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Anonymous users2024-02-07Dumb's story.
Dumb has had a stutter since he was a child.
Outing. One day, a guest was coming to the house, and Dumb's mother asked Dumb to go shopping and come back.
Arrived at the store. Boss: "A pack of beef jerky is 100 yuan." ”
Dumb: "I'll buy ......."Buy ......Buy ......”
The boss immediately packed up.
Dumb: "Can't afford it!" ”
Dumb asked again how to sell cookies.
Boss: "A pack is 80 yuan." ”
Dumb: "Good......Good ......Good ......”
The owner immediately wrapped the biscuits.
Dumb: "It's so expensive! ”
Dumb picked up a bottle of soda.
Boss: "30 yuan for a bottle." ”
Dumb: "Open ......."Open ......Open ......”
The boss immediately pried the soda bottle open.
Dumb: "What are you kidding!" ”
I bought something casually, and on the way home, someone was selling a drink, and I could try it.
Boss: "Would you like a small drink?" ”
Dumb: "I'll drink ......."Drink ......Drink ......”
The owner immediately poured a glass.
Dumb: "I can't drink it." ”
Dumb continued walking, meeting guests on the way.
Dumb: "My mom, please ......."Please ......Please come to my house for a poop ..................Meal! ”
Just after the New Year, the guest took out a red envelope to give to Dumb.
Dumb: "No......Not ......Not ......”
The guest immediately put away the red envelope.
Dumb: "I'm sorry! ”
Guest: "I have something to look for your dad, and your dad is not at home?" ”
Dumb: "In ......."In ......In ......”
The guest took Dumb's hand and walked into the house.
Dumb: "Outside." ”
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Anonymous users2024-02-06During the family sacrifice, an old gentleman with a strong local accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.
The obituary is written like this:
Filial piety: Pan Genko.
Filial piety: Chi's.
Filial granddaughter: Pan Liangci.
Filial piety: Pan Daoshi.
But this old gentleman is dizzy and his pronunciation is not standard.
When he followed the obituary roll call, he did not see anything that literally had three points of water or the left capital was missing.
So he read it to him like this: Filial piety, turn ......Follow ......Dou ......When Xiaonan heard it, he felt very strange, but he didn't dare to ask, so he turned over a heel fight.
Then he said: "Filial daughter-in-law, also ......."It's ......」
When the filial daughter-in-law heard it: I'm going to turn it over too? So the filial daughter-in-law also turned over a heel fight.
Again: Filial granddaughter, turn it twice. 」
When the filial granddaughter heard it, she thought that her parents had turned it over, so I would too! So I flipped two heels.
At this time, Xiaosun thought to himself: My father and mother have turned it once, and my sister has also turned it twice, so how many times should I turn it? Thinking about it, I started to get nervous: What to do? 」
I saw the old gentleman tear open his throat and read out loud:
Filial piety ......Flip ......to ......Dead ......」
Hehe, give points!
Watch the second episode of the 87 version of Dream of Red Mansions.
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