Ask for jokes about water as much as possible

A fat man fell from the twelfth floor,—— and it turned out to become, dead fat!

A candy, walking in the North Pole, thinks he is so cold,—— so it becomes rock candy.

The mother picked up her daughter from kindergarten and on the way home asked, "What English did the teacher teach today?" The daughter said, "Big Sprite." The mother was puzzled, and the next day she went to the kindergarten to ask the teacher, and the teacher said, "The capital 'b' was taught yesterday." ”

Two bananas went shopping one after the other, and the banana in front of me felt hot as I walked, so I took off my clothes, and guess what - the banana in the back fell.

A black cat rescued a white cat from the river, and do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later? It says, "Meow-".

Two tomatoes went shopping, the first tomato suddenly went fast, and the second tomato asked: Where are we going? The first tomato didn't, so the second tomato asked again.

The first tomato didn't have one, so the second one asked again. The first tomato finally turned its head slowly and said: Aren't we tomatoes, can we speak?

Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun walking on the road, and he suddenly became hungry as he walked. So it ate itself.

A polar bear is idle and bored, so it plucks its own hair, one, two, three .........After pulling it all out, the polar bear suddenly said, "I'm so cold!" ”

There is a match, and it walks on the road, and walks, walks......, walksAll of a sudden, it felt an itch, and it tickled, tickled, tickled, tickled, tickled, tickled, tick......led, tickLater. Then it burned itself and finally perished

There was a man who looked like an onion, and he cried as he walked.

4Once upon a time there was a bird who passed by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately one day there was a fire in the cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn! The bird flew over and ......I thought it was snowing, and I died of cold. Yesterday I signed up for a ** training class, and they asked me to wear loose clothes during training, how can this be reasonable?

If there are still loose clothes, then what else will I sign up for?

Drink. A peasant, about half illiterate, came into the city one day under the scorching sun. I walked with a dry mouth, and I wanted to find a place to sell water, and suddenly I saw a plaque hanging in front of a store, which read:

Clear water pool. It was supposed to be a bathhouse, but he only knew the middle word: water.

It was determined that it was a place to sell water, and it was not allowed to run the hall to bring water. The shopkeeper couldn't resist him, so he asked someone to bring out a bath water. This person took care of the taste, and drank it after a few sips.

After thanking him, he left, but threw the fan on the counter, and the shopkeeper saw it and ran up to him to give it to him. The farmer was very grateful, and said, "Shopkeeper, you should sell your tea quickly, it's already a little rancid."

No water to drink. The elder brother and the younger brother ate watermelon together, and the elder brother accidentally swallowed a melon seed. The younger brother looked anxious and said to the elder brother

Our teacher once said, 'When a seed is watered, it sprouts and grows.' Don't drink water, if you do, watermelon seedlings will grow in your stomach, how uncomfortable it will be! ”

Expired water. One day, he wanted to drive his three-year-old nephew out to play, but his longing eyes lingered on a bottle of mineral water that had not yet been thrown away. I hurriedly said:

This water is not drinkable and has expired. He looked at me puzzled. I explained:

This expired water means that if the water is left for too long, worms will grow in it. You'll have a stomachache when you drink this water. ”

He tilted his head and thought, "What about the water that has passed six?" ”

Mine is: Maybe it's been just over eight years, and you're waiting.

But after a while, she sent me a message. Original text (I feel like my brain is in water).

I replied with a message: I think my brain is in water? You can stand on one leg with your head tilted, bend with one leg while standing, and then quickly straighten your body off the ground and do free fall. Hitting the head with one hand at the same time will cause water from the brain to flow out of the ear hole.

I live in a shared house with a few colleagues, and I often take showers in the summer, in order to save water, everyone washes faster than anyone, and there is a buddy who can really do it, and the whole process takes less than a minute. Another colleague was not convinced, and once came out after 10 seconds of going in, "I still don't believe it!" "When we looked, the shorts were wet.

Dong Zhuoquan of the Three Kingdoms leaned towards the government and the opposition, and wanted to test the loyalty of his subordinates, so he smeared mink milk in public, closed the door and closed the window, and it was dark and ......After a while, when I opened the door, I saw that everyone's hands were black and only Lu Bu's hands were white, Dayue, the grand prize Lu Bu, Ci Minchan, Bu smiled, and his mouth was black!

