What should I do when my husband doesn t understand my efforts?

If you have no income in a family and cannot bring financial help to the family, then no matter how much you pay, it will be useless in their eyes, because they only look at money, and they automatically choose to ignore your work in the family. Xiao Ke suggests that you go back to the workplace and be a working woman, only then can your husband recognize your dedication to the family.

Women pay the most in marriage, and often because we have no income, we are always not understood by our husbands, they always can't see our dedication to the family, we can't see our dedication to our children, and they can't see that we choose to stay at home as a housewife because of them.

All they see is that we have no income.

Whoever makes money in a family has the right to speak on family affairs, and many times the family is so realistic, because whoever makes money will really speak hard, if you have no income, even if you do more things for the family, even if you are busy with your feet not touching the ground, they will not feel sorry for you, and they will not understand your contribution to the family.

Why do we women age so fast, especially in marriage, it is because after we get married, after returning to the family, we pay too much for this family, we need to worry about taking care of our children, but also worry about housework at home, but also worry about our husband's food and clothing, we need to take care of all the things in the family on ourselves, we are busy and have no time to wash our faces and makeup, and even because we have no income, we are rarely willing to buy a decent dress for ourselves, and we will always wear the clothes we bought in the past. Cosmetics no longer dare to think.

But we are like this, but our husbands still don't understand us, they see us getting old, but they never think about whether he gives us money to take care of us, they always dislike us for dressing too dirty, but they don't want to think about whether to give us money to buy clothes.

You don't have any income in this family, so you can only try to minimize your own expenses, but even so, they still don't understand our efforts, just because we don't have income.

Gradually transfer this dedication to yourself. It is estimated that your husband either takes it for granted or feels that it is too much. Since he doesn't care so much, then why do you bother to pay?!

Put more of the attention you put on yourself and your family, as well as your work and career. Gradually, your husband will find that you are different from before, and he will gradually put away the original incomprehension, and if you do something to him at this time, he will understand you.

For example, housewives have a lot to do, but also to keep the room clean, and to cook three meals, but also to pick up and drop off children to school, although men are very tired when they work outside, but women are not tired of doing these at home, in fact, women do these things for why, one, for the husband can come back to have a clean and comfortable environment, two, make delicious meals to satisfy the husband's taste buds, three, be the husband's strong backing, grasp the housework, so that the husband can work with peace of mind.

However, often the more women do, the more men will think, isn't this what you should do, this is not to pay is not understood, so simply, change your life mode, pay is not not visible, is not not not understood, then from today I will not do it, out of this home, resign from the position of housewife, re-plan their life.

You must know that your behavior will definitely surprise your husband, be that confident, beautiful and proud self, and tell your husband, "Since you can't really understand and understand my pay, then I don't think there is any need to pay, I have to make some contributions for my own life seriously." I still say that it is okay for a woman to be a housewife, but she must not lose the ability to support herself.

When you feel that you have paid a lot for your husband, but your husband can't understand your good intentions. Then you should first find out whether your efforts are really beneficial to your husband, whether your thinking is deviated from your husband, and whether your husband is really aware of your hard work.

First of all, you should find the problem from your own husband. You should have an in-depth understanding of what your husband likes, what he hates, what he is most interested in, what are his strengths, and what are his disadvantages; What kind of people do you usually associate with, and what characteristics do they have; You should also understand what your husband is suitable for and what is not suitable; understand what kind of cognitive abilities he has; How does he view something, and whether you can agree with him; In-depth analysis of the root of what he disapproves of and what you approve of is in**. If you can get to know your husband thoroughly, you should soon know if your current efforts are beneficial to him, whether he likes them, and whether they are hard work for him.

Secondly, since your contribution cannot be understood by your husband, then try to stop for a while, on the one hand, to give yourself a period of rest, on the other hand, to give your husband a buffer space, maybe he doesn't realize that you are paying, it may be that he takes your contribution as a matter of course, and it may be that his understanding and your understanding have deviated. So, the most important thing you should do now is to stop blindly moving forward blindly and put your efforts on hold for a while. Let him perceive the significant changes in the way you give for him and don't pay for him, let him know psychologically that you have done a lot for him, so that he realizes the importance of your contribution to him.

When he really realizes your contribution from the heart, he will naturally understand your good intentions and will cherish what you have paid for him.

Tell him why you did these things.

You can sit down calmly and have a serious talk with him, and tell him that he is your only support, and you are eager to get his understanding and support in everything. You can ignore other people's opinions, and you can accept other people's incomprehension, but he, as your husband, should understand you. And believe that you do all these things to make your life better and make yourself better.

Let your husband put yourself in your shoes and think about what it feels like not to be understood by the people closest to you, because apart from your parents, the closest person is your lover. However, after getting married, in fact, the closest person to him is his husband, and they live under the same roof together, why doesn't he understand himself for so long, why doesn't he understand what you give. I hope that the two people support each other, even if the world is unreasonable, I also hope that the other party can always stand on their side and think about themselves in time.

Because no one will give willingly for strangers, since you choose to pay it must be for your beloved, since it is for you, why can't you understand me.

You can also tell him that you will discuss with him before doing anything in the future, and then strive for his understanding before doing these things, but I hope he can understand what you have done before. After all, no one wants their efforts to be ignored if they are not rewarded, but they are not understood, and then it must be very uncomfortable. So as someone who loves you, you should be able to consider your feelings and choose to understand you.

Finally, I hope you can get your husband's understanding, after all, communication between husband and wife is the most important, if you lack the most basic communication and heart-to-heart talk, it is easy to have conflicts.

Now I will live a special life, this kind of life in fact, I can't understand myself, I am not without money, but more and more reluctant to spend money, because the child is not good at home when he is young, so I want to save more to make the life of the family better and better.

