As a girl, what does it feel like to have elders over sons?

Since childhood, I raised you as a boy, I don't care about you, I want to give birth to a boy, I have no status in the family, and you do all the work, and I think that a girl is a money-loser in this kind of family. <>

I'm numb, they're patriarchal, and when I was young, I still feel sad, but when I grow up, I'm independent, patriarchal, and I don't feel anything anymore.

In fact, many elders have some patriarchal tendencies, as a girl, you will first feel that this kind of thing is a very unaccustomed thing, but you are helpless.

It's a sad feeling, my parents are patriarchal, every time I quarrel with my brother, my brother wins, and every time my parents blame me for saying that I am not sensible, which makes me very sad.

I will definitely be wronged, although my parents don't have such a patriarchal preference, but it will still be reflected in some small details. In the future, he will still be filial to his parents, but he will be a little less than his younger brother.

I despise this kind of behavior, and I feel uncomfortable in my heart, but I am also helpless and cannot change it. I want to stay away as much as possible from elders who have this kind of thinking, thinking that such elders are not worthy of respect.

Of course, it's an extreme imbalance in my heart, and I can't get what I deserve. The eccentric approach of the elders is indeed very chilling, and if it is not guided in the right way, it may be distorted in the heart.

When I was a child, my brother and I grabbed a little bit of food to eat, and my mother beat me so that I now have a scar on my eye, and at that time I was at most five or six years old and can leave a scar until now, how hard it is. If you want to study, if you don't send me to study, my brother can take a break if he wants to read and don't want to study, and then read again when he finishes.

I will be left out and not valued for no reason, and there will be a lot of shadows left in my heart in the process of growing up, and I can also cultivate my own independent character traits.

I think it is obvious that our parents are patriarchal, as a young person nowadays, we must not be completely bound by traditional thinking, we must follow the pace of the times, move forward, I will not continue to walk, the old path of my family, continue to favor sons.

Nowadays, society is emphasizing the equality of men and women, and I think this is a very good phenomenon, if there are no women in this world, only men, it is impossible to last for so many years. I think that the relationship between men and women should maintain this equal status, although there were many men who were inferior to women in ancient times. But the times are different now, in many occasions or in many positions, girls are very superior, and there are many women who are now in high positions in terms of economic and personal ability.

I don't think the idea of male superiority or inferiority of women anymore exists.

If I say that when I have children, I will definitely treat them equally, whether they are boys or girls. I think he's all flesh and blood. He can't be prepared, and his family may have that patriarchal phenomenon, but I will not let this kind of thinking continue to happen to me.

I don't think there is anything to argue about in this matter between men and women, and I will definitely treat girls with the same attitude and deserve the love of their relatives.

Today's young people must realize that the direction of development of this world or this era cannot allow those inferior ideas to continue to be inherited. There are indeed many traditional ideas, which are worth learning and carrying forward, but we should also see the bad things and get rid of the dross.

1.When I was a child, I always had more eggs in my bowl than my sister, and I thought that my parents were patriarchal, so they secretly gave eggs to Junjun. And then when I grew up, my sister:

I want to buy a computer. My Dad: Okay!

Me: I want to buy a computer. My Dad:

With your sister's old one...Later I found out that I had more eggs because my sister didn't like to eat eggs.

2.I'm the younger sister in the family and knew about it for a long time. I'm very young and I can cook or something, I cook at home during the holidays, brush the dishes, my brother will praise when he cooks once, sweep the floor once, no one praises me for what I usually do, and if I don't do it once, I will be said to be lazy, ignorant, and don't do anything.

3.This kind of parents raised the female baby to help the male baby, and let the female baby serve when they are old. All the good ones are left to the male baby, and all the bitterness is left to the female baby. That's what parents have in mind.

4.It's the same at home. Sometimes I will be very wronged, but there is nothing I can do but help them, my parents said, after I got married, my brother's house asked me to buy, I refuted, they said I was ignorant, I didn't refute, they said everywhere, it doesn't matter, when the girl gets married, you can help our son buy a house!

Absolutely! I don't dare to say either. I don't dare to marry someone else, for fear of pulling someone else into the water

5.My brother can spend thousands to buy brand-name shoes and clothes, and I can only spend more than a hundred to buy two pairs of canvas, it is true that my parents have never educated me or something, but only if I want them will give, but why do my brothers not want clothes and shoes on the endless, they say they are not partial, in fact, they just want to give more to my brother, my mother once said that when I quarreled with me, I said that I had leaked my mouth, which probably meant that I would marry sooner or later.

6.My mother always wanted me to find a rich man, and I thought it was because I was afraid that I would suffer in the future. Later, I said that in this way, she will not have to pay for my marriage in the future, and my brother will be able to help with buying a house or something in the future.

