Is there any article or paragraph that would be embarrassing to the point of sourness?

When I was in junior high school, I ran to the commissary to buy snacks to eat after class, and there were many people every time, and once I forcibly squeezed in and shouted: Auntie, I want Jang Geun Suk's bottle of fresh oranges. My aunt said to me with a mouthful of plastic

What grows big, people have to be good. Another time, I also forcibly squeezed in and shouted: Auntie, I want to kiss (a kind of plum when I was a child).

My aunt looked at me with a red face, and I looked at her anxiously at that time. ‍‍

It's raining today, driving out to play, a puddle of water on the side of the road, driving a little fast, splashing my buddy's water, I parked, I wanted to go back and apologize, but I poured back and splashed him with water, I was a little embarrassed, so I was about to leave, but I splashed him again, I saw this thing pick up a brick, I quickly ran.

A few days ago, I took a plane, after the flight was stable, I went to the bathroom, opened the door and found a girl inside, she said angrily: Why don't you knock on the door when you come in? I flatly quit, then knocked on the door and asked:

Can I come in? Shouting inside: Get out!

I don't trust women anymore. ‍‍

I just went to buy medicine, and suddenly forgot the name of the medicine, and the owner of the pharmacy said: I have been selling drugs for 30 years, as long as you know the two words in the medicine, I know what the medicine is, I thought about it for a long time, and said: I only know the last two words, the boss said, what words? I said: capsules.

On this day, I took my friend to the church for worship, my friend was going for the first time, he was very religious, but he was also more nervous, I saw him plop down and kneel, put his hands together and shout "Amitabha!" ”‍

The most embarrassing thing I've seen is from "Little Times", for example: Gu Li walked towards us: I turned around and saw Gu Li walking towards us with an LV bag and Gucci boots.

She casually threw a cup of milk tea, which only drank a small half, into the trash can on the side of the road. For example, Nan Xiang received a hug : Later, Nan Xiang also received a hug with Dolce & Gabbana perfume on her chest.

Kick the door hard: Neil shook the door hard, took two steps, turned around, and kicked heavily on the carved wooden door worth 190,000 yuan. When he hesitated, ** rang :

When he hesitated to buy a box of 299 pieces of xylitol chewing gum from Japan, ** rang. She flirted with her bangs: Gu Li stared at the frozen lake, and very soberly teased the bangs that she had just found a top foreign stylist from Sassoon to give a lecture in Shanghai.

My friend and I came to a fork in the road, and we said goodbye with a song: "I'll send you away, thousands of miles away." So, "thousands of miles away" left. ‍‍

Today, a friend of mine announced her pregnancy at a friend's party, and we were so happy! So I blurted out excitedly, "Great, I must be a stepmother after the child is born!" Everyone was quiet, and I suddenly realized that I had said something wrong, and quickly changed my words, "No, no, I mean stepmother." ”‍

My mom used to tell me when I was a kid that I was picking up the garbage from the banana tree at the door, and I always joked about her. When I grew up, I realized that I was really picked up by her from the garbage heap under the banana tree at the door. ‍‍

It's the kind of stalk that others can't hear.

It should be very emotionally intelligent and intelligent.

It's that the article about homosexuality is like that.

It's about some articles about sexuality.

In fact, there are still many such jokes.

The four Tang monks and apprentices went to the west to learn the scriptures and tongjian, climbed over thousands of rivers and mountains, and went through hardships and ......In order to solve their personal problems, the "If You Are Honest, Do Not Disturb" column group set up a special session for them, hoping to fulfill Zhu Bajie's wish to not die. Meng Fei: Please ask 24 female guests to turn on the lights!

Now let's invite the No. 1 male guest to the stage! Zhu Bajie is the most enthusiastic, scrambling, and can't wait to play. Male Guest No. 1:

I am Zhu Bajie, I was originally the marshal of Tianpeng in the Heavenly Palace, and now I accompany my master to the West Heaven to learn from the scriptures, and I am the second in the ranking bureau. Meng Fei: Please turn on the lights!

I saw the female guest "Huh, hmm......"Several lights went out, but a few lights were still on. Meng Fei: Why did the guests turn off the lights on the 12th?

Female guest No. 12: He is so lazy to do it, he is also timid, and he is not responsible, I can't live with him! Guest No. 15 retorted:

Which man is not sexy.

