Relatives and friends are against it, should I insist on it?

Here's how you describe him:

He went to the army before graduating from high school, and his abilities in all aspects are relatively poor, and his knowledge system is also very poor, and the 23-year-old boy looks like a 33-year-old boy, he has no youthful vigor at all, he does not stand like he stands, he does not sit like he sits. Before I talked to him about friends, he was addicted to the Internet every day, and he couldn't even memorize the poem "Moonlight in front of the window", and his previous girlfriend lived in his house for four years.

Can you make him like that, and you still say you like him? I really don't know what you think, in fact, I think you have begun to resist him from the heart, but you haven't found out yet, people have a rebellious mentality, because others don't agree with you being with him, so you will feel that separating from him is imposed on you by someone else's idea.

I think if he is like you said above, if others don't care about you, you will give up after a long time, I personally think there is a very important point: don't seek progress, this is very fatal, don't seek progress, the future life will be like this.

It's all up to you. It is difficult to have both stubborn love since ancient times.

If you insist on being with him so much, do you think that you will not be happy after marrying him, at least in terms of material, don't say that I think too much, in fact, I am much younger than you, a boy is unmarried and a girl has lived together for four years, can you guarantee that this kind of casual boy will not remarry and make such a dirty behavior as extramarital affairs. You're a girl, I think it's better for you to listen to your family, after all, a girl's decision can change your life, believe in yourself. I'm also depressed, how can you like this kind of boy, he has no money, no talent, what do you like about him??

Handsome?? There are more handsome boys. Good figure??

That's more. I still advise you to compromise once for the sake of your life's happiness. I'm sure you'll suddenly realize when you find a better guy that your former self was so stupid, and you'll be glad you didn't choose him!!

What I say is advice, but it's all heartfelt.

The other party always has advantages. Cultural knowledge can be relearned. Guan Jian wants to see if he has the enterprising spirit to learn! If you like him just because he's good to you, not because he is. Then I feel that he is not worthy of you in all aspects, so I will close the team as soon as possible!

Divide it! You are basically ants and elephants——— two kinds of people. You can't get together! He will be a burden to you.

You have to think clearly, he is now changing for you, but will he have the perseverance to persevere to the end!! If he can persevere to the end, really improve and do a good job, this is okay, but on the contrary, if he can't persevere, then it will not work.

However, listening to your description like this, I think you are really not suitable.

If you want to live with him for the rest of your life, you really have to clearly understand that no one can pay for you in life.

As the old saying goes: the door is right. It still makes a lot of sense, otherwise it wouldn't have been passed down to this day.

In fact, it is worth believing if you are still a relative, and your parents' vision is still reasonable, so I suggest that you give him a few difficult problems to test him to see if he can change.

If you don't see each other for three days, then go on.

Otherwise, it is better to listen to the opinions of parents and loved ones.

The words of the people who have experienced it make sense, I have suffered this kind of suffering, it is too late to regret it, there is the persuasion of my family, this is your blessing, you must calm down and think about it yourself.

Love to the depths of people lonely ...Look farther. Communicate with your friends and maybe get better.

Maybe, hahaha.

Guessing.

1.Financial aid: Some relatives may frequently ask you for financial assistance, whether it's borrowing money or other forms of assistance. This can put financial stress and burden on you.

2.Caring for family members: Some relatives may ask you to take long-term care for the elderly, disabled, or other family members with special needs in the household. This can have an impact on your life and personal development.

3.Marital arrangements: In some cultures, relatives may interfere excessively with your marital arrangements, including asking you to marry a particular person, or interfering in your romantic relationship.

4.Academic and career choices: Relatives may make excessive demands on your academic and career choices, such as asking you to choose a major or career path that they see fit, without considering your own interests and potential.

5.Family responsibilities: Some relatives may ask you too much of your family responsibilities, such as asking you to go home often to spend time with them or help them with family matters, without thinking about your personal needs and schedule. Filial piety.

6.Emotional support: Relatives may ask you for emotional support, whether it's with their marital issues, intimacy issues, or other personal issues. This can cause you additional psychological burden and stress.

However, the relationship between relatives is complex and diverse, and the circumstances and backgrounds of each family are different. Understanding and communication are key to problem solving. When faced with excessive demands, we can be honest about our thoughts and feelings and seek compromises and solutions.

Recently, I have always brushed up on the Internet to find some peculiar **, saying that the most unwilling to see our good is relatives, and what I said is the Tao, saying that people are jealous, when we are better than relatives, relatives will be jealous of us, saying that relatives are amicable to us on the surface, but in fact, we can't surpass them, are there such relatives? Of course there are, but they are a minority, and most of the relatives do not have such thoughts.

But why do such statements resonate with so many? That's because it reflects the villainous heart of people nowadays, and people who think it makes sense basically think like this themselves, and they think like this and think that others will think like this, and many people don't want to work hard, and they feel uncomfortable when they see people who used to be at the same starting point as themselves and are now better than themselves, so they have such thoughts.

Are relatives really unreliable? When we are in trouble, the first thing we think of is our relatives, and the first person to lend a helping hand is also our relatives and relatives, how can we make such remarks to provoke the relationship between relatives? There are many people who may disagree with this view, thinking that although relatives also want us to live well, they don't want us to surpass them, but the fact is the opposite, when we can live well, the first person to praise us is our relatives.

