The psychology of a child who grew up with his grandmother

When the child is young, whoever takes more will kiss him, because he will depend on the person who takes him. When the child grows up, there will be a rebellious period.

At this time, he has a sense of independence, and he does not want to be dependent on anyone. If you treat him like he did when he was a child at this time, hoping that as long as he loves him, loves him, cares for him, and is good for him, he will be closer to him than anyone else, which is actually unrealistic.

On the one hand, he has a little bit of independent ability and does not need to be taken care of by others, and if you treat him like this, he may also think that this is a constraint. On the other hand, he needs more spiritual communication and wants someone to guide him. Therefore, when he was a child, his grandmother was kind to him, and he may forget it, and even if he doesn't forget, it is difficult to rely on his grandmother as before.

The child's mother may be able to communicate with the child easily, and the child will be closer to the mother mentally.

Grandma Li's grandson grew up with her since he was a child. The child's mother went out to work when he was 3 months old. Grandma Li just fed her children and grew up with a mouthful of food, and the relationship between the two is also very good.

Grandma leaves all the delicious food for her grandson, even if her grandson can't eat it, she is reluctant to eat it. Fortunately, the grandson is also filial piety, very caring to his grandmother, and often helps with work. So the people around him said that this child will definitely be very filial when he grows up.

In the future, Grandma Li, just follow Qingfu.

Is the child raised by the grandmother filial piety or disgust to the old man when he grows up? The words of the people who came here pierced my heart.

No matter who brings them up, the children are close to their mothers."

The old man has taken his granddaughter with him since he was a child, from the child babbling to elementary school. When the child was a child, he often said: Grandma, when I grow up, I will be filial to you and buy you a lot of things.

The old man asked, "What about your mother?" The child said indignantly, so he didn't care about her.

When the child goes to junior high school and the mother comes back from work, she begins to make up for the child. In the first two years, the child was still the closest to him, but slowly he had the best relationship with his mother. Because the time with the elderly is getting shorter and shorter, and the time with the mother is getting longer and longer.

Yes, the question is quite realistic. No matter who brings up, the child is closest to the mother. Because deep in the child's heart, he needs and longs for his mother's love the most.

At first, he may be stubborn and deliberately keep a sense of distance from his mother. But after all, he is still a child, how long can he last it? When I was a child, because of the lack of maternal love, I regarded my grandmother as the person with the best relationship.

But when mother's love returned, the importance of grandma dropped again and again.

Nowadays, the pace of life is accelerating, and every family has to face a huge cost of living, whether it is buying a house, a car or whatever, everyone has to pay a lot of money. In order to make better money, young couples will also go to first-tier cities to work hard, and hand over their children to their grandparents to teach, so that they can devote themselves to hard work.

Parents, as the first teachers of their children, should take care of them in their childhood, so that they can grow up and live better, so that children are confident, cheerful, energetic, and able to unite and love their classmates in school.

However, there are many families whose children grew up with their grandparents, and they are almost the same personality under the education of the next generation: irritable, willful and timid! The reason why this is the case is also that the grandparents do not educate their grandchildren in the right way and do not have scientific upbringing thinking.

The upbringing of children is divided into two aspects: physical and mental, and most of the intergenerational education only satisfies the physical upbringing, but there are some deficiencies in the spirit.

In general, if it is because the grandmother is old, the ideology is relatively old, and there is not much energy to take care of the child, then the child will have the following psychology when he grows up:

Insecure, timid, afraid to resist, prone to low self-esteem. Because parents have not been around since childhood, lack of love, and even some will be ridiculed by their classmates for not having parents, which causes children to have an inferiority complex and fear of being abandoned.

Love to escape, no ability to empathize. Because the age difference with my grandmother is too big, when I encountered some problems when I was a child or adolescence, I could only carry it by myself, resulting in indifference and lack of empathy.

But this is not absolute, some grandmothers love their children so much, they are afraid of melting in their mouths, and they love them very much, and the children who grow up in this environment are still very happy and cheerful.

Grandmother. No matter what, when we have the ability, we should treat grandma well.

I hope it inspires you, remember to like it.