At that time, I was not willing to eat even a baked cake, the most I made every day was Gadda soup, a bag of noodles was enough for me and the child to eat for a long time, the child wanted to eat the cake I was reluctant to buy, the clothes tried to pick up the rest of other children, so that you can also leave a part of the expenses, go out and try to bring water to drink, a dollar and a bottle of mineral water I think is a luxury.

That's how the days have passed, and now the conditions are really good, at least the money doesn't have to be too calculated, but I came from such days, I'm poor, I have to think about myself, for the sake of the children, and for the sake of the family.

But what about you, you think that a cake is nothing for 20 yuan, a piece of clothing is 3 or 400 yuan, and you buy children's shoes for 2 or 300 yuan, but when I am angry, you say, what is the price of goods now, and the money should not be spent.

Yes, prices are very high nowadays, and we make a lot of money, but have you thought about it, money needs to be calculated, not what you want, you think a piece of cake is nothing, it's only 20 yuan, and a meal of KFC is nothing, you don't need 100 yuan.

But do you know where our money comes from? It was from these ten, twenty, one hundred and little bits.

You don't understand that I am so good at living now, but I was not like this before, and now I am like this, isn't it also what you brought me?

I will continue to live like this, it's not that I don't have money, but I don't spend money indiscriminately, today I'm like this, tomorrow I'm like this, when his parents are sick and I take out the money, he understands everything.

Then don't pay, find what he can understand. Or do nothing, just do what you feel you can bear and don't need the approval of others. In fact, more than half of the things in life are meaningless things, that is, they can be done or not done, and sometimes they are not understood not because of how bad that person is, but from his point of view, these things do not have to be done, and you don't have to get his approval and understanding if you do it.

The tacit understanding between husband and wife sometimes depends on cultivation, but sometimes it depends on habits, and the habit he has developed all year round is not to do the things you think you should understand, so he doesn't feel much when you do it. Therefore, you can choose not to do such things for a period of time, especially when he is used to doing these things every day, and you suddenly stop him, and then don't do it for a lot of time, and don't ask him to do it, you come back and only do your own business, don't do anything related to the public, and then look at his reaction, it will definitely not be as indifferent as before, he will definitely take the initiative to ask you why you don't do those things? You tell him in a very relaxed tone that you don't think there is any need to do these things from now on.

Because if you don't do it, you don't have to work hard, and you don't need to understand.

This method is far more effective than you and him blushing and arguing, just like cleaning the house, the husband often feels that it is unnecessary to mop the floor every day, the wife does the same every day, sometimes the husband is extremely unhappy to help, if the wife does not clean the house for a week, go home and clean up the place where he stays, wash his face, sleep, read, watch TV, etc., and nothing else, when he can't stand the dust at home, I believe he doesn't dare to complain about you, Because he himself has not been very responsive to your labor before, if he is willing to persevere, he will persist until the day when he does it himself. I have a sister who does this, she never quarrels with her brother-in-law, and often uses this method to dry when things happen, and then make decisions and division of labor when the other party can't stand it.

When the husband needs to ignore it, first of all, don't be too anxious or pessimistic, you can take the following methods:

1.Communication: Communicate with your husband, ask him about his feelings and attitudes, express your expectations and needs rationally, understand the cause and specific situation of the problem, try your best to solve communication barriers, and build better trust through communication.

2.Give time: Sometimes the husband may need some time and space to deal with his own affairs or emotions, you can give him enough time not to be too intrusive, but it is also possible to pay due attention and care for his life and emotional state.

3.Seek help: If the situation is more serious or you need some professional help, you can consider consulting a psychologist or a relationship therapist, professional help can solve the problem more effectively and improve the efficiency of recovery and mediation.

4.Adjust your mentality: Don't be too pessimistic or self-blaming, maintain a positive attitude, look at problems rationally, try to start from your own point of view, consider how to change your behavior or emotional attitude, and make yourself more independent and self-confident.

In short, the husband's failure to do so when he or she needs it can lead to conflict and resentment, while a rational and constructive approach is more likely to solve the problem and strengthen the relationship between the couple.

Recently, the news of a man scolding his wife after a caesarean section has aroused my concern and thoughts. As a wife, if you meet such a husband, how should you deal with it? Here are some of my recommendations:

1. Understand and respect your own body.

First of all, as wives, we need to understand and respect our bodies. A caesarean section is a more complex procedure than a natural birth and requires more rest and recovery time. If our husband does not understand and support this, we can explain to him our physical condition and needs so that he understands that a caesarean section is not an easy thing to do and requires our patience and understanding.

Acacia clan. >2. Firm up your position.

If our husbands still don't understand or respect our bodies, we need to stand our ground. We can communicate with him, tell him what we think and feel, and make him realize that his words and actions have had a bad impact on us. If necessary, we can also seek the help of a family doctor or psychologist to solve family problems under the guidance of a professional.

3. Look for external support.

If our husband still can't understand or change his behavior, we can look for outside support. This can be a family and friend close to us, or a related organization or a professional. They can give us emotional comfort and practical help to help us get through difficult times, and they can also promote harmony and stability in family relationships.

Fourth, do a good job of self-growth.

Finally, I think that as wives, we also need to do a good job of self-growth. This includes knowledge and understanding of oneself and the world, reflection on the meaning and value of life, and adjustment and improvement of one's own emotions and behaviors. In these ways, we can have a clearer understanding of our roles and responsibilities, and we can be more determined to follow our own path in life.

In short, as a wife, if we meet a husband who can't understand and support us, we need to stand on our own ground, strengthen our beliefs, look for external support, and at the same time do a good job of self-growth, so that our emotions and lives are more fulfilling and beautiful.