What do you do to make you laugh and cry?

When I was in the third grade of primary school, I saw a yellow dog on the way home from school, lying motionless on the ground, I don't know what to think, I ran to kick it, and then, and then there was a long run for more than ten minutes, and I was chased for a few streets, the key is, everyone watched, and no one stopped me, and now I remember that I was really naughty when I was a child, and I guess many adults were amused by me at that time.

At that time, our unit was directly under the provincial unit, and the province organized a speech contest because I was the first place in the unit's speech contest. The unit sent me to participate, I wrote a speech, made full preparations, to the night before the competition insomnia, to the competition, I impassioned speech after the first paragraph, I forgot the content of the speech, in a hurry, had to make up temporarily, after talking about the content of their own do not know, I really can't make it up, I had to blush to the judges: "I forgot the words", and came down, the face of our unit leaders are crooked.

When I was in junior high school, my tablemate asked me to go to his house to watch the disc, and the first thing that came to me when I opened it was, "Under 18 years old, please be accompanied by an adult**." So my classmates called my parents to watch together, and then I slipped away, and the table didn't come to school the next day, and I heard that I couldn't get up after being mixed doubles.

My family is rural, when I was four years old, I stood on the wall with the neighbor's young lady to play, the neighbor's aunt asked the young lady to go down, the young lady just didn't go down, the aunt said that if you don't come down, let Xiaoyun (me) push you down, I was very obedient and pushed her down, now think about it, fortunately the wall of my house is not very high, she just has a nose bleed.

Once I went to a friend's house to play a game, I was about to put on shoe covers when I entered the door, and he said: Just come in without wearing them! I said, "No, I'm afraid I'll get my shoes dirty." My friend was directly stunned, you think my house is soiling your shoes, and I am also convinced of my brain.

One winter in high school, I was riding a bicycle and saw the person in front of me slipping, and I thought I must be careful, but then there was the rhythm of my own slipping, and many people around me saw it.

Go get your hair cut and the barber asks, "What do you do"? Me: "What about you, who works for others?" Barber: "I got a haircut", the point is, until the haircut is over, no one notices that there is anything wrong.

My grandfather was confused, and he often did things that made people cry. I don't use soy sauce as vinegar, or I wear my mother-in-law's glasses as my own, and sometimes I wear my shoes backwards! No, today his illness is again.

This morning, Grandpa got up in a daze. Suddenly remembered that a good friend of his had a birthday today, but he didn't know where it was? I had to beat others.

So, grandpa put his hand in his pocket and touched it, huh? How not? I can't touch this pocket anymore!

Grandpa walked over and touched his briefcase again, and took out almost all the contents of the briefcase and didn't find it. Grandpa was so anxious that he paced around like an ant on a hot pot, thinking: If I don't go to my best friend's birthday, how will I meet people in the future?

Suddenly, the grandfather shouted, "Good granddaughter, come here." "Clever me" ran to grandpa with a sound.

Grandpa said, "I'll give you a task now, help me find it." If you find it, I'll invite you to eat a hamburger."

I drooled at the hamburger, so I ran over and rummaged through the cabinets without saying a word. I went to Mom and Dad's room, opened their closet and looked for it. But I turned the wardrobe upside down, and I still can't see my grandfather.

When my mother saw that I had gotten their stuff all over the place, she said angrily, "What are you doing there?" "I'll defend it right away:

I'm helping grandpa find it! Mother said, "How can you be here?"

I, your dad, and you'll look for it! Dad lay down his bulky body, touched it under the sofa, and said excitedly, "Found it!"

Got it! "Everyone walked over, and of course Grandpa was the most excited, and Dad took it out and looked at it, and it was a big disappointment, it was just a toy. Let's rejoice in vain.

I thought to myself: if only it could fly to me automatically, if only I had clairvoyance to see, if only I could ......Hey! I can beat my mother's grandfather and know where it is:

After making up my mind, I happily took my mother's and started fighting. There was a long beep in the earpiece, "it's through" I screamed excitedly, and then, a pleasant sound, at home. A stone in our psyche fell to the ground.

We followed to the refrigerator and looked around the refrigerator. No, in the fridge? Grandma opened the refrigerator and saw that it was really grandpa's.

It turned out that my grandfather put the food in the refrigerator by the way. Ay! What Grandpa did was really laughable.

