The latest funny cold jokes, hilarious jokes and bad jokes

Today, I went to the toilet in a company and found a line written on the back of the door: The most irresponsible thing in the world is to supply paper every day, and then suddenly one day it is not provided.

One day, I dreamed that there was a neurotic man running after me, and he was holding a knife, and I came to a dead end, and I wanted to play, and then the neurotic stopped, and gave me the knife, and said, "Now it's your turn to chase me."

Once upon a time there was a mountain called Mount Kinabalu. There is a temple on the hill called the Temple. There is an old monk in the temple who is reciting a scripture, this scripture is called....Wish.

Robert Jr. asks his mother for two cents.

What did you do with the money you gave yesterday? ”

I gave it to a poor old woman," he said. "You're such a good boy," Mom said. "I'll give you two more cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? ”

She's a candy seller. ”

When I was in junior high school, a biology teacher was talking about the ecology of the African savannah, and no one in the class listened, and the teacher became angry and said, "Look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what an African wild cat looks like! ”

Why does a disgusting mother cry with nausea?

Died of 、、、 because of nausea

What is not spicy? Vampire (because his English pronunciation is "not spicy").

Why is the sea blue? Because the spit bubbles of the fish bule bule means blue.

After the company gets off work, several computers get together to fight the landlord, and the water dispenser also has to play. He loses every time, but still insists on participating every day. The sofa was very incomprehensible and asked the chair:

The water dispenser loses every day, why is it still so energetic? The chair said, "Ask this kind of question, do you have water in your head?"

Since ancient times, who has no, who has no paper for stool, if you don't use toilet paper, you are using your fingers.

I'll tell you a joke, I'm telling a joke.

Once upon a time there was a bun that walked and walked, and when it was hungry, it ate itself.

Cold joke refers to the joke itself because of boredom, homophonic words, translation, or omitting the subject, different logic, assertion or special content, or due to the performer's tone or expression, etc., resulting in a joke can not achieve the purpose of being funny, and it is difficult to make people laugh and become cold, but it does not mean that the joke itself is dull, which is also a manifestation of humor. In addition, a bad joke is a kind of joke, but it is very different, and the four main characteristics of a bad joke are that it is based on the Internet, thorough entertainment, the duality of its own value, and the post-emergence >

Check out 126 jokes, there are new jokes every day!

When I went to deposit money at noon, a beautiful woman asked me in the back when I was in line, "Is it to save money?" "Yes! "I'm just about to withdraw money, and if you want to save it anyway, it's better to give me the money, so you don't have to queue up." "I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money!

Military training center, instructors teach how to throw grenades. The instructor said: After the grenade is thrown, you must lie down immediately. Do you know what would happen if you didn't lie down? "The instructor will scold"! The students said in unison.

My sister is from Sichuan. So she's not afraid of spicy.

I have a bad joke here.

Xiaomei wrote her wish to grow up in the composition book:

1. I hope to have a lovely child;

Second, I also wish I had a husband who loves me.

As a result, it was found that the teacher had written a comment: "Please pay attention to the order of precedence. ”

One day he went to the plastic surgery hospital, and as soon as she pushed the door, the doctor laughed.

There was an alien who came to Earth, and he saw the pig's trotters and said to the boss who bought the pig's trotters: Legs, legs, legs! The owner told him that it wasn't a leg, it was a pig's trotter.

He saw the tomatoes again and said to the boss who bought the tomatoes: blood blood blood! The boss told him that it wasn't blood, it was tomatoes.

He came to the place where stationery was sold, and he saw a pencil sharpener in the shape of a truck, and he said to the boss: Truck, truck, truck! The boss told him that it wasn't a truck, it was a pencil sharpener.

When he came out into the street, he heard a man scolding a woman: an old witch. The woman scolds the man: the bastard.

When he crossed the street, he saw a man driving a truck and injured a woman, and he called the police: Hey? Is it the police? Here's a bastard driving a pencil sharpener and injuring an old witch! There were a lot of tomatoes flowing, and the pig's trotters flew a long way!

Q: Why can't my phone fall into the water?

A. Don't miss the opportunity!

Gold, wood, water, fire, earth, who has long legs, ham sausage.

Why are bad jokes so cold, because jokes are cold.

My brother couldn't quarrel with me, and when he found a computer, I thought he was going to do something. Him: Is my sister a big badass?

Computer: 444....He:

Is my sister a puppy? Computer: 444....

He spent an afternoon playing in the living room.

