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A woman was worried about obesity and happened to find a green ** advertisement in the newspaper. The next day, the woman bought medicine and asked, "Do you want this to work?"
Clerk: It works, if you don't get a course of treatment, you can come to me. Female:
Didn't ***? Clerk: Absolutely not!
F: Is this medicine so good? Can you lose weight after eating this box?
The clerk hesitated for a while, "Yes, but not too much." A few days later, the woman came to the store again.
yes, what's wrong? Before taking the medicine, I measured that I was still 125 pounds, but after taking it, it soared by 150 pounds! I've eaten a lot less food!
Clerk: ....How many capsules do you eat in a day? Female:
You ordered it all in one box, so I ate it all at once and observed it for a few days. No, I'm fat again..
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Story 1: On the bus, a girl came to the scene, wearing white pants and a red piece, and a kind aunt walked up and said, "Girl, is your family a pig killer?" How to sit on the pig's blood. The girl said disapprehantly
Auntie, you directly said that my eldest aunt is here, how can the people in the car say that they are so awkward. A buddy in the back shouted: Everyone come and see there, this girl's aunt is here.
Story 2 On the bus, a buddy brought a headset, hummed while singing, his feet didn't listen, and he didn't know how many farts he had in a row, and a buddy took off his headphones and said: You listen to the song yourself, fart to others, what do you mean? That dude takes off his headphones:
You have this quality, it's good to have fart, and you listen to **. Story 3 On the bus, an old woman supports an old man.
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Reverse the funny joke script to find it in Kuaishou, and the operation method is as follows:
Operating tool: vivo X9
Operating system: Funtouch OS
Software: Kuaishou.
1. Open Kuaishou and log in.
2. Click "Camera" to enter the Kuaishou shooting interface.
3. Click "**".
4. Click "Creative Soundtrack".
5. There are a lot of reversal funny joke scripts to choose from, including heart-piercing, God reversal, etc.
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A girl gets a ** from the guy she's always had a crush on. The boy asked the girl in **: "I have someone I like, I want to confess, I'm already at the door of that person's house now."
The boy said happily, "Okay, come and open the door, I'm at your door." The girl ran over excitedly and opened the door for the boy.
The boy held a bouquet of flowers and smiled shyly: "Is your brother at home?" I've liked him for a long time.
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The exam was over, and when she walked out of the exam room, she squatted and cried. Everyone looked at this beautiful girl who was crying pear blossoms with rain. He hugged her gently:
Fool, don't cry, I know you won't, so I didn't do the rest of the questions. The girl couldn't be more moved. The crowd applauded their love.
Later, he was admitted to Lanxiang Technical School, and she was sent by her family to study abroad.
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Dad runs a restaurant, and after eating in the store that day, he wanted to fill the scene for his dad and shouted: "Little Er! Checkout!
Dad came over and slapped me in the face: "Xiao Er is your name?" "I:
Waiter, checkout. Another slap: "The waiter is your name?"
Me: "Dad, check out." "Dad:
Wouldn't you have been beaten up earlier? It is said that the guests sat from noon until nine o'clock in the evening and no one settled the bill......
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I am a restaurant owner, and my son came to eat at noon today. Suddenly yelled at me: "Little Er, settle the bill!"
I couldn't help but get angry, slapped it, and scolded: "Xiao Er, is it your name?" The son was stunned for a moment, and then said:
The waiter, check out! I was even more angry, slapped me again, and said angrily: "You called the waiter?"
The son hesitated for a moment and said slowly: "Dad, settle the bill!" I laughed
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Because by chance, they met in a group. Unexpected fit, talking can catch the point, and even the hobbies are almost exactly the same. The longer they talked, the more speculative they became, and gradually they became fond of each other.
Her voice is sweet when voice chatting. He said: Although I have not seen you, I can completely imagine what you look like, and even if I meet you in the crowd, I can recognize you at a glance.
She didn't believe it. He said, "Give me a photo of your class, and if I can't find you, I'll go out and run around naked."
So she sent him a group photo. He watched it for a long time, circled five girls, and said to her: Among these five girls, you are 100%.
She laughed: Your eyes are poisonous enough! The five beauties in our class have been circled by you, but I'm not in it!
He glanced at the other girls in ** again. Then he blocked her.
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Today I went to a restaurant for dinner, and a guest checked out the bill to the owner after eating, only to see him shouting, "Little Er, settle the bill." The boss actually slapped him and reprimanded:
Little Er is your name? The guest said, "The waiter checks out."
The shopkeeper slapped him again and said angrily, "You called the waiter?" The guest slowed down and said:
Dad, check out. The boss said, "Wouldn't you have to be beaten up like this?"
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Three boys chased a girl at the same time, and the girl said, "You travel all over the world and come back, and I will choose again." The first boy went to Europe, America, Africa, the second boy went to Australia, and the third boy returned to the girl, walked around the girl and said:
You are my whole world. The girl was very moved, and with tears in her eyes, chose the richest of them all.
