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After going abroad, almost all of my friends from high school were cut off, and no matter how good the friendship was, it couldn't beat the 13-hour time difference! At first, there was some contact for a month or two, but then it slowly thinned out, and in the end it was almost completely cut off.
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No matter how good a friendship is, it can't withstand the wear and tear of distance and time. One of the close friendships I gained came from a few classmates in the third year of junior high school. There are only 7 girls in the dormitory where I live, and because there are few people, each of us is very familiar with each other, and we talk about everything in depth.
It's also a time when we remind each other to get up, we eat each other's food from home, and we think about ...... future at nightAs we approached graduation, we agreed to see each other once a year after that, and we agreed to be lifelong friends no matter where we were, and to keep in touch with each other. After graduation and separation, we each met new friends in new circles, had different lives, and we seemed to have fewer and fewer common topics, and the frequency of communication plummeted, so that we only had occasional contact later. Later, we went to different cities to study, and the distance was even farther away, although there was each other's QQ, but there didn't seem to be much to talk about, so we kept a faint connection.
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At the beginning, you knew each other because of similar interests and the same three views, but the three views will change with your experience and circle, and when the three views diverge, estrangement becomes inevitable.
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Time and distance are terrible things. My former best friend and I started in elementary school, and the relationship at that time was not ordinarily good, we talked about everything, we talked about everything, we were so compatible. In the past, I thought that we would never be far away when we grew old, and we would all be together.
At that time I felt like she was all I was, and it felt like nothing could separate us. In junior high school, we were not in the same school. But from the first to the second year of junior high school, we can still meet each other for the first and second years.
Talking about various schools. In the second year of junior high school, she found a partner, and she didn't tell me yet, I heard about it from someone else's mouth, so I asked her. In junior high school, you will have your own friends, it doesn't matter, as long as our relationship is still good, it's OK.
In the second half of the second semester of junior high school, I asked her out to play, but she either refused or refused. I haven't seen her a few times in a summer vacation, and I can only see from the space that I either went out with her object or with her junior high school classmates. Slowly, I became lazy and stopped looking for her.
In less than three months, we were like strangers, and we didn't contact each other, and what the other party did could only be seen from social software, and I also found that she had a lot of friends around her, and I didn't know what to say to her, and she didn't want to listen to her when she told her what was on her mind.
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The circles are different, and I can't fit in. When you live in different circles, you talk about and focus on different things. How else can we be friends together?
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Gradually, everyone has their own things to do, and ...... busyWhen you look for him, "I'm not available." "When he was looking for you," I was busy......"Even if we meet and chat again, I don't feel familiar anymore, and I don't know what to talk about. Then, it fades.
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Time, distance, and many family factors after marriage, not in the same circle. It's okay when you're not married, maybe you're on call, and when you get married and have children and husbands, you think about other people's feelings.
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It is the gap between social resources and status and knowledge that has widened! He can't understand your distress, and his hesitation is a disguised show off to you. The two of them had nothing to say, they could only reminisce about the past, until they were chewed repeatedly in the past, light and tasteless, and they were embarrassed, afraid of being accused of snobbery, and they had to barely maintain the affection of praise.
Just ask you if you're tired?
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The only thing that can be done is time. Even if you don't know each other for a long time, you will gradually become estranged, we walk on different paths, we can't really communicate with each other, and with the passage of time, the beauty of the past will slowly be buried. We all thought we would exist forever, and we made vows only until we could no longer keep up with the other side.
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It seems that there should be a lot to ask, but in my heart, I still can't ask when the words come to my mouth, and I suddenly have a thought that I don't want to ask. So many years of rustiness are only what these few questions can fill, and no matter how much you know, it is only the answer to these questions.
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1.Changes in lifestyles and hobbies: Over time, people's lifestyles and interests may change, which can lead to disagreements and estrangements between you and your best friend.
2.Change in location: If you and your best friend's location changes, such as if you have moved to a different city or country, it may become more difficult for you to connect with each other.
