Why put yourself in someone else s shoes?

Because when we do things and think about problems, we have to think about all aspects. You can't think about problems, you can only stand in your own position, start from your own interests, and think, which is very one-sided. It's about learning to empathize and think about others.

Not being self-centered, like that is a sign of selfishness. And empathy, sometimes you can see other aspects of the problem.

To learn to empathize, this is what my primary school teacher taught me, so that I can understand the feelings of others, be able to understand others well, make myself not so selfish, and easily gain the respect of others.

People are mutual, and it is difficult for a person who is selfish and only knows himself to make close friends.

Because you can't be too self-centered in doing things, you can't always be self-centered, and you must take into account the feelings of others.

Thinking from someone else's point of view can avoid contradictions. We are all social people, which means that we inevitably have to socialize, get along with others, and deal with people, but in the process of communication, even if we have a tacit understanding, we will inevitably have differences in our views on some things or the way things are handled.

At this time, if we only think about the problem from our own standpoint, we will think, oops, what I think must be right, why does he always have an opinion on me when he and I always come against me, and what is there for him to hesitate about this obvious choice, and then our differences will become bigger and bigger, and finally the voice of discussing the solution to the problem will gradually be replaced by loud noise, and the contradiction will occur. However, if we think about problems from the standpoint of others, we will find that if we are also faced with our own self, we are also reluctant, and we will not have head-on conflicts and contradictions between mutual understanding<>

Also, by thinking from someone else's point of view, we will get more novel ideas and inject fresh blood into the way we think about problems. For example, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, when you feel angry with your mother-in-law, think about her after all, she gave you her son, of course she is picky about you, and in the same way, you can also take it as a warning, and when you become a mother-in-law in the future, you can also think about the truth you realized back then to avoid the rigidity of the problem. So, does this give you a more holistic and novel way of thinking?

Therefore, in life, we should be a person who is willing to be considerate of others and know how to think about problems from the standpoint of others, so that it is beneficial to others and ourselves, so why not?

There is no absolute value, only close values ......

It depends on how well you know about different human natures throughout your life......

However, empathy is not a completely positive energy. Don't think too pretty......

In particular, the "self-knowledge and acquaintance" in the Spring and Autumn Period of the Lu family is not only about understanding oneself, but also about understanding the dark side of one's heart. Because the bright side does not need to be understood.

On the other hand, the practical meaning of empathy is to understand why the other party is doing this, and find out what the other party really wants in a very complex environment ......of human interests

Here's a piece of advice if you're just trying to get to know yourself better through these methods (don't talk about helping others just yet).

Observe others well and observe ...... carefullyThat's enough.

Don't think too much about the rest until you have done the first point, otherwise you will be trapped in your own desires before you know yourself......

The so-called: There are inner demons in the cultivation of the same thing, this is the truth.

In fact, these examples, as well as the ones I am familiar with, are all such a model, because they are not familiar with a situation, they can bring themselves into the other person's situation through memories or fiction to understand and feel, and achieve emotional access.

But empathy is not so simple and so narrow.

The process was so simple that it took so little time to run through it in my head that I always thought I had mastered empathy. In the past, I thought I understood the difficulties of others, and I would not easily complain about them. It's just to understand empathy.

But is empathy an emotional experience? Doesn't empathy require brains? Is empathy just for understanding?

Now I'm trying to give an explanation for empathy, personal opinion.

Empathy requires strong observation and understanding, first of all, it needs to have strong information, which can be collected and asked, and then the other party's way of thinking can be inferred from this information.

There is an operational difficulty here, when some experiences are beyond our comprehension, then we can't reach a certain level, and of course we can't understand.

Take the biographies of the characters, the autobiographies of successful people are very popular, but the effect is very different when everyone reads them, because they have not reached a certain level, so there is no way to understand and appreciate some small and crucial details.

The purpose of empathy is recognized as to enhance mutual understanding between people, but I personally prefer and understand it as the perfection of your own way of thinking and spiritual world, because when you try to understand things with another person's way of thinking, you will break your original way of thinking, thus providing yourself with a greater opportunity to see a larger world, I think that attributing the meaning to yourself can reflect the meaning of empathy.

This is caused by human selfishness, because the selfish nature makes it impossible for us to think from the other person's point of view and position.

I always put myself in someone else's shoes so that I can get things done.

Can't and unwilling are two different things. If you are willing to stand in the position of others, but you feel that you can't do it, then your understanding and understanding of things are still biased, which requires long-term experience accumulation. Listen more, watch more, think more, and slowly you will grow.

At all times, everybody has selfish intentions.

Thinking about things from the other side's point of view is something that requires brains and patience. Here are some ways to do it:

1.Understand the other person's interests and needs: Imagine yourself as the other person and think carefully about the other person's needs and interests. For example, if you have an argument with a family member, you need to think about it from their perspective and understand why they are angry or upset.

2.Empathy: Empathy is to think from the other person's point of view. Imagine yourself as the other person, put yourself in the other person's shoes, and think about what factors might influence the other person's decision-making. This can help understand the other person better and provide better solutions.

3.Neutrality: When dealing with conflicts or difficulties, maintaining a neutral and objective attitude can make the process of dealing with problems clearer and more rational. Don't impose your emotions and thoughts on the other person, think and communicate calmly.