First of all, what they lack is the love of their parents, and in any case, there is a generation between grandparents and parents, and children are separated by two generations. Especially in this era of rapid development of science and technology, grandparents will be slower to keep up with the times, and now school education is getting better and better, and many times the grandparents of children's problems are unable to do so. It is true that left-behind children will be cared for or pampered by their grandparents when they follow their grandparents, but children who do not have their parents by their side will encounter many problems at school but cannot find anyone to help them, and their hearts are insecure.

And it is easy to have feelings of inferiority. I think that since we have decided to have this child, and this child has lived in this world, we have an obligation to accompany them to grow up, although we don't have to give them good material conditions, but we can give them a lot of spiritual strength. I have seen many families of left-behind children, and their grandparents can't control their madness at all, because they were really active when they were young, but their grandparents can't do anything about it, and they can't control them at all, and slowly their temperament will be very wild.

Then in order to get your attention, they will become more and more rebellious, and may even make some mistakes, because they do not understand the consequences of these things, and in the end, it is easy to cause family tragedy. I think you can ask this question to prove that you also care about your children, so I think why we should let this situation exist. There are a lot of things that money can't bring.

Of course, these are my personal opinions.

Lacking a sense of security and love, it is easy to suffer from gains and losses, but it is also independent and strong. Expressive but a little inferior. I feel different from the children around me.

The main thing is some regrets. There is no living with parents, there is no kind of family being together, unrestrained laughter and scolding, there is no sense of security around parents, and there is no coquettishness. I don't have many playmates, so I've always been very envious of other people's happy families, and envy people who have grown up and played with big partners.

It's self-violence. I love to talk to others about everything, even if it's for my own amusement. This is probably due to the lack of communication with people in the past, and the extreme desire in my heart. I guess.

Some people probably say I'm a bit withdrawn, but I think it's okay myself.

A few days ago, when I went downstairs, I saw my neighbor Aunt Zhang playing in the park with her little grandson. I went up to say hello, and saw that the child was very close to Aunt Zhang, screaming one by one, and letting the grandmother eat first.

Seeing this scene, I praised again and again: Your grandson is really not raised in vain, and his relationship with his grandmother is so close. Unexpectedly, Aunt Zhang sighed and said:

What's the use of being close now, when I grow up in a few years, I'll still be closer to someone's mother, isn't my eldest grandson, my parents will pick him up when he grows up, and now it's not closer to his mother than to me?

Aunt Zhang's words made me fall into contemplation, now many families are old people helping to take care of the baby, working hard to bring up the child, and then being picked up by the parents, and gradually becoming close to the parents, but the relatives of the next generation who raised themselves gradually became unfamiliar.

Especially like Aunt Zhang, the grandson raised by his grandmother is still closer to his mother when he grows up, and many people still feel deeply unfair and unfair because of this, in fact, this situation is not an exception, but there is a reason.

When children are young, they have a strong sense of dependence on the people who often accompany them, and grandma has become the closest person to children when they are young.

In fact, from a psychological point of view, children should be close to their parents first, and then grandparents and grandparents.

From the very beginning, whether it is physical or psychological, children need their mothers more, and this need will also make children's feelings for their mothers not too bad.

The child's closeness to his mother is the love that is integrated into the blood.

If the closeness of the child to the mother is judged by the usual time together, then the left-behind children in the mountainous areas almost do not see their mother several times a year.

But this does not affect their longing and longing for their mother in the slightest, and this longing and longing is creeping into their subconscious.

In fact, children are naturally close to their mothers, because there is a blood relationship, there is an early experience of taking care of children in infancy, and mothers naturally have an emotional foundation in the minds of children.

Even if you need to be busy with work in the later stage, as long as you can take enough time to accompany and care for your child after work, weekends and holidays, then the child will naturally feel the care of her mother, feel the love of her parents, and the child will also return her love to her parents.

Many grandmothers will always have such worries after raising their children, thinking that their hard work is in vain and raising children for others.

In fact, even if the child is brought up by the grandmother, it is still the closest to the mother when he grows up, but it does not mean that in the child's heart, he does not miss the grandmother's good, but the child is closer to the mother. Those children who grew up with their grandmothers and received a lot of love from their grandmothers are not bad in their closeness to their grandmothers.

