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Children are particularly sensitive and fragile individuals, they crave security, warmth, and love, and this strong sense of security comes from the whole family at the earliest, from the most protective backers - parents.
A complete family means that the parents are in harmony and take good care of their children. Therefore, children will feel down-to-earth and at ease when they live in such an environment.
But the quarrel of parents is just an vent of dissatisfaction with each other, and it is the need to express inner feelings. However, due to the child's low cognitive level, he cannot understand why his parents quarrel like enemies, and he will fight from the bottom of his heart for fear that the separation of his parents will lead to the breakdown of the family, and he will lose his complete harbor.
He will even feel that it is his own fault, that he caused the quarrel between his parents, that he is not a good child, but a bad child. Therefore, when his parents quarrel, he will become very sensible, especially want to please his parents, and strongly want this tense atmosphere to be relieved, so as to maintain the integrity of the family.
This is a manifestation of the child's extreme insecurity in his heart, he will think that he is sensible, his parents will stop quarreling, and he will be reconciled. The child's heart is actually very sensitive, and if the parents often quarrel, it will have a great impact on his personality. It even leads to the incompleteness of his personality.
Therefore, it is better to avoid the child in the quarrel of the parents, or control the situation as much as possible and not leave any shadow on the child.
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Children still do not understand the reason for their parents' quarrels, and most of them are afraid because of the bad attitudes and tones of both parents in the quarrels. The phenomenon manifested is, firstly, thinking that they are the factor that leads to the quarrel, they are at a loss to remain silent on the sidelines, and subconsciously stay away from the dispute; The second is to take the initiative to use coquettishness or loud noise to attract the attention of parents and make them give up quarrelling. Both of these phenomena are acts of subconscious "protection" by them.
In the eyes of adults, this kind of behavior becomes "sensible". Children are the most stoic people, they don't know how to resist pain with escape, and they don't know how to resist torture with catharsis. They can only stretch out their cold little hands and feet, and no one will even notice their palpitations that have not been able to be calmed down for a long time.
So I always think that children are pitiful and respectable.
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Instead of resisting, the child comes to comfort his parents. Some children are very sensible, saying that they have made mistakes, and after being criticized by their parents, they will never talk back to the adults and obediently admit their mistakes, but comfort their parents not to be angry and <>
It will definitely be corrected. This is a typical manifestation of high emotional intelligence. But why say that? Although children are young, they will feel aggrieved when they are criticized like adults, which is the most normal emotional reaction of human beings.
In the face of criticism from parents, the child's "intimate" reaction indicates that their emotions are absolutely high, and the child does not lose his temper at all with a calm attitude. Many parents have a special temper and are very strict with their children, once they find that their children have made mistakes, even if they make a mistake, they will immediately burst into a thunderous <>
If children can comfort their parents in turn, they will know the painstaking efforts of their parents, and know that this is the most rational manifestation of their parents' consideration for themselves, and they can be called "adults". (William Shakespeare, Hamlet, family) who has such a good child, is really lucky. In the process of educating children, it is not only less angry, but also produces the best results.
The child does not lose his temper at all with a calm attitude. Many parents have a special temper, the requirements for their children are very strict, once they find that their children have made mistakes, even if they do something wrong, they will immediately burst into flames, although the children are young, but they will feel aggrieved when they are criticized like adults, which is the most normal emotional reaction of human beings.
Reprimand the child harshly. First of all, it must be pointed out that this method of education is completely wrong, aggravates the child's rebellious mentality, does not produce any positive effect, and the parents must change their minds. (You know).
The child does not lose his temper at all with a calm attitude. Many parents have a special temper, the requirements for their children are very strict, once they find that their children have made mistakes, even if they do something wrong, they will immediately burst into flames, although the children are young, but they will feel aggrieved when they are criticized like adults, which is the most normal emotional reaction of human beings.
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Because the child is the intimate little padded jacket of the parents, and the child is also the person who understands the parents' thoughts best.
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Because the child's heart is fragile, the quarrel between the parents may make him afraid, and he does not want to lose his parents and hopes that they will be well in front of the child.
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Because children don't want their parents to be unhappy, they want to comfort their parents and make them happy.
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Because parents are particularly important in the minds of children, children will comfort their parents after their quarrels, hoping that their parents can reconcile.
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Because a child's love for his parents always comes first. When children are young, they are very dependent on their parents.
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It's because he doesn't want my parents to quarrel, he feels that doing so will affect the relationship between his parents, but he is a child after all, and he can't do anything. Because he will make his parents happy in the middle, he will comfort his parents at the first time.
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In this case, it may be best to let the parents lose their feelings, and it can also ease the tension between the parents and get back together1
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Happy families are the same, and there are thousands of unhappy families. First of all, no matter what the reason is, it is irresponsible for parents to quarrel in front of their children. Parents with a strong sense of responsibility will consider their children's feelings before doing anything, instead of just venting on their own, and finally scare their children so much that they don't know how to repent and regret!
When the child is a few months old, although he can't understand what his parents are arguing about, he can feel the nervous atmosphere, and the adults are easy to transfer the bad emotions to outsiders or household items when they quarrel, and the light ones are aggravated, and the heavy ones are smashed and even domestic violence, so scared that the child can't wait to hide his little head, and after a burst of outbursts, the adults are discouraged, but what about the child? These negative influences will be stored in their little brains, and you adults will not notice them.
Why do parents quarrel and children become very sensible? If it happens to a child at a few years old, it will be different, they will blame themselves for thinking that they have done something wrong, or that they have caused trouble so that their parents will quarrel, and the child will be careful to coax his mother for a while, and talk about his father for a while, he thinks that as long as the father coaxes his mother, this world war will subside, and many parents will choose a temporary truce in this situation. In fact, sometimes adults are really not as smart as children, and everything in the child's world is very simple, and I really can't bear to look at children in this sensible way.
