Marriage, children, reality, how to decide? 20

History has proven countless times that only pessimists live long.

The conditions are not good, and you still have children, and when the child is born, isn't it with you to suffer? A good man, a man who plans for a rainy day, will not ask the other party to give birth to a child for him when there is no place to stand.

In "Snail House", Song Siming said that if you love someone, you must give her a happy life, otherwise, why do you want the other party to be with you?

In fact, when you ask this question here, it has already shown from the side that your love for him has not reached the point of dying, and you ask this question, which also shows that you are worried about the future.

If you are a wise person, then you should talk to him again and ask him if it is okay to have children first, both parties are young, and in the rising period of their careers, it is better not to have children first. If he is still so determined, he will break up without children. Well, if I were you, I would break up with him.

While the child is still young, make a decisive decision. Sometimes, it may seem like a cruel decision, but years later, you'll know how necessary it was.

The job is unstable, do you have a house? Let him think about it, after the child is born, do you know how much milk powder costs? Do you know how much energy it takes to take care of a child?

If his parents can help take care of it, forget it, if not, the child can cry if he wants to cry day and night, you are both tossed and can't sleep, who will earn money? There is also a child with a cold and fever or something that requires both money and time, the child finally grows up a little, and also has to consider the problem of finding a kindergarten, everything is unstable and wants a child, you two will suffer, how old are you? My aunt is almost 30 years old before she has a child, and she will have a child when she is stable, so that the child will not suffer with it.

Even if he suffers alone, he still wants to drag the child and you?

Sister, why does your boyfriend keep asking you to get married when his job is temporarily unstable? A lot of responsible men don't want to be in such a hurry, but it's also possible that he really likes you.

But he threatens you to break up if you don't have children, which is really too much.

From my personal point of view, he is unreliable.

However, your happiness should also be judged according to your own feelings, and other people's suggestions are based on your words of description of him, and you may not be able to see his true side. Is it? Don't pass by happiness because of other people's words.

I wish you happiness.

It is innocent to ask the child.

Things work themselves out.

After having a child, many people's subconscious will frequently pop up a special concept. This is also a very Chinese idea, that is, children are the bond that holds marriage together.

Now that the bond is there, why bother maintaining the relationship between the two sides?

The family relationship behind this idea becomes very delicate.

If the relationship between husband and wife is originally a growth type, and both parties know how to change and adjust, then having children will indeed be the icing on the cake and make a missing family more stable.

However, if the relationship between husband and wife is problematic or unbalanced before they have children, and both parties lack awareness and growth, then after having children, it is easy for these couples to talk about their children, and the children become scapegoats and shields for each other.

The real problem of husband and wife has been covered up.

In particular, those who often use "the partner doesn't care about the children" as a blaming statement, or those who try to drag their partner back through the children, actually use the children as the bricks to fill the cracks in the marriage.

Do children really have the ability to help their parents repair their relationships?

Not really. These children, who are frequently used to "glue the cracks", can easily replace one parent to comfort the other parent who is emotionally troubled.

For example, I often see women who complain about their husbands, and their sons automatically stand on their mother's side, take care of their mother for their father, and hate their father for their mother.

This child is burdened with responsibilities and pressures that they should not be able to bear, and it is easy for them to go wrong.

To solve this problem at its root, it is essential to ensure that the relationship between husband and wife is always higher than that of parent-child, and that we never give up on self-awareness and growth.

Of course, I also have the following suggestions:

1.Married life is easy to get into a mess. Parents can certainly have tempers.

What we need to do is to actively find more appropriate ways to vent or divert negative emotions, such as adjusting our emotions quickly through exercise, listening, reading, etc., so as not to let bad emotions affect family members and children.

2.Different stages of marriage will encounter different problems. Therefore, even old husbands and wives need to continue to learn communication skills, learn how to clearly express their wishes and needs, and understand each other's positions and ideas, in order to solve problems together.

3.Even if the conflict between the husband and wife cannot be resolved for a while, please limit the problem to the scope of the couple.

4.If the parents quarrel and the child finds out, it is best for the parents to apologize to the child in person, communicate with the child honestly, and help the child understand his own feelings or the cause and development of the incident, so as to gain the child's trust.

It is also best for parents to reassure their children that they will try to negotiate and resolve the matter in a positive and effective way, and avoid ineffective methods such as quarrels.

Getting married is not the same as going into a safe, after marriage, husband and wife still need to grow together, and if there is a problem, we must find a way to solve it together. In this way, the marriage can be long and happy.

<> "I don't think it's a matter of arguing that everyone has to marry or have children. It is a very personal decision that depends on each person's values, lifestyle, and personal choices. It is perfectly reasonable and acceptable for some people not to marry or have children, perhaps because of personal careers, preferences, or other pre-existing reasons for starvation.

