It s a hot day, tell a joke to relieve everyone s stress

I have a friend who does a micro-business, but he quit working for more than a month, earning 380,000 yuan, and now he is idle at home. I asked him how he made the money, and he said that he was selling fakes, and his leg was broken, and the insurance company paid .........

Today, I accidentally broke the Moutai wine that my husband had treasured for five years. Husband: Look what else you can do!

Five years, I've been collecting it for five years, and you've broken it like this! Wife: It's only been five years, and the things I have treasured for more than 20 years have also been pierced by you, and my mother didn't say anything!

I also cooperated with you to call a few ......

My cousin and I are classmates, and today's class reunion lasted until midnight, and sending my cousin home naturally became my obligatory task. When I got downstairs to her house, I joked to her sitting in the passenger seat: Come up with you, wake up my cousin and blow two more bottles!

She turned her head and whispered in my ear: Your cousin didn't come back from a business trip, I'm home alone, why don't you change the day? Me:

Good! Then I won't send you up......After saying that, he turned the head of the car and galloped away ......

It's crooked again. Once upon a time there was a soldier and a nun playing golf on the golf course, and the soldier hit a ball and it was crooked, and the soldier said, "Fuck it's crooked." ”

The nun hurriedly said, "Don't swear, God will punish you." ”

The soldier hit another ball, hit it crooked, and said, "Fuck it crooked again." ”

The nun said, "Don't swear, God will punish you." ”

At this time, the clouds and mist in the sky made up, and a bolt of lightning killed the nun. The soldier is strange. I swear, why didn't God beat me to death, but beat the nun to death?

At this time, a phrase came from the sky: "Fucking crooked again." "Thank you.

Dentist John always talks to his patients for a while before they operate to relieve their tension as much as possible. On one occasion he had a few words with a patient who was a police officer and asked him if he had any problems. "I only have one question," the policeman said uneasily, "I never gave you a fine, did I?" Share.

Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is a small fire and a slow boil, and marriage is a big fire.

Yesterday's wine bureau, Xiao Liu couldn't drink enough, let him drink or not, and finally said that he would just tell you a cold joke. Everyone said it would work. "It is said that it is a blue sea and blue sky, a silver beach, and an ant passes over the beach, but the traces left behind are a line, why? ”

There are different opinions, some say that this ant only has one leg, and some say that this ant is male and has profound skills. were all denied by Xiao Liu one by one. Xiao Liu said: This ant rode a bicycle over. Everyone was frozen in no time!

Then Xiao Liu said: blue sea and blue sky, silver beach, the little rabbit ran home from the beach to play enough, thirsty, ready to rush to the refrigerator and take out a can of carrot juice to drink, but before opening the refrigerator door, it knew that there were ants inside, so it was very angry, why?

Everyone didn't know, but an uncle said that it must be a refrigerator from Siemens, and the door is transparent. was ruined by everyone. Xiao Liu said: The ant's bicycle is parked at the door of the refrigerator! Everyone is frozen again!

This idea was proposed by Lao Yang, and Lao Yang usually does not smile. Everyone can do it if they want to, and in the end, you may drink too much.

And then everyone who doesn't want to drink tells jokes. Among them, Xiao Liu is the funniest, he tells jokes with both hands and feet, and everyone laughs so much that their stomachs hurt. Then Lao Yang said I'll talk about one, I need someone to cooperate, Xiao Liu, it's you.

Cat cat just said that there were enough ten, Lao Yang quickly asked: What are mice most afraid of?! Xiao Liu said:

Cat At this time, Lao Yang was like the arrogance of the evil characters in the costume martial arts drama after absorbing the skills of others for five hundred years, haha laughing: Mice are most afraid of cats?! Everyone was stunned, and then Lao Yang sat down on the stool stupidly and said:

Oh, I said the opposite, my daughter made me talk about rats ten times. With a bang, the whole table was paralyzed by laughter. Xiao Liu said while spitting beer foam

Lao Yang, I will serve you alone in this life, this is the coldest cold joke I have ever heard, I will punish myself for a few glasses, you just have to say it.

One day, A asked B: How to find a public toilet? B: Find an Internet café, go on, enter the public toilet.

You say 1, I say 2, and then someone picks up and says 3......Will someone say 4?

If you come across a lump of shit in the middle of the road, you'll choose A: Eat a pound B: Hold tight.

1. Now I don't even want to go out with my dog, and this is a good time for me to make a fuss.

2. Hot weather is like a stove, with scorching air everywhere.

3. This kind of hot weather is too uncomfortable, and there needs to be a snowman to cool down to cool down the limbs.

4. The hot weather has given me something in common with the earth, we are all baking.

5. The sunlight has turned into a hearthstone, and I have already baked it.

6. If the weather is hotter, I guess I will turn into a piece of jelly.

7. This kind of hot weather feels like the hot weather in Iran, which is simply a nightmare.

8. How sad it is to have days without air conditioning, I have been back to back with an electric fan.

9. I want to summarize the hot weather of Mu Chen in one sentence, roast me to death.

10. When the scorching sun is in the sky, the grass calendar letter is baked, and no one loves it.

11. It's so hot that people can't breathe, and the only thing I want to do is sleep naked like a naked run.

12. The weather is hot because the sun is working too hard, and we should praise him.

13. When you go out by car, you can only choose to open the window, and as a result, you are grilled into barbecue.

14. Every time I think of desert loneliness, fortunately, there is air conditioning.

15. The hot weather made me speechless with the takeaway brother, and the food he sent in was hot, and it took an hour to cool down.

16. We should be glad that we are not ice cream, otherwise we would have been baked into the sun.

17. This kind of hot weather makes people feel like they are hiding behind the curtains, but if the network cable burns, it must be terrible.

18. It's so hot that even Land Rover has given up a c.

19. I've become a clingy little glue man now, do you dare to approach me?

20. The night is so hot, as long as you blow a breath of wind, it is like blowing dry or something.

I'll send you a few jokes.

1.After drinking too much, he went home and strayed into the pigsty, lay down next to the sow and said: Wife: Pour me a glass of water, the sow snorted, and the village chief said, if you don't pour it, you won't pour it, what kind of coquettishness. Touch it casually and say: buy a leather coat, or double-breasted

2.The elderly couple went to take a photo, and the photographer asked, "Would you rather meter, backlight, or full light?" The uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can I leave a pair of pants for your aunt?" "No matter how busy you are, you have to smile!

3.One day, a barber beat up a candy gourd seller, and went to the police station and asked the barber: Why did you beat the sugar gourd seller? The barber said, "I'm going to be blown up, I'm burning my hair in the house, and he's shouting "hot paste" outside!