Recommend some hilarious jokes, what are some funny jokes?

1. When I was in elementary school, I couldn't afford to buy a bicycle because my family was poor, so when I took a taxi home to go to junior high school, I was too outstanding in my studies, and the school kept me for two more years, and the high school principal thought I was quite promising, so he charged me an extra 30,000 yuan.

The current homeroom teacher thinks that I am very independent and decided to let me drop out of school, so I became a hooligan and stabbed my brother in both ribs, and stabbed my brother twice for a beautiful woman, and my brother is like a sibling and a beautiful woman is like a dress, whoever robs my clothes I cut his hands and feet, and whoever moves my siblings I wear his clothes.

I used to think I was a talent, but unfortunately I was wrong, I wasn't! I didn't expect to be a genius!

Depend on. Helpless, I wanted to kill myself! But your presence dispelled my thoughts and gave me the courage to live, thank you! You know what, when I first saw you, I thought: You can live like that, why can't I? O benefactor!

A poor man was in a dream when he was suddenly awakened by a robber who pointed a gun at him and said, "Don't move! I'm only looking for money, and if you move around, you'll be killed!" ”

The poor man smiled bitterly and said, "I don't move, I just want to get up and look for money with you." ”

Last night with a brother **, he just got engaged, the little couple showed me all kinds of sweetness, I was silent for a long time and popped out of a sentence: "When will I pay back the money I borrowed from you last time?" "And then there was no then....

Newborn laughter can be heard in the hospital, and the doctors, strangely, break the clenched fists of the newborn baby. Saw a pill. At this time, the baby spoke: Damn, it is not so easy to kill me.

The veterinary clinic was particularly busy one day, and I handed over a file from a new client, Dr. Gan, to the new arrival.

She looked at the medical records, looked up in surprise and said, "This is the case I dealt with when I was in the previous clinic. ”

The client wants to hear from another doctor. I explained.

I know," she said with a smile, "but this other doctor is me." ”

It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan, and Cao Cao were on the same plane, and suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did it turn out that there were only three parachute bags left on board. Everyone was nervous for a while, and then I saw Zhuge Liang shaking his feather fan, clearing his throat and saying

In this way, the mountain people come up with a few questions, and if they can answer them, they will parachute, and if they can't answer them, they will have to jump down by themselves. The others had no choice but to agree.

One. So he took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again:

He also took an umbrella bag and went down. In the end, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked:

The second time four people encountered an emergency on the plane, the four of them discussed, yes, it's still the old way. Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan again and asked Liu Bei: "What was the battle in which King Wu of Zhou defeated King Zhou?"

Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again: "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a while and said:

There are about thirty or forty thousand. Zhuge Liang nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down. Cao Cao couldn't help but snicker and think

Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I have been through the past and the present, especially in the military, this time you are planted. ”

I saw Zhuge Liang ask: "What are the names of the soldiers?" Cao Cao almost fainted when he heard this, so he had to jump down by himself, but he didn't expect to jump into the sea again and pick up a life, Cao Cao laughed secretly.

The third time the same four people took the plane, and the plane encountered an emergency again, Cao Cao thought about it, Zhuge Lao'er wanted to fix me again, so I just jumped down and forgot it to avoid insults. So he jumped down, and in the high-speed descent in the air, he could only hear Zhuge Liang shouting to him above: "Meng De, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" ”

Pig 1 and Pig 2 are at the door, and Pig 3 is on the roof. Pig 1's name is "who".

Pig 2's name is "where".

Pig 3's name is "what". And so there is a wonderful dialogue.

Wolf): Who are you?

Pig 1): Right.

Wolf): What?

Pig) 1: "what" on the roof.

Wolf: I'm asking what's your name?

Pig 1): My name is "who", "what" on the roof!

The wolf asked Pig 2): Who are you?

Pig 2): I'm not "who", he's "who". [Pointing to Pig 1] (Wolf): Do you know him?

Pig 2): Hmm!

Wolf): Who is he?

Pig 2): Yes.

Wolf): What?

Pig 2): "What" on the roof!

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2): "Where" is me.

Wolf): Who? Pig 2): He is "who". [Pointing to pig 1 again].

Wolf: How do I know.

Pig 2): Who are you looking for?

Wolf): What?

Pig 2): He's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2): It's me.

Wolf): Who? Pig 2): I'm not "who", he's "who".

Wolf: Oh my God!

Piggy 1.2): "Oh my God" is our dad.

Wolf: What's your dad?

Pig 2): No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore, and looked up to the sky and sighed: Why?

Piggy 1.2.3): Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf): What?

Pig 1): No, our grandfather is "why".

Wolf): Why?

Pig 1): Yes!

Wolf: What is it?

Pig 1): Not "why".

Wolf): Who? Pig 1): I am "who".

Wolf): Who are you?

Pig 1): Yes, I'm "who".

Wolf): What?

Pig Pig 1.2): "What" on the roof. The wolf cried out, oh my God!

I'm crazy! So he jumped into the pot and cried and said: 3 big pigs. You eat me, I have no attachment to life!

M: Let's talk.

Female: Not Male: Why Female: Busy.

M: What are you busy with Woman: Play.

Male: What to play Female: Game.

M: What a game F: It's fun.

M: What's fun F: Annoying.

M: Just talk to me if you're annoyed F: Get out.

Male: The ground is not clean Female: Damn.

Male: Give you a shoulder Female: Look for death.

Male: "Death" on page 961 of the dictionary Female: Dizzy.

M: I have anti-sickness medicine F: I took it.

Male: I don't get dizzy after taking the medicine Female: Big brother.

M: I recognize you as a sister F: Please.

Male: Bye, you don't have to take it off Female: I'm going crazy.