What are the jokes that make you laugh until you cry?

In the morning, my mother was cleaning in the kitchen, and I saw a big spider, the big spider ran very fast, and climbed to the ceiling, my mother kept chasing and beating, but in the end she still didn't catch it. After a while, when it was noon, my mother went out to buy groceries, took a basket and some change, and went out. When I went to the vegetable market, many vegetable sellers smiled at my mother, and my mother didn't know what they were laughing at, so she responded with a polite smile.

Mom stopped at a meat stall to pick pork. The boss who sold the meat smiled: Oh, big sister, it's popular to wear spider hairpins on your hair now, you're really trendy.

Mom touched her hair suspiciously, and grabbed the big spider just now with one hand, and Mom screamed on the spot!!

Stars are stars in the universe, so everyone pays special attention to their names in order to become stars. Li Yuchun thought that since ancient times, heroes have become teenagers, and they will become stars in their youth, so their dreams have come true. Ma Tianyu understands that he is imaginative, and as expected, he has become a star.

Tao Dayu, if you want to become a star, of course, you must have grand ambitions and go to the vast universe Tao Bao. Wu Zhenyu, his ideal is to sit in the universe, hoping to become the most brilliant of many stars. Chen Guanyu dares to fight hard in the universe and win the championship of the stars, and the stars of the universe will write his name.

Zhang Zhenyu, in the universe, he exhaled and responded, that is an authoritative star.

When you go to a new barbershop, be sure to choose the hairstylist with the ugliest hairstyle, because then you can avoid the worst hairstylists.

Coming to this strange city, without relatives and no reason, if you hadn't asked me to borrow money, I wouldn't even have an uncle.

The next night of self-study, my dad picked me up and went home, there was a cat on the road, my dad looked at the cat, and said: "The cat hurts too much, just come with it".

Erlai in the village watched TV news all day long, and he knew that the country attached great importance to poverty alleviation, so Erlai rushed to the township to find the township head. He said: "My family is surrounded by four walls, and there is only one single, you are a servant of the people, and you want to help me with poverty."

The township chief asked, "Why don't you go out to work if you have a healthy body?" Erlai said

I have no skills, no diploma, I went to work outside to work as a coolie, and it has only been a few decades since we peasants turned over and were liberated, so you are telling me to return to the serf era. The township chief said, "Well, you do need to help the poor."

Er Lai said happily: "When will you be able to give me poverty alleviation funds?" The head of the township took a book to him and said:

To read you a book "How Steel is Made", you need to help the poor spiritually. ”

Looking at the beast spirit Yin Qian, who was three times larger than himself, it was already full strength to take his blow and bounce away just now, it seemed that he needed to outwit, and Xibi didn't have so much time to consume, Jin Fei was thinking about it, and there were some water droplets condensed in his hands, which were peeled from the air. Yin Qiankong Zheng pounced, Jin Fei shot the water droplets in his hand, Yin Qian dodged the last blow, Jin Fei used the light ability of his body to move in, Yin Qian continued to hit hard, but Jin Fei dodged it, and finally, when he was about to tear Jin Fei in half, he stopped ......Succeeded, Jin Fei grabbed the necks of the two people on duty in his hands, that is, Yin Qian's colleagues, if he couldn't beat it, he could only make a bad move, Jin Fei threw a hostage into the elevator Fangqiao Zhou direction, and Yin Qian, who jumped back to pick it up, was so angry that he screamed! "Hiss" Jinfei grabbed another hostage, and his hand was cut by the hidden Qian's blade qi a few wounds, and he couldn't stop being tired, and he picked up Xibi with one hand, and the other.

1.According to the old man's many years of experience in watching football, this game is either a home win or an away win. 2.

James was furious、、、 and then, made a mistake. 3.Players' Voices:

When we go home and play with Atay, we'd better wear body armor. 4.Yes?

This big center 3 steals? Oh! It was stealed.

If the Heat don't win today, I'll swing my sword from the palace! 7.Wow!

A gorgeous turn, a step-back jumper; Wow! What a flowing pose! Wow!

Hatted! 8.Young man, even if you are Jamie, don't scold Komi, because your parents may be Komi.

