Why do you feel stranger to your parents the more you grow up?

Yes, this is because you grew up, and you already had conflicts with your parents on the three views, and when you talk about your mother, the most cordial time is before college.

When I was a child, I was unhappy with my children, so I told my mother, who always found a good way to reconcile us.

When I went to college, my mother's concerns were no longer these, and my mother would ask me what my plans for the future were and if I had found a girlfriend. These questions put me under pressure. But I still pretended to be indifferent and shrugged my shoulders and told my mother that it was still early and there was no hurry.

After graduating, I went to work, and except for two days on the weekend, which allowed me to release my humanity, the rest of the time was miserable. Occasionally, on the night when I came home from work and was stressed, I would talk to my mother, and after my mother shushed for a while, she turned to the original topic ......So, gradually, I stopped contacting my family.

I haven't been home in two years. On Chinese New Year's Eve, I watched a movie alone in a rental house, cooked hot pot to eat, and I also wanted to go home, but when I went back and faced the seven aunts and eight aunts and parents who were waiting to ask me all kinds of questions, I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know how to explain to my mother.

As I chatted, I suddenly realized that I hadn't spoken to my mother in a long time.

Looking at the people around me one by one, whether they are returning to their hometowns to develop or staying in this city, everyone has stabilized, only me, still floating, and sometimes, it is really lonely. In a huge city, you won't believe it, I can't find anyone to eat in a hot pot.

So, all I can do is be in the circle of friends.

I kept posting updates like going out, eating, drinking, and watching movies to signal to my parents that I'm doing well and don't worry.

What they don't know is that in the first-tier cities.

I never lived for the sake of living, but for the sake of living. But there is no way, people like me are always unwilling to be mediocre.

Probably because when I grew up, I found that my parents were not as omnipotent as I thought when I was a child, and it turned out that they also had shortcomings, and sometimes they were quite annoying, and the more I didn't want to tell them when I had something in my heart, so I became strangers.

Because the more you grow up, the more independent you will be, and you will be farther and farther away from home, you can only go home a few times a year in college, and you can only go back during the New Year after work, and the number of times you see each other will become very small, and the relationship will become weaker, so you will be strange.

Because I didn't live with my parents a lot of times when I grew up, some of them didn't see each other for a long time, and there may be a generation gap.

Because in the past, you felt that your whole world was your parents, but now that you have grown up and have your own thoughts, and your thoughts are often different from your parents, there will be a generation gap.

Maybe it's because of a slight generation gap with my parents, because of the age gap. So I feel like my parents are a little strange.

Because when I was a child, I listened to my parents in everything, and as I grew older, I became more and more assertive, rather than listening to my parents in everything, so I would have more and more conflicts with my parents, and I would feel more and more that my parents were strangers.

Because they are very different from us, that is, the generation gap, maybe the things we like will be strange to them, and the things they like will be very old-fashioned to us.

This is actually the emotional bond between you and your parents when you were a child and you didn't have a particularly strong relationship, and when you get older, you will feel like this.

As you get older, there will be more and more differences between the way you recognize and deal with problems with your parents, because the social environment in which you live is changing.

I guess it was fifteen or sixteen years of adolescence.

The first stage: adolescence, at that time it was simply the same as the fire, fortunately did not meet the mother's menopause, I didn't want to go home at all, as soon as I went home, I quarreled around, talked about learning, said a bunch of useless things, heard it annoying, I felt that I had never been so annoyed by a person, at that time the dress was relatively non-mainstream, I felt that my parents wore rustic, in fact, I dressed like a big fool, and it may be better when I get to high school, adolescence is something that everyone must experience. It is recommended to participate in more group activities, of course, not to stay together, but also to communicate more with family members and teachers, and it will be good to pass this rebellious period.

The second stage: college graduation, culture and thinking have a huge surprise, consumption concepts, hobbies, love, etc., this time is absolutely understandable, not as rebellious as in adolescence, communicate more with family members, and even sometimes make decisions privately, do not tell your family, report good news and not bad news.

The third stage: the marriage stage, she doesn't like what you think is good-looking, and you don't like what she likes, the key is that they have been dealing with you under the banner of being good to you and you are still young. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after marriage may also lead to mutual incomprehension.

Moment 1: We often feel that our parents don't understand our tiredness.

Recently, I saw a Weibo topic, why don't parents understand our tiredness.

In their opinion, it is only when they do physical work that they get tired.

And our tiredness, in addition to physical, also work, mental, and interpersonal relationships. The life background of our parents is very different from us, and people in that era always thought about the problem simply and clearly, black and white, how could it be so complicated now.

Moment 2: We are drifting apart from our parents.

I suddenly want to ask everyone, how long have you not been in contact with your parents, and how long have you not had a good chat with your parents every time you have a meal with your parents. During this year's Spring Festival, many netizens shared the scene of leaving their hometown.

The mother of the child is worried.

Moment 3, good family affection is naturally based on mutual respect and mutual trust. The best family relationship should be that we don't kidnap and we don't need to be estranged. We share the joy. We can look at each other's difficulties in life with a healthy, benign mindset. ”

I didn't feel that my parents were becoming stranger and stranger to me, but when I was talking about marriage and then facing the test of life and death, I might feel that my parents' thoughts were incompatible with me.

