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Parents should also pay attention to their own ways and means when urging marriage, do not put excessive pressure on their children, and it is best to talk to their children about this matter when they are in a good mood, and if they are in a bad mood, do not mention these things for the time being. <>
1. Tell your child about your concerns. In fact, every parent urges marriage in the hope that the child can stabilize as soon as possible, so that parents can rest assured. But in the hearts of children, they have finally had free space after they have grown up, and they don't want to find their other half so quickly, so there will always be all kinds of conflicts between parents and children.
If two people don't communicate all the time, it will only cause the conflict between parents and children to become more and more serious, and eventually there will be no way to communicate. Parents are older than their children and are more tactful in how they behave, so parents should find an opportunity to talk to their children and find out why they are not looking for a partner. Parents can tell their children about their good intentions, so that children know why their parents are always urging marriage, and if children feel that their parents are not easy, they will cooperate with their parents to start looking for a partner.
2. Don't deliberately arrange a blind date. Nowadays, there are many parents who are anxious about their children, and they will keep arranging blind date activities for them in marriage, and some parents are afraid that their children will not go to the appointment, so they use other reasons to deceive him to meet others. This kind of behavior can be very offensive to the children because they are all adults, and the parents will deceive them in this way, which will make them feel that they are not respected by their parents.
If it really provokes the children, then in the end they will marry for the sake of marriage, and such a marriage is also unhappy. <>
Parents are in a hurry to urge marriage, in fact, they want their children to be happy, so they must respect their children's ideas and do not impose their own ideas on their children. There are many children who no longer believe in love because they have been deeply hurt by their feelings. As parents, they should be given psychological counseling in time, so that they can get rid of the shadows and re-believe in love, so that they can enter the palace of marriage.
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Parents should take their own marriage urging as a suggestion. Don't think of your own marriage urging as a kind of moral kidnapping. This is the right way to urge marriage.
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I think parents should be calm and talk to their children in a respectful manner, rather than pressing.
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I think I'm probably the most vocal on this issue.
My husband and I have known each other for ten years, been together for five years, and have been married for two years, if it weren't for my mother, I think I would have separated a long time ago, and I wouldn't be like this.
People say that the longer the relationship between couples, the easier it is to break up, this is not wrong at all, because after a long time, each other are familiar with the personality and habits, and the more they feel that it is not very suitable, we were together for 5 years at that time, he was in the army, I was still in school, basically a long-distance relationship, I will meet a few times a year, 2 hours at a time, just like this mode of getting along often quarreled in the end, just when I felt that we were about to break up, my mother began to urge us to get married, and called me every day**, almost every time** I have to quarrel, because I don't want to get married, in fact, it's not that I don't want to, I just don't dare, and in the end my mother forced me to die, there was no way, only to compromise and get married.
After getting married, he was still in the army, everything was my own, after graduation, I found a job, rented a house, moved by myself, at that time I almost lived in the southeast and northwest of Chengdu, once because I wanted to save 2 yuan of bus fares walked home for 3 hours, the bitterness should only be known to myself.
I finally worked in a company for more than 2 years, and my work was just a little more stable, my mother began to urge me to have a child, I really don't want to have a child so soon, and then my mother also scolded me every day, and finally began to go to the temple to tell me a hexagram and ask for a sign, almost every call is inseparable from this topic, there has been no peace at home, and then I really have no choice, she cried as soon as she hit **, I am pregnant, the pregnancy reaction is very strong, I can't eat anything every day and keep vomiting, One person persevered for more than 3 months, and then he resigned.
In this way, I became a married unemployed vagrant, now 31 weeks pregnant, my husband is still in the army, my mother-in-law is in Anhui, my mother is in the field, I am swollen from the waist down, even standing up is super difficult, super painful, but still living alone, they will ask about the situation, but I really hate to hear the sound, I used to have a good temper, but now I have become very irritable.
In fact, I know that in my mother's time, people didn't go to school, she only knew that a woman must have a home, and a family must have a child to make the family stable, I don't blame her, but if I had to choose again, I would definitely not compromise, because the days after compromise are really difficult.