First, the age of 1-3 years is a critical period for children to establish love, intimacy and security with their parents. During this period, the mother takes the child with one hand, and the child is close to the mother, and the mother knows the child's smile and smile well. And this time is the critical period for children to babble, a young mother can have a lot of language interaction with the child, rich language, vivid expressions, all affect the child with strong imitation ability, the child's language ability is of great help.

And a grandmother, especially a grandmother in the countryside, has a low level of education and low energy, and what she brings to her children is the language and thoughts of her time. And the role of a grandmother and a mother is different, and the performance in front of the child is also different, a grandmother, just want to take care of the child, don't touch it, don't be hungry and thirsty, her ability is here, her responsibility is also here. And a mother will naturally take on the mission of education, and will consciously guide and educate her children.

Second, 4-10 years old is the critical period for parents to establish authority and attachment in the minds of their children, if during this period, parents will also fake their children to others, without enough companionship and care for their children, it can be said that they have missed the best period to establish a close attachment relationship with their children, even if you double up to make up for it later, it will not have much effect. The reason is that the child is still very attached to his parents during this period, but after the age of 10, his heart begins to be wild day by day, and he begins to go to puberty, and he likes to be with his friends more and like to go out, rather than sticking to his parents at home. Therefore, if you do not establish a good intimate relationship with your child during this period, you will face problems in the child's education, and the child will not listen to what you say.

And if you use strong pressure, it is likely to backfire, and the child will have a rebellious mentality, and the problem will be more serious. What is the education of parents for their children? It is the words and deeds that teach the children, and it is the children who usually get along with you, and your words and deeds affect the children.

And you carefully observe your child's words and deeds, and guide and correct them in a timely manner, which is the best education. And the more time you spend with your child, the more attentive you are, the better.

Children have only kissed their grandmothers since they were young, and parents may feel that there will be a gap in their hearts, and they will feel that it is only themselves who are hurt, not their children. However, this is not the case. Those children who have only been close to their grandmother since they were young, and not with their parents, have also been hurt and pitiful.

Because, children who have only kissed their grandmothers since they were young may become these kinds of people when they grow up, which is actually very pitiful, and parents should pay attention to it.

Become a person who does not believe in the love of a father and a mother.

The kind of love that can nourish children for the longest time is the selfless love from parents. If the child only kisses his grandmother and not his parents, it means that the child has voluntarily given up accepting the love of his parents, and he will feel that father's love and mother's love are beautiful when he grows up. People who don't believe in father's love and mother's love have no temperature in life, and such people are undoubtedly very pitiful.

From an early age, they not only enjoy the love of their parents, but also enjoy the love from their grandparents, grandparents, and grandparents, so that children who grow up will be happier, more loving, and more able to love others. If the child only kisses his grandmother from an early age, the child loses the opportunity to get a lot of love, which is very regrettable.

People who become afraid of marriage.

Whether a child will grow up with his parents will affect his view of marriage and family. A child who is only close to his grandmother cannot have a sense of home, and the attraction of marriage to him in the future is also very small, and such a child may become afraid of marriage when he grows up and prefer to live alone. Although, if a person does not experience marriage, it is not equal to the misfortune of life.

However, if the child is because of the lack of parental love and family love since childhood, he voluntarily gives up marriage and family and decides to live a life of isolation. It was unfortunate for him, because he received less affection from his family.

Become an insecure person.

If the child only kisses his grandmother since he was a child, he is mainly led by his grandmother, and rarely gets close to his parents, unlike other children who have their parents around to ask for warmth. Children may feel that they are different from others, and may become extremely sensitive and insecure, because as a person, children want to be the same as others, if they feel that they are different from the people around them, they will self-doubt and keep asking themselves if it is normal to do this, and they may be very insecure when they grow up. When a child only kisses his grandmother but sees someone else kissing his parents, this distinction may make the child feel a little nervous and insecure.

It is a good thing for children to be close to their grandmothers, but it is a pity and pity to miss out on enjoying the love of their father, mother or other people because they are only close to their grandmothers. When the child is young, it is not a good thing for him to only kiss anyone, as a relative of the child, don't be happy too early because the child is only close to himself.