Maybe as parents, we think that such a young child can understand? As far as I know, parents quarrel and fight to the child's harm is not small at all, older children will have low self-esteem, dare not make friends easily, barely make good friends, they will also worry, for example: my parents always quarrel will you not play with me because of this?
For some psychologically fragile children, it will cause psychological disorders, insomnia, mental tension, epilepsy caused by fright, and even autism, which will affect the happiness of a lifetime, and the family will also be covered with shadow shadows, so I really hope that these examples will not happen to children.
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Because the parents quarrel, the child will feel very frightened, not to become sensible, but to cower and fear that the parent will leave.
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Because when the parents quarrel, the children will feel very scared, and they are also afraid that their parents will divorce and not want him, so they will become very sensible.
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Because the child is sensitive in his heart and is afraid of angering his parents, he becomes cautious.
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Because the quarrel between the parents will affect the child's personality very much, they will become very introverted and will become very sensible, because he thinks that only if these things are done well, the parents will not quarrel.
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Warm homes are all the same, and there are too many tragic homes. First of all, no matter what the reason, parents quarrel in front of their children, which is the main manifestation of shirking responsibility. Parents with a strong sense of responsibility will fully consider their children's experience before doing anything, rather than just trying to vent themselves, and finally scare their children so much that they will cry and not repent, and they don't know how to repent!
In the process of many months, although the child does not understand what the parents are arguing about, they can feel the aura of anxiety and anxiety, and adults are easy to transfer the not very good emotions to other people or objects at home in the case of quarrels, and the tone of speech is aggravated, and the heavy is to smash objects and even domestic violence, so scared that the child hates to hide his little head, and after a burst of outbreak, the adult is relieved, but what about the child? This kind of negative information interference will be stored in the brains of many people, and it is not easy for you adults to notice.
Why do parents quarrel and children appear to be obedient? If the child is next to the child, then it is different, they will feel guilty that they have made a mistake, or that they have caused trouble so that their parents will quarrel, and the child will be worried for a while, whining on the mother, and talking about the father for a while, he thinks that only the father coaxes the mother This war will be calmed, and generally in such a situation, many parents will choose a temporary truce. In fact, sometimes adults are really not as smart as children, and all things in the child's world are very simple, and they really can't afford to see children in this kind of obedient way.
Maybe as parents, you think that such a young child can understand? What are the dangers of a quarrel, forget it all after a night's sleep, then you will ask for trouble, as far as I know, parents quarrel, fights and fights are very harmful to children, older children will not be confident, afraid of making friends casually, make do with their best friends, they will also worry, such as: My parents always quarrel will you not play with me because of this?
For some psychologically fragile children, it will cause psychological problems, insomnia, nervousness and anxiety, epilepsy caused by fright, and even childhood autism, which will endanger the happiness of a lifetime, and the family will be clouded by it, so I sincerely hope that this kind of case will not occur in children.
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I think that parents quarrel not because children have become sensible, but because children don't know what to do, so that parents can not quarrel. In other words, parents influence the formation of children's personality in this way. It will also make the child have no self-confidence.
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When parents quarrel, children become very "sensible", in fact, this is not because children become sensible, but as children, they will be particularly afraid when their parents quarrel, they have no sense of security, and they are worried that their parents will leave them, so they will become "sensible".
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Because the feelings of parents directly affect the mood of the child, the parents are happy together, the child will turn over to the warmth of the family, if the parents quarrel, it will also let the child know that he must be good and good, so that the parents will no longer quarrel for him.
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Because a harmonious family will make children form a very good and confident character. But if parents quarrel frequently, it will directly affect the child. The formation of character will make him even more inferior.
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Because of love, the child is very afraid of losing his parents, because his parents are his whole world. When parents quarrel, children will have a sense of fear. forced them to have to be quiet.
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Children become sensible because no matter what, they don't know what kind of mentality to face their parents, they don't dare to be coquettish, they feel that the parents in front of them are very strange, and they are afraid that their parents are losing their temper.
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That's because children are psychologically hurt in such an environment, so when parents quarrel, they show that they are sensible, but in fact, children are very scared. Therefore, parents must avoid children when they quarrel.
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Mainly because when parents quarrel, children will be insecure, so children will definitely become more sensible and want to grow up, so they will add some security to themselves.
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It is because in the process of quarreling that the child can see one of the parties, he will be wronged, and he is also more afraid, so he will become so sensible.
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This is because if parents are prone to quarrels, they actually affect their children's physical and mental health. They will become a little afraid to speak, and even their personalities will sometimes become inferior.
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This is because children hope that their sensibility can be exchanged for the attention of their parents, so that parents can stop arguing and pay more attention to themselves.
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When parents argue, the child may be scared, think about it more, and may be afraid that the parents will be angry with him, or that the parents will separate because of the quarrel.
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Because the child is worried that his parents will leave him. Children are afraid of their parents' divorce, so they will behave very well after their parents quarrel.
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Unconfident and insecure.
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Parents and children who often quarrel will definitely be unreasonable, like their parents, they have to quarrel about something, they are not motivated at work, and they are not making progress in their studies, so don't quarrel for the sake of your children.
You have to understand that if a man wants a woman to support him, it is a very disgraceful thing, the resentment in his heart is understandable, your mother is wrong in front of others, you should say more about your mother to save face, although it is very hard to earn money, but the purpose of earning money is for the family to be better, if the family is gone, no matter how much money is useless. I think you'll understand that, and I hope it helps.
Because mature and sensible people belong to the existence of women in the eyes of others, no matter what they do, they can come by themselves, and after a long time, no one will feel sorry for you.
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