidden in marriage, which they really can't accept and passively change.
What's more, it's easy to fall in love and difficult to get married, there are no economic conditions, few people dare to get married, the pressure is too great, it's too scary.
In the traditional ideology of the Chinese people, marriage is to perpetuate hope and pass on the lineage. There are only melons and seeds, and there are no children and melons, and the overwhelming response to married life has discouraged many people.
All of this is really just two words: "escape".
People who dare not get married because they are afraid or avoid it have also become part of the army of marriage-phobia, simply because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.
In the end, they may not be able to withstand the strong demands of their relatives and find someone to marry hastily, but most of those marriages end in unhappiness.
3) Fear that there is no love in the marriage.
Would you choose a relationshipless marriage?
I'm sure many people's answer is no!
A marriage without love is even hard to speak, and getting along without feelings is a dream along with a bed.
It is always said that marriage is the grave of love. This quote also serves as a reason for an ideal lover to refuse to marry in pursuit of true love.
How easy it is to fall in love! The happiness of the two people is pure and beautiful, not mixed with all kinds of trivial things in life, and it does not involve the details between the two families. It's just that two people have come together because of feelings and hormones.
But this is not a fear of marriage, it is a fear of growing up.
Introversion should be the root of social phobia, because introverted, not good at expression, not good at socializing with people, so often have an inferiority complex, and more and more serious, and finally develop into social phobia, extroverted people will not develop social phobia.
It is because the change of mentality and the change of living habits make many people feel tired, and marriage needs to consider the various affairs of two people's lives and the family members of both parties, and need to pay more time and energy to bear family responsibilities.
It's definitely not reliable, there is a lot of risk in online dating, you don't know the true face of the other party, you don't know the other party's temper and character, you don't know if what he does is a trap for you, and you don't even know if the other party is your friend of the opposite sex. Online dating is like a game, the name and gender of the protagonist in the game can be changed arbitrarily, today is a gentle and lovely lady, maybe tomorrow it will become a man with masculine beauty, it is not uncommon for netizens to meet and finally find that the two are of the same sex. Such embarrassment is still good, if a married person messes with extramarital affairs on the Internet, it can only lead to the breakdown of a perfect marriage in the end.
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