1.Today is the final exam, my sister scored 100 points, Xiaoxin only scored 50 points, my mother was very distressed, she said to Xiaoxin: "You see that my sister scored 100 points, and you only got 50 points."

Xiaoxin touched his head and said, "Mom, didn't you say that I only need to take half of my sister's exam?" Mom said suspiciously

Is there anything wrong with it? ”

2.Before falling asleep, Xiaoxin said to his mother, "Mom, give me the flashlight." "What are you doing with a flashlight while sleeping?" Mom asked. "It's not playing, it's night when I dream, I'm afraid I can't see. Xiaoxin replied.

3.Xiaoxin said: "Dad, if I take the first place in the class, what will happen to you?" Dad said, "Then I'm going to die of joy!" Xiaoxin said: "Dad, don't worry, I won't let you die!" ”

4.Xiaoxin said, "Teacher, I want to go to the toilet." The teacher said, "No, it's class time, why don't you go after class just now?" Xiaoxin said: "The time after class is so precious, what a pity it is to use it to go to the toilet!" ”

5.Mom asked, "Xiaoxin, do you want to eat a cookie?"

Xiaoxin didn't respond. Mom asked again, "Xiaoxin, do you want to eat a cookie?"

Xiaoxin said: "Mom, I want to eat." Mom asked.

Why do I have to ask you twice? Xiaoxin said: "Because I want to eat two pieces."

Question: What happened to King Louis XIV of France after his beheading?

A: Orphaned.

Question: If a monkey picks corn in the orchard, he can pick five corns in one minute, so how many corns can he pick in 30 minutes?

Answer: 0. Q: Why?

A: Because the little monkey goes to the orchard to pick corn.

Q: A stag is running faster and faster, what happened to him in the end?

A: It became a highway.

Current events shady: Open with a browser.

A man used to tell a joke and then laughed himself to death.

When I used the soymilk machine for the first time, my mother and I didn't know how to use the soymilk machine, especially when the soymilk machine vibrated violently at the end, we thought it was wrong to operate, and quickly got under the table. When I heard the dripping sound of the soymilk machine, I didn't know that it was the prompt sound that the operation was completed, so I was stupid enough to say to my mother: Run, this thing is going to be **!

Although there is only one, it is quite funny: today I read my brother's composition, and I found that my brother was really good to me - it said that my parents died five times, divorced twice, my grandparents died twice, and I died thirteen times. Hope to adopt.

Once upon a time, there was a match that felt that his head was itchy and scratched and scratched, and he caught fire, hahahahahaha.

Make a sentence in a few words:

If: Lin Xin is beautiful.

Sad: It's sad to have a river in front of my house.

Delicious: Delicious fart.

And besides: a train passes, and besides, and besides.

Person A: Boss, how much is a bowl of dry noodles.

Boss: 8 fast.

Person A: How much does a bowl of soup cost.

Boss: Soup doesn't cost money.

Person A: Two bowls of soup.

A rotten gag I saw yesterday: sugar, salt, oil, vinegar, soy sauce, which of these seasonings is not smoking? The answer is: salt... Because smoking is strictly prohibited.

How do you keep sparrows silent?

Press it, and the crow is silent.

My parents are also stupid to meet my future father-in-law, my mother-in-law. Then he led the campus to enjoy the scenery and take pictures. Finally, take a picture of the father-in-law and the mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law told me: Don't take too ugly photos, otherwise you will look too stupid, you take it home, and your parents will laugh at it. I'm a little excited:

It's okay, my parents are stupid too! At that time, the old man's face turned black.

What fruit is the hottest pear.

In the world of electrical appliances. One day, the appliances will choose **, and the goal is whose joke will make all the appliances laugh. The first one to come up was the TV, which was very funny, but the rice cooker didn't laugh.

The second is the air conditioner, which is even funnier, and the rice cooker is not laughing yet. The third is the electric fan, which is very, very funny, and the rice cooker is not laughing yet. Suddenly, the rice cooker said to the refrigerator in the back, Can you not open your mouth too much when you laugh, I'm cold!

Today my dad bought me two goldfish, I put them in the tank, and I drowned! Alas, it's so sad

Why is the sea blue? Because there are fish in it, the fish will spit bubbles, and when the fish spits out the bubbles, it will be blue, blue, blue, biue, so the sea water will turn blue.

Once upon a time there was a bird who would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn, and the birds flew over and ......I thought it was snowing, and I died of cold...

A man came out of the men's restroom, and he said, "For the first time, there were all men in the men's restroom." ”

A man was walking on the road and came across an egg, he said:"Get lost! "And then that egg rolls --