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When I first entered the school, the class introduced myself. A male classmate stepped up to the podium: "My name is You Yong, I am from Beijing, I love to play chess!" After saying that, he went down, and the next one was a girl, who walked up to the podium shyly and introduced herself nervously: "....My name is Xia Qi....I love swimming....
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A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! 」
Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, it's time for the meeting!! )
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It is said that there are four female cadres who failed to compete for posts, and everyone came together to sum up the lesson: one of them was very discouraged, and she said with grievances: "The reason why I failed is that there is no one above"; The second one was also very discouraged, she said, "There is someone above me, but he is not hard"; It's the third turn, sighing, "Even though there is someone above me, he is also very hard, but he is not moving"; Hearing this, the fourth almost cried, she said, "Not only are there people above me, but they are very hard, and I have to move my old nose vigorously, but I don't bleed," ......
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The old grandmother went to get a haircut, her face full of doubts:"Why did three yuan become five yuan? "
The barber explained": Now the price of vegetables has risen, so .......
The old grandmother said angrily, "I don't put vegetables in my hair.""
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I suddenly thought of the kind of life I had in high school] I did math in Chinese class, math in English class, math in physics class, math in chemistry class, math in history class, math in politics class, math in biology class, math in geography class, and the days when I was still doing math in evening self-study.
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Imagine what she looks like with a bald head.
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In the past, the school said that there would be a physical examination, that there would be a stool test, and that everybody would bring a little bit of it, and then, there was an alumnus who was packed in a Chow Tai Fook bag and a box.
Then I walked halfway and was robbed by someone driving a motorcycle...
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After decades of studying, it's still a good mix of kindergartens.
There is no end to learning, and turning back is the shore.
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Once upon a time there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain, and there was an old monk and a little monk in the temple.
One day it was snowing, and the little monk was playing in the snow outside.
The old monk said lovingly to the little monk, "Child, come in, don't freeze." ”
The little monk said, "Got it, Dad."
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A scientist went on an expedition to an island in Antarctica, where there were 100 penguins, and the scientist asked the first penguin.
What do you do in a day? "Eat, sleep, beat beanie. ”
The scientist asked the second penguin.
What do you do in a day? "Eat, sleep, beat beanie. ”
The scientist asked the third penguin.
What do you do in a day? "Eat, sleep, beat beanie. ”
The scientist asked the ninety-ninth penguin.
What do you do in a day? "Eat, sleep, beat beanie. ”
Scientists ask the hundredth penguin.
What do you do in a day? "Eat, sleep. ”
Why don't you beat Doudou? "Because I'm Doudou! ”
When the director of a psychiatric hospital heard that the leaders were coming to inspect the hospital, the president called a meeting of the patients of the hospital, and the director said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders who are going to visit, and all the people must go to the door to welcome them. At the time of welcome, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, to stand neatly, and when I coughed, everyone applauded together, the warmer the better; I had to stop all my stomping and not make a mistake. >>>More
LZ, I've been dead for years.
1. When I was in elementary school, I couldn't afford to buy a bicycle because my family was poor, so when I took a taxi home to go to junior high school, I was too outstanding in my studies, and the school kept me for two more years, and the high school principal thought I was quite promising, so he charged me an extra 30,000 yuan. >>>More
1 A director bought a new car with a license plate number of 00544, and the director was very dissatisfied and thought it was unlucky. The manager persuaded him: "00544 is a homonym that moves me to try, symbolizing majesty, how can it be unlucky?" >>>More
Bobo: It's not just cool jokes, it's funny.