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Once upon a time, there was a very beautiful girl who had a vicious stepmother and two sisters who had bad hearts. She was often bullied by her stepmother and two older sisters, forced to do heavy work, and often covered in dust, so she was nicknamed "Cinderella". One day, the prince of the city held a ball.
A fairy appeared to help her transform into a noble lady, changing into a beautiful dress and a pair of crystal shoes for Cinderella to wear. Cinderella was so happy that she hurried to the palace for the ball. The joy of the ball went by quickly, and Cinderella had to leave immediately, leaving a crystal slipper in the hurry.
The prince picked up the size 43 slipper and fell into a pensive ......
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Boy: "Guess what. Then the girl read all the names except the names of the girls in her class, and the boys said no, and the girls looked shy
So who do you like? The boy also looked shy: "You haven't pronounced the boy's name yet." ”
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She was forced to borrow money from the president. The president handed her a bank card and said domineeringly: "This is 10 million, you divorce him." She said, "No, I still love him!" The president said with a cold face: "But I still love him!" ”
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A young couple lived together, one day they quarreled, the girl got angry and packed up her things to go home, the boy hugged him and said you take all your things away, I am also yours you take me away, the girl cried and said okay. Then she divided the boy into three sacks before taking the boy away.
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That day, I saw a bear kid slashing my car with a knife. He walked over with a smile on his face and said, "If you paint so well, you will definitely be an artist in the future."
And gave him a hundred dollars, then pointed to a Lamborghini and told him to go there and get more money. Then the bear child walked over and said to the owner of the Lamborghini: Dad, you are really right, those two fools have been scratched by me, and they actually praised me for giving me money.
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I met him on online social platforms, we are of the same age, have similar hobbies, chat very speculatively, and he will take care of me very well, a warm man. Gradually, I found that I had fallen in love with him, and I would be disappointed every morning when I couldn't see his good morning, and I would lose sleep every night if I didn't talk to him for a while before going to bed. I already know my heart very well, but I am anxious to know him, and if he says that he loves me too, I will definitely run to him in desperation.
Finally, one day, I mustered up the courage and sent him a message: I ......I actually like you, you should have seen it a long time ago. That....What do you feel about me......For a while, there was no movement over there, and I was a little disappointed, so forget it.
At one o'clock in the middle of the night, I suddenly received a message from him: Do you remember that you bought xx in the xx** store 3 months ago? I say; Remember.
He: To tell you the truth, I'm the ** shop owner, who came to deceive your feelings, who told you to say that you wouldn't change anything when you had to give a bad review! Hahahahaha Me: ......
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I went to the restaurant to eat, and I saw a plate of crayfish ordered at the next table, and the children at that table asked the waiter, "If the crayfish are eaten by us, will the family not find it?" The waiter said, "Don't worry, their whole family is here."
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The girl cooks for the first time and makes Coke chicken wings, and after the boy eats them, the girl asks: Are they delicious? The boy smiled and said:
Delicious. The girl didn't believe it, so she ate one too, saying, "It's not cooked, it's not delicious."
The boy said, "As long as you make it, I like to eat it." The girl smiled and happily finished the chicken wings with the boy.
Soon after, the boy and girl died of bird flu.
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Teacher: Mobile phones are not allowed in my class, so people who really don't want to listen can sleep! Xiao Ming: But teacher, I want to play with my mobile phone ...... before going to bed
In the morning, my mother was cleaning in the kitchen, and I saw a big spider, the big spider ran very fast, and climbed to the ceiling, my mother kept chasing and beating, but in the end she still didn't catch it. After a while, when it was noon, my mother went out to buy groceries, took a basket and some change, and went out. When I went to the vegetable market, many vegetable sellers smiled at my mother, and my mother didn't know what they were laughing at, so she responded with a polite smile. >>>More
The story of lying down and tasting guts.
In 496 B.C., King Wu sent troops to attack the Yue Kingdom, but was defeated by the Yue Kingdom, and He Lu was also seriously wounded and died. Two years later, the son of Lu led his army to defeat the Yue Kingdom, and the Yue King Gou Jian was escorted to the Wu Kingdom as a slave, and after Gou Jian endured humiliation and served the King of Wu for three years, the Fu Cha discouraged him and sent him back to the Yue Kingdom. >>>More
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Waiting for my nephew to get out of school at the gate of the elementary school, when it was time for the end of school, there were more people, and the two boys walked out of the school gate with their schoolbags and water guns on their backs. On one side, a female head suddenly walked over and poured a bottle of mineral water on the head of one of the children, and in an instant the child became a soup chicken, standing there, staring at the female head with tears in his eyes. A girl handing out flyers next to her couldn't stand it anymore and said: >>>More
The miniskirt that the beautiful woman was wearing was beautiful, and I wanted to buy it for my wife. I asked her where you bought this dress, and she scolded me for being a stinky rascal and told me to put it down.