1. Male: Honey, go and see your mother, today I agree to your mother's conditions......F: Ah, you have 50,000 dollars?

M: Isn't it Singles' Day? Half the price for all, 25,000 is still okay......Female:

Nima, my mother said yesterday that the price will be adjusted to 100,000 yuan in the past two days, and a 50......% discount will be given on Singles' Day2. When my wife opened the door, it was dark at home, and I saw my husband sitting in front of the computer: Nyima, the house is dark, what are you doing? As he spoke, he turned on the light ......Husband:

Clipper years clear off the ......Wife: What are you doing here? Husband:

I'm deciphering the wifi password. Wife: You can't turn on the lights if you decipher the code?

Husband: What do you know? Otherwise, how can people call hackers?

3. My wife was following things at home and saw a medicine bottle: Husband, what kind of medicine is this? Old.

After watching the ghost movie and walking at night, I always feel that my heart is hairy, and I dare not look back at all. When I got home, I found that my chest hair was blown out of order.

I remember that I was about 10 years old and poor.,The TV at home is a little broken.,The screen is always snowflakes.,I can't see clearly.,And no one took it to repair.,One day I'm at home at home.,And I'm hungry and want to watch cartoons and can't see clearly.,I had a whim.,I removed it myself to repair.,Open the cover of the TV.,I found that there were two lines not connected together.,I thought it should be broken here.,Just pick it up.,Decisively connect the two wires.,Then power it on.,The result was white smoke all of a sudden....The TV is completely broken, thinking that it will not be discovered by its parents, and it is difficult to restore the TV, but it can't be installed. If you don't know what happened later, you can guess it, I won't tell you that there was no TV at home for more than a year.

During recess time, the playful Jiang Xiaoyu was immersed in his math homework. When he heard the sound of the next key from the outside of the classroom, he didn't look back and asked anxiously, "At the same table, is the math teacher here?"

No—there is," the table grinned. "No, no, yes, yes, make it clear. Jiang Xiaoyu, who bowed his head and worked hard, roared, and rolled out.

Before the words fell, Jiang Xiaoyu only felt a cold wind approaching, and a crisp applause fell on his neck. "Stand up, Jiang Xiaoyu, and copy the homework again. "The teacher is already standing beside him unconsciously" Jiang Xiaoyu glared at the same table fiercely, touched his hot neck and stood up reluctantly, and the class burst into laughter.

What is this written, it recognizes me, I don't recognize it, rewrite! His son cried out, "No!

Seeing that a martial arts blockbuster was about to be staged, I hurriedly said, "Let me see." I took it and pointed to a neat word with a neat line

This one is the most beautiful. Hmm, let's see if there's any one pretty. The little guy snatched the homework book and ran back to the study.

After a while, he ran out proudly and said, "Uncle, look for it again, see if there is one that is not beautiful?" My friend was stunned and asked me for ...... parenting experience

Silly roe deer 1The hunter Ah Chong raised his gun to aim and shoot Ah Cheng, but unfortunately the bullet flew over the roe deer's head, and the roe deer disappeared in a flash. This is a mistake by Ah Chong Di Jing Chain.

Just when he was stunned and about to put away the gun, suddenly the roe deer turned back again, as if to say: Stupid, did you miss the target? The gun went off, and Ah Chong said happily

Ten rings! The roe deer said: It is even worse to get carried away!

2.The hunter Ah Chong raised his gun to aim and shoot Ah Cheng, but unfortunately the bullet grazed the top of the roe deer's head, and the roe deer disappeared in a flash. This is Ah Chong's first miss.

Just when he was stunned and about to put away the gun, suddenly the roe deer came back again, as if asking: What messed up my hairstyle just now? Ah Chong said

Gun! Bang! Before he died, the roe deer said:

Curiosity kills roe deer!

There is a father and son, one morning when eating noodles, the father asked his son which bowl to eat, and the son did not hesitate to choose the bowl with a poached egg on the noodles, but after eating, he found that the father's bowl of noodles actually hid two poached eggs in Qiqi. The next morning, the father asked which bowl to eat this time, and the son chose the bowl with no eggs on the noodles, but after eating the spring hail, he found that there were no eggs underneath, and the father's bowl had an egg on top and an egg inside. On the third day, the son smiled and asked his father to choose first, and the father chose the bowl with an egg on the face, and after the son finished eating, he found that his father still had two poached eggs hidden in the bowl, and he didn't have one, so he suddenly despaired, and his expression was shattered in an instant

Dad, let's eat dumplings tomorrow morning! On the fourth day, my father served two bowls of dumplings, one with a poached egg on top.