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Once people in love are difficult to use rationality, no matter how confident, proud, and excellent people will sometimes be confused in love, don't worry, even if the final result is unsatisfactory, don't give yourself the opportunity to regret, don't experience wind and rain, how can you see the rainbow.
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This requires process and time, I am also a person with a relatively small sense of security, I can only take my time, contact more people, enhance my self-confidence and sense of security, make friends to choose good people, if repeatedly frustrated it is even more difficult to establish a sense of security, and it is better to contact with recognized friendly people.
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It's good to make more friends, but you still need to learn to control yourself emotionally, in addition to making more friends, I think you can also cultivate some of your own interests, let your attention be distracted, don't focus on feelings, you can move over after a long time.
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People in love should trust each other and believe in each other, or they will be like you.
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However, I'm a little scared now, I don't want to contact too many people, I'm afraid of getting hurt.
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There is no sense of security in the relationship, which is not only manifested in the interaction between two people, this phenomenon may arise from a young age, due to the problems of parents in education, children have not been cared for and loved since childhood, and when they grow up, they will have a particularly strong demand for this aspect of emotional needs. Especially girls.
Girls are more delicate, sensitive to other people's opinions, sensitive, and need others to take care of them. In life and work, they not only pursue a result, but also value an experience, whether others are good to me, whether they care about themselves, and whether they will give themselves good help in life.
However, this can cause a problem. If he can't satisfy me, then I will feel very angry, and I will be suspicious, doubting whether the other party doesn't love himself anymore, doesn't care about himself, and will be more "selfish", resulting in the distance between the emotions of both parties.
In this case, the first thing to do to improve the lack of security is to "improve yourself" and make yourself better. Generally speaking, insecurity is caused by "not being satisfied" with oneself, and not being satisfied also means that one point is not able to obtain it. Essentially, this is also a sign that the ego is not strong.
If you can grasp everything and get everything through your own efforts, then you will not depend on others, and then you will have a stronger sense of security.
The second is not to see the other party as my own private property, the other party is a part of me. In emotion, love is possessive, so it is very important for the other party to hold it in his hand. To maintain an intimate relationship with each other, what is needed is to help each other, support each other, and then grow together, such a relationship is the most stable.
In any case, you must find the reason for the insecurity situation from yourself, rather than passing the blame on the other party, and try to change it.
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When falling in love, I always suffer from gains and losses, and I feel insecure, I think we should adjust our mentality in time and don't have this kind of mentality, which will affect the relationship between two people very much.
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I think for this situation, you must set your own mentality, usually don't think too much, you have to trust enough that the other party will be good to you, only if your mentality is corrected, can this problem be solved.
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Tell your boyfriend directly that he is particularly insecure, and hope that he can show a comprehensive sense of security in the details, and also hope that his boyfriend can help him.
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You should break up in time, because this boy can't give you a sense of security, and it will make you very sad, and this kind of love is not necessary.
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We all know that there must be a potential factor that causes such a phenomenon, if there is no reason, you will not have such a psychology, then we need to find such a reason, only after finding such a reason, we can have a better solution to it.
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Do something else, try to distract yourself, communicate more with your boyfriend, and let him give you some security.
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You can communicate more with your boyfriend, tell him about your problems, and let him care more about himself, so that he can solve it.
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I think I should find something to do for myself and not always get myself trapped in feelings.
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<> it is normal to be insecure in love, suffering from gains and losses, because men and women are two completely different individuals with different thinking. Usually a man is rational, even if he loves a woman very much, he has a lot of things to do in his spare time, such as games, such as playing with friends, but this does not mean that he does not love you, because men are like that.
The man's world is the whole world, and the woman's world is this man. Women are more emotional, the longer they are together, the more feelings they will give, and even everything, their eyes will naturally fall on the man, and use various ways to verify whether he loves himself or not, or whether there is a decrease, or because he has not replied to the message for a long time, he will think about it, these are normal manifestations of loving someone, but sometimes you might as well learn the way men deal with feelings, give him freedom, let him do what he wants, believe that he loves you, if so, a normal mature man will cherish you more, I think you know the general situation, and you are comfortable with you, what about yourself, and also take the time to enrich your spare time, such as shopping with your girlfriends, having time to pamper yourself, or chasing dramas and watching a variety show, many things can be done, don't focus all your energy on men, have more time to love yourself, and finally hope you can be happy for a long time and find the most appropriate love mode!
1.Focus more on yourself than on others. Pay more attention to yourself, if you like to be lively, go and make more friends, and if you want to eat hot pot, go and eat alone. Satisfy yourself and care for yourself, so that you will not suffer from gains and losses due to the neglect of others.
2.Go find more interests. Find something you really like, and then spend the extra emotions and cranky time here, and in the end, you may gain the same people you walk with, as well as the confidence and sense of accomplishment, and even your partner can be proud of you.
3.Be considerate of others as you are considerate of yourself. Know how to empathize and think about things from his point of view.
For example, if it's you, when you're busy at work, do you like your boyfriend to pester you with nothing to do? Or, when you need to be alone, he always comes to disturb you and quarrel with you? Only by having empathy and learning to empathize can we know how to be emotionally independent when we are understanding and tolerant.
