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It's up to you to see it.
The personality of a friend may be like this, and he should also know that if you have a deep relationship, this problem will affect your relationship to a greater or lesser extent, because in his opinion, a few casual words seem to you to be chattering and unforgiving.
It's like a thing is actually very small, but it will chase after it, it depends on how you look at it, if you feel that it is unnecessary or a little fuss, then you should choose a time to communicate with him, since it has reached the point of deep friendship, then you should not give up easily. <>
You still need to communicate with your friend well, point out his shortcomings and shortcomings in his words, although it seems that it is nothing, but it is because these small things will inadvertently hurt others.
Still can't be in a hurry, slowly enlighten him once or twice, then three or four times, this is a long process, no one can change their shortcomings at once, right, so you still have to have the confidence to change.
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I don't think so. Since you're talking about deep friendship, then don't do it, if you don't want to break off this relationship, just keep the relationship as an ordinary friend.
Everyone will encounter a lot of contradictions in their lives, others have done something wrong and offended you, or there has been a conflict with others, it is okay to complain a little and have a small temper, but it is a bit bitter and mean to be unforgiving, and it is not humble to always blame others.
In fact, I think everyone is very small, no one is qualified to look down on others and find fault with others, because although others will make mistakes in this matter, but you will always make mistakes and mistakes in other things, there is no one who is always right, so why can't you be more considerate of others, have a tolerant heart, many people always see the shortcomings of others, that is, the heart of "self-grasping" is too heavy, you can't see yourself, you can only see the mistakes of others, ridicule others, The stupidest person is the one who can't see his own problems, he can only see the problems of others, and I have a deep friendship with such people, and I am afraid that I will also be infected with negative energy.
I think humility is an attitude that makes people improve, because such people can continue to learn from the people around them who have good qualities, let their posture be lowered, and always learn to change themselves for the better. In my work, I will come into contact with many important customers, who are the regional general managers of those big hotels, or the representatives of well-known brands, who are all well-known people in society, and they put themselves in the position of ordinary people.
I once went with the boss when I attended an event, and the big bosses and managers were very humble to everyone, greeting, shaking hands, and even hugging the staff. There were no reporters taking pictures at the scene, and no outsiders were looking at them, they were all people in the circle, they all got along with people so respectfully and truthfully, and their posture was lowered, but some people whose monthly wages were obviously not high and who were no longer in important positions had their eyes on the top of their heads. This is the gap between people and people, and some people are just not destined to become the climate.
So make friends with the right person, because he will subtly influence you.
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Basically, what kind of friends you make determines what kind of person you are.
For your friend who likes to be unforgiving and always loves to be responsible for others, I suggest that you and him don't have a deep friendship! Why? I think it's because of these points.
There is no empathy
The first is that he has no empathy, that is, he will not think from the other party's point of view, he will not empathize, and the reason he gets is just what he thinks is the reason, and it has nothing to do with others. When you meet such a person, it is better to stay away.
It is difficult for a person without empathy to communicate, and the best way for you to be in front of him is to remain silent. Because the more you talk, the more energetic he becomes, and the more he feels that he has a point.
Forgiving and forgiving, for a stubborn and dull person who is unforgiving, there is no need to entangle with him anymore, treat him as a passerby.
Absolute negative energy
He always blames others, a typical refined egoist, his purpose is to cool himself at the same time, he can't see the good of others, eating in the bowl and looking at the pot.
This kind of person has negative energy all over his body, and after being with him for a long time, you have also become negative energy, complaining about the sky, talking nonsense, and complaining all over the sky.
Stay away from negative energy people, you can be relaxed! Life is already quite tiring, and it should be offset by positive energy, rather than using negative energy to add fuel to the fire.
Love to rip off
This kind of person also has a major characteristic, that is, he loves to pull the skin, and he keeps pulling until you get angry, you pull the east, he pulls the west, and the pull is his standard, if he doesn't pull the skin, he will be uncomfortable. He has also practiced the kung fu of playing tricks because of his love for ripping, you can't pull him, the best way to treat him is to treat him coldly, let him fend for himself, and stay away from him!
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I think that no one is perfect, and whether you want to have a deep friendship with him depends on whether he has something that attracts you.
If his advantages are greater than his shortcomings of "loving to accuse others", of course you can have a deep friendship with him! If he has no merits in his own right, and he usually likes to criticize others, then it is good for each other to only be a general friend.
Actually, whether to have a deep friendship with him or not, you already have a tendency in your heart, don't you?
It's really annoying at times! Always be careful when talking and doing things with him, otherwise you will get angry, and the thorns will be small, and it will be really fatal if you are endless. Who wants to spend a lot of time arguing with people all the time? It affects the mood, and no matter what you do, you won't be happy.
If this friend just likes to find fault and has nothing to do, then it is wise to stay away from him.
But if this friend is a strict and unreasonable nerd, and he is really unforgiving because you don't pay attention to what you do, then I think you should accept it with an open mind when you point out your problems.
We need like-minded friends who are in harmony with each other, and we also need one or two friends. After all, everyone can say good things, and the words of friends who can point out problems are actually more useful to us. In many cases, people's progress is inseparable from similar friends.
