How to love yourself and change your people pleasing personality?

1. Accept your imperfections.

We often don't know how to love ourselves, and let our emotions such as low self-esteem and depression torture our hearts, but in fact, everyone is perfect.

There are two sides to everything, the good self and the bad self, you are real, you don't need to mind your imperfections, face it squarely and accept it, you will look at yourself objectively and truthfully.

2. Establish a sense of boundaries and be brave enough to say no.

In traditional family education for Chinese, parents are overly involved in their children's lives, and when the child falls, the parent immediately rushes over to help him up, but does not know how to tell him to try to stand up.

It is difficult for a parent who does not have a sense of boundaries to educate children with a sense of boundaries. Many times we don't know what is our own business and what is someone else's.

And see other people's affairs as our own, so whether in interpersonal communication or intimate relationships, we should establish a sense of boundaries, and be able to bravely say no to others, it is not your business, or it is not something that you are capable of doing, and reasonably refuse.

<> "How to Change My People-Pleasing Personality."

How to improve your people-pleasing personality and no longer want to lower yourself in order to please others.

1.To change your inner perception of yourself, to be confident and to improve your people-pleasing personality, you have to learn to say no and learn to say no to others. But that's not the crux of the matter.

The point is that you have to change your opinion of yourself from the heart, you are very good, you are no different from everyone else, and you deserve to be loved. You have to understand that you don't need to please others to get their love and affection for you.

2.Understand that trying to please may not necessarily get likes and love, believing that pleasing others all the time will definitely make you feel very tired, and when your own pleasing is not reciprocated, and others still don't like you, it really makes you very sad. You see, pleasing doesn't allow us to gain the love and liking of others.

When dealing with people, it is good to be frank and sincere, and flattering will make your interactions with others lose their sincerity. Engaging with a flattering relationship will make you not show your true self, and the person being flattered can actually feel your tiredness and even feel the over-plattery.

3.We must have a sense of boundaries and principles, separate our own world from others, and do not let others enter our world to point fingers, and we do not break through the boundaries of others. This is what we usually call learning to refuse, you have to learn to say no, you have to learn to refuse other people's requests.

Helping others is not a duty, it is just a feeling.

At the same time, as people say, many people's people-pleasing personality is because of the kindness of their hearts. But wronging one's kindness may be just a humble flattery in the eyes of others, and you have just become an object that can be bullied at will.

If you want to change yourself, you have to find your own problems, so before telling you how to change yourself, I would like to give you an analysis of the four wrong thoughts of the pandering personality that we once had. I believe that after you fully understand yourself, you will be able to change yourself for the better.

First, be sensitive to other people's feelings.

I used to live a very tired life, because I was always cautious, afraid that what I said was not right, that it would make others unhappy, that I would not do something well, and that others would give me a bad evaluation.

So at that time I was the image of a good old man. No matter who asks me to do something, I work hard. No matter what unreasonable demands others have, I grit my teeth and meet them.

However, it didn't go my way. Most of the people around me didn't treat me better because of my efforts. On the contrary, those who truly love me always make me not so sensitive.

Maybe it was because I was young and immature at that time, and I was always afraid of being isolated. Later, as I grew older, I began to understand that it is not right to care too much about other people's feelings, because they will not love you more because of your sensitivity, but will ignore you like this. Remember, being moderately sensitive is called caring, but being overly sensitive can be the culprit of your unhappiness or unhappiness.

Secondly, I always like to elevate others and belittle myself.

I hated it when people belittled me, especially as a kid. I don't like my mother always praising other people's children, which makes me very insecure.

However, when I grew up, I also developed the habit of always exalting others and belittling myself.

Actually, I know that I don't really have low self-esteem, I just don't have self-confidence. I always want to say such derogatory things to give myself a way out.

But in fact, I know that when I have already said that I can't do it, others will already look down on me, I just want others to affirm me and help me increase some self-confidence.

But how can self-confidence be given by someone else? When a person has such a need, the weakness of the heart is visible, and this is the main reason why we develop a likable character.

When you do what you love, you are being yourself. The people-pleasing personality is due to a lack of self-confidence, a lack of courage, and a submissive approach. If you want to change this kind of personality, you must first establish self-confidence, do things with reason, don't be afraid of offending people, and learn to take responsibility and be responsible.

Follow these and slowly you will find yourself changing.