What kind of joke proves that you think it is the funniest

The duckling said: I am raised by a duck girl.

The chick said: I was raised by the chicken lady.

The little rabbit said: I was raised by a rabbit girl.

The puppy said, "You talk first, and I'll leave."

I don't think there's any joke that is funnier.

That's because of seeing your face.

One day in class, my classmate was caught talking small, and the teacher looked at him with raised eyebrows: "My least favorite thing in this class is you." After hearing this, the classmate said, "It's a great honor!" ”

The village woman reported the case and said: Shame on you! I was forced* last night. The police asked him what the man looked like. I didn't see it clearly, but he must be a novice, because he couldn't find a place for a long time, and finally I helped him in.

You'll never see the answer! Because you're dead! It's funny!

One manager said to the clerk, "The customer is God, and God is absolutely right." Okay, now you can tell me, what did that customer say to you? ”

Clerk: "He only said one thing, and that is - your manager is a big idiot. ”

Are your teeth so beautiful, and are they white?

The Earthworm Family.

First time: One day, the earthworm family was bored, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and went to play table tennis. The earthworm mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into 4 pieces to play mahjong.

At night, the little earthworm came home sweating profusely, but saw his father's chopped flesh and blood blurred and fell in a pool of blood, and the earthworm mother cried silently on the side"Why are you so chopped? I'm going to die!

Father Earthworm said weakly"I suddenly wanted to play football. "

Next time: Another day, a friend of the little earthworm came to the house.

The little earthworm's friend was very embarrassed when he saw that the atmosphere was stiffened by himself, and immediately changed the topic:"So. Uncle, do you like to play football? "

Xiao Ming likes mathematics very much, and he uses the laws of mathematics indiscriminately.

One day, the political science teacher said, "The same thing, sad and optimistic people look at different things, such as half a bottle of water, optimistic people think a lot, pessimistic people think very little." ”

Xiao Ming stood up and said, "Let me prove it" and wrote on the blackboard: Half a full bottle of water = half an empty bottle of water, according to the mathematical theorem:

Multiply both sides of the equation by a number at the same time, and the equation still holds, then, a slow bottle of water is equal to an empty bottle of water, then, water is free, and Coke is also free.

The teacher listened and fell to the ground. ~~

I listened to a joke in Guo Degang's cross talk, and I thought it was quite cola.

An old man has only one tooth left, and he is eating hot pot at home, and the old man has prepared a table of dishes. Eating and eating, I stuffed my teeth.

There is only one tooth left, why do you still plug it?

Because the old man ate lotus root, his teeth were in the lotus root hole. Ha ha.

After opening it, it will make you cry and laugh, absolutely enough.

Jin Yong's group of heroes beat Yang Guo.

One day, Yang Guo, who was in Class A for three years, forgot to hand in his homework, and his tutor Guo Jing asked him: "Why didn't you hand in your homework?" If you hand it in, you don't have to write it yourself;

It's written, but not necessarily; (accidentally broke Zhenlong's void bamboo, and glanced at Xiaoyaozi embarrassedly) will not necessarily take the test; (Zuo Lengchan, who was painstakingly preparing to be the leader of the alliance, sounded behind him) and may not necessarily pass the test; (The autumn wind blows around the white-eyed eagle king, and the bleak fallen leaves may not be able to graduate; (Li Mochou, who was dropped out of school by the Tomb Sect, his face changed) After graduation, he may not necessarily find a job; (Lotte's Linghu Chong was drunk and didn't hear it) can find a job but may not be able to keep a job (Xiao Feng rushed out of the door) can keep a job but may not be able to do it and may not be able to find a wife; (The master of the non-ring suddenly stood up) If you can find a wife, you may not necessarily have children; (Dongfang Undefeated and Yang Lianting were silent) gave birth to a child, but it may not necessarily be their own; (Duan Zhengchun's face began to cramp) is his own, and he may not be able to feed him; (Ye Erniang and Gui Erniang couldn't help crying) can live and may not grow up; (Tianshan Tong began to make life and death charms, preparing to repair people) grow big and not necessarily filial; (Shi Qing and Min Rou felt a pain in their hearts at the same time) will be filial and may not necessarily study hard; (Wei Xiaobao looked at Yang Guo coldly) will study hard and may not be admitted; (Guo Jing's face flushed) If you can pass the test, you may not necessarily hand in your homework;

So ......Ah-why do you have to hand in your homework, but after three seconds of silence at the scene, everyone joined forces to beat Yang Guo......

Xiao Ming put a note on the podium and wrote: When I came in the morning, I met a big dog, the dog roared at me, I roared at the dog, the dog roared at me, the dog roared but I didn't know it, so I turned around and left, I was happy when a group of dogs came, and it was the big dog that took the lead, the dog group roared at me, I roared but turned around and ran, the dog group kept chasing, and I was bitten and my body was incomplete. I would like to take one day off.

Detectives Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping, and the two camp and sleep under the stars. In the middle of the night, Holmes suddenly woke Watson awake and asked him, "Watson, how do you feel when you look at the stars?"

Watson: "I saw countless stars, some of which may be like the Earth, and if there are really Earth, there may be life. "Watson, you fool," said Holmes

Someone stole our tent ......”

