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In fact, this question, as it sounds, has a bit of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship in it. Family? How can it be considered a Gu family? Do you have children at home?
Because the subject's question is not very clear, I will analyze the situation.
In any matter, we have to find the cause, find a solution, and it is useless to complain or complain about the other party.
1.Suppose you don't have any children at home.
Since the mother-in-law wants you to resign and take care of the family, then on the other hand, what she means is that she feels that you are too busy at work now, and you spend all your time at work and do not take care of the family's affairs, or you often travel on business and are often not at home, and what's more, after your husband and wife get married, there is no baby at all, she is just urging you to have a baby in disguise, and she is holding her grandson. It's just that the elderly can't speak clearly, so they can only be tactful.
2.Suppose you already have children.
If you have a child, then the mother-in-law means that she wants you to take care of the child. Spend time and attention on your child. In fact, this is also a big problem. They are all people who have come over, and when they see such a question, they all feel that they have too much to say.
It is said that the best gift for children is companionship, in fact, this companionship is not only limited to mothers, there should also be fathers in the family.
In fact, it is not easy for mothers in the workplace, they all want to set an example for their children, and they want to spend more time with them to grow up. But a mother who has no ideals and pursuits, accompanies her every day, just cares about her three meals and clothing, warm and cold clothes, what's the use, when the child grows up, the demand will be more and more, and they will no longer be satisfied with a sweet lollipop when they were children, they also want a spiritual role model, so it is said that you can't have both fish and bear's paws, and you must always give and take. What we can give our children is high-quality companionship and role models.
So, sometimes the elderly say this to her, she may also feel that she doesn't understand, like their generation, they think that it's okay to work hard to earn money to read to their children, and throw all the education things to the teachers. In fact, parents are the best teachers for their children. It really doesn't make sense, just ignore it, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are a dead knot, can't tell the truth, some mothers-in-law, no matter how good you are, she can also find fault with you, of course, there are also sensible, if you encounter it, cherish it.
Finally, you can also explain the problem to the gentleman. Relax yourself and do your own thing well. After all, life is a matter for the husband and wife, and the mother-in-law is just an outsider!
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It's a normal state of life. Everyone has their own thoughts in their hearts. Mother-in-law, also has her own ideas.
We can think of it from the mother-in-law's point of view, his son married a wife. Since his son has the ability to take care of him, the mother-in-law wants his daughter-in-law to give up her job and take care of the family wholeheartedly.
This is a very normal idea, each family will have a part of the people to bear the corresponding responsibilities, and then each person, in the family, the status and role are different, our traditional concept. The woman should take care of the children at home and then the men. <>
But in today's society, men and women are equal, not the same as before! Although I am not married now, if I were in the same situation as you, I would also feel that this kind of thinking is unreasonable, and each of us has our own attitude towards life.
I may also watch TV and watch too much, and there are too many stories that tell us that men go out to work hard, and women take care of their children at home, and the end result is not good. Although my view is one-sided, I also believe that women should take care of their children at home.
This kind of thinking is so unfair to us! Women also have the right to work in this society. Why, in today's society where men and women are equal?
There will still be this kind of thought, and women should be at home. Thousands of years of social atmosphere will also have a certain impact in our current society. In this case, I think it should, on a case-by-case basis.
Women should have their own job in order to have their own place in the family.
If a woman takes care of others completely in her family life, it is easy to derail from this society. The above is my opinion, I hope it will be helpful to you.
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I think this matter is decided by the results of discussions between the two parties, rather than doing what you want.
First of all, I think that if your mother-in-law does not have any major physical illness and no psychological problems, you should think about it, because there is no reason for you to take care of the family, you can express your thoughts to your mother-in-law, you don't want to resign, you want to struggle to make this family better.
After resigning, of course, it will be a lot easier to only take care of your family, but it is not what you want, no matter how good it is, it will not be looked down upon by you, I know this truth, so I understand you, I believe you are not willing, and I think that my mother-in-law is unreasonable, it must be my mother-in-law who gave you an order, right. <>
In fact, I hate this kind of behavior of the elderly, to be honest, there is a little suspicion of relying on the old and selling the old, maybe the old people are like this, but also to be more considerate of the old people's thoughts, maybe they are just afraid that you are too tired, and they also want you to accompany her.
Therefore, this problem should be discussed calmly with the elderly, not too anxious to express their thoughts, and ignore the mood of the elderly, communication is always a good way to solve the problem, only communication will let both parties know that the problem is the problem, let each other's ideas be expressed, and decide a better way together, so that both parties agree.
There are many things in the family, very small, but very important, so the family will be our ideal harbor, and it is also the shackles that we want to escape, so the affairs of the family should be discussed well.
Of course, it's good to be yourself, and I envy those who want to be themselves, but not all the time there will be opportunities to be themselves, because of family ties, most people will have a time to give up what they like, or hobbies or money or time.
The older you get, the more you'll understand this.
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Since the problem already exists, the only way to solve it is to find a solution to it first.
First of all, you first talk to your husband about this question and talk about your thoughts. After all, young people still understand what young people think. When your husband and you are united, you can ask your husband to explain to your mother-in-law that young people want to have a job of their own and don't want to be affiliated with others.
If your husband can't convince your mother-in-law, you can sit down with her and have a good conversation, saying that life is fast now, and if your husband only goes to work alone, the work pressure will be too great. You also feel sorry for your husband, and you can take good care of your family even if you go to work.
