Why are people always provoked by emotions?

Clause. 1. Recognize emotions.

Psychology believes that the generation of emotions is not directly caused by the inducing event itself, but by the interpretation and evaluation of the event by the individual who experienced the event. This is known as the Theory of Emotions (ABC Theory).

For example, because you have done something wrong, you think you are incompetent and feel inferior. Here, doing something wrong is event a; To think that you are incompetent is to evaluate and explain the matterb; Low self-esteem is the emotional experience caused by the belief that you are incompetent.

The theory is that changing your interpretation and evaluation of the event can change the emotional experience you experience.

Clause. 2. Cultivate a positive mindset.

There are two things to do: one is to understand that emotions are a normal physiological phenomenon, and they are an external manifestation of whether your inner needs are being met. Therefore, you need to clearly recognize what your needs are?

And whether your needs are within your ability and whether your needs have reached the three good "I am good, you are good, and everyone is good"; The second is to be good at extracting positive information from negative events, any event will have both positive and negative information, people with low self-esteem see mostly negative information, and confident people see mostly positive information.

Clause. 3. In the face of negative events, we must adhere to the principle of four noes.

No blame: Blame stimulates the other person's self-defense mechanism and is ineffective in solving the problem. Instead, describe the event clearly and be honest about your feelings and hopes.

Don't escape: Only by facing it can you grow, and school boredom and Internet addiction are the strategies of avoidance when facing negative events.

Don't forget: The more you want to forget, the more you can't forget, recognize the existence of negative events, and do what you should do at the moment.

Seeking perfection without compromise: Seeking perfection means giving up one's own interests to obtain certain results, while not compromising is to preserve oneself without harming others, and to do what one wants to do and can do.

Clause. 4. Resolve emotions in an appropriate way.

The way to deal with emotions is based on the principle of not hurting others. It's like crying, talking to close friends, shopping, listening, exercising, etc. are all better ways, and the worse ways are drinking, driving, or even suicide. The purpose of detoxifying emotions is to give yourself a chance to clear your thoughts, make yourself feel better, and give yourself more energy to face the future.

If you have an uncomfortable feeling, you have to face it bravely, and think about it carefully, why are you so sad and angry? What can I do so that I don't do it again? What can I do to reduce my unpleasantness?

Will this cause more harm? By choosing a way that suits you and can effectively resolve your emotions according to these perspectives, you will be able to control your emotions instead of letting them control you!

As a result of the trapped emotions, a part of your body has begun to vibrate at an angry frequency, so when something happens that might trigger your anger response, you are more likely than the average person to fall into anger. In this case, we need to learn to release the trapped emotions.

A good emotional state can keep the physiology in the best state, and vice versa, it can reduce or disrupt a certain function. As the saying goes, "reach out and don't hit the smiling person", if you become easily angry, you will also encounter great obstacles in interpersonal communication, people like people who are close to the sun and full of positive energy, so everyone should be the master of their emotions, cultivate a happy mood, regulate emotions, improve the ability to adapt to the environment, and maintain a positive and optimistic mental state.

Because people have seven emotions and six desires, no one can be without emotions. Emotions are the most easily influenced by the environment, so you have to learn to control them.

Each of us is experiencing a variety of things, many things in life are not as simple as we think, when facing a variety of emergencies in life, we are most angry and complaining, without a little guard against the extreme bad mood, affecting their life and learning, so how to become a person who is not provoked by emotions, I think there are several ways to solve the problem.

The first method is to mentally suggest when you encounter something. When a person encounters a thing that makes him very uncomfortable, he will always burst out of his inner emotions, at this time he needs personal control, no one can control his emotions, emotions are generated by himself, of course, he needs to control himself, external factors are just the fuse, the root is still in his own heart, when he encounters things, he must first put pressure on himself and let himself understand what he is doing before he explodes, and then he will burst out of his emotions. That's when you find that you don't have any urge to lose your temper, and that's where self-suggestion comes in.

