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Read your narrative carefully. You also said that you are in your twenties, (I am about the same age as you, I can be said to be a person of the same generation, born in the 80s) is an adult, in other words, it is already the age of raising the next generation. Our generation, and our parents' generation, is certainly different and very different.
Why do I say, "We're adults"? An adult is a person who has the ability to cope with various things, and who can protect, take care of, and support himself. Most of the problems in one's own mind must be self-digested and self-discharged.
To put it mildly, people of our age are about to be, or are already the mainstays of this era!
To put it bluntly, you are so unconfident, you have much more power than you think! No matter what kind of family we lived in, it was in the past, and there was no need or reason to blame, resent, or imagine what we had ......done in the first placeAs an adult, I think we should take the initiative to take responsibility and use what we have learned and our own hands to create our own beautiful life!
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In fact, go out of the house to meet friends, find yourself or even the normal track, learn to listen and tolerate, illness can be cured, it is easy to treat, communicate with people more, you will naturally find that life is not as bad as you imagined, I am also in a dark period of life, but I still firmly believe that everything will be okay, I hope you are cheerful and happy.
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It's not a big deal to be sick, all kinds of unhappiness in life, you should face it positively, and take these as some elements to enrich your life, life is like this, birth, old age, sickness, death, suffering, without that is an unsound life. Don't always think about unhappy things, often chat with friends, in a word, you just don't occupy yourself now, and some things are over as soon as they go. Have fun every day!
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Find a guy to fall in love with and let him give you a sense of security.
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I think you should go to a psychiatrist.
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When you grow up, you should strengthen yourself, enrich your life, get along with more optimistic and cheerful people, and find someone who is worthy of your trust emotionally.
Some people have not been cared for by their parents since childhood, and their hearts may become inferior because of this. When they are young, they also crave to be loved, and when they grow up, they may want to ask for attention from others in various ways, such as the person they are looking for may be much older than them. A child who grows up in a loveless family can do things to make his life full and secure when he grows up.
In the career: work hard and work hard to create your own career.
As an adult, don't dwell on the sadness of the past, you will have to rely on yourself when you grow up. If you are strong enough, you will not be bound by the things of the past all the time. When you grow up, if you don't have the ability to live with your parents, your parents may not give you a good look at you at this time, and it will be even more difficult for you to live with them.
In order to get out of this situation, you have to fight even more, you have to have a good career, you can achieve material success.
Most people are realistic, and when your parents see that you are materially successful, they may change their attitude towards you, and you can enjoy the love of father and mother that you did not have before.
Emotionally: Find someone who cares about you and pampers you.
People who have not received family affection since childhood, they will also be more eager for affection, but you should also pay attention to the other party's family situation when looking for a partner, if the other party's family is harmonious, you live with them, you can also feel a different family atmosphere. The most important thing is that the person you are looking for must know how to take care of you, take care of you, and under the nourishment of love, maybe you can also come out of the previous trauma.
In terms of interpersonal communication: get along with open-minded people.
Talk more about life with well-informed and open-minded people, such people may be able to give you different inspiration in life.
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When they grow up, they may become more inferior, often passive in love, and may have a hard time getting along with others in society.
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When you grow up, you must find someone who can make you feel safe, and you must be independent and self-reliant, and strive to gain the love of others.
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Children who lack parental care need to be strong when they grow up, and it will definitely be very difficult at the beginning, but as long as they overcome this difficulty, they will definitely get better and better in the future.
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I think most people who lack father's love and mother's love from an early age are not very good at loving others when they grow up, because they haven't felt love, so they don't know how to love others.
Due to the influence of the family environment since childhood, they are happy to constantly tell themselves that they must be strong, if their hearts are not strong enough, no one can protect them, they have been alone in this society for too long, no matter what they encounter, they are alone to bear and bear, never feel the situation that their parents are silently protecting them behind their backs to solve things for them, they have not felt what it is like to be surrounded by love since they were young, Therefore, they can only get what they want by their own efforts.
Most of these people are very bad at words when they grow up, and they may want to express their love in the face of the person they love, but because they have not felt love, they know how to love others, but they will love with a kind of love that others cannot accept, so they are very vulnerable in the relationship. Once they feel the love of others for themselves in life, they are very likely to withdraw or dare not accept this love, and they will subconsciously tell themselves that they don't need this kind of love, and they can live happily and carefree for a lifetime.
Everyone is saying that an unfortunate childhood takes a lifetime to **, and these people who have not felt love since childhood, they will be very moved when others care about them a little bit in ordinary life, because they have not eaten sugar since childhood, so when others give them a little sweetness, they think they get all the sugar in this world. For such people, it is difficult for them to be able to accept the love of others generously. They will always take care of a lot of things, and they dare not easily step out of their territory.
This is their fatal flaw.
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Since childhood, there has been a lack of family care and love.
What will become of the human growth conference?
There is one thing in common, and that is "low self-esteem".
1.Afraid of bothering others.
When encountering things, I want to solve all things alone;
2.Have a slight social phobia, care about the eyes and opinions of people around you, for fear of saying the wrong thing in front of many people;
3.Don't dare to accept the other party's goodness, once you accept, you will want to give back to the other party with your best things;
4.It is easy to form dependence on a person, but there is a fear of losing and forcing yourself to become independent;
5.attaches great importance to privacy, often suffers from gains and losses, but is very sensitive;
6.When it is difficult to solve difficulties, the first reaction is to choose to escape;
7.Every once in a while, I feel that life is meaningless and my emotions are very depressed;
8.I am very unconfident, and if someone confesses to you, I will think that I am joking.