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People who get married in a hurry because their parents urge them to marry will not be in a good situation later, and there are generally three endings.
The first is flash marriage, most of them are due to the pressure of their parents urging them to get married, and those who get married in a hurry feel inappropriate after getting married, and they divorce immediately, and they are slow for two or three months, and the two people take the initiative to file for divorce. It was only two or three days fast, and he divorced immediately after getting married, which made the jaws of the people around him drop.
The parents urged them to get married, and they didn't care whether the two people were suitable or not, the cow didn't drink water and forced his head, he thought that after the two got married, he would live like this for the rest of his life, but he didn't expect that the two of them couldn't live for two or three days, and they divorced immediately. I am also in pain, I feel that the times have changed, I have done too much, I put too much pressure on my children, and I want to complete my tasks, but I didn't expect to make mistakes again and again, and I have no money and no money.
The second is that there are many contradictions, although after a few years, they finally divorced.
Due to the urging of the parents to get married, the two people did not have an in-depth understanding, so they got married in a hurry, and only after marriage did they find that the living habits and thoughts of the two people were too different, and there were many contradictions, and they spent every day in pain and quarrels.
Although there was reconciliation between their parents, in the end, within a few years, the two divorced.
Before getting married, you should have at least three months to half a year to understand the time, you should not rush to get married because of urging marriage, understand each other's needs, and see if the two people are suitable before deciding whether to get married.
In the end, it's a constant quarrel and making do with it.
Some of them felt that they were getting older because of their parents' urging to get married, so they casually found someone to get married in a hurry, and soon gave birth to children.
At this time, the differences in personality and needs between the two people are exposed, and they often quarrel constantly, and even add fists and feet, but because of the children's work and other reasons, there is no way to divorce, and they quarrel constantly every day, and they are miserable.
People who get married in a hurry because of their parents' urging marriage, rarely have a happy one, don't believe in love at first sight, you must have an in-depth understanding before marriage, understand each other's needs and three views, and two people can live together for a long and stable time.
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Most of the people who get married in a hurry because of their parents' urging are unhappy, and there are three main reasons:
First, people who get married because of their parents' urging to marry are generally older, belonging to older men and women, and these people have not gotten married at the age when they should get married, which is somewhat problematic, and now they suddenly get married, which will leave a lot of hidden dangers, and they do not know each other, and many contradictions will be exposed after marriage.
Second, because it is a hasty marriage, both men and women do not know enough, and both parties show their good side before marriage, and their true nature will be revealed after marriage. My brother is a typical example, he and his sister-in-law married late, and they got married quickly because of the urging of their parents, and the sister-in-law behaved very well before marriage, gentle and considerate to him, but after marriage, the temper and personality of the two people are not compatible at all, the sister-in-law is very strict with money, and my brother feels that he has lost his freedom, and decades have passed, although there is no divorce, the relationship between people is really bad.
Third, most of the people who get married quickly because of the urging of their parents do not have their own opinions, and their parents belong to the strong kind, and after marriage, their parents interfere with them a lot, and as long as they live with their parents, it is difficult to talk about happiness in such a marriage.
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How to deal with parents' urging to marry?
One of the major problems that people who are getting older often face is the urging of their parents to marry. In Chinese culture, "marriage" is a very important event, and parents often want their children to get married as soon as possible. However, it is not so easy to get yourself to marry willingly (or not to marry).
This article will suggest some methods and suggestions to deal with the problem of being urged to marry by your parents.
1.Listen to our parents: First and foremost, we should respect our parents' advice about our marriage.
Listen to them, and give yourself some room to think. In this process, it is necessary to establish appropriate communication channels to maintain effective communication between parents and themselves, and also to prevent excessive interference.
2.Stop being submissive: It is unwise to pander to your parents' opinions for the sake of marriage.
We believe that everyone has their own right to think and choose, rather than being asked by others. Therefore, we must learn to stop being under pressure from our parents, not passively accept their opinions, but make self-conscious choices under the premise of rationality.