3.Busy lives: If you and your best friend are both busy, it can be difficult to find time to meet or keep in touch, which can cause your relationship to become distant.
4.Changes in relationships: If there are changes in your relationship with your best friend, such as if they make new friends or lovers, then your relationship may be affected.
5.Change in the way you communicate: If the way you communicate with your best friend changes, such as from face-to-face to social**, the connection between you may become more superficial.
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Because there is already a big gap between you on the ideological level, the economic level, and the spiritual level.
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There are many reasons why good friends can get apart, whether it's because of personality differences, or because they're separated, or because they don't have much contact. Whether it is friends or relatives around them, in fact, in the end, they all have their own ways to go, and they are completing their studies, completing their dreams, and pursuing their own lives. For example, the friends you made when you were a student are likely to be separated after graduation, and it is very difficult to maintain a relationship only online.
Because after all, you can't show up in time when your friends need it, and you can't find each other when you need them. It is easy to cause the feelings to fade away. Therefore, there is a high probability that the most annihilated bi will gradually become less connected, and each of them will have a new life and a new beginning, new friends, and so on in the cities where they live.
Slowly, the old people seem to be slowly forgotten or no longer relevant. Or even if both friends are often together, but because of the incompatibility of personalities in the end, or because one party has their own plans and priorities in life, it is easy to cause the relationship between friends to fade. For example, studying hard or working hard leads to neglecting friends.
Or make new and better friends. In short, there are many reasons for the final dispersal of good friends, but in the final analysis, it may be that the fate is too shallow and the feelings are not deep enough. Let go of those who have dispersed, and those who have left footprints in their own world, just remember.
If you leave, you don't have to regret it. After all, there are very few people in this world who can accompany you for a long, long time, or even to the end.
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At different times, we will meet different people and make different friends. As time goes by, you will drift away from your former best friends, and your relationship with each other will gradually fade. ......There are many reasons why this is the case.
Specifically, it includes the gradual estrangement of friends due to different concepts, the fact that different living and working environments make each other less and less common language, and the change of identity and status between friends will affect the relationship between friends.
1. Different concepts will lead to the gradual estrangement of the relationship between friends.
When I first made friends, I was like-minded with him, and the communication was smooth and the relationship was close. ......But as we get older, our perceptions change, and we no longer have the same or similar perceptions of each other as they used to. ......This change in perception will make the relationship between himself and his friend Shi Paoling less close, and even drift apart.
2. Different working and living environments make the common language between friends less and less.
When we graduate, we will enter the workforce and start our working life. Since different people will choose different work statuses, the work and life conditions of each of us will have very big changes. ......This change in the working and living environment will directly make us have less and less common language with our friends, and it will become more and more difficult for us to communicate smoothly with each other, so that our relationship with our former good friends will become weaker and weaker, or even no longer interact.
3. Changes in identity and status between each other will affect the relationship between friends.
When you make a good friend, you must be the same or similar to each other in terms of identity and status. Only in this way can two people communicate smoothly and become friends. ......However, as one's work experience changes, the gap between friends in terms of identity and status will become wider and wider, which will lead to more and more difficult communication between each other, and once good friends will gradually become estranged from each other, and eventually become strangers.
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Now there are always some people who feel that as they grow older. In the process of growing up, they will slowly drift away from some good friends around them. So they want to know why they grow up and gradually drift away from some good friends.
Indeed, many people have found such a problem. Maybe for a small number of people, it's because when they were young, they probably got along with each other every day. So it makes their friendship deeper, but we know that when we grow up, everyone has their own job, their own life.
Even we have our own family. So we can't just play with each other every day. There is not so much time to spend with each other and build a deeper relationship.
So we see that maybe this makes some people their friendship slowly fade away.
Others may be getting older, and their material requirements are getting higher and higher, and they find that their original friends can no longer satisfy them. Because it turns out that these friends may not be able to help them in any way. So they made some new friends, and these old friends have slowly become more and more estranged.