Hemingway said that if you want to make a man a writer, the best thing to do is to give him an unhappy childhood.
In fact, many of our problems and the root of our suffering can often be answered in our childhood, and what kind of person we become is determined in our childhood, but we never realize it.
In the child's growth experience, many parents usually meet the child's survival needs, but ignore the child's safety and social needs. This may be due to the fact that parents, in their childhood, were still in an era of material scarcity and could not meet their survival needs, and they did not receive a sense of security and love from their parents from an early age, so they also ignored their children's needs for security and love.
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The first is to be independent, and to rely on yourself for everything. The second is withdrawn and emotionally conservative. The third is paranoia, and the behavioral ideas are a bit offbeat. Fourth, the desire for warmth, the desire to be loved.
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The environment in which a person grew up in childhood has a great influence on him.
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Relatively withdrawn and does not like to talk.
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1. Impact on children's cognitive ability.
A family without love is a kind of cold violence for children, and a loveless environment can easily make children's cognitive abilities deviate. Not knowing how to distinguish between right and wrong, good and bad, will inevitably lead to children's cognitive distortion and disharmony, which will adversely affect children's mental health development.
Second, the psychological impact on children.
A family without love can ruin a child's true emotional experience of their parents. If the parents' own emotions are unpleasant, they will indirectly affect the children. A family without love is indifferent, neglectful, and tantrums towards children, which can easily cause irreparable wounds to children's hearts.
3. Influence on the child's personality.
Without a loving family, it will be difficult for the child's character to develop normally. Living in an environment without love, children will develop undesirable traits such as withdrawn personality, willfulness, jealousy, distrust, emotional instability, and poor interpersonal skills. The quality of the family environment plays a decisive role in the cultivation of a child's character.
Fourth, the impact on children's behavior.
In a loveless family, if the family atmosphere is depressed and contradictory, the parents' behavior will subtly affect the child and transform into the child's behavior pattern.
Because when children are young, parents are the children's teachers. Most of the children are learning from each other.
So, please give your child a healthy and loving family environment. Because the way parents behave is an example for children to follow.
5. Impact on children's learning.
Children who grow up in a discordant, loveless family environment, due to the lack of good care and concern from their parents, do not get along well with other children in school, do not like to study, and even often fight and brawl, cause trouble, and ignore discipline.
6. The impact on the child's future entry into society.
Children growing up in a family without love will cause them to accumulate too many negative emotions, they are more like a volcano, and some inappropriate contact will cause them to erupt. As a result, children from these families are more likely to have problems in school and society. Some issues that are inconsequential to other children can take a psychological toll on them.
As a result, it is difficult to adapt to society and cooperate with others.
7. The impact on the child's future marriage and family.
The quality of the original family directly affects the child's perception of marriage and family in the future, and most of the children who grow up in a family without love think that marriage and family are dispensable, which is why many people are reluctant to get married early.
Because they don't know what their future family will be like, and they don't want their family to live in a loveless family like their parents'. At the same time, they do not know how to deal with the intimacy between family members, how to interact and get along in a marital relationship, which brings a lot of trouble and pain to their lives.
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A person who has not had parental care since childhood is a very lonely experience, more is the lack of family attention, he will develop a lazy habit, more according to some of his own ideas to deal with people, but also offend some people, the character is also relatively straight, not will be tactful to deal with things, more important is these people, basically do not develop good habits, will develop a stubborn character.
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A child who has not had parental care since childhood is very pitiful, they will feel that their life is very sad, very helpless, they know at a very young age that everything has to rely on themselves, become mature and steady, do not talk about family affection for many things, and deal with problems with self-centeredness, right.
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, the relationship with the parents is not close, and there is a great sense of distance in the heart.
Some children are brought up by their grandparents from an early age, and they are officially disciplined by their parents after they go to elementary school, although they have been living with their parents since then, but the relationship with their parents has never been close, and there is still a great sense of distance in their hearts. In fact, psychological studies have found that children's attachment to their parents tends to be formed before the age of 6, especially before the age of 3. If parents give their children all kinds of care and care before the age of three, children tend to have a strong sense of attachment and a very close relationship with their parents in the future.
However, if parents are usually busy with work and cannot take care of their children, it is best to take them back before the children go to primary school and take more opportunities to get along with their children, otherwise it will often become very difficult to repair the parent-child relationship after the ** period.
Children who lack the company of their parents from an early age often have to face a lot of difficulties when they grow up, and the reality is very helpless.
2. He cares a lot about other people's opinions, and his words and deeds seem to be a good person.
Some students are usually quite friendly to other students, as long as they can do what they can do, they will personally agree, and even borrow money from classmates who have rarely communicated with themselves, they will agree without hesitation. In fact, this kind of child is a good person in the eyes of others, and such children often lack the care of their parents, especially when they are young, their parents may not be able to take care of them due to work, so the relationship with their parents is relatively estranged, so they will seriously lack a sense of security in their hearts.
Such children are often very unconfident and feel that they are not worthy of being loved by others, so they often reflect their personal value in being good to others. In this way, no matter what kind of request can not be refused, I am afraid that others will not like me, so I often force myself, often do not take into account personal interests, try every means to fulfill others, I am quite concerned about other people's opinions, and I am very tired of living.
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