There was a mid-term exam, and there was a question in the Chinese test paper: translating the following pinyin into Chinese character idioms. Zha Sen mo4ming2qi2miao4 Xiao Ming took the test paper and saw the question, and sneered:

Such a simple question is also scary? I've never been afraid to take the Pinyin test. So he picked up the pen and waved it, and without thinking, he filled in the words "Herdsmen ride the temple."

When the teacher saw this answer when he was revising the paper, he was first shocked, and then laughed. When the sail was buried when the beam was bent and hail, the teacher talked about this topic and said: "Some students wrote 'herdsmen riding temples'.

Just imagine, the herdsmen were originally horseback, how could they ride the temple? The classmates laughed when they heard this, and Xiao Ming stood up unconvinced: "What are you laughing at!"

The temple can't be ridden, so it's inexplicable! ”

A prisoner went to prison and sighed incessantly, saying that his life was miserable. At this time, a fat prisoner came to his side, and said with a smile: "This is not necessarily, and it may not be a one-way disaster."

Sure enough, after a while, the warden said to the prisoner: "You come out, there is something looking for you." "The prisoner went out, and there was a lawyer and a child standing outside, and the lawyer said to the prisoner

I'm sorry, sir, but you were found guilty of robbery, but you were found guilty of theft, and your sentence was increased from 10 to 20 years. When the prisoner was about to cry without tears, he saw that his child had also come, and hurriedly said, "Baby, what are you doing here?"

The child said, "Dad, Mom knows that you have been sentenced to an increased sentence, and she divorced you and then married another man." The prisoner cried and said

Hengpeng child, dad is only you now. ”.

There are tigers on Jingyang Gang. The magistrate posted a list to recruit people to fight tigers, but he didn't recruit them. So the magistrate said to the blind master:

We can't find a warrior, so we can only rely on ourselves. Master, I'll send you to Jingyanggang to tremble! The master cried

My lord, I'm just a weak scholar, how can I beat the tiger! The magistrate said, "It's not that you want to fight the tiger."

The so-called knowing oneself and knowing one's opponent is a hundred battles. I just want you to spy on the enemy. Master said:

That's not going to work! Zhixian: "Of course you can do it, no one in this county can do it except you!"

The master asked, "How can you see it?" "Zhixian:

You think, you have a tigress at home, and you live with the tiger every day, so it's best for you to go to investigate! ”

Mr. Wang Haiwen is thirty-two years old, and due to his poor family, every blind date is rejected by the woman, and he runs into walls everywhere, and his confidence is shattered. He ran to the bad marriage agency, hoping that this month old man could match his marriage. The marriage introduction says:

Please submit your resume first. He said: "My blind dates all ended in failure because I didn't have a house or a car."

The marriage introduction said: "It is extremely difficult for your marriage to succeed, and it may smash our brand, and we will not accept your application." He said

Now businessmen will sell fake and shoddy products, you package me as rich and handsome, fool a woman into marrying me, I will reward you heavily. The marriage introduction said: "We will not push people into the fire pit, this is a professional Taoist guess and miss morality." ”

I came to Brother Pick's house: I'm coming to your house, aren't you going to drink Brother: Oh, what do you want to drink?

Let's have some carbonated drinks After a while, Brother Pick Door brought a bottle, which contained "Old Vinegar Chang Fool Zhou", "Charcoal" I: I'm hungry, I'm ready to order food Brother Picker: What flavor do you want to eat I:

It's sour and spicy, and after a while, the old brother brought a dish, and the old vinegar copied the old godmother: The dish is not good, then you have to order a meal, and the old brother of the door: What staple food do you want to eat?

After a while, the elder brother took a piece of paper, and drew a cake on it, at this time, his daughter-in-law and my brother and sister came back, and I learned about the situation again.

A certain woman went out to work early in the morning. As soon as I entered the gate, I saw a colleague, and a colleague joked with her that your pants had a hole. A certain woman:

How is it possible, when I went out to dismiss the world, I took a special look and didn't see that it was broken before I went out. A colleague: I don't believe you see it yourself.

A certain woman: I am very confident, you must be joking with me, right? A colleague:

Yes, you say it's a joke, it's a joke, right? A certain woman walked into the office very happily, sat at the desk, and drank tea while eating breakfast. Suddenly, a man walked into the rough man and came to his feet, and a woman stood up.

The man took one look at it and laughed, are you wearing a good dress today? A certain woman said, "That's a certainty, I came here today wearing my new Yannian clothes."

The man looked at it: This is also called new, I see you have worn it several times! Female (inexplicable.)