It s annoying, it s annoying to my mother in law, why do I get annoyed when I see my mother in law

The importance of relatives is often reflected in every moment, but it is often impossible to be truly felt. Try to look at them from a point of view other than reality, look at them with an emotional eye, and don't be too rational to analyze and study and weigh the pros and cons.

Treat relatives, you should use the same way to treat relatives, don't treat a stranger in society like how much you pay and how much you get, many things do not need to be returned, or the return is not manifested in the kind of things that can be measured by money, time or something.

If you have to be so tired all the time, won't the old people collapse in the next few decades? It is because people are old and get out of that busy and entangled years that they have figured out a lot of things, and they have to care so much about it all their lives, but in the end they have to regret that they didn't get along with their families well and didn't do anything for those relatives.

So, let's feel that kind of thing from a different angle, sometimes it's really not worth caring too much about and being too suspicious.

Alas, how could you want the old lady to die! It's not easy for her to be so old, without him, there would be no your husband, and there would be no your baby son! Be forgiving!

Normally, some old ladies in rural areas are a bit patriarchal, you were born as his grandson, but he went to take care of his granddaughter, have you ever thought about what the reason? One may be that this old lady feels that her daughter needs more care, and the other is that she is here with you and is unhappy! You must have shown your disgust for her!

You're still young, don't worry about an old man! Not to mention that she died directly in the hospital, that is, she was discharged from the hospital, how many years can she have?

Your mother-in-law is not bad, I don't think there is any harm, but I just didn't bring you a child? Didn't you serve the confinement child?

Hmmm.........LZ is too traditional, which one? Who said that the mother-in-law must serve the daughter-in-law's confinement, to be honest, how can the mother-in-law have her own mother-in-law's intimacy, so I don't want the mother-in-law to come. It's a big deal, I hire an hourly worker to hire a confinement wife.

In addition, LZ keeps saying that it is how the grandson of the old man is, and I think the child is your child first, and then the grandson of the old man. Your own baby, bringing your own is the best. The old man is willing to help, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to.

Anyway. I think your idea of wanting the old man to die in the hospital is very vicious, didn't you serve the confinement child, as for you. Anyway, it's also my husband's mother, change positions, if your husband wants your mother to die in the hospital, how do you feel if you spend less money?

Your expression skills are very poor, and I patiently read it because it is rare to have such a long and unsegmented problem.

Now that you're all aware of anonymous questions, why write them out?

If you treat your husband's parents as your own parents, then your husband will also treat your parents as his own parents, and you don't have to unify everyone's values and worldview, and sometimes relatives don't need a common language. So, if you look at it this way, why are you angry?

I still wish your mother-in-law a speedy recovery, if when you become a mother-in-law and get sick, your daughter-in-law is obedient to you on the surface, but in her heart she hopes that you will die early, and the reason is that you are not aware of the trivialities, then how do you feel in your heart?

Psychology believes that when people face conflict and confrontation, they will make people very unhappy, so they will mobilize self-defense mechanisms to maintain their inner self-esteem.

Annoyance is because of a self-defense reaction after there is a conflict between you and your mother-in-law.

So what are the conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law? Broadly speaking, there can be four main categories:

Clause.

1. Conflict of Interest:

The daughter-in-law's interests are related to her own small family and maiden family; The mother-in-law has a stake in her family, including her son and grandchildren.

Conflicts of interest manifest themselves in the competition for sons (husbands) and grandchildren.

Who has the final say in the affairs of children, how to take care of these people, how to spend the money earned, etc., are all specific manifestations of conflict of interest.

Clause.

2. Role conflict:

There are two specific performances: 1. Who is the mistress of this home; 2. The role positioning of men in the family is different.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law both think that they are the masters of this family, and it is essentially a struggle for power.

As far as the positioning of male characters is concerned, the husband is a man who should carry things in the eyes of his wife, and a baby son in the eyes of his mother-in-law.

The positioning is different, the requirements are different, and the contradiction arises.

Clause.

3. Conflict of Concepts:

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two generations, and there is a big gap in the age of growth, environment, education and cognition.

Perceptions influence behavior.

There must be a conflict between you, so there is more hatred in your hearts! That's why it's annoying to see him!

You tell me, I can help you analyze it, thank you!

I don't know what's going on with the question, I still have something to talk to her before I didn't have a child, after giving birth, because I gave birth to a girl, she didn't take much care of me during the confinement, basically during my confinement, she was in the mahjong parlor.

So you think he's patriarchal.

And when you are confined, it is when you need someone to take care of you, but he doesn't take care of you, ask questions, and then play mahjong to a little bit, and come back to sleep, my baby can't cry, so you hold a grudge.

Actually, that's not what I care about.

This kind of psychology is generated.

It's not to ask.

Whether you care about it or not, since you think about it in your heart, it must be a problem, if it is not a problem, you will not think about it in your heart, and you will not say that many problems are accumulated.

What disgusted me was that he went to talk about me in various ways.

