Very, very funny joke!! 5 or more!

1. Yesterday I dreamed that God said that it could fulfill one of my wishes, I took out the globe and said that I wanted world peace, he said it was too difficult to change it, I took out your ** and said that I wanted this person to be beautiful, he pondered for a while and said that I will take a look at the globe.

2. A woman is ugly, can't get married, and hopes to be trafficked. finally made his dream come true, but he couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent it back, she resolutely did not get out of the car, and the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stomped their feet: go, the car is gone.

Years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child's ugly looks, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's pitiful, the hungry are hairless. ”

4. On the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also learned from the parrot and said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", the flight attendant was furious and threw the parrot and the pig off the plane. Then the parrot said to the pig, "Be stupid, you can fly." ”

5. There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, and the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Rely on your mother!" I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The raven said, "Damn! You're and wearing pants! ”

There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Rely on your mother!" I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The raven said, "Damn! You're and wearing pants! ”

There was a young lady who was on the train, and suddenly that one came, and then went to the toilet for convenience. I changed (sanitary napkins) and saw that there was nowhere to throw them, so I opened the window and threw them out. There happened to be an old man working in the field outside the car.

The train brushed over, and (the sanitary napkin) just hit the old man's face. The old man touched his face and said"Damn, the car is driving so fast now, even the paper is smashing me into blood. ”

The wife went out to collect debts, only to return empty-handed after a few months.

The husband said angrily: "You are so incompetent! ”

The wife was unconvinced and said, "Although I didn't ask for the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" ”

The husband was overjoyed and asked, "What about people?" The wife slapped her stomach and said, "It's locked inside!" ”

When I was in high school, I wrote the next sentence of the poem. The last sentence is: "Luoyang relatives and friends ask each other", I respect a classmate to fill in: "Just say that I am in Yueyang Tower".

In a high school Chinese exam, the last sentence was: "The grasshopper shakes the tree", and some students filled in the delay letter: "Don't move" - very consistent with the facts.

Mock Shen High School Chinese Exam, Write the next sentence of ancient poems. The last sentence is: "When the mountains are full of flowers", someone actually filled in: "I will try my best to pick the flowers".

In the past, when students read the text, there was a sentence: take out the banana fan and fan it. Originally, the pause should have been to take out a banana fan, a fan. The classmate directly reads: Take out the plantain and fan the fan!

The teacher said: "The egret flies in front of Xisai Mountain", and a classmate couldn't hold it for a long time, so he replied: "The black turtle climbs by the river in Dongcun"!

The first time, when I came back from abroad, I just got off the train and found that the zipper of my bag had been unzipped. When I opened it, the information was still there. However, there are a few more rows of words written by thieves in the blank space of the information: such a beautiful bag, there is no money in it, what is the width of the room if you don't have money? Waste my feelings!

The second time, when I was resting at home during the day and was surfing the Internet, I suddenly heard a sound coming from the kitchen, and I gently walked over to take a look, and it turned out to be a thief who pried me into the broken security doors and windows. I pulled out a kitchen knife and walked over to him and said, "What are you going to do, if you don't leave, I'll call the police."

The thief put away his tools unhurriedly, and then threw out a sentence at me: "You are sick, there are people in the house, make a noise!" It hurt Lao Tzu to be busy for a long time.

As he spoke, he turned around and walked ......

The third time, I was walking alone on the street, and a little boy in his 10s pulled out my pocket of clothes, and I turned my face to him and said, "Kid, what are you digging for?" "Nonsense, money, of course.

The kid replied. I saw that he was a child, so I scared him and said, "I don't have any money, you don't have to pay it again, or I will send you to the Public Security Bureau to bend your beard."

The child glared at me and said, "You don't have any money, what are you so murderful?" After saying that, I left in a huff, and I was so angry that I couldn't speak for a while.

The fourth time, I came home from the night shift, it was late, I was washing in the bathroom, and suddenly I heard a movement at the door, as if someone was picking my lock at the door. So I shouted, "Who?

What are you doing? Who knew that the thief replied at the door, "What are you doing if you don't sleep so late?"

There was no sound after that. I was at a loss for what to do, and I couldn't ...... crying or laughing

When a couple of young men and women were dating in the park, the girl was very bored and wanted to fart, and she thought of a way:

F: Have you ever heard a cuckoo call?

M: I haven't heard of it.

F: I'll teach you, cloth (fart sound) valley (sound from the mouth).

After learning a few times, the time to put it has been played.

F: Did you hear me?

M: The fart was too loud to hear.