Tell me where is the root cause of the conflict between mother in law and daughter in law?

The main root cause is still the elders, the daughter-in-law who has just entered the door is still a child, and the problems in your son should be allowed to be fully tolerated by the daughter-in-law. Give your son to your daughter-in-law completely, and put all your thoughts on your daughter-in-law who loves your son. The two had a conflict to protect their daughter-in-law, and she had no relatives of her own in this family.

About housework, we are doing it, the daughter-in-law enters the door, that is, to wash a pair of chopsticks and a bowl, don't care, about the grandchildren, food, clothing, education, etc., rest assured to listen to the daughter-in-law's arrangement, because of the Internet, she knows more than us, and it is more scientific. Your dedication is entirely for your son's happiness, don't expect your daughter-in-law to repay it. Finally, I am the father-in-law of two daughters-in-law.

Happiness to all families!

The root of the contradictory relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that they are not biological, and they are separated by a skin. As the saying goes, the girl and the mother are not annoyed, their own own, no matter how angry they are, it will be fine after a while, no matter how old the girl is, she will also be a child, and the daughter-in-law will become big at the moment she steps into the door of her mother-in-law's house to get married, and she must be omnipotent, go up to the hall and down to the kitchen, and snatch half of her son's heart. Man himself is a contradiction, let alone with outsiders?

Maybe that's it!

The mother-in-law thinks that spending a lot of money to marry a daughter-in-law is to buy a maid, so she has to serve herself, be obedient and obedient, and as soon as she enters the door, she must swear her sovereign status and suppress her daughter-in-law, but now is a new era, not the old society, everyone is equal, so the daughter-in-law will rise up to resist, so contradictions arise.

Too many mothers-in-law have a strong desire to control, and the son may be willing to be arranged by the mother, but the daughter-in-law will not, there can only be one hostess in a family, and the daughter-in-law of the son's family is the hostess, and as a mother-in-law, she should not interfere. There is also the problem of children, many mothers-in-law do not intervene in the problem of couples having children, and even parenting and education have to be crossed, and parenting contradictions are a big problem. Some mothers-in-law gave birth, but the daughter-in-law couldn't resist the pressure and gave birth, and the mother-in-law said that it had nothing to do with her.

The deep-rooted secular concept of "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies", this secular concept has lasted for thousands of years, and has long been ingrained in the hearts of every woman.

It is reasonable for a mother to love a child for each other, a mother for her son, and a grandmother for her grandson. But between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the contradictions arising from grandchildren are endless. Such as mother-in-law"The daughter-in-law has long had problems such as "over-pampering of children" and "intergenerational education"; And the daughter-in-law's laziness and not doing housework, as well as the behavior of holding a mobile phone all day long and not accompanying the children, the mother-in-law has long been dissatisfied.

There is a deep generation gap between the two women. There is a deep generation gap between the two women's different blood relations and differences in personality and temperament, especially the age difference between the two women. If you can't think of a piece, you can't talk about a piece, and you can't do a piece, it will naturally be full of contradictions.

are vying for the position of "hostess". Neither of the two women in the main house can put themselves in their positions, and the mother-in-law thinks that she is the elder and "the first to be the king", and this family should be decided by her; The daughter-in-law thinks that her mother-in-law is old and the concept of running a family is outdated, so she should be virtuous, and she should be in charge of this family. It's no wonder that there is no contradiction.

Loved a man together. It is normal for two unrelated women to come together because of the same man, one loves his son and the other loves his husband, but in the two "careful" women, they are full of jealousy.

The brothers' family, the biggest bane is that the mother-in-law is not right-hearted, the eldest son's family, making their own money to support the family, the younger son's family, all rely on the mother-in-law's pension, the most annoying thing is that the eldest son has to buy things for the younger son's family to eat during the New Year's holiday. The current state is that during the New Year, the mother-in-law took her younger son to eat Chinese New Year's Eve in a restaurant, and the eldest son's family ate at home.

The root is that he sprinkled all the grievances he had paid for his son on his daughter-in-law. There is also the heart of suppressing the daughter-in-law.

I always think that the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the fault of two people, but the one who picks the lead must be the mother-in-law. No girl marries into your family to fight. The daughter-in-law and the children all got married with the desire to live a good life, but I just don't know what the mother-in-law thinks.

Love to meddle, most mothers-in-law love to meddle. Here's the roots!