9.In fact, there are two people in the Lakers who are not afraid of the soft and afraid of the hard, Kobe: not afraid of the hard; Gasol:

Soft is not deceitful.

A university, on the elective course attendance rate of a large survey, the results are as follows: "PS Quick Start" course, the attendance rate is 90, most of the course selectors are girls, a girl said, after learning this course, you can post ** in the circle of friends in the future. "Fighting the landlord strategy" course, the attendance rate is 85, the course selectors are high school students, they said that the reason for choosing this course is that they can't fight the landlord, and they can't mix in the dormitory.

LOL Introduction" course, unexpectedly, the attendance rate is only 11, the course selectors are LOL masters, a student said, now every student will LOL, they choose this course, mainly to save enough credits, so the attendance rate is very low. "Advanced Applications of Calculus" course, the attendance rate is 2%, most of the course applicants like to pretend to be forced, several students who come to the class, the spirit is a little abnormal, and the professors give lectures like chicken blood.

A girl is very timid, she thinks about everything very scary, and she happens to work overtime. One night I worked overtime very late, it was dark, and I didn't dare to walk alone at night, so I took a taxi, who knew that when I was waiting for a taxi, I met a passenger on the same road and wanted to carpool together. She was timid and sat in the front, and the man sat in the back to salute the orange.

Halfway through, the girl didn't dare to look behind at the manuscript, and as soon as she turned her head, the person disappeared, and then turned her head, and the person disappeared again......The girl was so scared that she couldn't do it, so she called her mother and said that she would wait for her at the corner and go upstairs together. When the taxi arrived at her door, she ran and saw a woman looking at the door, and she thought that this was her mother, and went upstairs with her. The stairwell, dim, without street lights, they went upstairs while talking about the scene that had just happened, and when they arrived at their house, the girl asked

Mom, thanks to you for picking me up, otherwise, I would have fainted! At this time, the woman's words frightened the girl .. faint on the spot

Hello ......Xiao Wang: I haven't seen you for a long time, but you have changed jobs now? Xiao Li:

I'm in Shandong. Xiao Wang: It's a good place in Shandong.

Then you have a good time working in Shandong, right? Xiao Li: I'm ...... Jimo, ShandongXiao Wang:

Are you lonely in Shandong? But it's a little lonely to be alone in Shandong. Xiao Li:

Xiao Li:Last time, I sent you the documents and materials that you asked for in a hurry, I sent them to you by courier, did you see it? Xiao Li:

I'm still in the process of opening it. Director: You are in such a hurry, I sent it to you half a month ago, why did you open it?

Xiao Li: That's what I said.

In order to be able to eat delicious chocolate for free, Xiao Ming signed up to become the supermarket's trustee, and when the people in the supermarket took out the chocolate chain, Xiao Ming stepped forward to eat it, and then praised the chocolate for being delicious. After a few days, Dove Chocolate engaged in activities, and Xiao Ming went to receive **, according to what was said before, the people in the supermarket gave Xiao Ming some chocolate, Xiao Ming clicked and chewed, and then the staff asked Xiao Ming how it tasted? Xiao Ming gave a thumbs up and said

The taste is fragrant and delicious, and the lips and teeth are fragrant after eating, I have never eaten such delicious chocolate! (A smile on the face of the crowd!) Xiao Bu Ming continued:

I feel silky smooth, ah! My clothes, my clothes, came off on their own, was it because I ate Dove chocolate? (A few of the surrounding crowd started laughing)...

Dear Brother Sharp: Sister is your blessing when she falls in love with you, don't show me a cheap and obedient expression! It's not my sister's fault that I fell in love with you, who made you a brother!

Sister is not a phoenix, but you are not sharp, it is all praised by netizens! Sister doesn't like you because she's lonely, but because she likes you, she becomes lonely! Sister left Obama all the way to find you, not because you are sharp, but because you are fashionable enough!

Brother Chun is brilliant because of your super girly voice, and Sister is happy because of your sharpness! My sister is famous not because of loneliness, but because of your existence! Your sharpness is born for me, and using it in my sister is the right way!

Dear Sister Feng: Brother sees you like a mouse seeing a cat, you can only watch from afar! It's not my brother's fault for giving up you, who made you a sister!

Brother isn't lonely, but neither are you.