Classic jokes are offered, five or more!

1. Come back quickly, I won't come alone! 2. The reason why I don't like scolding is because I'm afraid of reciprocal courtesy. 3. The most effective way to give up a person and want to forget is to give up?

Study Ultraman. 4. That day, I heard that I was ruined, and I was very excited about it, and for the first time in my life, someone praised me for being handsome. 5. Don't challenge my patience with your temper, brother is not fishing.

6. Can't extricate yourself, in addition to love, there are also radishes in other people's fields. 7. That person is really rude, he always doesn't talk to me in class. 8. It is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge; The villain takes revenge, from morning till night.

9. Occasionally, you will feel very cool when you live quietly; But if life is quiet, it will be miserable ......10. Q: What happened to a fat man who fell from an eighteen-story building? Answer:

Dead fatty. 11. There are more flowers in the world, if you don't see cow dung, no one will pay attention to you. 12. It is said that more than 300 million words of high school homework in China are assigned a year, and the scrolls can circle the earth three times when connected, ranking first in the world for 9 consecutive years.

13. Two colleagues and their husbands have a surname of Qu and a surname of Qian, and they plan to name their daughter "Qu Qian", whose English name is ATM and whose nickname is Petty Someone asked: "What do your friends say to you, which usually moves you very much?" "I thought about it and said:

I'll pay for it. "15, the purest serial drama in history - "News Network". For nearly 30 years, the hero and heroine have been dating regularly every day, never having scandals, and never holding hands.

16. Football players rely on their legs to eat, so retirement is called hanging up boots; Tennis players rely on rackets to eat, so retirement is called hanging rackets; Students rely on examination subjects to eat, so dropping out of school is called failing a course; Then the film and television stars who rely on their faces to eat have retired, and they should be called noodles. 17, I really want to have a backgammon lighter - my mother no longer has to worry about my study, holding a textbook, **won't click**! so easy!

Because it's a mother bunny. 2.One person asked

Do you know how to put an elephant in the freezer? Another replied, "It's very simple, first open the refrigerator door, then put the elephant in, and finally close the door."

3.Two people were walking on the road, and one of them suddenly fell, and the other asked, "Are you okay?"

The man who fell: "I'm fine, my knee just said hello to the ground." ”4.

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "What does your father do?" "Xiao Ming:

My dad was a firefighter. The teacher asked, "Does he often go to work?"

Xiao Ming: "Not often, I only go to work when there is a fire." ”5.

Once, a man went to an interview and the interviewer asked him, "Why do you want this job?" "This person:

Because I need money. The interviewer then asked, "Then why do you need money?"

This person: "Because I need to buy something." "I hope mine is helpful to you<>

Answer: Jokes.

1.If you think I'm wrong, please tell me, I won't change it anyway, don't hold back your illness.

2.I'm good with objects, I'm good with elephants, and I'm good with horses, rabbits, and dogs.

3.One night, Xiao Ming was lying on the soft grass, and a meteor pierced the sky, Xiao Ming saw this and hurriedly made a wish, "Let me be the most handsome person in the universe!" "A miracle happened, and the meteor went back.

4.Weather forecast: Recently, the master of flirting with girls is being born, please pay attention to the majority of girls.

5."I have to discuss this kind of thing with my partner" "Don't you have no partner?" "So it's not negotiable."

6.True love is to think that the other party is a pig, and you are worried about being snatched away by others.

7.You are enough of the women who call Wang Sicong her husband, what qualifications do you have to be my mother.

8.There are always a few fools who are friends I can't abandon.

9.No matter how high your martial arts are, you are afraid of kitchen knives.

10.In the next life, I will definitely be reincarnated as a woman, and then marry a man like me.

One day, a person went to work and found that there was no one in the office, and today was also a working day, only to find that his watch was 3 hours faster.

1.After the midterm exam, the math teacher was going to publish the results, he said:

There are as many people over ninety as there are those over eighty; There are equally many people over eighty and over seventy"

As soon as he said that, the whole class cheered, and one of the students asked:"So. What about the number of people who fail?

The teacher is unhurried: there are as many people who fail as there are the whole class"

Smile at Jiuquan. 2.Once for a junior high school child, I found the following terrible words in his English textbook:

Daddy Died (bus

Yes

Dead Girls

Sister dies (mis?).)

Dead Light (school).

3.The biology teacher was enthusiastically describing the appearance of African wild boars on stage, and occasionally glanced at the audience, and found that most of the orange students were dozing off. So it was great.

Guanghuo shouted, "You have to look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know.

What does an African wild boar look like? ”

4.My middle school table mates are known for being concise and concise. One day, there was a group meeting in the class, and it was unbearable.

In the end, he asked everyone for any opinions, and when asked about him, he replied, "Urine." ”。

Bottom line: A colleague (a little girl) held a cup and looked at the bottled water on the ground and exclaimed gorgeously: I'm dying of thirst, is there a man?