When I grew up, I became more and more similar to my parents' shortcomings for some reasons. I feel that way.

1.The influence of a parent's trait or behavior. Sometimes, people identify with the way they manage their relationships; Other times, people may agree with both.

Therefore, we will slowly accept some of the shortcomings of our parents, and Bi You will become more and more similar to the lack of silver from my parents when I grow up.

2.Effects of compulsive repetition. It is not that there is no one else but our parents, and there will be different caregivers and significant others in our lives, as well as new developments on the basis of old patterns, rather than just passive "compulsive repetition".

We can't help but accept the shortcomings of our parents.

3.The influence of the personality and level of the parents. When the parents' personality level develops to **, they will bring the child to **, just like in the re-parenting process of psychological counseling, the counselor's personality level develops to **, and the client will be brought to **.

Therefore, the words and deeds of parents and the level of personality will affect children.

Growing up with their parents. The disadvantages are getting more and more like. There is no such feeling. But I felt that it was both a disadvantage and an advantage. Or an opinion on something. It's basically the same as my parents.

Actually, this is not difficult to understand. Genetics is one thing. But the most important thing is the problem of hearing and seeing.

Small children from. Start small. Spend time with your parents.

Always accept your parents' point of view. Although he may not have been able to speak at that time. Or rather, babbling.

Don't think he doesn't understand. He's listening, he's accepting his parents. Various ideas and opinions on her psyche.

Gradually, as I grow older. A variety of perspectives from parents. and lifestyle and so on were imprinted in his mind.

When you reach adulthood, you will gradually be exposed. Because before being a minor. He has a lot of opinions, but he still can't be exposed.

For example, in the kindergarten stage. School stage. These are all passively taught by the teacher, and many of his own opinions.

It may not be easy to express. Once he. Go to work and start a family.

After having children again. She's a lot. Perspective.

Practice, some judgment on things, and so on. And it all began to manifest itself. And there will be more and more.

I felt it at that time. Why are you so similar to your parents, in fact, you are very similar, but you didn't summarize yourself. I just didn't feel it.

A child's education. It started at a young age. In what environment did you grow up smart?

What is he basically like? Father Lu Yuan's mother is often noisy, and the child grows up. Or maybe it's just an angry young man.

I will often make noise when I encounter problems. Parents should be gentle at home all day. Learn to listen**.

Reading books and so on. Then when this child grows up. He's in that state too.

Therefore, a child's education begins from birth. Not to say wait. She's more than ten years old, and it's too late for you to educate her, it's too late.

Why do you say that when you grow up, you find that your shortcomings are becoming more and more like your parents? That's because? When you grow up.

You summarized all the shortcomings of your parents. Then you start to realize that you are a little bit like yourself. Actual parents also have a lot of advantages, but you don't summarize After you summarize it, you will find that the advantages of your parents have also been inherited.

Why are more and more people finding that their own shortcomings are more and more similar to those of their parents when they grow up? In particular, it is most prominent in terms of personality and behavior. Some people say that it is the result of the action of genetic genes, while others say that it is the subtle influence of the original family environment and education style formed over the years.

When I saw this hot search, I immediately remembered my parents.

My mom was an acute, emotional, and controlling person. For example, if there is a problem with her insurance and I am asked to communicate with the staff, she will suddenly be irritable and angry with me if she doesn't understand. If you miss a **, you will be crazy and keep calling until I pick it up; She kept complaining about why I didn't go to medicine or become a teacher, but she never asked me what I wanted to do.

I believe that many people are like me, and I have always thought that I will never become like my parents in the future, I will definitely be relaxed with my children, take care of my children's emotions, and give my children space.

I also thought I would avoid their shortcomings and become a better person, a more patient parent.

However, what saddened me was that as I grew up and worked, I found that I also had the shadow of my parents' shortcomings.

I get anxious when I have a lot of things at hand, I am irritable about people and things that suddenly disrupt my plans, and I want to be alone with the people I care about.

I can understand that no one is born perfect, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Parents are also parents for the first time, and they are also learning and practicing step by step.

Parents are the first teachers of children, the moment the child is born, is a blank paper, children observe the words and deeds of their parents every day, as the object of their own imitation, learning such as and become a person, over time, the white paper little by little to increase the color, and finally become an independent individual.

Yes, everyone is an individual, but don't forget that at the beginning of the bridge school, whether it is style or color, the children used their parents as the reference object, especially in some details.

For example, I hate the nagging of my parents, and I can't control the nagging of my children when I grow up; Parents are very frugal, and children will unconsciously control their expenses in their lives, etc.

Therefore, we will have the shadow of our parents in our character and behavior, both good and bad. It's just that in our consciousness we will pay more attention to our own flaws, bad places.

Our life is one topic after another, at first we studied with our parents, and later we had teachers, friends, and even colleagues and bosses. We have more and more "teachers", and finally form a unique self, but the initial template is indelible.

The teacher "teaches correctly, we succeed in the problem, and if we teach wrong, we will make mistakes."

Who wouldn't want to be a better person?

We are all acutely aware of these problems, but we have not changed.

You must know that in the face of problems, ignoring, evading, and resisting can never be solved, and we need to face them up and change.

From now on, it's not too late to congratulate Minjianhe.