One day, a little white rabbit came to a shop and asked the owner, "Boss, are there any carrots?" The boss shook his head: "No." After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away with a "whoosh".

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked, "Boss, are there any carrots?" The boss shook his head angrily: "No." After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away with a "whoosh".

On the third day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss angrily shouted, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull your teeth out with pliers! After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away with a "whoosh".

On the fourth day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and timidly asked, "Boss, do you have pliers?" The boss said, "No." The white rabbit then asked, "Are there any carrots?" Nope.

I know how many days have passed, a little black rabbit came to the store and asked the owner: "Boss, are there any carrots?" The boss shook his head angrily: "No." After hearing this, the little black rabbit "swished" and ran away.

The next day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss was very angry: "No, no, no! Ask me again and I'll pull your teeth out with pliers! After hearing this, the little black rabbit "swished" and ran away.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?" The boss said angrily

No. The little black rabbit then asked, "Are there any carrots?"

The boss was furious, grabbed the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer, and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth.

On the fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked vaguely, "Boss, is there carrot juice?" ”

1. A hungry wolf forages for food, and I hear a woman training a child: If you cry again, you will be thrown out to feed the wolf!

The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside the door until dawn, and sighed: **, women are **!

2.One prisoner was executed, and because the bullet was of inferior quality, the first shot was not fired, and then it was released.

Second shot. The third shot. At this time, the prisoner cried: Big brother, you strangle me, it's so scary!

3.After watching the black 100-meter race, an old lady wiped her tears and said: Scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot.

Kill, I shot without aiming, the babies were so scared that they ran, and the rope couldn't stop it!

4. Women have two outstanding advantages, but there is a loophole; Men, although they have no merits, have a strength.

5. Men often grasp the two outstanding advantages of women and use their strengths to make up for women's loopholes, which is called seamless.

One day, someone's boss looked for someone, but couldn't find him, and later a colleague told him that the person was in the toilet. When the man returned, he was reprimanded by his boss: "How could you not be there when I was looking for you?" ”

Boss, I'm squatting in the toilet and can't come out. The man explained carefully.

I'm, how to get out. ”

Clipping. The man said weakly: "Boss, it's rare." ”

1. A: How much is your annual salary?

B: 10 million

A: There were more than 800,000 that month

B: Yes, this is the base salary

A: Yes, what are you doing?

B: The dreaming ......

2. 1. "Happiness" is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters.

2. The "generation gap" is that I asked my father what he thought of "Chrysanthemum Terrace", and he said that he had never drunk it.

3. "Narcissism" means that I must be reincarnated as a woman in the next life, and then marry a man like me.

4. "Speechless" is when the judge asks: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money.

5. "Despair" is to order two dishes at a restaurant and eat the first one: "There is something more unpalatable in the world."

Is it?! "Eat the second"! There really is! ”

6. "Collapse" is that an old lady walks into KFC and says to the waiter: I want a KFC, a McDonald's, and a hamburger.

Three. What is a white-collar worker?

Today, I paid my salary, paid off my loan, paid my rent, water, electricity and gas bills, bought oil, rice and instant noodles, and touched my mouth.

The rest of the money in the bag, sighed: this month's salary is white-collar again.

What is a blue-collar collar? The foreman said that it was almost time to pay his salary, and he still owed his accommodation expenses, food expenses, lost work expenses, and medical expenses.

The boss is more than 100, so he is too lazy to get it, and he is called a blue-collar worker

4. One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does the river flow?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more sentence ...

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to shoot....

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Storm in Kyushu!

The blind man and the lame man ride in the same chariot, and the lame man sees the road and the blind man rides. Suddenly, there was a ditch in front of him, and the lame man hurriedly shouted, "Ditch! Ditch! Ditch! The blind man turned back and sang, "O-ho O-oh O-woo .......""Is that okay??

To give you a few things that happened around you, once a child shoe in the class caught a cold, and had a stuffy nose, and then sneezed, and the snot went out, and pia to another child's shoe face. . . There is another one, eating in the restaurant, there is an uncle who has eaten several bowls of rice and is still eating, and a little kid pointed at him and said, Ma Ma, you see that uncle is a rice bucket... Also, during class, the teacher used a computer to project a black man, wearing a jersey, it was Kobe Bryant's and said, at this time, there was a child who was very excited and said that it was Obama...

1. The man chased the bus until he got home and didn't catch up, and when he came back, he said to his wife that he didn't catch up with the bus, but it was okay to exercise and earn 1 yuan My wife was angry and said at the time, You are stupid, you want to chase and chase a taxi, at least earn a starting price!

2. Mrs. Mary went to court for running a red light. The judge stared at her and asked, "Mrs. Mary?"

Yes. You used to be a teacher at Westside Elementary School? Yes, how do you know?

The judge smiled, I was your student. Mrs. Mary smiled too, and became relaxed. The judge went on to say, I have been waiting for this day for more than 20 years, and now I will punish you for copying a thousand times, "I made a mistake in running a red light, and I will never do it again."

When I separated from my first love, it was because the two of them were too stubborn ......The year before last, he got married and invited me to ......Sad ......I went with 520I got married this year and can finally take revenge on me, and he followed 1314 ......