What do you most hate about what your parents instill in you?

Instilling that kind of negative thinking, like when I tell them about my ideals, they will say, don't think about it, you're not that kind of person, you can't do that kind of thing.

Girls should be gentle, not strong, almost pass, the reason why my marriage failed is because of these thoughts.

Obviously they did something to hurt me but said, "We're doing this for your good" and let me listen to them and let me go the way they think they should go, but this road always makes me lost.

Girls are all going to get married, what will it look like if they don't marry? If there is a woman who is married and does not want children, a woman just wants to have children.

You have to have a good relationship with your classmates, and don't fall out no matter what, classmates and friends are wealth. I never thought that it would be disrespectful to myself to make compromises and cut my feet to fit my shoes, and no one would respect you. Only then did I understand that a good relationship is based on respect, and respect should be mutual. ‍‍

My mother instilled that introversion is not good, so I always wanted to change myself, but I found that the person who changed was a person I hated. ‍‍

When I was trying, my parents said on the sidelines, "You can't do it, it's almost enough.""At that moment, I was really disgusted with them. ‍

"What do you call something you like? You can't make money from the things you like, and girls learn xx majors (accounting I studied) to work stably and steadily. ”‍

When parents compare you to other children, their intention may be to motivate you, but this "motivation" based on a great denial of you is essentially a form of verbal violence, as well as a form of mental violence. In the face of any violence, we must be brave enough to say "no" and establish a correct sense of self.

Even if your parents say that about you, it doesn't mean that you are.

1. Your parents may say that you are not as beautiful as others, but the aesthetic standards are diverse and vary greatly from person to person. Although there are certain tendencies, aesthetic standards are not set in stone. The presence of a certain type of woman or man will be welcomed by most people, which is influenced by the aesthetic influence of social culture, but it is not representative of everyone.

As for "you can't get married if you're not beautiful", it is based on the idea of objectifying women, defining women's success or failure as whether they can please men, equating women's value with marriage attributes, and ignoring women's autonomy and independent value.

Second, your parents may also say that you are inferior to other children in all aspects from the perspective of inner cultivation, and use other people's strengths to compare your weaknesses everywhere. If you compare your own advantages with the disadvantages of others, wouldn't it be a completely different comparison? Literally, "hating iron doesn't make steel" is actually devaluing you.

3. Appearance does not fundamentally determine a person's self-confidence, but self-confidence can affect appearance. We must first accept and recognize our appearance, and then tap and improve our personal charm, and strive to improve our inner quality. Dressing, living habits, speech and demeanor, and temperament will greatly improve a person's appearance.

Your own growth and inner strength are fundamental factors that influence your chances and confidence in striving for happiness. You don't need to base your value on other people's evaluations.

Fourth, if you are that unfortunate child, I hope you can look at your own strengths and understand that no matter how perfect a person is, he will also have flaws. No matter how many flaws there are, there will be moments of flashes; When you realize this inferiority complex and want to change it, you're already halfway there. When you grow up, you can try to do what you like, and interest is also a good medicine.

Be brave enough to say "no"; Try to say hello to others; Force yourself to speak up at dinner. Although every step is difficult, every step is a sunny Sun staring Wang. There are more steps, and the warmth is nearer.

Positive communication: Start by telling them "I don't like the way you do this, I know you want to motivate me, but it will make me sad" and tell them that they really hurt you.

Empathy: Compare them to other parents by imitating them, telling them that they are not as good as other parents, and making them feel your discomfort directly.

Propose solutions: If you tell them that there is something in the future, you can tell them directly what you want to do, or discuss it together.

Heavy stuffy traces of the point is honest!

Once you find out that such a situation is boiling, you can take the initiative to communicate with your parents, you must make your parents aware of your advantages, you must study hard, you must let your parents put on a correct posture, this kind of words do not need to be followed, do not need to listen.

If you encounter this situation, don't pay too much attention to your parents' evaluation, your parents are PUA on yourself, and they will affect their own internal key to take their hearts, and it will also affect their own development.

Learn to say no to this kind of mental violence against him, and establish your own tradition, otherwise you will always live in the shadow of others.

You have to learn to say no to their kind of mental violence, and you have to establish your own will, otherwise you will always live in the shadow of others.

If you encounter this kind of environment, you should not pay too much attention to your parents' evaluation, because your parents will affect your own heart, and if you are stupid, it will affect your own growth.

This is divided into age groups, and when Xiao Gao Xiangling was more obedient, he was a little disgusted when he was ten relatives.