3.Seek reconciliation and compromise: Sometimes, when dealing with this situation, say "no" tactfully, and filial piety is a good way to do it without hurting your parents' feelings.
If parents are concerned about your marital issues, you can talk openly and honestly with them about your ideas and plans in order to better understand each other's positions. Trying to listen to the other person's opinion and consider compromise options can also reduce the pressure that your parents may put on you.
Believing in time can often help you find a more suitable object for you and achieve better results. At the same time, you will be fully prepared and improved in all aspects.
5.Stay sane and calm: When parents are stressed, we tend to lose our cool and make bad decisions. It is very important to be calm, to be calm in communication, you can present your opinions and prevent you from being controlled by your parents' emotions.
Summary: When it comes to marriage, we have our own ideas and choices. However, when considering the advice and opinions of our parents, we need to balance our relationship with our parents so as not to hurt each other.
We need to think about what we want our married life to do and make decisions accordingly. When we deal with this situation, it is okay to listen to the advice and opinions of our parents, while taking into account our own long-term well-being and interests. The most important thing is that we need to deal with this issue and not let it hurt our relationship with our parents.
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The elders in the family didn't do many excessive things because I was single, but when I went home during the New Year's holidays, they would arrange a blind date for Kuanshi and me, that is, to urge marriage. I feel like I'm getting older, and it's understandable that they're doing this for my own good, and I won't contradict them because of this.
Young people have their own measures in how they do things, both respecting others and protecting themselves. It's not their fault that relatives don't understand, because long-term circumstances can pave and change a person's perception, and they have never heard the concept of "boundary sense" or that it might make you feel violated because they have never had the opportunity to be educated to learn to build boundaries.
Actually, we need a common topic. When your relatives point fingers at you, have you ever thought that maybe they don't care about your business at all and don't want to know how much you are paid? Are there any objects?
It doesn't matter how easy your life is! All they need is a topic that everyone can participate in.
At the end of the year, it is not easy for the old and the young to get together to chat, and the New Year's is not easy to say, "This winter is too warm, and the wheat harvest will not be good in the coming year," and it is not easy for young people to talk about the details of their lives, right, it is not easy! It is precisely because there are no common topics and emotional connections between young people and elders that talking about the current life and emotional state of young people has become the most lively topic to get together.
These are exactly what everyone has experienced, and there is no standard answer. Elders have their own love mantras to teach younger people, and it is a light-hearted topic that everyone can discuss. It's just unfortunate that you're the one at the center of the topic.
This kind of "awkward chat" may not bring positive mood swings. But think about it from another angle, it is to entertain yourself and let relatives have a pleasant chat. This is not easy compared to the usual ones in work and life, isn't it actually much better?
It's important to have a good mentality!
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There is a way to deal with anything, whether it is being urged to marry or the marriage plan is delayed, there is no need to be too anxious. Here are some of the best tips for refusing to urge you to get married, so you can stay on your feet:
1. Don't come close.
The best defensive strategy may be to avoid it outright, not to have more contact with the problem, even if someone urges you to do it, and to use your mind to move the conversation to another topic.
2. Shift the focus.
Once someone asks a question and you want to avoid it, you can try to shift the focus to other aspects, such as work, study, etc., and lead the topic to other aspects, even if someone else puts the spotlight back on marriage, you can also move it to another place and maintain a calm topic arrangement.
3. Polite refusal.
If the pressure of being urged to marry is too great, the best thing to do is to politely refuse, you can say to the Qi family: "Thank you for your invitation and concern all the time, however, my marriage plan is not within the scope of my planning, I don't want to waste everyone's precious time, I hope you can understand." In this way, even if the other person does not agree, you can maintain a humble, sincere, respectful attitude and maintain your own posture.
Fourth, act according to the situation.
When you are urged to marry, whether it is you or your family next to you, you must take action according to the situation, whether it is immediately refusing to urge you to marry, or postponing your marriage plan, you must take practical actions to respect the feelings of your family to the greatest extent.
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