A Liu Xuande flooded his wife's army Sun Quan took advantage of Liu Bei's trip to Xichuan to send a large army to attack Xiangyang, for fear of hurting his sister - Liu Bei's wife Sun Shangxiang, so he sent Zhou Shanxian to deceive Sun Shangxiang from Xiangyang City. Guan Gong saw that the Wu army was coming to attack Xiangyang City, so he released water and drowned the Wu army. Although the release of water was done by Guan Yunchang, Sun Quan wanted his son to marry Guan Yunchang's daughter as a daughter-in-law, second, he thought that Guan Yunchang was Liu Bei's subordinate, third, because Sun Shangxiang was also almost drowned in the Wu army, and fourth, because he hated Liu Bei very much, so he recorded this account on Liu Bei, and said that this battle was Liu Xuande's flooded wife's army.

Second, Zhuge Liang's wife captured Meng and said that Meng Shu took the vulture bone to lead the vine armor army across the river to fight the Shu army. Wei Yan fought and retreated, defeated fifteen battles in a row, and abandoned seven camps in a row, so that Zhuge Liang and the Shu army retreated to the Snake Valley with no way out. Meng Shu laughed:

Zhuge Liang was broken by me this time. Being in Meng.

1. Judge: Da Lang, why do you want to divorce Jin Lian? Dalang:

Jin Lian is a "foodie", I can't afford to raise it! Judge: How do you tell she's a foodie?

Da Lang: She ate 50 of my biscuits in one meal, saying that she was not full yet! Judge:

So how much flour do you use to make a pancake? Dalang: 5 grams.

2. Da Lang: Teacher, I want to participate in the high jump competition! Teacher:

How high can you jump when you're so short? Dalang: Teacher, how high can you throw the blue ball?

Teacher: It should be no problem to throw more than ten meters! But what does your high jump have to do with throwing a blue ball?

Dalang: Aren't you going to stand down there and protect? You can throw me over while the referee is not paying attention, won't it be safe to take the first place?

Teacher:

Paper clip: My road to success has gone through twists and turns, often "clipping" documents or materials, and doing the work of a secretary. Pins:

I have a big head, which is a symbol of intelligence, and the use of "cutting-edge" technology to intersperse is my specialty. Striker: I've had one purpose in my countless collisions, and that is to make the bullets fly.

Victory or defeat on the battlefield plays a decisive role. Sewing needle: I have adhered to the principle of people-oriented since my birth, and sewing and repairing to serve mankind is the true portrayal of my life.

Compass: I am one of the four great inventions of China, and the emergence of me has made the embarrassing situation of not being able to find the north no longer repeat. Print Needle:

I was "beaten" every day without complaint, because I am a producer of words and charts, and I record history. Sweater needle: I wear a warm sweater first ,..

Love: This is a disease that occurs in a pair of men and women who do not know each other, its occurrence is sudden, even fast in an instant, **The best medicine for this disease is to get married, if the drug is not careful, it may cause divorce, which will hurt the patient more! Marriage:

It is a proof that a man and a woman live together openly to the world, often in order to ask for the consent of others, they need to feast and treat others well, and from now on, the two will form a male and female economic cooperative, the male will serve as the husband, and the woman will serve as the wife, and it will continue until death! But most of them will give up halfway, otherwise there will be no mistress, and there will be no continuation of extramarital affairs.

Lao Wang is a leading cadre, and recently, many of the leaders around Lao Wang have found out that there are problems, and Lao Wang is also very scared. But it still hasn't left the sharp eyes of the discipline inspection department. The discipline inspection department found Lao Wang and said to Lao Wang:

What do you want to do, what do you want to do, why have you frequently replaced the eight female secretaries around you in the past five years. All of a sudden, Lao Wang's head was sweating. The inspection department said very strictly

Say, what the reason. Lao Wang licked his lips and said, "It's not that my wife doesn't like it, so I can only change it."

Later, after checking, what was going on, Lao Wang hugged his wife and said happily: "Wife, fortunately you watched me, otherwise I would have gone in." ”

A: Well, have you found a job? B:

Found it, signed 5 contracts .....A: 5 copies?

What do you mean? B: It's 5 jobs...A:

Fart! Can you work 5 jobs at the same time? B:

You can't do it at the same time, but you have to do it in one day, and you have to do it for one hour ...... each jobA: That's easy, 5 hours a day, according to the current standard of recruiting temporary workers, 12 yuan per hour, 60 yuan in 5 hours, cool! B:

If I say 1500 yuan in 5 hours, do you believe it? A: I don't believe it, there will be no pie in the sky....

B: Yes, it is to cry for people....A:

It's true? Then I'll go too....B: You?

No way! A: Why can't I do it?

B: Your broken voice, sissy, you can't even pass the interview.......A:

Is this crying still exquisite? B: Of course, 30....