I didn't listen to her, and found someone I loved and loved me, with an average family background but no worries about food and clothing. My mother said that there would be no dowry at that time, and she would take the bride price.

7.I can't say a lot of details, but I can feel it, I don't have any relationship with my brother, I haven't lived together, and he won't look for me if I ask for money.

8.My brother and I have a half-brother and my stepmother taught my brother to kick my grandma out with me.

's parents are partial.,And 5% don't admit it.,My mother is the 5%,It's not bad for me.,But every time it's subconsciously taking care of my brother.,The tone of our two words is different from childhood to adulthood.,He seems to have endless words.,Even if I make her happy, it's just like that.,I used to think she might have used a different way of education.,But now it seems that it's partial.。

First of all, this concept is a subtle inner hurt for children who are elders. Maybe your parents are casually saying that you have to let your younger siblings because they are younger than you. But this sends a negative message to the elder child – that the parents favor younger siblings, and I am not watching.

The psychological damage this causes to children is enormous. Children who grow up in this environment will invisibly increase the estrangement from their parents, and children will think that their parents do not care about them. This can create more insecurities for the child.

Especially those children who are not good at communication are not concerned at school and do not feel the attention of their parents at home, which is a huge psychological trauma for children. Over time, the child's personality is different, but the parents are not aware of it at all, so that in the end, tragedy occurs, and it is already too late. Some people may question that it is impossible for an elderly child to have such a scary outcome for his younger siblings.

Indeed, because of this concept, there are indeed few tragedies, but that does not mean that there are none. In reality, there have indeed been tragic incidents of hurting younger siblings in order to compete for the attention of parents, and it is necessary to prevent it. In addition, there is no doubt that this concept will slowly become a psychological trauma for the child and will slowly accumulate into the child's negative emotions.

In the end, in the face of this perception, how to correct it is the key. This belief has a long history in China, and among most Chinese parents, it is so ingrained that it is difficult to change. However, that doesn't mean it can't be changed.

Parents, schools, and society can work together to change this. Parents are the most critical link, because parents are the first teachers of children, and they are also the most important companions of children during their growth. If parents do not instill in their children who are elders from an early age the concept that "big must let the young", and do not instill in their younger siblings the concept that "older brothers and sisters will let you".

It is to educate children, whether they are older brothers and sisters, or younger brothers and sisters, to help each other and be humble to each other, rather than blindly humble, and endless humility is called "doting".

With the progress of society and the change of people's consciousness, equality between men and women has taken root in the consciousness of more and more young people, and women are becoming more and more courageous to fight for their due rights.

However, in the eyes of many older generations, patriarchy is still an unabandonable concept, and they never even think that such a concept is wrong.

Every time we talk about having a son and having a daughter, there will always be people of the older generation who say unabashedly: "No matter how good a son is, it is better than having a daughter!" "So why are the older generations so patriarchal?

1) In the future, there is a possibility that the daughter will marry far away.

When children grow up, they start their own families.

In Chinese tradition, women need to follow their husbands after marriage, which means that the in-laws that girls will find in the future are in **, and they will follow their husbands after marriage.

Parents of the older generation consider that if they give birth to a daughter, their daughters may marry far away from their parents when they grow up.

As a result, parents are not only unable to see their daughters from time to time, but they are also unable to be cared for by their daughters even in old age.

And if you give birth to a son, even if the son gets married in the future, he will bring his daughter-in-law home, which is equivalent to one more person who can take care of his parents' old age.

Because of this quality of life in their later years, older parents often think that having a son is more "useful" than having a daughter.

2) Daughters will be closer to their in-laws after marriage.

There is also an old Chinese saying, that is, "the daughter who marries spills the water", which is used as a metaphor for women who will leave their original family after marriage, and change from the closest blood relationship with their parents to a "relative" relationship.

In the eyes of some parents, their daughters are closer to their in-laws' families after marriage, which is equivalent to raising a daughter for someone else's family in vain.

This imbalance will lead older parents to think that having a daughter is a "loss-making" thing, and that it is better to have a son who does not have to leave home.

3) Daughters are unable to inherit the family name.

In Chinese families, most children take their father's surname after birth, and Chinese family names are passed down from generation to generation.

Therefore, most of the parents of the older generation are also very concerned about the inheritance of the surname, believing that this is a condition that must be met for "inheriting the incense".

In this way, if a daughter is born, the child born to the daughter in the future must follow the child's father's surname, and the family name on the mother's side cannot be inherited.

It is difficult for the older generation of parents who hold this traditional concept to accept this, and they will think that their son is no longer promising, and he is also the heir of the family's "incense", which is much better than the daughter who cannot inherit the family name.

Because of these practical reasons, the concept of preference for sons over daughters has not been completely changed for a long time, and it is difficult for women's family status and social status to be truly improved.

You'll know when you're old. The tradition is that men are the breadwinners.