Her Yu Dun and I both became pregnant.

I don't think there is any fear of contradictions, the important thing is whether your husband has stepped up to deal with this matter?

Mother-in-law has a lot of things, which makes you very annoying, you can do the following steps, 1. Be considerate of your mother-in-law, mother-in-law is mostly for the sake of future generations.

2. Adjust your psychology, and when your daughter-in-law feels that her mother-in-law has a lot to do, she can empathize and understand her mother-in-law's original intention. Sleepy.

3. Negotiate with your mother-in-law, and talk to each other face-to-face to solve each other's failures.

First, you need to relax your heart.

In fact, as a daughter-in-law, we need to be generous, because on many issues, mothers-in-law actually thought for our good at the beginning, and their starting point was kind.

If we can be casual, and at the same time try to understand our mother-in-law as much as possible, we may not hate our mother-in-law so much, your mother-in-law is also from someone else's daughter-in-law, so there is no need for girls to hurt each other, then it is recommended that you can relax your heart, otherwise it will lead to very serious family problems, so this is very important, if we can not care so much, this can get along very well.

Second, understand your mother-in-law more.

In fact, in the family relationship, although it is a family, but still need to understand each other, mother-in-law may be because of the problem of age, and our ideas are a lot different, then at this time we actually need to be tolerant, understand more about their mother-in-law, then this will actually be better, family and everything is prosperous, this is important, do not make the mother-in-law problem more serious.

Otherwise, it is also very bad for your husband and wife relationship, so this is very important, when we hate our mother-in-law, in fact, we really need to think about it, many relationships can be melted and solved, so you don't need to worry too much. Give your mother-in-law a little more understanding, maybe you can influence your mother-in-law, and then your mother-in-law will treat you like a daughter.

Third, let's talk about it.

I hate my mother-in-law, in fact, there is a reason, it may be because your values are different, but mother-in-law as a senior, we need to respect, no matter what, if you encounter a problem, you still need to solve it well.

Then when you hate your mother-in-law, it may be because your mother-in-law has done something bad, in fact, you can sit down and talk about it well, so that you may understand some of each other's thoughts better, so it is helpful to ease your relationship, so you need to pay attention to it.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that many people will encounter now, but it needs to be solved no matter what. In fact, family harmony is very important, so don't make too many contradictions, which will also affect your husband's relationship, many problems can actually be solved, so it is actually okay to deal with it well, I hope you can both remember to understand each other well.

Then turn a blind eye and have less direct contact, what does she do and say less, you do your own business, and then think about it, if you are embarrassed, your husband is in a dilemma.

1. Don't live with your mother-in-law.

As the saying goes, distance produces beauty.

This is a well-known proposition in aesthetics, and this sentence can also be applied to dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

among them. In the life of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there are often some conflicts due to living habits and parenting styles, and these contradictions will gradually intensify over time. Even if you live with your own mother, sometimes there will be conflicts, let alone your mother-in-law.

Since this situation is unavoidable, then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should keep a distance, with distance, there will naturally be fewer conflicts, and there will be fewer contradictions, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be well improved. Therefore, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should keep their distance from each other. To keep a distance, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law try not to live together.

2. If it is unavoidable, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must live together, and they must say ugly things in front of them.

As the saying goes, "villain first, then gentleman". In the world, we must talk about the gains and losses of interests in the first place, and then talk about friendship. Doing so will not only avoid unnecessary disputes, but will also directly help maintain the stability of the relationship between the two parties.

Therefore, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have to live together, the smart daughter-in-law will definitely reach a consensus with her husband before that. As mentioned above, there will be many contradictions when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, so there are some principled things, such as: you can't get up early, you and your husband's life is equal, housework is assigned by your husband and wife, etc., these principled things, you must communicate with your husband first, and let your husband and mother-in-law talk about it.

And there are some things in life that you really can't bear, you must not bear it, because forbearance will either suffocate you out of internal injuries, or you will be too lethal if you have been saving for too long, so you must tell your husband and let your husband and mother-in-law talk about it. Ugly words ahead, you can't be wrong.

3. Be filial to your mother-in-law.

Although your mother-in-law is not your biological mother, she has no nurturing grace for you. But you must have a grateful heart.

Because if it weren't for your mother-in-law's hard work, you wouldn't have an excellent husband who loves you so much. So, if you really love your husband, be sure to be filial to his parents with your husband.

Therefore, if the mother-in-law is not deliberately finding fault, then the daughter-in-law should not be stinky either. Give your mother-in-law more smiles, and chat more with your mother-in-law when she is fine. If you are good to your husband's parents, he will naturally be filial to your parents.

When we encounter an annoying mother-in-law, the first thing we have to reflect on is ourselves, why we are disgusted by his behavior. Is it that you are not good enough, or do you have the influence of your own family of origin?

Secondly, let's see if the mother-in-law has any bad behavior? If your mother-in-law does have any bad behavior and can't correct it, let's isolate it.