What are some of the funny slips of the tongue in life?

On a variety show, the host called Ju Jingyi (yi) Ju Jingyi (wei).

I'm from the south, and the last time I went to the mall to buy a stove called Rinnai Stove, I told the salesperson that it was Rinnai Milk Picker, and it was too embarrassing to make a joke.

Once when I ordered food at a restaurant, the waiter asked me, "Do you take it or take it away?" Does it make a difference?

When you quarrel, you want to say, "!" ”.But it's fast talking. It became a "quack!!

When the class teacher was about to punish him, he blurted out: Teacher, you listen to my quibbles (this classmate said what was in his heart).

The mother of the first classmate in high school came to the parent-teacher conference, I don't know what the head teacher called, and then the head teacher was wearing a big red down jacket. The classmate's mother directly called the class teacher: Teacher Hong.

One day when I was a student on duty in the summer of my first year of high school, I was wiping the podium, and the head teacher supervised the morning reading next to the podium, and the head teacher said to me, "There is a drop mark on the podium, take the paper and wipe it again" I don't have the habit of carrying paper with me because of hygiene, and I slapped the table! "Who has sanitary napkins" "Sanitary napkins, towels, the whole class shook their heads, and the whole class, including the head teacher, laughed, only God knows how ashamed I was!

I once drank kelp soup, and my friend wanted to drink it too, and I wanted to say don't drink my kelp, but it turned out to be don't drink my white belt.

Boyfriend: Is that person's surname Yi? Me: yes. Boyfriend: Which is easy? Me: It's just the simple one, boyfriend:?

When I returned to school one weekend in high school, a chubby classmate brought a lot of food, so I asked, "Who sent you here today?" The quick-talking classmate next to him: Oh, his brother rode her! Hahahaha.

A customer wants to confirm whether a card that has not been used for a long time is still active, and this is the background. He opened his mouth and asked: Is my card still alive? (Alive, alive, and living a hundred years).

A certain crew was filming outside the village. During the interval, a group of actors playing the roles of Kuomintang officers and soldiers did not unload, and then went into the village to find a toilet, and met an old peasant at the entrance of the village and asked him about the toilet. The old farmer excitedly shook the actor's hand and said:

When did you call back? Don't go to the toilet yet, I'll take you to catch the village cadres, these grandsons will run away when it's late!

My math teacher once said in class, "You stupid people, all have negative IQs, and my IQ is a hundred times that of yours!" ”

I asked (kiss) can you give it a moment?