What should I do if the husband and wife have different family concepts, which leads to frequent con

Sometimes couples have too high expectations of each other, and there can be quarrels. For example, if you think that tomorrow is your birthday, should you have a surprise for yourself? Full of anticipation on your birthday, the other party just gave you a happy birthday and then there was no follow-up.

It's a lie to say that I'm not disappointed, it's no good to be really noisy at this time, so it's better to comfort myself, at least he still remembers my birthday.

Some couples can't quarrel, there is always one who quarrels and one who doesn't, or both parties are willing to give in. If both parties do not compromise, then it is better to divide the space, do not interfere too much in each other's affairs, except for taking children can reach an agreement, other things are comfortable with each other, some people just like this kind of life, small to habit, big to lifestyle, all respect each other, not too interfere, will not impose their own ideas, let alone ask for assimilation, do not interfere and will not look at it, let each other live as freely and comfortably as possible. Such a way of life is not the most, but it should be the most comfortable, at least respectful to both parties.

When facing a problem, you can try to sit together and have a good talk, pay attention to controlling emotions when talking, say each other's true thoughts, and work together to find a solution. If you are faced with a problem that cannot be solved by both parties, do not blindly ask the other party to back down or what the other party wants to do, but learn to tolerate each other, love someone is not only to accept the advantages of the other party, but also to learn to accept the shortcomings of the other party.

If you are married, you often think that you should invest in a certain thing, a certain person's opinion, you think it is unnecessary, no matter how big or small, you can't talk together, either one side compromises and tolerates the other, or you leave as soon as possible, so that you can get together and disperse, and do not delay the happiness of the next stop.

Quarrels are not something that can be quarreled if you want to, but also have to have a fuse. Some couples start arguing after three sentences, which may be due to different views on things and are prone to disputes. Some couples are too young and more dependent on their parents, and after they become independent, they quarrel because of the division of labor in life.

So we have to figure out the reason, why we are quarrelling, in order to prescribe the right medicine.

What kind of life you want to live is up to you. If you take this kind of frequent argument as a way to love each other and enjoy it, it doesn't matter what the bystanders say. If you feel that every minute is a torment, you still have to be brave enough to change and make your husband and wife family life what you want.

If you don't like to do housework, you either spend money on cleaning, and some of the rest of the trivial chores, just make a table to divide the labor reasonably. For example, if I do the laundry, you will be responsible for drying the laundry, or doing other things, of course, provided that both of you think it is feasible, and not that I am at a loss for doing this.

If I say that I want to take the initiative to tolerate, you will definitely ask, why do I take the initiative to tolerate, why does the other party not have this awareness? I guess that's why it's you. Because no matter how good the other party's temper is, if he often quarrels like this, that temper will be exhausted.

If you can take the initiative, why not take the initiative? If, because of your initiative and tolerance, you can strangle this storm in the cradle, is it very fulfilling?

Clause. 1. Find a way to make the other person understand your own thoughts.

Many times there are conflicts between husband and wife, which are caused by mutual incomprehension, if the two parties have a disagreement, you can find a way to let the other party understand their own point of view, after the other party understands their thoughts and opinions, the next step is to calmly express their values. Most husbands do not understand their wives' points of view and do not explain much, which leads to conflicts. Therefore, it is very necessary to express your values in as much detail as possible.

Clause. Second, take the initiative to understand the other person's point of view.

When there is a big difference in the values of both parties, it is necessary for both spouses to take into account the other person's position first. The difference in values between men and women in love has not yet been fully revealed. But once married, when living together, many things become more complicated, and the difference in values is easily exacerbated, but it is important not to be stubborn and deny each other's ideas, but to take the initiative and actively understand each other's point of view.

Clause. 3. A compromise can be reached between the two parties through communication.

When couples have different values, the most important thing is to sit down and communicate effectively and find some compromise between the two parties. If there are some major crises and difficulties in the future, they will not easily have violent conflicts, but will sit down and communicate with each other to discuss and seek compromises.

All in all, the most obvious manifestation of the different values between husband and wife is the lack of common goals in life, husbands and wives each have their own goals to pursue, and will not consider each other's feelings more, couples with different values often criticize each other in language and contradict each other in behavior, so such couples will inevitably part ways in the end, that is, we often regard no common language, no speculation, etc., as the reason for the breakup of husband and wife, which is actually caused by different values. In order to maintain a long-term relationship, both spouses need to learn how to communicate effectively, which will benefit the long-term development of the relationship.

Husbands and wives get along, there will inevitably be friction, and occasional quarrels will not affect the relationship, but if they quarrel often and are not handled properly, it is dangerous for the relationship between husband and wife and family harmony. How to deal with a husband and wife who always quarrel?

1.Avoid speaking ill of each other.

When husband and wife quarrel, no matter how angry they are, they should also pay attention not to speak unscrupulously, they are very sensitive when they quarrel, and if they speak ill of each other at this time, it is easy to add fuel to the fire.

2.Self-criticism.

If there is a conflict between husband and wife, no matter who is right or wrong, you can no longer blame it at will, which will add fuel to the fire. Instead, you should do more self-criticism and find your own mistakes, which will help ease the tension in the relationship.

