How to change the people pleasing personality

1. Accept your imperfections.

We often don't know how to love ourselves, and let our emotions such as low self-esteem and depression torture our hearts, but in fact, everyone is perfect.

There are two sides to everything, the good self and the bad self, you are real, you don't need to mind your imperfections, face it squarely and accept it, you will look at yourself objectively and truthfully.

2. Establish a sense of boundaries and be brave enough to say no.

In traditional family education for Chinese, parents are overly involved in their children's lives, and when the child falls, the parent immediately rushes over to help him up, but does not know how to tell him to try to stand up.

It is difficult for a parent who does not have a sense of boundaries to educate children with a sense of boundaries. Many times we don't know what is our own business and what is someone else's.

And see other people's affairs as our own, so whether in interpersonal communication or intimate relationships, we should establish a sense of boundaries, and be able to bravely say no to others, it is not your business, or it is not something that you are capable of doing, and reasonably refuse.

How to change the people-pleasing personality approach.

For many people-pleasing personalities, it seems that the popularity is very good, but in fact, they are tortured behind their backs, others just take a fancy to their own weakness and use value, for the people-pleasing people, we must wake up, learn to love ourselves, protect ourselves, so that we can have a happy life.

When you push too hard, you will inevitably expect that these efforts will be rewarded in the future. At this point, your giving becomes a token that tries to exchange emotions. Even if you say it's okay, the motives behind you will often be seen through by the other party.

And once the other party sees through and finds that your efforts are just to exchange for something, he may despise you, or he may take advantage of you.

Humanistic psychology research believes that people are born with a tendency to self-development, self-redemption, and self-realization! We have the inner ability to stay away from discomfort and move towards mental health.

Our internal growth force also provides the best internal resources, and has a natural tendency to develop in a more complex and perfect direction. So we have to believe in ourselves and believe that we have this ability and nature.

The evaluation of the organism does not depend on external standards, nor does it rely on the rationality of the person at the level of consciousness, but on the satisfaction generated by the self-organism. When we remain open to our experiences, we find that our organism can be trusted.

Let's not be fearful of our true feelings, our real experiences. In fact, experience will be very satisfying to practice self-management. Our organism feels and experiences and develops constructively in an environment of full acceptance.

Respect your heart, the most primitive feelings, this is particularly important, just the other party says you, you don't want to, you don't want to guess the hidden don't you don't have to be afraid of it, hey, I'm going to hide, I'm going to please you If you Zhaoming's heart is really uncomfortable, that's uncomfortable, you can't go against your own heart, against your own jujube hall heart, you will hold back the problem.

Discuss the bend and hide the bend hall.

The pleasing type of Xianhe personality feels that his kindness will be rewarded, and the more he pays, the more tired he becomes.