While it is true that we see some people growing up and drifting away from their former best friends, we actually see that most of the people around us still have good relationships with their former friends.
Because we know that good friends are for life. Especially those friends who have played since childhood. It is also a mutual familiarity and understanding.
In the end, we will be more intimate with our friends. Even as long as we encounter any problems and difficulties, they will care and help us at the first time, and it is with the care and help of good friends that we can face any problems and difficulties. In the end, we never get on the road with our friends, but get closer and closer.
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There are usually several reasons for drifting away from your former best friend:
1.Life trajectories are different. Different life trajectories, such as changes in geographical location, changes in work environment, changes in hobbies, etc., will lead to fewer opportunities for two people to interact and then become estranged. This is a relatively natural process and is difficult to avoid.
2.Feelings deteriorate. Feelings will change in the long-term accumulation, when the feelings for each other from the initial enthusiasm gradually tend to be indifferent or misunderstanding, if not repaired in time, it will eventually lead to estrangement.
It will take the efforts of both parties to rebuild the relationship, otherwise it will be difficult to avoid the result of drifting apart.
3.Values are different. People's values change as they grow up, and when there is a big difference between two people in some important life choices or judgment principles, this difference may affect the relationship and eventually lead to estrangement. This requires mutual tolerance and understanding on both sides to resolve it.
4.Conflict of interest. In the process of dating, it is inevitable that there will be certain conflicts of interest or contradictions, and if not handled properly, this will affect the relationship, which in turn will lead to estrangement. This requires more communication and compromise to resolve differences.
5.Insufficient investment. When one party is too invested in life, and the other party's investment is obviously insufficient, this imbalance will also affect the relationship, making people dissatisfied and choose to be estranged.
This requires reminding the other person of the importance of the relationship and making sufficient commitment to it.
Therefore, it is a pity to be estranged from your former best friend, but it often happens for its own objective reasons. The key to avoiding this outcome is to communicate carefully, understand differences in values, properly resolve conflicts of interest, and engage both parties to maintain relationships and cherish past friendships. Only when two people work together will the relationship last.
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First, when we grew up, the two of us went to different schools.
My good friend and I have always been in the same school from elementary school to high school, so the relationship between the two of us is very iron. Before college, we liked to share our little secrets with each other, and we liked to go out shopping together on Sundays, and we were able to go to each other's houses to sleep when we got home. But this intimacy came to an abrupt end when we went to college.
After the college entrance examination, I chose to go to college in my hometown, while my good friend went to the north to study, and the two of us were able to keep in touch more frequently in our freshman year, but after our sophomore year, our contact gradually decreased. The two of us are busy with each other's affairs and have new friends around us, not to mention that we can only see each other during the winter and summer vacations throughout the year, so the relationship is gradually fading.
Second, my good friend is in love.
After going to college, she decisively fell in love with a boy in the north, and at first she didn't tell me that she had a boyfriend, and I knew that the news of her relationship came from other friends. It is precisely because she is in a relationship that when we come home from vacation and get together, she is either chatting with her boyfriend or talking to me about her boyfriend all the time. She would rather play games with her boyfriend online than go shopping with me.
In such a situation, I gradually reduced the frequency of looking for her, so the contact between the two of us became weaker and weaker.
Third, there are no common interests and hobbies.
In fact, before high school, the two of us had the same interests and hobbies. However, when we go to university, we may experience more things, the circle of contacts has become larger, and our social experience has gradually increased, and we can now maintain a normal attitude towards the things we liked before. So as time went on, the two of us often talked awkwardly when we were together, and she always liked to tell me interesting things about some of his classmates in his class, but I didn't know his classmates at all; And I always talk to him about my idol, and she doesn't like to chase stars.
Because we didn't put enough time and energy into maintaining the friendship between the two of us, our former intimate relationship is now estranged.
Two people who don't like each other become good friends in an instant when they hate a third person at the same time...
I'd still mind something like that. Because although the girl is the injured party, I can't accept such a thing psychologically.
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