So, you have to figure out if you're doing the right thing, if he's criticizing the right thing. After sorting these out, decide whether or not to continue to have a deep friendship with your friends.
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I won't have a deep friendship with such a friend anyway, people say that those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black, and what kind of people I have been with for a long time will slowly become what I will become. Your friend has to be unforgiving, and he will often accuse others, so it is conceivable that he must be a fierce person, and there should be many people around him who don't like him, anyway, I don't want to be such a person, so I will stay away from him.
The environment a person is in and the friends around him will determine what kind of person he will become in the future and even how he will go in the future. You follow a positive person, and slowly your personality will become cheerful, enthusiastic and generous, and you follow a person who always loves to complain and scold, and slowly you will feel that your whole body is full of negative energy. We always have to tell ourselves to be a healthy and uplifting person, so we have to stay away from people with this negative energy.
And people who don't forgive people are often not liked by everyone, everyone is trying to be forgiving and forgiving, if there are friends and colleagues around us who do something wrong, we should also be tactful to put forward, not to aggressively accuse people. Maybe like you, a friend, he got the pleasure of venting for a while, but after that, did he think that it would cause a bad impression on others, hurt his interpersonal relationships, and when he was angry, or when he was more emotional, the impact on his body was relatively large, and it was not very good.
We all hope that our working environment or living environment is a peaceful, warm family, and we all hope that our relatives and colleagues around us will get along harmoniously, so if you meet someone like your friend, I believe many people will stay away.
I suggest that you don't have a deep friendship with him, if you can change, if you can remind him properly, just remind him appropriately, if you can't remind him, then forget it, it's his own life after all, we as others can't interfere too much.
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It can be said that a person likes to blame others because he is too attached to his own feelings and does not understand the feelings of others, and cannot change his thoughts and care for others for the sake of others, yesAccusatory personality
What is an accusatory personality?
Accusatory people don't care about relationships.
and the emotions of others, they wantAbsolute initiative and prestige, so they tend to want to win, but are too aggressive. On deeper analysis, we often find that blaming people have the psychological characteristics of evading responsibility for theirProblems and ErrorsIt's all about others, staring at others and giving up on their own problems and responsibilities.
How does the accusatory personality behave?
For example, they will say that it's all because you're this way and that, as if everything has nothing to do with your own problemsAvoid liabilitybecause of their ownThe heart is too fragile。When they become aware of their responsibility, they may break down and fall into deeper depression and self-blame. Therefore, prevention of potential guilt, self-blame, and depression isProtect yourselfimportant ways.
In fact,Accusatory peoplePutting too much energy into others is like they're attacking each other and pointing out each other's before solving the problemQuestion
"Whether things get better or not, whether problems can be solved, is not determined by what you decide, but by the other side of the change. ”
How to change your character
Its posture, in fact, is a small heart, is fragile, and on the surface it is strong, butInsideis fragile. This is in line with an unwillingnessTake responsibilityIn order to make communication smoother and solve problems effectively, it is also necessary to take into account harmonious interpersonal relationships, reduce dependence on others and unrealistic expectations, and learn to recognize that responsibility is not terrible, and at the same time take responsibilityRespect feelings
Summary
Blaming often implies psychological dependence on each other. Things can only be resolved when they change themselves, and all this is done by themselves. The only thing that can be done isChange each other and solve each other
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I think we all hate the surface of the set, the back of the people, think that such a person is particularly hypocritical, may be on the surface with you very good relationship, but in fact, behind the back has been accusing you, has never wanted you to live well, then your friends, is the kind of people, although on the surface has been very good with you, may have been praising you, but always accusing you behind the back, let you hear it will be very uncomfortable.
So I think it's like this, if you don't care about this friend, and you don't want to have a relationship with him in the future, then I don't think you need to pay attention to him, he says you just let him say, you don't want to pay attention to him, he naturally never gets a response from you, and he doesn't want to do such a thing.
But if this friend is something you care about and you want to continue your relationship with him, then I think you still need to question him face to face, not that you want to stiffen this relationship, but that you want to know what his true opinion of you is? Is there really something wrong with you, you are willing to change it for him, because you want to be friends with him, you want to continue to associate with him, so I think it all depends on how you think of this person.
You don't have to completely deny him because of his behavior, maybe you have some problems yourself, then you can solve such a problem according to the actual situation. Maybe you really have certain shortcomings, and he is just afraid of hurting you on the surface, so he doesn't want to talk to you, so he will tell others.
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Don't ask him about that kind of person, just stay away from him in front of him and behind his back, tell him less about anything, and treat him as a familiar stranger.
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You have to be questioned, and this is the way you should do to this kind of duplicity, or he will slander you endlessly!
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In this case, don't have a deep friendship with such a person, there is no benefit to yourself but disadvantage, and it will not be like this to treat your friends sincerely, usually only to his ordinary friends.
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There is no need, such a person should not be friends with her. You're just superficial in your dealings with her. In reality, many people praise you in front of you and hurt you behind your back.
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Don't trust this kind of friend anymore. But only if you ask.
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You can say it to your face, and point it out to your bad friends so that you can correct it in time.
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This is the so-called face to face and back to the back, what else does this friend want.
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This kind of friend is not sincere, and it can be showdowned.
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Let's make it clear to my face, that's how I confessed to my girlfriend.
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