Tell some bad jokes. Say a few bad jokes

I work a lot, I don't get a commission, I work overtime on vacation, I haven't paid off the mortgage, and I buy my own insurance, but fortunately, I don't have to pay for parking, because I can't afford to buy a car! Xiaoqiang went to the zoo to see the monkey, and the monkey exclaimed: Second junior brother, I haven't seen you for a long time.

Xiaoqiang: You must have recognized the wrong person, I don't know you. Monkey:

Still pretending, thinking that who doesn't know, look in the mirror yourself. There are eight people in a bedroom, three snoring babies, one grinding teeth, two talking in their dreams and chatting together, and a sleepwalking in the middle of the night scared us half to death, but I am normal, except for bedwetting, there is nothing wrong with it! In the winter, some of the chairs on the bus were very cold, and on New Year's Day, my friend and I were waiting at the bus station, and soon a relatively empty bus came.

As soon as the car stopped, my friend immediately rushed up, and when I went up, I asked him: Why are you in such a hurry? He said triumphantly

While the chair is still hot! I used to buy a bottle of iced tea in the commissary, drank half of it, the urine was full, and I took it to the boss, your iced tea tasted, and the boss drank it and gave me another bottle! It wasn't until later that there was Nutrition Express!

My body is getting worse day by day!

Look in the mirror and see who it is, isn't it ready-made.

1. There is a person who has a bad stomach. One day, he came to the gastric hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor:

I eat what I pull, eat watermelon pull watermelon, eat cucumber pull cucumber! "

The doctor thought for a moment and said to him:

I see you only have to eat! "

2. Xiao Ming ate red bean dumplings during work hours, and the manager said angrily when he saw it: "It's too idle, isn't it?" ”

3. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend

He cried and cried all the time

I was very sad and cried all the time

As a result him

Germination

now

1.Once upon a time, there was a little girl who sold matches. She worked hard in the snow to sell matches, but no one came to buy them. Suddenly, the little girl stood up and scolded: What do you love, my mother won't buy it.

2.Once upon a time there was a bun, and when he was walking on the road, he realized that he was too hungry, so he ate himself. Once upon a time, when a match was walking on the road, he realized that he was too cold, so he set himself on fire.

This is what I thought of myself.

There was a rat who went to the gas tank to smoke and died!

Are you cold, cold.

Well, go to the corner, the corner has 90°

A woman got off the night shift, a man followed the plot, the woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, I'm back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbery fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, NND, they carved my name wrong...The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be tender..."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!"

Changing the house number of my house. The old man is rolling down the hill! At this moment, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "Damn, it takes so much money to make a piece of iron."

Shennong tasted a hundred herbs, what was his last sentence before he died?

A: That's ......This grass is poisonous!