In the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law in the world is very strange, the son of thirty or forty is a child.

My daughter-in-law in her twenties is an adult.

did a good job for his son, and blamed his daughter-in-law for doing something wrong. The daughter-in-law should serve her son well, and it is better not to lose even a single hair. But the son poured a glass of water for his daughter-in-law and felt that his daughter-in-law was lazy ......

The in-laws focus on their son, don't keep staring at the daughter-in-law, do whatever you want your son to do, don't always think about asking your daughter-in-law according to your own wishes, the daughter-in-law is also the daughter of someone else's family.

Since ancient times, the division of labor model of the family, the traditional family division of labor model of human beings, is that the male is the main female leader, and a family has two women in the main family, all of whom have to revolve around the stove and deal with pots and pans all day long.

Usurping and controlling the rights of his son, and the money spent...

In a patriarchal matriarchal society, the mother is the master of a family, and the new master and the old master are bound to compete for power.

The noisy guests take the lead, and the more they do.

A strong mother-in-law likes to control everything. Even if the daughter-in-law makes a mistake. She still has to think about it.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is all for the son's family, otherwise it would have been a long time ago.

Simple, it is to love the same person, that is, that man, so this kind of problem actually needs to be reconciled by the man.

Chicken feathers don't come out of sheep.

Urging me to have a second child. The means are despicable.

What earns is the right to speak at home.

Don't ask clearly, that's right, your husband went to your house, and your family didn't want to understand clearly.

It is best for you to do the things that are hard to do to keep us comfortable and enjoyable.

The fundamental reason is that the mother-in-law thinks that the daughter-in-law has robbed her son, not to mention that there is also a struggle for rights in a small family. In addition, if the son is inactive, the conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is unavoidable.

1.Many mothers-in-law think that after their son marries a daughter-in-law, they only have a daughter-in-law in their eyes, and they leave behind the nurturing grace of being a mother for so many years. Even some mothers-in-law will be jealous when they see that their sons are close to their daughters-in-law.

In fact, this is why these mothers-in-law themselves feel that their daughters-in-law for many years have become mothers-in-law, and their status in this family is transcendent, and their sons are my husbands and mine, so why don't daughters-in-law listen to me.

2.The contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are also inseparable from the struggle for power. To be honest, if there is a big gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a family, there will be no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law at all, either the mother-in-law listens to the daughter-in-law, or the daughter-in-law listens to the mother-in-law.

3.The son's inaction will also cause conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. If the son can take on the responsibilities of his own small family and let the daughter-in-law feel respected and understood in the family, the daughter-in-law will naturally respect her mother-in-law. Vice versa.

The best thing to do is for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not to live together, and to keep an appropriate distance, which is the distance between a bowl of soup as the saying goes: neither hot nor cold, just right.

Often different people have different parenting philosophies, especially mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law's concept of parenting at that time was obviously outdated when used to educate her grandchildren, but the mother-in-law often felt that she had practical experience, and even said, this is how I took care of children. And this will have a certain contradiction with the daughter-in-law, so it is necessary to sit down and talk about it, and use scientific methods to educate the child, so as to give the child a better future, rather than using those unnecessary experiences.

2. The attitude of the husband.

Once her husband was the son of her mother-in-law, and this son used to be so close to her. And now that he has his own wife, he is no longer intimate with himself, which is the saying that he marries a daughter-in-law and forgets his mother. For such an attitude, perhaps the mother-in-law is repulsive in her heart, so the husband's attitude determines the mother-in-law's attitude towards the daughter-in-law.

If the husband can please his mother-in-law and make his daughter-in-law happy, then the whole family will be happy, and if the husband is always protecting one party, then the other party will be jealous.

3. Family chores.

Everyone will encounter a certain amount of family trivialities at home, and when you encounter family trivialities, how do you deal with them? Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, and if you are always careful, then this matter will never be passed. If you are tolerant and generous, you not only make others feel comfortable, but also let yourself go.

Women should choose the right way to deal with family chores, only in this way can you make yourself happier to live, especially in the face of some trivial things, don't let yourself be too careful.

It is very normal for two women of different eras and lifestyles to live together, and there are differences. As a mother-in-law, her son is a young man, and even if he is not used to the world of young people, he should have some understanding. Many mothers-in-law understand the behavior of their sons and daughters, but the requirements for their daughters-in-law are indeed harsh, and the reason is more that they will refer to their own experience as a daughter-in-law, and feel that what they have experienced and can do, the daughter-in-law should and must do, which leads to a lack of understanding.