Then, after I got married, I knew that it was not easy for my parents, but I would be grateful for the kindness of the hail family.

Because everyone has their own opinions, they are all independent individuals, and they don't like to listen to other people's various teachings to us, so there will definitely be rebellious and trembling emotions.

Because you feel that your parents' education for you is not what you want, and it is redundant, which makes you disgusted and hated.

In fact, the way parents educate their children should be gradually found to find the right method, the child is easy to accept, if the child is unwilling to accept such an education, it means that the method is not right, each child's ability to accept is different, so the education method is not the same.

The right way to educate your child.

1.Indoctrination of ideological education: When the child is born, I can slowly give him ideological education, educate him on what he can do, what he cannot do, what he can see, what he cannot see, and so on.

In fact, shortly after the birth of the child, as a baby, he was not fully developed, and Meng Qixiang was completely unaware. So just to hear, to see. Therefore we can speak to him and show him.

From an early age, they should be instilled with correct words and educated in correct thinking. There is a saying that if you hear it and see it, you will know it if you hear it more and see it more.

2.Do a good job of benchmarking: The so-called benchmark is the standard, that is, from the birth of the child, we do a good job.

Because children don't know anything, and they don't know what to say and what not to say. Therefore, as parents, every move we make in front of our children will have a great impact on our children. Because children are small, they like to imitate and be curious, so they will learn from adults.

Therefore, we must be a good benchmark in front of our children, and don't do some bad habits in front of our children and say things that shouldn't be said, so as not to give wrong guidance. For example: playing on mobile phones, swearing, playing games, etc.

3.Learn to listen: When educating children, we need to learn to listen to their ideas.

As children grow up, they will have their own thoughts and doubts, as well as curiosity and so on. Sometimes in school, in school, in society, we will face all kinds of problems, so we may do wrong things, and we may get angry because of this, beat him or scold him, and so on. Therefore, when encountering this kind of thing, we must learn to listen to the child's thoughts, do not forcibly instill their own ideas, as long as we listen, we can better know the children's thoughts, in order to better communicate, so as to avoid the estrangement and contradictions between children and parents.

As children, if we use this question as a recollection, we will definitely tell a lot of things that are difficult for us to accept. In my opinion, it is the way that parents continue the way that the older generation raised their children.

Because our parents are all "undocumented", they are completely confused about how to be parents. In a state of confusion, the methods they use can only be the methods used by the previous generation on themselves. The second point is that we parents often hurt our children in the name of love.

Parents often say: I do this because I love you. In the end, the reason why parents will instill their own concepts in their children is that they want their children to go further.

There is no parent who does not want their children to achieve something, and the reason why parents will instill their own concepts into their children is that they do not want their children to take detours, and they want their children to stand on their shoulders to go further and jump higher, which is what parents think. <>

First, parents are continuing the education methods of the previous generation.

In fact, many people who have just become parents have no experience as parents, they are crossing the river by feeling the stones, following the way of educating their children in the previous generation, for example, some old people are always afraid that their children will not be able to eat and wear warm, so they have been eating and wearing a lot, and some parents are also very confused about how to do their parents, and they can only use the methods used by the previous generation. <>

Second, parents always hurt their children in the name of love.

Although there are no parents in the world who don't love their children, some parents like to do things that hurt their children under the banner of love. This kind of logic of theirs is even more harmful to children. <>

Third, parents instill their own concepts in their children because they want their children to go further.

Every parent hopes that their daughter will become a phoenix and their son will become a dragon So no one wants their children to take some detours, so some parents in order to let their children take fewer detours, arrange them properly, that is, instill their own concepts into their children, I think this way is very inappropriate, it will only make children lose the ability to love.

First, the notions of parents are deeply ingrained with their decades of experience. They think it is good and always want to give it to their children. Therefore, I want to instill my own ideas in my children.

Personally, I think that the reason why parents must instill some of their own concepts in their children is probably because they want their children to live happily, and there is no such thing as their own old way.

Because they feel that they are more experienced, parents often feel that they know more than their children, and that their children can have a good future if they listen to them.

The reason why parents will instill their own concepts in their children is because parents always think that they have experienced more than their children and see things more thoroughly than their children. They don't want their children to embark on a path that they don't like well, and they hope that their children can listen to their own words, which is the best choice for their children.

Everyone has a lot of regrets when they are young, and they don't finish it for various reasons, and after becoming a parent, they want their regrets to be realized in their children.

Because parents are very controlling, they force their children to accept their own ideas.