Of course, it is also a very important and valuable thing for those who want to get married and have children.

Your situation is indeed very difficult, and your feelings are completely understandable. The marriage seems to make you unhappy and causes a lot of stress. Before deciding whether or not to divorce, you may want to consider seeking professional marriage counselling to see if your issues can be resolved through communication and understanding.

At the same time, you also need to consider your feelings and needs, and whether you feel respected and fulfilled in this marriage. Sometimes, leaving an unhealthy old bond with a healthy Guan friend may be the best option. In the end, it's a decision that only you can make, and you need to consider all factors, including your emotional state, your values, and your expectations for the future.

Wouldn't a person be happier?

If you don't have children, it's not difficult for you to remarry.

Can't conceive? Whose problem it is.

This is a very subjective question and there is no one set answer. Different people have different values and notions of importance.

For some people, the importance of a partner may be even higher. They believe that the relationship between husband and wife is the cornerstone of marriage and can bring mutual support, understanding and love. They believe that by maintaining a good relationship between husband and wife, the family will be more stable and harmonious, and provide a good environment for children to grow up.

While others may believe that children are more important. They firmly believe that the primary responsibility of parents is to take care of and nurture their children, providing them with the best possible education and environment for growth. These people believe that children are a product of marriage and that their needs and happiness should come first.

In fact, marriage and children are an interrelated relationship, and the importance of each other is interdependent. A successful marital relationship can create a stable and harmonious family environment for children, and at the same time, a healthy and happy family environment can also enhance the intimacy and trust between husband and wife in Liangzhou. It is important that couples are able to decide together on the priorities of their families on the basis of equality and mutual respect, and to strive to balance and meet the needs of all parties.

I think marriage is more important.

Hehehe. Because it's a lifetime thing.

In marriage, our children are an important consideration.

Because children are the crystallization and product of marriage. Sometimes we have to think about the growth and future development of the child, and the environment in which the child grows.

In such situations, we sometimes need to overcome our own ideas and then try to create a better environment for our children. It's also for the sake of your own future and for the sake of your children.

For a married person. I want to say something to girls who are not married. It is said that when a girl gets married, she is reincarnated for the second time.

It doesn't matter if you didn't read the book well. The most important thing is to marry the right person. First of all, be clear in your heart.

The person you want to marry is a person. It's not his family, his family background. Nor is it his personal relationship.

This is the most important point. Marriage is the most important thing in a woman's life. If you marry right, you will be happy for the rest of your life.

Brother Pingqing doesn't have to worry about food and clothing on the day. The old man in the family is kind. His own children are very sensible and well-behaved.

It shows that you are very happy in your married life. Opposite. If you look away, marry a particularly hypocritical.

Particularly lazy, unenterprising people. Then your life will be particularly unsatisfactory. You will feel particularly aggrieved and aggrieved.

Life like this, the more desperate it becomes. There is no hope in this man. There is no future.

That's why girls are looking for boyfriends and looking for marriage partners. Be sure to pay attention. Looking for one.

Come with a kindness. Have a stable job. And one more.

I try to go to the heart on the sail stall. Sunny personality. It's not time to summarize.

And a boy who is particularly responsible. Be a husband. In this way, life will be comfortable.

Find such a husband and live a life. You will be happy and satisfied. It was especially meaningful.

In this way, you will have hope for your future life. This is a married man. Advice for women who are not married, girls.

I hope for those. Girls can find one. People who love themselves, love themselves, and understand themselves.

Happiness to old age.

When parents attend their children's weddings, they are filled with joy and sorrow in their hearts, and finally their children have their own families, but at the same time, they have left themselves.

So in this life, maybe the first half of our body is indebted to our children, what we say has been used to, what about our children now, it should be said that girls should be rich, our family does not have the conditions for wealth, but we raised a rich girl!

The second, over the years, this child has a lot of willfulness, but I feel that she is indeed very brave, recently, I don't have time to tell you more, recently my child has fought four lawsuits in a row and sailed, in Shanghai, a person personally fought, all won the battle, very good! I was also very impressed by this!

The third, as far as my child is kind and also very easy-going, Na Yin, and the old people and children in the yard are all good, and these two days have been rated as the "yard pet" in this yard, and they all spoil this child.

The other one is this child, who is very humorous and very happy every day, and I want to see him happy every day, jumping in and out, which is a very good feeling.

That's my first point.

The second meaning, I want to say what I mean, is this marriage, it is a very difficult thing, everyone walks together and works hard, love is a sprint, then marriage is a hundred years of long-distance running, exercise is our endurance, we can accept this process of life.