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Be kind to him, but not spoil him, but use a correct and positive way to guide him to be a good boy, and make him realize that you are right to let him do this, and it is good for him!
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Get to know him. Coddling can lead to dependence and irritability. Violence can lead to rebellion and repression.
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Disobedience causes parents to have a great emotional reaction, but this is not because they really care about the child's gains and losses, but because the parent's authority and dignity love the challenge, and the parent's own set of beliefs, values and rules love to offend. The superficial (rational) truth of parents is: "If this continues, the child will not grow into a successful person."
And the reason for the memory (perceptual level) is that one's authoritative position loves to challenge. But this is not to say that children should not be obedient, but we as parents should understand that there are not many opportunities to really ask children to be obedient. Let's take the following points as an explanation:
1: If you are more obedient, you will use your brain less, and if your brain does not have the opportunity to use it, you will not be able to develop higher intelligence.
2: Obedience is a breeding ground for dependence on character. Some parents have made arrangements for their children, and the children just need to be obedient.
This is typical for child growth. Such a child will grow up to be a weak and unassertive person, and someone must say "words" to do it.
3: Parents always want the next generation to be better than themselves. Just imagine, if the child is completely obedient, no matter how good he is, he will not surpass himself, let alone imitate another person, no matter how good the child is, he will only learn eighty percent, then the generation will not be as good as the generation.
If you really want the next generation to be better than yourself, you must allow your children to disobey you in some ways.
In fact, parents should guide their children to use their own minds to think, understand how things should be done, and take the initiative to do things because they can give him enough value. If the child takes the initiative to do everything that should be done, then there is naturally no need for the child to be obedient. No two people are the same, so it's impossible for even your own children to have the same view as yourself.
At the same time, children should listen to their parents in these situations: learn basic life skills when they are young, and there are also emergencies. I hope you don't mind, and I hope it can help you a little.
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There are many ways to make children obedient, the simplest is to beat, and then to buy. Carrot + stick is the most effective way to subdue others.
But although this method is effective, it is not a long-term solution, and it does not make your child really convinced. They are just obedient to their faces, and they may be even more wild behind their backs. I believe this is not the original intention of parents.
To really make your child want to listen to you, there are a few things you can do:
1. Parents study hard to improve their own knowledge. Learned people deserve to be trusted.
2. It is best to set an example for parents to ask their children to follow. "Close to Zhu Zechi", the child will learn the most.
3. If parents want their children to listen to themselves, they must make themselves consider the problem from the child's point of view, and what they say must be beneficial to the child and the child has the ability to execute.
4. When the child is disobedient, clearly point out the child's mistakes and their own expectations, and don't let the child have a fluke psychology and vague understanding.
Of course, even if the child has done all the above, he may not listen to you. After all, a child is an individual and has his own ability to think and act. Sometimes, disobedience is also a learning experience and a necessary way to grow.
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The best thing is to get to know him first, and then slowly approach him and be good friends with him. Praise him more. In this way, he will slowly trust you. Violence will not solve the problem, it will only make the child fear you more.
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Be friends with him first, and then communicate with him as if you were a friend
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Hello, when parents educate their children, they hope that their children will listen carefully to him and let him know that his parents' education of him is for his good. But the child just ignores the parents, the more the parents say, the more the children do not follow the parents' words, as the children grow older, the independence is getting stronger and stronger, they face the parents' preaching, have their own thinking and behavior, parents should give the child the opportunity to express their opinions, which is also good for the child's rational thinking habits.
Of course, adults should also pay attention to some details when communicating with children, so that they can communicate well with children more quickly and make children become obedient and sensible children. So how can you make your child obedient?
First, you should communicate with your child often, try to understand your child, don't show the prestige of a parent when talking to your child, treat your child as a friend, and let your child speak freely in front of you without any sense of inhibition. In this way, the child will not lie, and can also grasp the child's thoughts in time and correct the wrong ones in time. If there is something to talk to the child, do not impose your own opinions on the child, only make suggestions and let the child think for himself.
Second, parents nowadays are very busy and don't have much time to take care of their children, so parents don't know what their children are thinking, they don't understand their children at all, but they want their children to listen to their own words. Children's way of thinking is different from that of adults, and parents should not discipline their children as adults, this will not work. For example, if parents teach their children many times and still don't know the words, they may be very angry and sometimes even angry with their children.
Third, many parents must have encountered such a problem, the child is unwilling to eat, obviously made a large table of dishes, the color and flavor are complete, but the child is not willing to eat, how to solve this problem? There are four ingredients at home, fish, pork, celery, and cucumber, you can let your child choose two of these ingredients to make for him to eat.
Fourth, there should be a method to educate children, praise and encouragement, criticism and punishment are appropriate, we must persuade children with patience, we cannot force children, and we must let children understand from their hearts that the mistakes are wrong, and what things must be preached, not scolded. Patience from parents is the best way to educate their children.
Fifth, we should pay attention to children's moral education and parent-child education, and cultivate feelings. Be strict with your children, don't spoil them, do your own things, and do housework appropriately. If you are too lazy, you will not be filial in the future.