If all of them can't convince the mother-in-law, then you have to think differently.
Why would my mother-in-law say such a thing? Could it be that she is still asking her mother-in-law to help her with housework and coaxing the children, and ask if she is overwhelmed, feeling too tired, and wanting someone to help.
If it's the reason, it's easy to solve, and you can hire a babysitter with your own salary, so that everyone can be happy. After all, anything that can be solved with money is not a thing.
Of course, if the mother-in-law is a feudal thinker, thinking that women should be housewives at home, and she does not approve of any of the solutions given. Then there would be no need to ask her for her opinion again.
This path is not recommended unless absolutely necessary. But if there really isn't a little room for maneuver, you are living with your husband, and you can already decide your own affairs. So I can only ignore her opinion. After all, family is a place of mutual respect.
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If the family has money, a nanny can solve the problem, why should you quit? If you don't have money, you can't quit your job, otherwise you have money to raise children! I heard that a woman who is a housecook is easily disliked by her husband...
I don't know what your husband thinks of your mother-in-law's behavior? If he supports you, that's fine, if he supports your mother-in-law, it's sad......If you have money in the family, you can tell your mother-in-law to hire a nanny! However, she is your mother-in-law, and if you don't want the relationship to be too stiff, don't offend your mother-in-law!
You'd better sit down and talk to your mother-in-law! First of all, you have to analyze the pros and cons, do your homework, and then talk to your mother-in-law in a good voice! If your husband is willing to cooperate with you, then the odds are even greater.
My cousin is that their family is very rich, and after she gave birth to a baby, her mother-in-law also wanted her to resign and take care of the family! He told her mother-in-law what a nanny could do, and he needed to resign! And if your parents provide for your own study, wouldn't it be in vain!
If she had a daughter, would she want her to be a cook as soon as she got married, and then grow old? Also, usually please your mother-in-law more, she is happy, and you will be fine with everything! Look at your mother-in-law eating that set, you can use that set!
Look at it! There are also ...... to spend more time with children<
If you don't have money, you can't quit your job and take care of your family! That simply lowered the living standard of the whole family! Finding a nanny simply increases the burden on the family!
So it's even more impossible to be at home! However, there will also be some more feudal mothers-in-law, who must be male and female!
You tell her well, I think she will understand, if you don't want to, others can't do anything about you! Don't surrender easily, that's not good for yourself, and against your heart, you will always be unhappy!
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As a woman, you have to know what kind of life you want, although you are married, it does not mean that you have to be a housewife, you also have your own dreams that you want to achieve, then you should work hard for your dreams. Now there are the vast majority of girls who are also working hard in their jobs after getting married, and people can coordinate their lives and work well, why can't you.
There is nothing in this world that you can't do, only things you don't want to work on. Even if you can now give in to your mother-in-law and return to the family and be a stay-at-home wife, are you satisfied in your heart, and are you sure that you will not feel unworthy when you remember what you have done in the future?
These are the problems that you have to face, and if it were me I would have overcome the dilemma that I am facing now. I will definitely stick to my own work, that is, my job is not very well developed or even very good in terms of salary, but as long as you have a job you have room for improvement, and you belong to this society and not only to your family.
When a woman chooses to become a full-time wife, I feel that you are out of reach of your dreams, and a woman with her own career can treat your family life from a better perspective in her own family. If it's because of your current efforts, will your husband complain that you don't have any financial ability when he thinks about it in the future?
This is a problem that a stay-at-home wife has to face, and you have to be prepared for it when you choose to become a stay-at-home wife. It's a lot of pressure on you, but if I didn't make that choice, I'll always stick to my dreams and do what I want to do.
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Legal analysisMother-in-law who is unable to take care of herself should be taken care of by her children, and the children have the obligation to support the elderly. Elderly care for the elderly is based on the home, and family members should respect, care for and care for the elderly. The supporter shall fulfill the obligation to provide financial support, daily care and spiritual comfort to the elderly, and take care of the special needs of the elderly.
Supporters refer to the children of the elderly and other persons who have the obligation to support them in accordance with the law. The caregiver shall ensure that the sick elderly receive timely ** and care. For the elderly who have financial difficulties, medical expenses shall be provided.
For the elderly who are unable to take care of themselves, the caregiver shall bear the responsibility of care. Where they cannot take care of them personally, they may entrust care to others or elderly care establishments in accordance with the wishes of the elderly. The spouse of the supporter shall assist the supporter in fulfilling the maintenance obligation.
Legal basisArticle 14 of the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Elderly: Supporters shall perform their obligations to provide financial support, daily care, and spiritual comfort to the elderly, and take care of the special needs of the elderly. Supporters refer to the children of the elderly and other persons who have the obligation to support them in accordance with the law. The spouse of the supporter shall assist the supporter in fulfilling the maintenance obligation.
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If my mother-in-law is seriously ill and I am willing to resign to take care of her, I really can't resign, then I can find someone to take care of her, and spending money to hire a nanny can solve the problem.
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IMHO: I think your whole family is to blame for this.
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This lady, judging from your statement, your mother-in-law really has an opinion about you, and it is normal for her to say this. Because it is the son of the mother-in-law and the uncle who jointly send you to your family of three, why don't you say hello to your mother-in-law first and say goodbye to Tong Tong alone, your mother-in-law is picking your gift! But don't apologize to your mother-in-law, don't mention it again, and don't be angry, just accept the lesson and pay attention next time.
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