Can anyone tell me a couple of black jokes and gray jokes?

A pair of lovers in the park, the woman said that she had a toothache, the man kissed and said that it didn't hurt, and after a while, she said that her neck hurt, the man kissed it, and the woman said it didn't hurt, and an old lady next to her saw this and said to the guy: God is it, can you cure hemorrhoids? -

A hen lays a giant egg, and a reporter comes to interview her. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. The rooster rolled up his sleeves and said, "I won't comment on this matter for now, wait until the master catches the ostrich!" ”

1. The youngest son is very brave in fighting with others. Once, my son asked my father if he liked to fight with people when he was a child. Dad said, "Don't dare." ”

The son said, "Why? ”

Dad said, "I can't beat people." ”

The son said, "Then why don't you call me!" ”

2. The son asked his father: "Dad, why don't I have brothers and sisters?" ”

After hearing this, my father, who was reading the newspaper, became angry and roared, "Who told you not to go to bed early?" ”

3. Brother: "Oh, whose family is this group of dogs?" Came to our vegetable garden? ”

Brother: "I don't know whose big dog is, but I know who the little dog is." ”

Tell me, whose family is the puppy? ”

The puppy is from the big dog's house. ”

4. In Chinese class, when the word "Wensi Spring" is mentioned, the teacher says: "When you write essays, you feel a flash of inspiration in your mind, and what will flow out in a steady stream?" ”

Xiao Ming woke up from a big dream and said loudly: "Brain." ”

1. The five yuan was *** by the criminal gang, and the **** was given a hundred yuan bill: "Hey! Your son is here, and if you don't want us to tear up the ticket, you will exchange yourself for him! The hundred-dollar bill thought for a while and said, "Tear it, you don't even have 5 yuan after tearing it!" ”

2. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton; The earthworm mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces and played mahjong; Father Earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother Earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?

You'll die if you chop it so hard! Father Earthworm said weakly, "....Suddenly I want to play football.

4. Tortoise and rabbit race. The rabbit quickly ran to the front. The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly, very slowly.

Say to him, "Come up, and I will carry you." And then.

And the snail came up. After a while. The turtle saw another ant.

Say to him, "Come up also." So the ants came up too.

After the ants come up. See the snail above. Said a word to him:

Hello! Do you know what snails say? The snail said:

Hurry up, this turtle is so fast.

5. There was a couple of men and women who were having dinner, and the girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me? The boy glanced at the girl and went on to dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me? The boy finally said:

Love! The girl asked again: Then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took out thirty dollars from his pocket and asked the girl, "Do you have ten dollars?" The girl took ten dollars and gave it to the boy.

The boy put forty dollars on the table, and after a while. The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me!

The boy said, "I've proven it!" Forty is in front of you!

I'm wearing socks. Mom said, "What socks are you wearing when they're on fire?" After five minutes, the son still hadn't come out.

The mother shouted nervously, "Son, what are you doing?" Come out soon, it's all on fire, and it's still inside. The son said, "I'm taking off my socks."

7. A man went fishing by the river, first put on a leaf, and he didn't catch a fish for a long time, so he changed a piece of bread and didn't catch a fish for half a day, and he had no choice but to change the earthworm, and he still didn't catch a fish for half a day

In anger, he took out a 100-yuan big fry and threw it into the water and scolded:

What to eat! Buy it yourself! ”

Dad tells stories to his son.

Dad: Once upon a time there was a frog.

Son: Is there any science fiction point?

Dad: Once upon a time there was a frog in space.

Son: Mom isn't here, tell me about a restrictive one.

Dad: Once upon a time there was a frog in space with no clothes on.

There was a boy named Xiaoqian and a girl named Xiaobei, and on a bright night they became Xiaoqing.

Once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died!

Child: Mom, can I play CF?

Mom: Yes, but don't play with Blast!

Child: Why?

Mother: You can't keep B!!

Child:..

Just call me the Red Scarf.

One day, a mosquito bit a drunken man and flew away with a proud horn. But it didn't take long to fly before he hit Ling Jian headlong and was stuck on a spider's web. But the little mosquito was not only not afraid, but yelled at the spider, you put this broken bed in my way, take it away.

That's when the spider spoke. Usually you hide when you see me. Today.

Before he finished speaking, the little mosquito dwelled and snored. Spider Chunhui slapped the spider and yelled at the mosquito You actually drunk driving. You'll have to detain your little wings for six months.

You're grounded.