Sixth, pay attention to cultivating children's interest in learning from an early age, often educate children to have lofty ideals, and guide children to have a caring, kind, cheerful and positive character. As long as you insist on patient teaching to children, you will definitely be productive.
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Getting children to listen to their own words may be what every parent wants to achieve. Here are some tips that can help you build a good communication and partnership with your child and make them more willing to listen to you:
1.Build intimate relationships: Building an intimate and stable relationship with your child is fundamental to nurturing them to listen to you. By spending time with your child and listening to their thoughts and feelings, mutual trust and understanding is built.
2.Communicate expectations clearly: Communicate your expectations for your child clearly, making sure they understand your requirements and limitations. Use clear, concise language to express what you mean and make sure your child knows what the consequences will be if they don't listen to you.
3.Establish positive incentives: Provide positive incentives and rewards to motivate your child to listen to you. Rewards can be material, such as prizes or small gifts, or non-material, such as praise, praise, or allowing them to participate in special activities.
4.Ways to deal with conflicts and issues: When dealing with conflicts and issues, take a positive approach to communication and resolution. Provide a safe and open environment where children are encouraged to express their opinions and feelings rather than just emphasizing your authority.
5.Clear rules and boundaries: Set clear rules and boundaries so that children know what is acceptable behavior and what is not. These regulations can include some basic principles of courtesy and ethics, as well as safety and health requirements.
6.Provide reasonable explanations and justifications: When you make requests for your child, try to provide reasonable explanations and justifications.
Let your child understand that your request is for their benefit and safety. This will help your child understand where you stand and increase their motivation to listen to you.
7.Lead by example: Be a role model for your children and guide them with positive behaviors and words and actions. Children are more inclined to imitate and learn from the behaviors of adults around them. So, make sure you behave in line with your expectations and expectations for your child.
It is important to note that each child is unique and has individual differences. Take into account your child's age, personality, and stage of development, use these suggestions flexibly, and establish open, calm, and respectful communication with your child. Collaborate with your child to solve problems as much as possible to encourage their autonomy and responsibility.
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a.Give children time to divert their attention.
When a person is doing something with several concentrations, whether it's playing, crying, complaining, fixing a car, reading, or cooking, they can't immediately hear what you're saying. Before you speak, observe what your child is doing. Adults, like children, need a few seconds to turn their attention to something else so that they can focus on you.
b.Don't talk to a crying child.
It's not just useless to say to a crying child that they don't cry; It also sends a message of silence, "What I'm going to say now is more important than how you feel." "You can wait until the children's cries start to get smaller.
c.Speak slowly, with some pauses as you speak.
When parents speak too fast, children will unconsciously have a feeling of incomprehension so as not to be shocked. When talking to others, whether it is an adult or a child, do not be overly emotional. Make sure to give them some time to digest what you've just said before moving on to the next thing.
d.Pay attention to and regulate body language.
Paying attention to your child's body language is a great way to determine if your child is listening to what you are saying. If the children don't listen to what you say, don't blame them and don't remind them of what their bodies are doing to get their attention. Instead, you should adjust what you're doing.
You can make some eye contact with them when talking to them on the front wheel, or by gently touching their shoulders.
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It is a very distressing and painful situation when parents have experienced hard work and dedication, but the child's behavior is disappointing.
Here are some suggestions:
1.Communication and understanding: First, try to communicate openly and honestly with your child about the reasons behind their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Make an effort to understand their perspectives and motivations to facilitate deeper communication.
2.Introspection and reflection: Review your own parenting style and methods, and reflect on whether there are some deficiencies or areas that can be improved. Although a child's behavior does not depend entirely on the parent's education, the family environment and education have an impact on the child's growth and behavior.
3.Seek professional help: If your child's behavioural problems are severe or unable to resolve them independently, consider seeking professional counselling or family support. Professionals can help with problems in the family and provide advice and guidance.
4.Give support and love: Even if your child's behavior disappoints you, you still need to show support and love for them. Create an open environment where children feel supported and cared for, while encouraging them to change and grow positively.
It is important to note that children's behavior is not only the result of parental education, but also influenced by other factors, such as individual differences, peers, social environment, etc. The education of parents, while important, is not the only determining factor.
The behavior of children in adulthood has a certain relationship with the education of their parents, but it is not a decisive factor. Children will be influenced in a variety of ways as they grow up, including school, friends, society, etc., and they will also form their own values and decision-making skills. Therefore, education is only one part of it, but it still plays an important role in shaping children's values, morals and behavioral norms.
Most importantly, as parents, we do our best to provide the right education and guidance to our children, pay attention to their growth and needs, and provide appropriate support and assistance when needed. At the same time, it is also important to accept that children are independent individuals, that they have their own choices and responsibilities, and that they respect their upbringing.
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As long as you give your mother-in-law face, that is, give him face, he will listen to you. That is to say, when you have a conflict with your mother-in-law, and your husband comes forward, you have to take the initiative to retreat, and then "settle accounts" with him after returning to your own small world, he will be very grateful and will seriously consider what he says to you. If you and your mother-in-law do something to Mai Mang, he will not be able to get off the stage, and his anger will only be sprinkled on you, and it will seriously endanger the marriage.
You can refer to the second season of Where Dad Goes.