Jokes about miswritten or mispronounced words in life

One day, Xiao Ming came to the stage to give a speech, and because he was too nervous, he was going to talk about "Maple Leaf Red". As a result, he came to the stage and said, "Momiji is crazy!!

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, 1+1=?."Xiao Ming said

I don't know. The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family."

Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, his mother was arguing with others, Xiao Ming asked: "Mom 1+1=?" Mom said

Bastard! "Xiao Ming knows that 1+1 = bastard; Xiao Ming went to ask his father again, his father was drinking beer, and Xiao Ming asked, "Dad 1+1=?"

Dad said, "Cool! "Xiao Ming knows again that 1+1 = cool; Xiao Ming went to ask his grandfather again, his grandfather was watching TV, Xiao Ming asked:

Grandpa 1+1=? Grandpa said, "Gangster boss!

Xiao Ming knew that 1+1 = gang boss; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister was singing the national anthem: People who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knew that 1+1 = people who rose up and did not want to be slaves; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister was singing a nursery rhyme:

The little rabbit obediently opens the door! Xiao Ming knew that 1+1 = the little rabbit obediently opened the door. The next day, the teacher asked:

Xiao Ming 1+1=? Xiao Ming said, "Bastard."

"Smack" The teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably

Who taught you? Xiao Ming said: "Gangster boss."

The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiao Ming sang:

People who rise up and do not want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out of the door, and Xiao Ming knocked on the door and sang: The little rabbit obediently opened the door.

The teacher fainted.

The joke that reads the wrong word is as follows:

1. When I was a child, my mother told a joke that someone read "ashamed" as "gradually (seeing) a ghost".

2. When I was a child, I used to read "Laoshan Taoist" as "Shanlao Mountain Daotu".

3. When my younger brother was a child, he always read "stingy" as "riding the wall"; "Miser" is read as "wall-riding".

4. Two days ago, a primary school classmate came to play with me, and she said that dropping out of school was "falling" from school.

5. I remember that at a national journalists' festival party, a female host read the singing as a "pit".

6. When we were singing karaoke at home, a little girl in the third grade of elementary school next door said that she wanted to sing a song with me: "Prayer". Limb Kai.

7. I've heard people say in more than one place: What do you want to drink? Is it okay to "stare" the juice (clear juice)? There are also those who call tempeh beans "drums".

8. The third tone (Chu) should be pronounced at the place of treatment; The twists and turns of the song should be read in the first sound (body) branch hunger; Say the third tone as much as you can; The marrow of the bone marrow should be pronounced with the third sound (none of the kanji has the same pronunciation).

9. When I was in high school, the principal shouted on the school radio: "It's done!" ”。

10. Reading or writing articles, students have written wrong, and the strong "strength" is written at the same end, and the teacher will laugh when he sees it.

11. A chemistry teacher in Mengchang of the school saw the gardenia blooming and shouted: "The devil flower is so fragrant!" ”

1. A certain student likes to write typos, and always writes the break as drinking.

He wrote in his diary: "The squad leader instructed us to carry the dung, and everyone worked so hard that no one dared to drink it." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the squad leader's back. ”

2. A cleaner in a certain unit, Amei, is smart and diligent, but she only has a third-grade education and often writes some typos.

On that day, during the general health inspection of the unit, Amei used a mop to mop the floor of the medical laboratory clean. Because she was worried that others would step on it when they went in, she wrote a note and pasted it at the door: Please don't enter, I'm very clean, Amei.

One day, my classmate wrote a blow as eating gas. As a result, our teacher asked him to come and put on a show.

Director Hu always made mistakes, mispronounced the wrong sounds, and made jokes, but he never learned with an open mind.

Once, when the unit held a commendation meeting, he read Feng Jianguo as Ma Jianguo, which caused laughter, and he estimated that he had read something wrong.

Do you need someone to provide a joke?

The newly appointed magistrate is from Shandong, and because he wants to hang up the account, he said to his master: "You go and buy me two bamboo poles." ”

The master heard the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect as "pig liver", hurriedly agreed, hurriedly ran to the butcher shop, and said to the shopkeeper: "The new county master wants to buy two pork livers, you are an understanding person, you should know it in your heart!" ”

The shopkeeper was a clever man, and immediately cut two pork livers and presented another pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought to himself: "The master asked me to buy pork liver, and of course this pig ear is mine......."So he wrapped the ears and stuffed them in his pockets. When he returned to the county office, he said to the magistrate: "Master Hui, the pork liver has been bought!" ”

Seeing that the master bought back the pork liver, the magistrate said angrily: "Your ears are gone!" ”

When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied:

Ear ......Ears ............ hereIn my ......In my pocket! ”

A father and son are illiterate and always say the wrong thing. One day, my son noticed that it was suddenly raining in the sky, and called his father: "Dad, it's raining, help me bring a half (umbrella)."

The book on the spear couldn't come down, and I saw the ditch screaming below, so it was.

The 100-year-old man and the 50-year-old young man play table tennis, the 100-year-old thief should be the champion, and he has to play, the 50-year-old thief circled him, who knows that the tower does not stop, angry, the 50-year-old thief has reached, and the 100-year-old has direct cramps, g.

One day, a classmate was endorsing, he said: "If you are not sincere, you can't be a man!" "The Book of Rites" (not refined, insincere, can not be moving. ）”

I don't do homework anymore. Homework can also be fried like **???

Singing the book. Hurry up, everyone is waiting for you to sing!

Campus arson. Call 110 and get this arsonist out!

Can it be a typo???

Some people say that the pronunciation is inaccurate, and they congratulate you as a pig and you.

One day, Xiao Ma didn't bring an umbrella, but it was raining, he asked his classmates to bring a note to his mother, and his mother laughed when she saw it, and it was written on the paper: Mom, I'm dead, send me my life! 〞