In the end, you can give yourself a sense of security, you can please yourself, you can meet all your needs, and your partner only needs to provide you with the love you want, so that the relationship will last longer.
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If you don't meet the right person in a relationship, you will feel that you will suffer from gains and losses, in this case you should make yourself stronger and make yourself better. The sense of security is given by oneself.
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At this time, you must recognize yourself from the inside out, don't waste too much useless work on the other party, you must constantly enrich yourself with what you like to do, you must make yourself more attractive, and don't pin all your hopes on others.
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You should adjust your mentality, take your vision further, don't always focus on feelings, and shift your focus to work.
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There is no sense of security in falling in love.
How to deal with the gains and losses? Let me now share my opinion. There is no sense of security in love, always suffering from gains and losses, and being suspicious.
First of all, I think that the other party is too good and has a certain gap with you, and secondly, you love the other person too much and lose yourself. When you interact with people who are better than yourself, you usually have a lack of self-confidence, and you are always afraid that the other party will meet someone better than you, because your lack of self-confidence will cause you to be nervous and even inferior. A sense of security is never given by others, and if you are not good at the other person, you have to work hard to become excellent, which is more important than worrying about the other person all day long.
The gains and losses you have in a relationship only show that you have not realized that "emotional independence" is what you need to have. To put it simply, it is to provide yourself with everything you need to meet your needs, such as security, satisfaction, fulfillment, happiness, self-esteem, self-confidence, and so on. When he's busy, he has something to do.
For example, there are people who like to bake and enjoy those moments when making desserts. Some people like to paint, and they walk with their easels on their backs, and they want to paint all the beautiful scenery they see with their own hands.
They also have a stable love partner, and they will never be sad or sad because the other party is busy with work and their interests ignore them, because they know that everyone is an independent individual, there are always some roads that need to be walked by themselves, and there are always moments when they need to be alone. They try their best to satisfy their inner needs and enjoy themselves at all stages. For example, when you want to eat a hot pot, you will not be disappointed because your partner is working overtime, but call your friends or enjoy the food alone.
This is what an emotionally independent person is like. The above is mine, I hope it helps you.
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There is no sense of security in falling in love, because the other party does not show enough, or their suspicious personality leads to this relationship not being able to better reflect, at this time we need to calm down and slowly accept the other party.
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First of all, you must communicate more with your lover, and the second is to cultivate your own interests and hobbies.
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Generally speaking, this situation implies a particularly urgent expectation of being accepted, loved, and noticed, which may be related to the experience learned in the early years.
On the other hand, the desire for emotions is often difficult to say directly, and it will manifest itself as trials and tosses.
In fact, telling the other party some of your feelings and thoughts, and lowering expectations, will make it easier to express yourself and produce a communication, and too urgent expectations are actually easy to ignore the state of experiencing the other party, so it is difficult to form communication and exchange.
The only thing you can do is to face everything in life with an open mind, to give yourself the courage to challenge all the unknowns in life, when you think like this, the crankiness will slowly disappear and our anxiety will also decrease. Let's act now, everything is a new beginning, and the future is full of infinite possibilities and unexpected surprises!
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Let's analyze why a person is insecure. When a person's emotional or material needs are not satisfied, their sense of security decreases, leading to an extreme sense of insecurity. You can first analyze whether you are emotionally deficient or materially deficient.
Because you are sensitive and like to think cranky, then it should be a lack of emotion that leads to insecurity. We have to face ourselves up to ourselves and not be responsible for everything. Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves and put ourselves in a state of anxiety.
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You can try to see if you lack any kind of security, whether it is a lack of harmony with your parents, lovers, friends, or an unstable social relationship, or a turbulent living environment. Once you understand where you are insecure, you can prescribe the right medicine and then solve the problem. The sense of security is not just given by others, but the sense of security given by others is stronger and more stable than the security given by others.
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Cranky thinking is mostly coming.
Because you are not firm enough and self-confident, you say what you say and do du, and you are always worried about whether zhi will be wrong.
I hope that when socializing, you can think more before words and deeds, and you must tell yourself: What I say and do today is reasonable, and it will not be extraneous in the future, so I don't always fantasize about those things that are not there. Such many admonitions, and stop thinking in time when you are cranky, you will slowly change such behavior.
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Communicate with people more, read more, cultivate your own hobbies, such as learning a musical instrument, taking a certificate, traveling, rock climbing, etc., in short, enrich yourself and broaden your horizons, rather than worrying about temporary gains and losses.
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Because of the extreme lack of love, after encountering love, they will place their hopes on themselves, longing to love and be loved, and at the same time, because of extreme sensitivity, they seem to tremble and have no sense of security. The way is to participate in more physical activities, strengthen exercise, play ball, fitness, dance, expand the circle of friends, and try to make your life colorful.
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Such a person needs to adjust himself well, and it is possible to develop without attacking.
Depression, so you must have zhi control, and realize that your own crankiness is not beneficial to you. There is no benefit. In your daily life, always remind yourself that this disease can be **, think like this, your spirit will be relaxed, don't force yourself into a person with mental disabilities.
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