But why do some people just want to be hated by their relatives? It's because virtue is not worthy, and when you have no chance, you complain that your relatives don't help you, and when you have a little ability, you show off to your relatives everywhere, so will your relatives still like you? Do you still hope that you are doing well?

When you don't help your relatives and show off to your relatives, why do your relatives want you to be better than him?

In the past, in ancient times, there was a person in a family or clan who got ahead, and the whole family and clan were stained with it, but now it is just the opposite, people who have a little ability do not help relatives who need help, but keep showing off to their relatives, showing off how great they are, it is this kind of psychology that slowly opens up the relationship between relatives, if relatives are not good to us, we should reflect on ourselves, whether they have problems or relatives have problems.

1.1. Keep calm in the moment, your relatives seem to have a special skill that can provoke you at any time. However, if you are really angry, you can only make yourself more emotional and make things worse.

When embarrassing situations arise, keep your emotions in check. Learn to be aware of when you become angry or impatient. When you're triggered, walk away for a while and breathe in some fresh air, counting from 1 to 100, or practice deep breathing.

1.2. Show self-confidence by using the "I" statementIf you have an argument with a difficult relative, practicing and expressing assertiveness can save you from being bullied. It is advisable to express exactly what you mean in as few words as possible.

Use phrases that start with "I" to allow you to take control of your feelings and express what you need without causing resistance from the other person. For example, you could say, "I don't appreciate you speaking for me. Can you make these questions on your own?

1.3. Don't Have to Feel Guilt: Difficult relatives often take advantage of your guilt.

They try to sway your decisions by making you feel guilty, which is a form of emotional abuse. You don't fall into a trap. Let's say your aunt says:

Well, I've come all the way here, and I thought you'd at least let me choose the menu for the event. You can go something like this: "Auntie, please don't try to make me guilty.

We'll let you choose between dessert and one main course, and we'll vote collectively on the rest of the menu. 1.4Listen to what they say, have you listened carefully to what your difficult relatives say?

Sometimes, all people want is to be listened to and sell. Also, part of what the person said may be right. Actively listening to what they have to say may make them feel recognized and may also make you less misunderstood.

If your relatives have a reputation for being difficult to get along with, you may have ignored what they had to say out of habit. Take a moment to listen to them finish their talk. Think about why they might be saying this and whether some of the aspects they are stating are correct.

1.5 Leave them an area of complete freedom, and some relatives will bend the chain to complicate the situation because they are desperate to get involved. Giving your difficult relatives a job they can control, giving them a goal can keep them busy.

For example, if your cousin stands aside and complains while someone else cooks, ask him to set the table and tidy up the lounge area.

Take time off from spending time with your family.

If your relatives are exhausting you, you can take a few days off work to sort things out. If by doing so, you can manage stress or reduce conflict, then this is perfectly acceptable. Shout brightly.

To let your family know your intentions, you can say, "It's so unfriendly to me, I need to take a break." I'm going back to the city for a weekend to clear my head. ”

Win over some allies within the family.

If you find it too difficult to be alone with difficult relatives, it may be helpful to ask for help from other people in your household. By forming alliances, you can exchange ideas with each other and come up with more effective ways to deal with difficulties. Plus, if others understand your feelings, you won't feel alone.

For example, say to your sibling, "I need some support this weekend to cope with my cousin." Would you like to be my backup? ”。

Rely on the support of friends.

No one understands what is really going on within a family like a family member. However, it can be helpful to get out of the house to release your frustration or, alhare, simply take your attention off the matter. People outside the family may take a more objective view of the situation.

When you need to de-stress, go to your closest friends.

Even when you're reuniting with your family, don't forget to invite your best friend out for a drink. With friends, you will feel relaxed.

Cut off contact if needed.

If difficult relatives have taken a toll on your psyche and life, you may have no choice but to cut off contact with them altogether. Spending too much time with your relatives or trying to solve their problems will only drain your own life.

You can cut ties with difficult relatives altogether, or you can simply choose not to let yourself get caught up in the mess they create.

For example, if you have a family member who is addicted to drugs and he refuses to seek change, you can say something like, "I'm sorry, I have to put some distance between myself and my family." I don't want my kids to live in this environment. ”

Depending on your situation, choose the "break the relationship" method that works best for you and communicate your intentions to everyone involved.

You don't have to cut ties permanently. Sometimes you just need a little time and distance to restore balance in a relationship.

No, the reason why many people dislike their relatives is because relatives may often borrow money from him, or often need to help Tuan Shan with other things, but relatives never appreciate it, or they don't pay back the money, so many people will dislike their relatives when they fall into the middle.

I'm also disgusted with my relatives to be honest, because my relatives will bring in a lot of irrelevant people with stupid acts, which will affect my own heart and career, and I don't hate my relatives as a person, but I hate the irrelevant people behind my relatives.

Yes, because some relatives are very annoying, and when they come to the house, they ask about all kinds of things, and they will disparage others very lowly, and improve themselves from the dust, and say a lot of things that they don't like to Painaga.