The second way is to have your own interests and hobbies, so as not to let yourself be precipitated by the world. If a person has his own interests and hobbies and constantly studies and works hard for them, he is immersed in the things he likes in his free time, so that people who live a fulfilling life will not be manipulated by emotions.

The third method is continuous learning and development, so that the problems can be solved in front of you. Another important reason why a person is provoked by his own emotions is that his personal cultural knowledge level is insufficient, if a person has all the knowledge reserves in his head, he must be thoughtful and thoughtful, and will not let his temper explode and affect his life.

The fourth method is to have your own goals and motivation to strive for. You can set your goals, work hard for your dreams, and think about your family and loved ones when you lose your temper, so that you will be more motivated in your life.

Our brains are divided into left and right brains, and the right brain is mainly responsible for everything related to the image. The left hemisphere is mainly concerned with the logical analysis of language. When doing anything, our right brain responds first.

Then search for screen information related to the event. If we can't find it, we enter the left-brain logic analysis. That is, when we do anything, the right brain reacts first, and then the left brain reacts.

And inside our heads, like a powerful hard drive, stores all the information we have from birth to the present. All visual. Feel.

Touch. Taste. Olfaction.

Hearing becomes experience and image form, stored in the left and right brains. We only need to learn to extract information from the brain to achieve the purpose of controlling emotions.

We will all experience joy in our lives and in the process of growing up. Anger. Pity.

Happy. Sad. Happy.

Leave. Compatible things. And these things are stored in our heads by our eyes in the form of video cameras in the form of images.

When we bring up the painful experience in the other person's head. The other person will relive the whole picture of his pain in his head. For example:

You ask a girl, what is the most painful thing in your life? The other person will replay the whole painful experience in their head like a movie. The more you play it back, the more real it feels, and then you go back to the scene at that time, and you can't pull it yourself.

Then she is likely to cry in pain and so on. If we want to make the other person happy, we can also mention the things that make him happy. The effect is the same.

He would also replay the whole picture from that time. The more you play it, the more it feels real. This is the simple technique of controlling emotions.

It is important to note that when we use the heart anchor technique. We try to speak as graphic as possible. Here's a simple example:

Are you eating noodles or rice or rice noodles today? Rice inside this sentence. Noodles.

Rice noodles are with pictures. The other party will answer quickly. Therefore, when extracting other people's experiences, it is necessary to use words with a sense of picture and language guidance to achieve the desired effect.

Well, that's how the general technique of the heart anchor works.

2.Compare the facts with the emotional intensity to see if they match.

Ask yourself: the impact of the current event on yourself, the impact of your emergency emotions on yourself, which one has the least loss between the two, is the reality really what I imagined? Is there some misunderstanding, I'm angry at the point of **?

3.Sometimes your emotions are not all caused by the events of the moment, there are many emotions wrapped together, then you have to open the emotional box and find out the many stressors. It may be that a sentence touches the bitterness in your heart, such as a lover who often scolds you with this sentence, or you often see someone staring at you with strange eyes, these will make the emotions play out together and finally explode, so be sure to regulate the emotions that do not belong to the moment.

4.We must learn to accept negative emotions, because no matter what kind of emotions are part of us, they are an important way to perceive the world, life, people's hearts, and human feelings. Negative emotions can also help you understand yourself better, because emotions are the most real thoughts and needs in our hearts, and emotional out-of-control can only mean that we have suppressed or ignored this need, so it is through this window to understand ourselves more comprehensively, in fact, negative emotions can promote our growth more than positive emotions.

1. Improve the flexibility of thinking and develop multiple choices.

Many times, we are unhappy and emotional because we have pushed ourselves into a corner. When your boss criticizes you for not doing well, you become depressed and even go back to your seat and fall and smash, which is actually because you are emotionally controlled, and the result is not only that the problem is not solved, but that the problem may continue to worsen.

