Excuse me, who has hilarious jokes, who knows hilarious jokes

The computer in the unit has just been installed with a set of "automatic swear words" software.

On this day, my colleague received an e-mail: "The child is fine. The doctor said it was menopause. ”

My colleague was very surprised, because his child had just turned 10 years old, so he hurriedly asked.

It turned out that the original letter was written like this: "The child is fucking sick. The doctor said it was menopause. ”

An outsider took a 50 yuan ticket and dangled it in front of the conductor: Have you seen it? Have you seen it ? ...

The ticket seller was stupid, so he simply took out a 100 show and said: Have you seen it?

In the end, I figured out that the person wanted to go to "Jianguomen!" ”

Two, do you drink tea or coffee? Coffee. I'm the same, take care to keep the cup clean. Okay, you two wait. Waiter: Well, I'm sorry, who asked for a clean cup just now?

A farmer went to the city to string relatives, went out shopping, relatives gave a bus IC card, he used it for the first time, after getting on the bus, I took the initiative to show the card to the driver, and went straight to the seat. I don't want to, the driver said: "read the card", and he looked at the IC card and read it carefully

XX City Bus IC Card The driver said: "Go over there to read", he walked to the place where the driver pointed and read aloud: "XX City Bus IC Card ......”

10.When I was in high school, I took a labor class for the first time, and the teacher was an old man who introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan. I suddenly had an inspiration, and immediately continued: "Looking at Chang'an in the northwest, I pity countless mountains." "The class burst into laughter, teacher.

1. The company wants to hold an anniversary dinner, and the chairman asks the new manager to speak before the dinner and tells him that there are two requirements for speaking: 1Have the demeanor of a leader; 2.There should be a slogan of charging into battle. The manager nodded and agreed.

Before the dinner that day, the manager came to the stage to speak, only to see him raise his right hand high, and then wave it down vigorously, saying: "Ready, let's eat!" ”

2. The unit was going to hold a ballroom dance competition, and Lao Cao set his sights on his colleague Nana to choose a dance partner, although Nana didn't want to participate, Lao Cao still signed up for her.

The day before the ballroom dance competition, Nana really didn't want to participate in the competition, so she found a reason and said: "Brother Cao, I'm really sorry for you, I slept with a high pillow last night, and I fell my head today, you see, my head is crooked." ”

Lao Cao nodded, sighed, and said, "It seems that we can only dance tango." ”

3. Xiao Shen and classmate Xiao Li work as secretaries in the same unit. After a long time, Xiao Shen felt that the leader was better for Xiao Li, for example: the leader called Xiao Li "plums, plums", very kind, and to himself was "Xiao Shen, Xiao Shen", lukewarm.

One day, Xiao Shen and Xiao Li talked about this, and after Xiao Li heard it, he sighed and said, "Alas, ......."Have you ever seen a leader chase a female subordinate and call her aunt? ”

Why is sea water blue?

Because there are fish in the sea.

Why are fish in the sea blue?

Because fish spit bubbles... blue;blue;bule...