3.Find someone to talk to.

When a husband and wife quarrel, they can find a mutual friend to talk to, the so-called "the authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear", and find a friend to help analyze and persuade them, which will help solve the conflict.

4.Calm down first and then talk to your heart.

When both parties are angry, it is difficult to solve the problem, at this time, both parties can calm down first, sit down and talk openly, explain their thoughts to each other clearly, and the problem will be easily solved.

5.Let your child be a buffer.

If you already have children, it will be better, after the husband and wife quarrel, they don't want to talk first, they are in the way of face, at this time you can let the child convey each other's concerns, such as the mother let the child tell the father, the washed shirt is placed in the ****; Dad asked the child to tell Mom that the newly bought clothes were put in the xx cook. In this way, the cold war between husband and wife will end quickly.

Between husband and wife, frequent quarrels will leave an indelible shadow on the fragile and young hearts of children. The most obvious effects are the following, as a parent, you may wish to take a look!

1. Irritable and withdrawn.

Husbands and wives often quarrel, to be honest, it is nothing more than the child who is hurt, for a long time this will affect the child's character, the original well-behaved and sensible baby, if you often see your parents quarreling in front of you, the personality will become more excited, irritable, and even become grumpy and withdrawn.

In the inner world of children, they often think that other people's families are so harmonious and beautiful, and slowly form a lack of good speech in front of classmates, isolation, etc. There are many words and deeds that imitate us adults, because the child's first teacher is the parents, if the vicious behavior of quarreling in front of the child, then, the look and behavior during the quarrel, the child will also see it, but also remember it, so that over time, the child's personality will become very irritable.

2. Lack of sense of security, gain and loss.

I believe that there are many irrational parents, as soon as their heads are hot, they start to yell regardless of who is around, and the children must be scared to cry and be scared when they see it, and even think about whether you will separate, then there may be a lack of mother or baby company and so on.

Parents quarrel in front of their children, it is best not to do this kind of very hurtful quarrel in front of the child, because this will make the child feel very frightened and helpless, and seeing the parents quarrel again and again makes the child seriously insecure. In fact, at this time, the child's heart is very fragile and soft. I have read a relevant statistic, 80% of adults who are afraid of marriage have the experience of discord or frequent quarrels with their parents in their early years, and they are disappointed in marriage, and even fearful, which is an insecure factor formed in their early psychology, which has an impact on the child's life.

3. Learn to use it for oneself and not be filial.

Cause the baby is not filial piety is not false at all, often see the parents' quarrels or behavior, usually will be transmitted to the child, not used to the parents every quarrel, when they also have emotions or can not control the emotions, the little guy also has a temper, even to the parents tantrums, over time, the child will become unfilial, do not know how to be grateful, in fact, is not the child's problem, the root lies in the parents, really should not quarrel in front of the child.

Among the many relationships in life, family relationships are the most important. When you and your husband form a family unit, getting along with both family members is a challenge that must be faced. Considering the differences in personality and living habits, it is likely that you will not get along with most of your family.

However, this is not an unsolvable problem. Below, I will share with you some ways to solve family conflicts.

First, listen patiently to the other person's point of view and ideas.

When you have a conflict with your husband's family, the first thing to do is to stay calm. Once you've calmed down, try to communicate with the other person and listen to their views and thoughts on the issue. Not only can you understand each other's different ideas, but you can also avoid disputes due to personal opinions.

Be empathetic, understand the other person's point of view, and take the initiative to explain your attitude and opinion.

Second, respect each other's differences.

In any family, everyone is an independent individual with their own living habits and ideological characteristics. We can't expect everyone to be the same as we think they are, but we should respect everyone's differences. If you don't get along with your husband's family, don't try to force the other person to change the situation, instead, try to accept their differences.

Third, maintain good communication.

Family conflicts often stem from information asymmetry. To avoid this, good communication needs to be maintained. Between family members, there needs to be a unified communication channel, and do not use the microphone to communicate, which can easily cause misunderstandings.

In addition, it is necessary to actively communicate in daily life, care about the current situation of the other party, and enhance the relationship, so as to reduce the chance of conflict.

Fourth, we must respect each other's private space.

In the family, everyone needs their own private space to maintain their mental health. So, in the process of getting along, you should respect each other's private space and do not interfere or impose your own ideas. Only by giving each other enough freedom can we better maintain family harmony.

In short, in the process of getting along with the family, it is necessary to maintain an open, understanding and tolerant attitude, respect each other's differences, and take the initiative to resolve conflicts, so as to make the family more harmonious.

Don't feel special, that's how every couple lives! It was decades ago, and it will be decades later. Because of love, you argue.

If you don't have love, you can't quarrel anymore. Believe me can communicate when I'm calm. Don't think about the closest of him so much that he doesn't understand you, was it forced to walk together?

As long as both sides are willing to talk, it doesn't matter whether he is right or not. The important thing is that you are willing to listen. This will allow you to build new bridges of love!

Calm down, and then think about it from the other person's point of view, between husband and wife, it should be more trust, understanding, and tolerance, try to tolerate each other, and also accept each other's opinions.

Then sit down and talk, communicate well, understand each other, and empathize.