4.Communicate and listen: Communicating with the other person and listening to the other person's opinions and ideas can help you better understand the other person's position and interests. Sheng tried to understand the meaning and context of the other person's point of view, and get along with each other in a peaceful manner.

5.Find common ground: Finding common ground that is acceptable to both parties can help reduce antagonism and increase mutual understanding and trust. Find a solution to the problem so that both parties can come to the same page.

Henry Ford once said that if there is a secret to success, it is to stand in the other person's position, from his point of view, and to see things from his own point of view. This kind of truth seems very simple, everyone seems to understand, but 90% of the people in the world manuscript are buried in the world, 90% of the time they have left it behind, from the time you were born, all your actions are for yourself, are to meet your needs. Ou Wenyang once said in his book that a person who puts himself in the shoes of others does not have to worry about his future prospects, so if he asks others to do something, he must arouse the inner desire of others, which can be summed up in three sentences:

1. There is only one way to influence others, and that is to put forward their own needs and let them know how to get them satisfied.

2. Successful interpersonal relationships lie in the ability to understand the other person's ideas, and to take into account the different perspectives of you and the other party when doing things.

3. Be able to put yourself in the shoes of others and understand the psychology of others.

It is not necessary for us to reinforce the idea of self-guessing to others, but we must learn to think from the perspective of others."

"Put yourself in the other person's shoes", which is what we usually call "empathy", and it is an important principle for building a good interpersonal relationship, because if we do not understand the other person's position, feelings and thoughts, we will not be able to think and respond correctly. "Empathy" requires a bit of curiosity, but unfortunately many people lack this element. They either stand in their own position to "guess" the thoughts and feelings of others, or they stand in the position of "ordinary people" but think about what other people "should" think and feel.

Empathy is not only very important for maintaining a harmonious relationship between people, but it is also essential for any work Suiliang works with people.

When communicating with the other party, stand in the other party's position in order to make others listen to the ear and feel comfortable, stand in the other party's position, put yourself in the other person's shoes, think in their shoes, and put themselves in their shoes. In this way, you can not only make others happy, but also make yourself happy.

In short, no matter what kind of person you deal with, as long as you can empathize and grasp the psychology and needs of the other party, you can communicate smoothly.

It's a good way to think about things from the other side's point of view, and I think it's a good idea to "compare your heart with your heart."

1.Change the way you think. It is no longer from the perspective of 'me', but from the perspective of the other party, avoiding the narrow and selfish way of thinking centered on the "self";

2.Change the way you speak. Thinking from the other person's point of view, you will take into account the other party's difficulties, so that the words you say will not be so harsh and 'rushing', but will make people feel warm (it will make people feel that you understand me);

3.Improve interpersonal relationships. Be able to consider problems from the other party's point of view, think about others, and say intimate and warm words to each other. Who doesn't like to be empathetic?

How? The book introduces us to:

1.Change the subject. When speaking, replace the subject "you" with "I".

2.Positive guidance, encouragement and anticipation. For example: I would be happy if I could listen to your friends play a tune now, I would love to hear you play the piano......

Yesterday, I heard from my mother that the tenant of the condiment had moved all the goods and would not continue to rent it when it expired, but why didn't she move out directly without discussing it with me.

Thinking about it later, he mentioned the rent to me last year, and I thought the rent was not high at that time, so it didn't change, and he didn't say anything at the time. Just paid the rent, Xiao Wu is not the kind of person who bargains, and I am used to bargaining with others, thinking that if others say it again, I will definitely reduce it for him, but he didn't say it.

Later, he wanted to change the bungalow to an empty house, but a friend said that he wanted to rent it but did not agree.

Xiao Wu may have a pimple in his heart, so he moved out directly this year.

I kept thinking about this yesterday and felt that there were a lot of things wrong with what I was doing.

I didn't think about the problem from the other side's point of view, and I wanted to reduce the rent this year. But this was just a decision in my own heart, and I didn't explain it to the tenant, but because the other party mentioned it to me last year, I didn't agree, so he didn't mention it anymore. I just moved away.

Actually, I was going to cut the price this year. But I didn't stand in the other party's point of view, I didn't discuss with him in advance, and I thought that he would still ask me to bargain, but Xiao Wu was not such a person.

This caused losses to both parties, and it was not easy for him to move things, and it took a lot of effort. I'm definitely going to have to sit vacant for a while.

Just like before my relatives asked me to transfer funds to his son's engagement as a dowry turnover, I didn't think about the other party's point of view, thinking that it is so convenient to remit money now, so I was ready to send them a day earlier, when the relative said that he had already withdrawn the money in the bank with a regular pledge, it was because I did not remit money a few days in advance, during this period he must be very uneasy, because the money is not in his hands, he must be uneasy, he will be worried about the time in case something happens, (the bank can not mention the large amount, etc.), If he didn't have a bride price on the day of his engagement, it would be a joke.

So I'll find another way myself. However, I didn't think about it at all, thinking that it would be okay a day earlier, and I didn't think about the problem from their point of view. Do them give them peace of mind.

I want to rent a house this time the same thing, I want to reduce the house price for Xiao Wu this time, but I didn't tell him, of course he has a new plan in his heart.

I found that I was just thinking about myself, not communicating well with the other person and thinking from someone else's point of view.

Through this incident, in life, we should remind ourselves that when interacting with people, whether it is family, friends, or business partners, we must cultivate our ability to think from the perspective of others.