Therefore, at this time, we need to cut off our feelings, judge calmly, and think of more concrete solutions for the whole thing. If you really can't think of a solution, try changing your mood and saying "thank you". As it says in various chicken soups for the soul – thank you to the people who spur you on.

Don't always get into the horns, learn to improve the flexibility of thinking, and find different paths, which can be a good way to reduce the impact of emotions.

2. Communicate in a timely manner, and don't push your dissatisfaction on the past.

Quarrels are one of the most common forms of emotion, and as both parties involved, once a person's emotions reach the "ignition point", then this "war" is inevitable. In fact, a quarrel at this time is also a good way to vent emotions. But what I am most afraid of is to "turn over old accounts" when we quarrel and say, "You are always .......""Last ......"...... last yearSuch old sesame seeds and rotten grains have successfully triggered a "world-class war".

Therefore, whether it is a quarrel or any dissatisfaction, we must communicate in a timely manner, especially with family members, and solve the problem as soon as possible.

3. Set the right expectations and don't overwhelm yourself.

In the book, the author proposes four kinds of troubles in life, which come from relationships, money, health, and the future. In fact, these four kinds of afflictions can be boiled down to one, which is the affliction of expecting too much.

We are accustomed to expecting too much from others, and when others give you a blow, we will be depressed and unwilling; We are accustomed to expecting too much from ourselves, and when we don't get what we want, we don't meet the standards we want to achieve, we will be resentful; We are accustomed to expecting too much from the future, always thinking that what we can't do today will be done tomorrow, but the result is often that we will still repeat the same mistakes ......These high expectations crush us.

Just like not watching an over-publicized and exaggerated TV series, properly recognize the reality, set a reasonable expectation for yourself and others, and you will become happier.

1.Proper socialization is conducive to maintaining sanity.

Of course, it is more difficult to contact others when they are grieving, because at this time, many people will choose to be "quiet" by themselves.

When we are in the midst of negative emotions such as sadness and sadness, we always think - my world has collapsed, but they live as before, they will not understand me, and I will make them uncomfortable.

And when we walk down the street full of grief and the people passing by are unaware, it makes us confused and angry. We may even think that the earth should stop turning as a sign of our grief.

However, when you calm down, you will know that the world will not change anything because of your sadness and depression, but rather that your depression may make your life worse.

2.Don't complain too often.

The most obvious characteristic of people with a lot of negative emotions is that they often complain. For the various problems and difficulties faced in life and work, they can only vent their dissatisfaction and helplessness through language.

Complaining may make you feel better, but it doesn't help you in itself. So, instead of spending a lot of time complaining, it is better to find a way to solve the problem with a positive attitude and overcome the difficulties through your own efforts.

3.Divert your attention and get your body and mind moving.

When you're trying to come out of stagnation, don't rush and run your inertial behavior first.

Habitual behavior refers to the most regular things in your life before you encounter something sad, those small details that you are accustomed to. For example, waking up early to go for a half-hour morning jog outside, or regularly going to a favorite place to relax, etc.

These habits were once inconspicuous, but after a major setback, they represent a kind of stability and a good beginning to re-establish order in life. Sticking to a steady habit that doesn't drain you too much energy is the most appropriate behavior in times of grief.

4.Don't always get tangled.

Although many people advocate "think before you act", many things are excessively entangled, which not only does not help to complete a thing, but will bring great trouble to themselves and others.

There is a good saying, "If you are interrupted, you will be disturbed." In many cases, people should have their own decision-making, and repeatedly entangled, which does not do any good to the thing itself, can only waste their own time and energy with others in vain.

5.Accept the reality and release the negative emotions slowly.

The practice of diversionary care can keep our body and mind moving forward in a positive direction, but the sadness remains.

Therefore, we need to set aside a specific time and space for it to truly release the grief.

After trying these methods, if you still can't get out of the negative emotions, then it is necessary for you to have psychological counseling and let the counselor help you get out of the swamp of negative emotions.