Are there any funny jokes to give a few?

I walked into a department store, ah, it seems that the level of the people has really improved, you see the old farmer, with a refrigerator in his left hand and a television in his right hand, trotted home.

The content of "My Classmate" is probably as follows: Once I was sick, he tutored me rain or shine. It was pouring rain and thunder, and I thought he wasn't coming, but he came in the rain ......The next day he died of a high fever, and I will always miss it.

There is a reading question in the primary school Chinese exam paper, to the effect that it is about a man who endured all the hardships for his children and finally died. After reading, students are asked to say a few words to their mothers on Qingming Festival in a year's time. A primary school student wrote:

I wish my mother Qingming Festival, happiness like the East China Sea, and longevity than Nanshan! ”。

Relationship strain: David has found a new job, and everyone in the company has to fill out a **. David came to the manager with the filled **.

The manager looked at it and said, "You have filled in this ** well." There is one point, if you are filling in the column of relationship with wife, you should fill in "wife", not "nervous".

But my relationship with her is strained. David pouted.

Bargging: Mother encourages son: As long as you memorize this text, I will take you to eat roast whole chicken! The son replied: Then I can memorize two paragraphs, I just want to eat two chicken legs.

Old Man: Three of my four sons have MBAs.

Friend: What is the fourth one for?

Old man: He didn't go to school when he was a kid and ended up being a thief.

Friend: Then you still have to kick him out of the house?

Old man: Chase him? He's the only one making money.

When I went to KFC to order food today, the waiter took out 1 fritter and beckoned to me:"Outer hall, send this to 2b! "There was consternation.

Before I could figure out who this 2b was, the waiter had already prepared something and handed it to me:"I'm missing 1 burger and I'll deliver it to you. "I put a sign in my tray, and I wrote a big one on the red and glamorous card"2", followed by a small one"b".

A few minutes later, I heard that loud voice again"Outer hall, send this to 2b!

The Arab student sent an e-mail to his dad: "Dad, Berlin is a great place, the people here are very friendly. But I was a little embarrassed to go to school.

Everyone else takes the subway to school, so I drive a pure gold Mercedes-Benz. Dad replied: "Son, I transferred 200 million US dollars to you, don't embarrass me, hurry up and buy a subway!"

A colleague has a mantra: Roll the calf. Later, he was criticized for being vulgar, to be elegant, and to change his words after a few days:

Roll over the baby cow ......If the "calf rolls" is: Roll over, baby cow; Then the "calf" is: stretch out, baby cow; The "calf guard" is:

Guard, baby cow; "Wang Eight Calves" is: fit, turtle and cow baby!!

I'll just laugh at it... LZ Mo dislikes Ha

The village chief's son wanted to go south to work, and the village chief taught his son: "It's very dirty outside, don't mess around outside, if you get sick, your daughter-in-law will have it, your daughter-in-law will have me, I will have your mother, your mother will have it, and the whole village will have it." ”

1. Yesterday I dreamed that God said that it could fulfill one of my wishes, I took out the globe and said that I wanted world peace, he said it was too difficult to change it, I took out your ** and said that I wanted this person to be beautiful, he pondered for a while and said that I will take a look at the globe.

2. A woman is ugly, can't get married, and hopes to be trafficked. finally made his dream come true, but he couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent it back, she resolutely did not get out of the car, and the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stomped their feet: go, the car is gone.

Years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child's ugly looks, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's pitiful, the hungry are hairless. ”

4. On the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also learned from the parrot and said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", the flight attendant was furious and threw the parrot and the pig off the plane. Then the parrot said to the pig, "Be stupid, you can fly." ”

5. There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, and the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Rely on your mother!" I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The raven said, "Damn! You're and wearing pants! ”

A new restaurant was opened.

Xiao Zhang said: "I have a VIP card for this restaurant, and they give me a 20% discount. ”

Xiao Li said: "I am an acquaintance with my boss, and they gave me a 5% discount last time. ”

Xiao Wang said: "I don't have a VIP card, I don't know the boss well, and I forgot to bring money, but after eating, they gave me a 'fracture'."

In the neurological hospital, a patient said; I am Satan. A patient next to him said; How do you know. The patient said God told me.

After a while, there was a call from the next ward; I didn't say it.