In the same way, as a daughter-in-law, she also has some understanding of her parents' world, and many daughters-in-law understand their parents' behaviors, but they are unwilling to understand many of their mothers-in-law's behaviors, more because in addition to subconscious confrontation, there is also their own immaturity, and even treating themselves as children.

Two women from different regions and at different levels live together and need to adapt to each other together. In the process of getting along after marriage, we need to adapt to each other's habits, and also adapt to our own roles, and adaptation means change, which means saying goodbye to the concepts and habits that we have formed over the years. People are inert, and the concepts and habits formed for a long time have been internalized into their bones, and they are not willing to change easily.

For example, the concept of hygiene at home, the taste of the dishes, the opinion on things, the idea of decision, and so on. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law feel that they are right, which leads to contradictions.

What is the root cause of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

The mother-in-law is always worried about her son, and she forgets her mother after marrying her daughter-in-law.

The most common thing my mother-in-law said was: My son listens to his daughter-in-law now, and it is useless for me to speak as a mother.

Isn't the meaning behind this sentence be: Isn't it useless to raise a son, and forget your mother after marrying a daughter-in-law?

I don't know if it's in the hearts of all mothers-in-law, thinking that after the son marries a daughter-in-law, he only has a daughter-in-law in his heart, and he obeys his daughter-in-law, and he has long forgotten the nurturing grace given by the mother.

Even some mothers-in-law will be jealous when they see that their sons have a close relationship with their daughters-in-law, thinking that their daughters-in-law have robbed their sons.

In fact, my mother-in-law has such an idea, in the final analysis, it is still influenced by traditional thinking, I am a daughter-in-law for many years, and it is easy for my son to get married and start a family, and I will turn over and become the master, I will involuntarily produce a kind of idea, this family is mine, my son is mine, and my husband is also mine.

In order to support the position of his hostess, he turned into a hedgehog and took the initiative to attack his daughter-in-law, picking his nose and eyes all day long.

There is also the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is inseparable from the struggle for power.

Who is in charge of this family?

This problem is also the root cause of many conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.

The discord with the relationship with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be because of the age problem, everyone knows that three years is a generation gap, so the age difference between the two is also relatively large, and the generation gap is also relatively deep, so it is recommended that everyone empathize.

1.One of the reasons why mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are prone to conflict is their living and eating habits. As my mother-in-law's parents get older, they can no longer be compared with us young people.

In terms of stir-frying, we can make it more spicy or flavorful, which is more suitable for our taste. However, due to problems such as digestion or physical health, the elderly do not dare to eat foods that are too spicy or too hard.

If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live under the same roof, it is recommended to consider the feelings of parents and children in terms of diet, and cook appropriately and comprehensively. In this way, some contradictions that occur due to different lifestyles and diets can be resolved. If we always give our parents too hard or spicy dishes to eat, the conflict will naturally occur after a long time.

2.The second reason for the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that there may be some friction because of the children's education, because the elderly love their grandchildren and granddaughters very much, so they are more spoiled, and often meet the children's ideas, such as in terms of snacks, they will support the children to buy snacks to eat. When the daughter-in-law sees it, she will always say that she can't always spoil the children like this, and the contradictions will occur when the ideas and views are different.

Here I suggest that the mother-in-law and elders should not be too spoiled, especially in terms of diet, and they should not eat snacks at any time, and not eating meals is very harmful to the physical growth of children. Don't let pets affect the healthy growth of children. And in terms of educating children, you can't be too spoiled, because children have to grow up, they have to face entering the society to participate in work, etc., and they should exercise their self-reliance more in ordinary times, rather than helping him to complete.

People have an inertia, once they develop bad habits, you are not spoiling them, but harming their self-reliance.

3.Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law due to the ideological point of view, or consumption point of view is different from ours, most of the elderly are more frugal, if we are too extravagant and wasteful, lavish spending, they are not used to seeing it will say a few more words, which is also prone to contradictions. In this case, we should avoid confrontation with them as much as possible, learn to go in and out of the left ear, and know how to understand their kindness.

After all, the elderly have decades of experience in running a family, and there are still many aspects worth learning from. If you think it's wrong, just listen to it.